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People Divulge Their Funnest 'Nope, I'm Out' Stories

People Divulge Their Funnest 'Nope, I'm Out' Stories
Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

How often do you rely on your intuition? Is your gut instinct spot on?

There are many scenarios we face in life where we make decisions based on knowledge or the experiences of others.

And while those are helpful indicators, there is something to be said about your internal siren sounding off at full blast, telling you to "abort" a situation.

Whether your gut warns you of an incompatible date, or a hazardous workplace environment, it's there for a reason that only you can know.

And ultimately it's up to you to ignore them or listen. Because in some cases, it could be a matter of life or death.

Redditor madocsherbrook asked strangers on the internet:

"What was your "I'm out" moment?"

The comments that followed highlight the experiences of people who averted potential disasters and had their guts to thank for it.

Furious Employer

"When my previous employer screamed at a co-worker for five minutes straight because she neglected to call some priority life insurance leads. We had third co-worker out on medical leave so this woman was taking care of two lead lists as well as acting as an unofficial assistant manager to the agency."

"When I say this woman was screaming, I mean it was the shrillest, highest pitch bat screech I had ever come out of a grown womans mouth. The windows literally shoot that's how many decibles she put out. It was one of those public freakout moments where I wished I had my phone recording the incident, but I was in so much shock that I didn't know what to do."

"I dusted off my resume and bounced about a month later. She accepted my three weeks notice, fired me on the spot, tried to steal my last commission check, and threatened me with corporate after I let her know I had my commission sheet already printed and would be pursuing a wage complaint with the state."

"BULLET. DODGED"

– Lyn1987

The Not-So-Open Relationship

"Very long story very short