I know that so many of ya'll love the chili at a certain fast food restaurant that rhymes with Bendy's, but that stuff's not fresh, okay.
Sorry to burst your bubble. It's a dark, dark secret I've carried inside me for over a decade.
After Redditor Themanfromjapan420 asked the online community, "What is your job keeping secret from customers?" people lined up to share some secrets of their own.
We are all such fools!
"Unbaked"
there's a popular overpriced deli/bakery, also part of a chain, in the rich area near where i live. people always say how "fresh" everything is, how "talented" the bakers are. i always thought their baked goods were dry af but i hadn't been there in years and was looking for a specific cake i knew they had. they accept custom orders but when i was ordering they said they couldn't put vanilla frosting on a chocolate cake???
I kept asking why and the worker kept dodging with a vague "we can't." quickly realized nothing they "bake" is actually made there and that's why their it's so damn dry it's nearly stale. no clue how the hell so many people think there's anything more than a massive fridge in their "kitchen" or why this place is so popular.
"Just Normal"
GiphyI work for a printing company. The amount of jobs that we print that say "printed on recycled paper" and it is just normal paper is astronomical.
"Come on In"
We all know you are high/screwed on some drug. We don't just don't care if you can behave.
Nightclub owner.
If anything, I imagine it's good for business because f*cked up people aren't paying attention to the rate at which they're annihilating money.
"Serving 2%"
I worked at an incredibly under stocked coffee shop once. If someone asked for whole milk I was told by management to tell them we had it, then serve them 2%. Then one day I served a milk farmer. I've never been called out on my crap as fast as the damn milk man himself.
"All the Same"
Our residential and commercial model are the same thing just marketed and priced differently.
But when a person asks what the difference is, we get told to just pull crap out of our butt.
"stronger cooling fans, better waterproofing, stronger locks, better dust filters"
I basically just name all the features and say they're better... 😅
That's disgusting and will probably just surprise them.
"Security"
GiphyI work in a Hotel, and at least in this Hotel our security is crap. I don't wear any id or uniform that proves that I'm actually an employee and can go in and out everytime i want to. So, that means that ANYONE can come and get in the hotel without problem at ANY TIME.
"Phone Plans"
Phone plans are significantly less expensive that what we quote you a lot of the time. TPR wants us to sell you as much literal useless junk as possible that you would not ever agree to paying for, so they make us bundle it in so you don't even think about it. It's pretty shady, but I also got a kid to feed, definitely still searching for better.
"Bubbles"
GiphyThere's actually no difference between a $300 champagne room and a $150 private dance. We're supposed to say it's more private etc, but it's the exact same just with a different price tag.
"The Dealership"
I used to work as a mechanic in a dealership. Women would accuse us of taking advantage of them constantly. Truth is, if a woman would come in for a problem and we caught another, if we could just fix it, we would and the customer would be none the wiser. In fact, if there was a problem we could correct without a part or a great deal of time, we just did regardless.
"Hotel Visit"
I used to be an in city truck driver. And id often deliver to hotels. You can pretty much just walk freely through most hotels, even in the kitchens and back rooms. There's actually lot of places you can just walk freely through, even just in street clothes. If you act like you belong, no one stops you. Sometimes if i had to take my lunch break at a delivery, id throw a flannel shirt over my work shirt and then a safety vest and just walk around with a clipboard in my hand. I got to see a lot of cool places and only got stopped once.
"Trashed"
I worked for a grocery store who made a big song and dance about their "new green initiatives" and had large recycling bins in all our departments, assuring the customers that we were doing awesome!
Then at the end of the night we would just chuck everything in the trash compactor.
"Moving Parts"
GiphyI work in manufacturing and we make parts for companies like Ford, GM, Mercedes etc. Not gonna lie after working in this career I'm surprised most people's car parts and just falling apart with the amount of crap we know that's wrong but we need to meet orders so we send it out anyways.
"Pay Out"
I work for an insurance company so we kind of have to be honest with our customers. But there are a lot of times when claims don't get paid due to an internal issue. You can't just say there's an unfixable problem with the system and that you don't know how long it'll take to get fixed. All we can say is that it's been looked at and should be fixed soon.
"I loved working in geriatrics"
I worked in a long term care home.... I loved working in geriatrics, I still do. I no longer work at this home.... Residents paid $84.00 a day to live in a home that was A) right across from a hospital but the nurses didn't want to send them because they didn't want to pay an ambulance fee. A man died of a brain aneurysm when he was showing symptoms of distress but didn't want to pay for the ambulance that drove them across the street B) if they were short staffed they would serve meals on styrofoam plates because they didn't want to stay late or leave dishes for the next day C) Last straw (then I quit) there was a power outage within this two story facility.... all locked doors opened.... all lights shut off, all elevators stopped working because there was NO backup generator....
I 10000% called the ministry of health and safety to let them know and they told me there were so many violations.... one hour and thirty minutes of discussing this hell hole I'll never get back. PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU SEND YOUR LOVE ONES 💗 PS I do cognitive support with seniors now within an amazing home!
"Shotty Work"
I work in reliability. It's my job to be aware of exactly how sh*tty our suppliers are, and how many end user failures we can expect because of it (there's always an acceptable amount of failures).
So it's okay that your manufacturing is crappy. If companies wanted higher quality manufacturing, they would pay more for it (but they don't, always cutting costs).
"Lost $$$"
GiphyMy boss makes ZERO profit from tobacco/JUUL. If we under order from our distributor and need to get cartons from someplace else, he LOSES money. When we increase our price it's to satisfy the state minimum. He sells tobacco and milk at zero or negative profit so you walk in the door, counting on you to buy other items at 150-200% markup because you're already in there. Milk and tobacco sell themselves, and 50-75% of our customer base buys more than just those two items.
"Fraud"
I worked for Fortune 500 company where my manager deliberately charged customers for hours I didn't work.
Indeed that is good ole' fraud.
"repacking"
Used to work at a private liquor store. We used to spend evenings of beer order days "repacking" the beer using a manual machine of sorts that made both 6 and 8 packs. The rings would come on a big perforated spindle that could be separated with ease after each pair of rings. It was possible to buy 6 packs, but the company saved so much money buying extra 24/36/48 packs for staff to break down into smaller packs.
"All for the $$$"
GiphyIn a lot of cases you can get a college degree for way less than most Universities try to charge. This doesn't really apply to careers where certain prestige or accreditations are required. But in a lot of cases state colleges and even guidance counselors at high schools condition kids or even some adults into thinking that they need to spend a fortune on 4 years at one school to get a degree. The guidance counselors do it because the more of the students go on to a 4 year school, the better the HS looks. The colleges do it because $$$$$$.
"Up in the Air"
Flight attendant.
It is part of my UNIFORM that I carry paperclips 'in case the flap that releases masks doesn't open'. (meaning I could die). It's good to know that the plane that houses 300 passengers is so poorly built that their life could depend on a paper clip that they don't even carry.
"Choke Out"
I worked at a pet store where the grooming salon killed someone's dog. The groomer put it in a hold to clip its nails and choked the dog out. Two workers walked by and commented about how they didn't think it was a good way to restrain the dog.
The general manager told the owner the dog had a stroke. No one was supposed to talk about it. The poor girl tried to give the dog CPR, which was against company policy. She quit shortly after.
"Be Polite"
We hate when customers change their minds on products and leave them scattered at the front end instead of letting us know and hand it to us. We don't mind if you change your mind we just get annoyed that people are too afraid to ask. Its not the end of the world that they don't want a basket or a case of soda.
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"Members Not Only"
You don't actually need to be a member to get in.
I know at Sam's Club, you don't necessarily need a membership to come inside. But you do need a membership card to actually purchase anything.
"Third Party Issues"
I work for a worker's comp third party administrator, so while not an adjuster we're the middleman for the adjuster and most injured workers don't really know the difference. It doesn't bring me any joy to tell people they're denied or tell them their authorization is still pending after 3 weeks.
Some of that comes down to crappy or unresponsive adjusters, but the biggest issue is usually the doctors.
I have to explain multiple times a day to patients that we would be happy to approve their medical treatment, but everything is on hold because the referring physician didn't: fill out the form, filled out the wrong form, left required areas blank, put the wrong body part/diagnosis (this happens with alarming frequency), didn't sign it, didn't specify a quantity for something, didn't submit supporting medical notes, and refuses to answer our calls, our fax requests, our emails, the adjuster's calls and emails, their employer's calls, and the bat signal we sent up.
"System is Updating."
When someone in IT screws up a software system and we need to get it running again, we just put up a message on the login screen that says:
System is Updating.
That sounds much better than:
The IT guy screwed up, so your system that you pay monthly fees for is down. We are scrambling to fix it.
"shouldn't you be shocking them?!"
GiphyContrary to popular belief, you CANNOT, I repeat, you CANNOT defibrillate someone who has flat lined. Those are only used to regulate abnormal rhythms such as ventricular fibrillation. If someone has flatlined, you do compressions and push drugs to help get some form of pulse back.
Source: was an EMT, now medical student. You'll be surprised how many people ask "shouldn't you be shocking them?!"
"Yelped"
Despite being the 2018 #1 Restaurant on Yelp, they heat up their meat for their sandwiches & cook eggs inside a microwave. Glad I don't work there anymore. The family isn't as nice & friendly as they portray themselves on social media.
"Wino"
GiphyI'm a bar back at a winery, if we say we're out of a particular wine, we're not, there's like 15 boxes of it in the basement.
"basic borders"
Back when I worked at Borders they told us if we suspected someone was shoplifting that we should approach them and ask if they needed help finding anything. It was supposed to make them think twice about stealing and maybe put back what they were taking since it made them feel like they were gonna get busted.
"Climb Every Shelf"
Sometimes the load of new merchandise completely blocks access to the backstock shelves. It takes time to work through the load and get it all onto the sales floor/on the backstock shelves.
If that is the case, and you ask "if we have any more in the back", the answer will be no - even if we actually do have your item in backstock.
No one is going to climb through the load to find what you're asking for. Come back on a different day and see if it's on the shelf then.
"Gagging"
Back when i worked in a deli at a very well known grocery/retail store all across america i found the most hideous displays of food safety violations. This included a tub filled with chicken water (bits of cooked chicken and grease that came off racks that were soaked in water) that hadn't been changed in over 4 months. The smell alone almost knocked me out while i hard core gagged. This was where we stored racks to cook rotisserie chickens on without cleaning the racks before we reused them.
Showed my manager and she said she was "working on it". Cue this for another few months (me asking whenever i saw her to tell me how to fix it) and she was always "working on it" and "don't worry". I quit due to that and many other violations that weren't being fixed and moved to another retail/grocery chain located in the midwest. Much cleaner deli.
"won't sell kittens or puppies"
GiphyThe cats at our store might be from reputable rescues, but the hamsters/lizards/etc we sell sure as sh!t come from animal mills.
Kind of screwed up for a business that spouts how wonderful they are because they "won't sell kittens or puppies" because of the issue with mills.
"Dumpster Queen"
I work for a Dairy Queen and well it's not as bad as some other places but well if you liked fast food you wouldn't after seeing what goes on in that kitchen. I've seen just about everything food that's been dropped on the floor be served, sour milk in one of the machines, lettuce soooo old it turned into a soup, dumping of fry grease into the dumpster.
"The Menu Lies"
I worked for a fancy country club who bought their food from Walmart. I also saw frozen stuff like Stouffers lasagna. A LOT of stuff wasn't fresh at all. A lot of stuff was made, then frozen and then reheated later. I bet if the members found out they'd be freaking pissed!
"filth"
GiphyWe only clean the restrooms on Mondays... It's a school... But small and it's cleaned well I promise don't worry I definitely do my job well.
"1 accident at a time"
Fast food: We drop crap on the floor all the time. The pizza box, a chicken wing, the hot pan grabber. It all just gets picked up, put into the fryer for a moment, or run under the faucet for a second and put right back into use. Diversifying microbiomes 1 accident at a time.
"I worked at a deli/coffee shop..."
I worked at a deli/coffee shop that was part of a local chain. Most of the baked goods arrive frozen and half-baked, and half the soup is day-old.
"I worked in the infant room..."
I worked in the infant room at a day care and I saw so many kids take their first steps. We were supposed to lie through our teeth about this. We would tell the parents their kids were getting close and to keep the camera ready.
We had a new girl who refused to lie about this and allowed a little girl to walk to her mom at pick up. I saw that mom weeping in the parking lot when my shift ended a few minutes later.
A lot of parents deal with a lot of guilt over putting their kids in daycare. If the parents feel like they're missing important milestones it can be really hard. So we just let them have it.
"I've worked at..."
GiphyI've worked at two different restaurants that advertised "fresh squeezed orange juice" on the menu, but it was really Minute Maid from a dispenser.
"Back when I worked..."
Back when I worked for a rather popular clothing store, here in the UK. Customers would come into the store on Christmas Eve and ask if the items they wanted to buy would be cheaper in the boxing day sales. We had to say we didn't know, and wouldn't know until head office sends us the price lists after the store closes on Christmas eve.
The truth is, we knew a week in advance what the sale prices would be. We could even check the sale prices whenever we wanted. In fact, when you ask a member of staff to check if they have other sizes im stock, they would scan the barcode on the shop floor. Using a handheld scanner to check the stock they had in the store room.
Right there on that scanner, they have the current price, future sale prices, and any promotional offers on that item. As well as a list of every available size the item comes in and how much stock they have.
Management would tell us to keep future sale prices secret so the store could reach monetary sales targets.
"I used to work..."
I used to work at a well known pizza place and most of the time I worked in the back answering phones and washing dishes and every time I made a order we always add coupons just to be nice even if they're being a big pain. We would add one or two coupons.
"Retail here."
Retail here. At least at the company I work for (and to the extent of my knowledge), nothing.
From my vantage point, customers inexplicably think we're hiding something, when we're actually not.
"The same store..."
GiphyI used to have a small side job at a billion dollar chain grocery store. Every few hours they would say "Attention associates, recycling is now open" over the loudspeaker. There was no recycling. It just meant someone had the door to the outside trash cans open.
The same store also hourly played a recording of 2 separate voices saying "Security, please check section 3" over the loudspeaker. There was no security.
"We know..."
Worked at a dentist for a few years. We know when you've completely neglected your oral hygiene for the past six months and tried to fool us by flossing five minutes before you walk in the door. We might not say it, but we know.
"Ask for an employee..."
Ask for an employee to run an analysis of your wireless phone bill. Ended up saving my parents $45 a month.
The Absolute Weirdest Questions People Have Been Asked In A Job Interview
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked: 'What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?'
I once burst out laughing during a job interview.
It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.
What cracked me up?
This interview question:
"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"
After I stopped laughing,
I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:
"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."
The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?
Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked:
"What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?"
Apple Jacks Is Even Better
"Went to a job interview at Applebee’s. After going over my extensive work experience in the service industry, the manager asked:"
"If you were a cereal, which one would you be?"
"Me: 'Mm, I don’t know. Cheerios?'."
"Him: 'Why Cheerios?'."
"Me: '…because I seem like a Cheerio kinda person?'."
"Him: 'Hmm. Most people say Fruit Loops, because they’re fun and colorful'."
"Me: 😐"
"I did not get the job."
~ Numerous_Age_3223
The Best Medicine
"Do you like to laugh?"
"Asked by the most stoic woman who worked in that office."
"I laughed in response and got the job. Apparently I answered correctly."
~ Danceinthepurplerain
Wut?
"Well, I already know your weaknesses. What are some of your strengths?"
"I had no idea what he was talking about since we never discussed weaknesses."
~ JoshuaByer
No, And Goodbye
"I was asked at an interview if I planned on having kids soon."
"I answered that I was 19 and still living with my parents so, no, I wasn’t but based off him asking that question I didn’t want to work for him and cut the interview short."
"He seemed entirely shocked but I could tell he was asking out of misogyny and not any other reason."
"He was an arse and I’d already decided I didn’t want the job—this was just an excuse to cut the interview short."
~ Chinateapott
"It was 2 guys interviewing me for an ICU RN job. I am female and this was several years ago."
"Their very FIRST question was 'So are you married? Have any kids?'.”
"Which yeah, is maybe small talk, but you can’t ask that in an interview and it’s not your business and why is that the VERY FIRST THING you are saying to me upon meeting me‽‽"
"I said 'Come on, you know you can’t ask that kind of stuff'."
"It was awkward after that and I didn’t get a call back."
~ Free-While-2994
"I was asked in an interview if I had any children. The guy even lamented he knows he isn't supposed to ask me that, but the hours are very strict and people use their kids as an excuse too often to not work their full hours."
"Little Miss Helpful that I was told him then that's how he should phrase the question so as not to appear discriminatory towards women. He looked surprised as I gave him a better script example."
"And then proceeded to answer the more PC version of the question I created and told him, 'I don't have any obligations that would keep me from working the hours and shifts I'd be scheduled for'."
"I was not given a job offer. No surprise there."
"Which was fine and dandy because I wouldn't have wanted to work there anyway for a variety of reasons."
~ NolaJen1120
Were They Applying At X?
"I had an interview where the CEO randomly sat in."
"When he learned about my heritage, the CEO asked what my views were about the current government of the country my parents are from."
"Even the main interviewer cringed and was speechless."
~ Craptardo
Gotcha!
"Interviewer: 'You don't have any kids?'."
"Me: 'No, not yet'."
"Interviewer: 'You're Mexican, aren't you?'."
"Me: 'You can't ask that during an interview'."
"Dude went bright red and apologized immediately before I burst out laughing. The interview was going well and I already had the job in the bag. At this point we were more or less just chatting."
~ messonamission
Is It A Job Requirement?
"If I hire you as the HR manager will you go and f*ck all the nurses? Because that is what the former HR manager did."
"Interviewer was the Hospital CEO."
~ heartofgold48
Run, Girl, Run!
"I got hired and quit the same day. I turned 19 and was looking for something full time. I got a call for an interview at some promotion business."
"I got called into a room where my potential new boss was sitting. He was very friendly and nice but it all became very very weird very quickly."
"He asked me normal interview questions: 'What made you want to apply? Do you have experience in promotion work? Where do you see yourself in this company?'."
"Eventually he trailed off to make small talk which would be normal if it wasn’t weird."
"He asked, 'How old are you? Oh wow, you’re young. I think you’ll have an easy time here, you’re very beautiful. Very beautiful. You know, as soon as you walked in here I just felt something. You have such strong energy, I don’t know if it’s that smile or your charisma'."
"I was very shy, I did not have a bubbly personality at all."
"He sent me 'out in the field' alongside another girl to test the waters I suppose. We stood in front of a well known bar where our 'mentor' told us that the promotion at his stand was to sell backpacks for kids in need of school supplies."
"After he explained that, he called my boss and said I was a good fit."
"Immediately after that my boss called and was like, 'I KNEW you had it in you. Ahh, I don’t know what it is about you, [my name] but you just have something amazing going on. I already decided not to go with [other girl's name] because it’s your name I want to see with mine'.”
"I told him I was late for class and sped back to campus where I told my teacher why I was late and what had happened. He advised me to quit immediately."
~ Advanced_District789
Not A Nanny
"What would you do if someone started shouting at you in a meeting?"
"I responded that I'd just leave the meeting. I don't get paid to babysit. if someone wants to act like a child I'll leave them to it. The interviewer seemed taken aback while the other guys where chuckled."
"Turns out the guy who asked the question had a habit of raising his voice to people who disagreed with him."
"I ended up getting the job and found out the guy was just super invested in the product he was developing. Like he had patents on it, books written, etc..."
"So when he's in a meeting and gives an input, and someone disagrees with him, he will not let it go until they are on board because in almost every case he IS right. He was a great guy and I miss working with him."
"He never raised his voice with me, though."
~ shaidyn
Just Plain Wrong
"During an interview my insulin pump went off (it does this quite often). My potential boss asked me if I had to wear it all the time."
"I said yes and explained I was a type 1 diabetic. They then asked me if I could leave my insulin pump in a locker for an 8 hour shift."
"Obviously I can’t."
"It got awkward and I didn’t get the job."
~ kayguy55
Not Long Ago, In An HR Office Not Far Away...
"My GF was recently asked in an interview:"
"What weapon would you want to have in a zombie apocalypse?"
"She answered 'light saber'. They asked why."
"She said because it doesn't run out of ammo or get dull."
"They seemed to like that answer."
~ freezingprocess
Did They Need Help With Theirs?
"How do you tie your shoes?”
"Opening question."
"It honestly helped calm me down and made the interview easier to get through. I brought up the TedTalk on how to properly tie your shoe and the lesson I learned from that."
~ i_like_pretzels
"They really wanted help figuring it out, all the other applicants couldn't teach them."
~ Just-Good-2851
I was the interviewer at different points in my career and I'm struggling to understand the point of some of these questions.
Maybe their lack of purpose is the point.
So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have you been asked?
Gifts People Really Want For Christmas But Know No One Is Going To Get Them
The holiday season is lovely, but it's full of pressure to travel, plan, host, and of course, get gifts for a lot of people.
But the thing we don't really talk about is how common it is to want something specific and to not have someone in our life who tries to seek out what that thing is.
Unless we get it for ourselves, it's common that we won't get what we actually want.
Redditor GeneralSpectatorTots asked:
"What do you want for Christmas that you know you aren't going to get?"
Sobriety
"My brother to be sober and happy."
- whatwhatwhat82
"I’m also trying to get sober. I wish your brother well. Keep being a support to him."
- Keri2816
A New Home
"A house deposit."
- WolfGirl_4
"A house deposit? Just gift you a house!"
- Grenflik
A Financial Advantage
"A winning lottery ticket."
- Krem541
"Every year I ask Santa. Every f**king year."
- kuchikopi626
Grandma's Homecooked Meals
"One last meal from my grandma. She made the best food, and of course, you don't know the last time is going to be the last time until it's too late."
- fakefishy
Family Love
"Love from my parents."
- bub_501
"This mom is sending you a long hug."
- hippocampus237
A Professional Massage
"A gift certificate for a professional massage. I can't bring myself to spend the money on myself. I need to just bite the bullet and do it."
"I have asked for one every year for years. Sometimes it's the only thing I ask for from my parents and my partner (when they ask what I want)."
"I always get wonderful gifts that I love, use, and/or needed but I REALLY WANT A F**KING MASSAGE."
- agbmom
The Best Neighbor
"A card from my twin brother saying, 'Just kidding, I’m not moving to Washington, I actually found a place in your neighborhood!'"
- insertcaffeine
Very Important Things
"Free Healthcare and a good used car for my husband."
- Sufficient_Letter883
The End to Ableism
"Independence and not being infantilized because I’m a 37-year-old disabled woman and no one in my family understands (extended family who all live within 10 mins of me)."
- Keri2816
World Travel
"Guilt-free travel! It's like asking for a never-ending vacation. How I wish I could just hop around the world without worrying about a thing!"
- KayleNewirk
Sounds Like Paradise
"A pretty, and big apartment for me and my cat."
- cats-autumn
"For my cat to let me sleep through the night."
- Cheese_BasedLifeform
Moving Solutions
"A stress-free move, with eight days between closings of two houses four states apart, and four pets to manage in temporary housing. Help me, Santa, I’ve been a good girl."
- Kind-Dust7441
Ready To Be Done!
"For my doctoral capstone paper to finally be approved so I can be done with school! Please, please, Santa, I’m on rewrite 19!"
- TomatilloNo4213
Two Front Teeth
"My two front teeth... My two front teeth."
"But seriously, teeth."
"Mine are all falling out due to an autoimmune disease, and I need implants."
- donkeybrainz13
The Perfect Partner
"A partner to go on adventures with… have singalongs with… and who adores and truly sees me."
- miaoouu
While we may have been expecting some silly responses, or even for someone to finally buy the right brand of a favorite candle or lotion or makeup, these responses were a great reminder of what's really important.
And unfortunately, many of the most important things can't be replaced or fit into a Christmas stocking.
Breaking up is hard to do no matter who initiated it.
But once time has passed and exes have moved on, the healing process can be jarred by a surprise.
A regretfilled person may try and make contact with the one they broke up with and ask for forgiveness, or the person who had their heart broken could also reappear and plead for a fresh new start.
The outcome depends on how much, or how little, the spark of love remains.
Curious to hear more of this scenario from strangers online, Redditor XenaVonKeksdose asked:
"What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?"
For these Redditors, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.
Either, Or
"It ranges from 'come on in and make yourself comfortable' to 'get the f'k out of here' , depending on which one shows up."
– Lone_Buck
"Odds of it being the one who got away: low."
"Odds of it being the one who took 5 years to understand what 'f'k off' meant: pretty high."
– liquid_acid-OG
It's A Nightmare
"Screaming. They've passed."
– BigGrayBeast
"Similar situation here. I did have a dream that my late wife showed up at my door. She said, 'There was a mix up at the coroner, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”'
"Still in the dream we talked for a bit about nothing. Then I said, 'Wait, what about the life insurance, do we have to pay it back?' And just after that I woke up."
– AnonEMoussie
No Thanks
"Nah"
"Slowly closes the door while maintaining eye contact."
"Also aggressively locks the door."
– SnooCats7666
"raises drawbridge."
– lunalives
Some would show traces of resentment.
Unwelcome
"The f'k do you want? And how did you get this address?"
– s73v3m4nn
"wtf ffs"
– zxr7
Too Little Too Late
"You couldn't put in effort in messaging me, but you have effort now to see me months after we break up‽"
– ShyTerraWolf
"Wait, if you’re here who’s running hell?”
– So__bored
"Who’s guarding HADES."
– Boostio_TV
Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
"I lost weight... You seem to have found it."
– elmo-1959
"now get the f'k off my lawn."
– starkresilient
"Savage."
– 20190229
Others shared less bitter responses.
Coming Clean
"Honestly, I apologize. I know dealing with my prior alcoholism must have been a nightmare. I regret causing you and anyone else pain and hope you are happy. I am a year into sobriety and can understand why it ended. I wish you well."
"Edit: Since this is getting so much traction, I just want to say thanks for all the support. This could honestly be directed at a few of my exes. I am happily married now to someone that also got a taste of my drinking. We stuck it out while I got sober and I have to credit her with being an amazing support system. I also need to shout out r/stopdrinking for providing reinforcement on a daily basis. It is a great community. Naltrexone was also a major part of it. I can't change the past but I think I have a much better hold on the future."
– vivazeta
Someone That I Used To Know
"I've been married for almost 25 years, I don't know if I would even recognize any exes."
– 4a4a
"Yep. That person went from 'ex' to 'someone I once dated' years ago."
– ktwhite42
Expressing Regrets
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
– warlordwinters
"Good on you for growing."
– Zealousideal_Ad_7465
Catching Up
"I’d say hello! What are you doing here? It has been a long time."
– ExaminationLucky6082
Wish You Well
"A lot of snarky or comical answers in here, but I'll try to be as sincere as I can."
"My first major ex, first time I got my heart broken: I would sincerely hope that she's doing well. She broke my heart, but it was for the best and it made me into the man I am today. I don't want to think of how much worse I would be if she hadn't given me a reality check wake-up-call. So really just 'Hey, how have you been? I hope the years have been kind to you.'"
"My most recent ex, the first and only time I've had to break someone's heart: I honestly just hope that she can forgive me for having to make taking care of myself and my needs the priority in my life. She's an amazing woman, kindergarten school teacher, unanimously adored by everyone that meets her. But we met via travels, and lived in two different states. Circumstances shifted and seeing each other became much less frequent. Neither of us wanted to quit our jobs and chuck a grenade into our lives and careers. Eventually, for my own mental and emotional health, I had to call it. I truly hope she finds someone amazing, she deserves it. So I would just sincerely hope that she understands, and has moved on."
– obaterista93
I once showed up at an exes door after I broke up with him about a month prior.
I genuinely loved and missed him after making the very difficult decision to end things due to conflicting circumstances that kept us from maintaining a healthy relationship.
But I quickly learned that if you did the breaking up, you should respect the other person's space for a respectable amount of time.
I went to visit him at the apartment where we lived together and a new lover answered the door for him after there was a long period of giggles and lots of feet shuffling from behind the door.
Clearly, he was doing just fine.
Of course, I wasn't welcomed in and was asked what I wanted, to which I had no answer but, "do you have any mail for me?"
Indigenous Americans Share Their Tribe's Best Ghost Stories And Legends
People the world over develop their own specific folklore, heavily influenced by the natural world around them and their own culture.
The North American continent was no different.
Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH wanted to know about the myths and legends of the Indigenous peoples of North America.
They asked:
"Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?"
Here are some of the interesting legends and superstitions of North America's First Nations and Indigenous tribes.
Uktena
Brice Cooper on Unsplash
"Uktena. It's a legend about a horned snake in Tsalagi [Cherokee] legend. Uktena is said to be very large and round like a tree trunk, with horns on his head."
"The only way to wound him is to shoot at a singular spot on his forehead that emits bright light. It's similar to a diamond. If you defeat Uktena, you become a miracle worker."
"A great warrior. Yet, once you see the light of his forehead, you run toward it instead of trying to escape."
"Even to see Uktena sleeping is death. Not to the hunter, but to his family."
~ Faith-Hope-TacoBell
Dog Tails or Why They Sniff Each Other
gotdaflow on Unsplash
"Lenni Lenape story about why dogs sniff each other's butts."
"When the humans slept, dogs would get together and party, but not before taking their tails off. They'd dance the entire night, put their tails back on and return home."
"But one time a wolf found them and all the dogs had to scramble away to their homes for safety, but a lot of them grabbed the wrong tail."
"They never danced again at night because they were afraid of the wolf, so they were stuck with weird mismatched tails for the rest of their lives."
"This is the reason that dogs sniff each other's butts; to see if the other dog has their tail."
~ ChurroChick
Haida Raven Brings Light to the Earth
Cristina Glebova on Unsplash
"In the beginning there was no light in the world, because an old magician kept it hidden in a box inside his house. Raven, who was always hungry, didn't like the darkness because it was difficult to find food."
"One day he was looking for food near the old magician's house. He heard a voice saying, 'I have a box, and inside this box is another box, and inside this there is another box, and inside the smallest box is all the light in the world'."
"Raven decided to steal the light."
"Raven waited until the old man's daughter went down to the river to collect water. Just as she was dipping her basket into the river, he changed himself into a hemlock needle."
"The needle floated into her basket. When the girl drank some water, she swallowed Raven too."
"Inside the girl's belly Raven took the form of a human baby. He grew and grew, and in time she gave birth to a funny looking child with black eyes and a big nose."
"The old man loved his grandson so much that he gave in to the child's every wish. Raven became spoilt and greedy. He was bored with all his toys, and wanted to play with the box that held the light."
"Finally the grandfather opened the box and tossed the glowing ball of light to Raven."
"As soon as Raven caught the light, he immediately changed into his bird form. Holding the light in his beak, he flew up the chimney hole into the dark world."
"The magician was angry. He wanted to get the light back into his box."
"He flew after Raven."
"The light was heavy in Raven's beak, and he was getting tired. The magician was coming closer."
"Raven broke off some pieces of the light and threw them into the sky. They became the stars."
"The magician was still coming closer, so Raven broke off another piece of the light and threw it into the sky. It became the moon."
"Finally Raven became so tired that he tossed the last and biggest piece of the light into the sky. It became the sun; and that is how daylight came to the world."
~ deviety
Nakani
Oliver Roos on Unsplash
"Dené from northern British Columbia here, my mom used to always tell me stories of the Nehgunni [Nakani], or bushmen/wild-men when I was young."
"They were people who lived in the forest and took away people who wandered too far out, specifically children."
"I always figured these stories were created by my people to serve two purposes, first to teach young children to not wander far off, and second to give explanations to kidnappings or missing people."
~ spanishLION
See-at-coh
green trees near lake under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Jasper Gronewold on Unsplash"See-at-coh (don't know the translation in English) is a Cowlitz legend. Lived at this lake and it was his spot."
"We DO NOT go there or he will kill you. Used to have nightmares about him based on what I was taught as a kid."
"Like how you could stand at the edge of the water and be looking in and he would come out of it and just grab you. No whistling at night and keep windows covered."
"But then the mountain blew up [Mt. Saint Helen] and filled in the lake so don't know if he's still around or not."
~ kalimah1
Nahual of Mexico
Joshua Wilking on Unsplash
"I live in rural Mexico. There are many, many different Indigenous peoples in what's now Mexico."
"The ones who settled here speak Nahuatl—the language of the Aztecs. This legend took place in the early 1900's."
"One of my favourite Nahuatl myths is the Nahual."
"Some people were thought to be able to turn into an animal. Most of them could only turn into one, but the most powerful Nahual could turn into different animals."
"There was a man who owned a hacienda where my town is, and he had a sort of overseer that everyone was afraid of."
"Said overseer could take a message all the way to the next state (think hundreds of miles) and bring back a sealed response in a single day."
"He also seemed to know everything everyone did, all the time. He was rumoured to be a Nahual that could turn into a coyote and an eagle."
"His quarters were heavily warded in his absence, which only added fuel to the rumor. You can only kill a Nahual if you find the human skin he sheds to transform and burn said skin."
~ CTalina78
Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha
Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
"Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha—the giant twins [of the Dené]."
"There are landmarks all around the territory I live in that is exhibited as 'proof' they were alive."
"In the middle of the Mackenzie river( biggest river in the NorthWest Territories) there is a large stone sticking out of the river which looks like the petrified guts of a beaver, there is a giant branchless, leafless tree sticking out of the top of this stone."
"It is said that Yamǫǫ̀zha had hunted a giant beaver and gutted him there in the river. He used his spear to anchor down the cuts so fish may feed on them. They are still there to this day."
"Yamǫ́rıa's body can be seen laying down, it is essentially a mountain range that looks like a giant human laying on his back, completely with face and feet. This can be seen from the peak of the hill as you enter a town called Ft. Liard, the southwestern most town in the NWT."
Walking Sam of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Boston Public Library on Unsplash
"'Walking Sam' skulks in the shadows of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and convinces people to take their own lives, especially young people."
"He's 7 feet tall, very thin and has no mouth. When he stretches out his long arms, nooses hang down with Lakota children hanging from them."
"Walking Sam finds you when you're alone and puts thoughts in your head until you feel worthless and kill yourself.
"Sometimes Walking Sam is depicted looking like Abraham Lincoln, complete with the stovepipe hat. 'Walking Sam', 'Uncle Sam', I don't know if that's where the name came from."
"But Walking Sam is an evil infected upon the people when the Oceti Sakowin were forced onto the reservations; he isn't a legend of the people before Pine Ridge Reservation existed."
"Lincoln was President when the Lakota were being forced onto reservations. Lincoln also ordered the execution of 38 Lakota men the day after Christmas in 1862. It's the largest mass execution in U.S. history."
"I always thought Walking Sam was Lincoln. They carved his face onto Ŝa´kpe Tuŋkaŋŝi (Mount Rushmore was called Six Grandfathers) in the Paha Sa´pa (Black Hills)
"My Father attended Holy Rosary boarding school at Pine Ridge in the 1940s & 1950s, but our people didn't live on the reservation. My Grandmother said evil stalked the people there."
"My Father never wanted us to ever even visit any of our cousins or his Uncles there."
~ LakotaGrl
Este Lopocke or Este Lubutke
Morgane Perraud on Unsplash
"Miccosukee [Seminole] tribal member here (South Florida) and for us it's the little people."
"Essentially really small people (like barbie doll sized and smaller) that live in the trees. They play jokes and stuff mainly, unless you piss them off."
"Had family members get tricks played on them that couldn't be explained."
"And then we have our fair share of stories that circulate our reservation like a tribal member being taken by the little people."
"All on the reservation in the Everglades (like 40 mins west of Miami)."
~ SSBMBabyCakes
Haudenosaunee Rules
Chris Chow on Unsplash
"I know the Haudenosaunee [Iroquois Confederacy] rules."
"1. If you hear someone you know calling your name, but you also know they are not supposed to be there, DON'T respond. Especially if they are out of sight and insisting you come to them."
"2. Always play group games in counter-clockwise order, otherwise your playing with the dead."
"3. Also don't eat in the dark, this is considered inviting the dead to eat with you. If you can extend your hand all the way out and still see it clearly then your fine."
"4. Don't play card games past midnight. If you do, and someone knocks at the door, don't answer it."
"5. Try not to drop your cards, if you do then don't bend down to pick them up, or you will see hooves under the table. That's bad."
"6. Say thank you after meals, even if you're the one that made it. Even better if you say it in native tongue."
"7. If someone finishes their meal and says thank you, you say 'you're welcome', even if you didn't give it to them. Even better in native tongue."
"8. After someone dies, you should gather family as quickly as possible to have feasts for 10 days. The first dinner is large, then every meal after that is a smaller feast meant for portions of the family to come at different times to help.
"The last feast on the 10th day is the closing dinner, which is the largest, with the entire family expected to show up and help. For every meal of these 10 days, put out a plate of the deceased's favorite foods first."
"Contrary to rule 6, you do not say thank you at any time during these 10 days. This is because it is believed that it takes the dead 10 days to relive their lives before they pass on, so this is your last chance to eat with them."
"Saying 'Thank you' during this time will make them stop before they're done because you're saying you're done. This will have bad consequences."
"9. Don't try to contact spirits, especially with board games. This is not a tribe custom, it's more of an unspoken common sense among the Rez people."
"10. If a bird flies into your house, someone's going to die."
"11. Pregnant woman should not hold any child that isn't theirs."
"12. It's accepted that if you actually try to curse someone, literally going through all of the steps with the intention of harm, not accidentally wishing them bad luck, then your family will also be cursed horribly."
"13. If you play with fire you'll wet the bed."
~ kinda-always-hungry
To learn more general information about Indigenous mythology of the United States, visit the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian website.
For Canada, visit the First Nations in Canada website.
For information about specific tribes, visit their tribal government website for recommended resources.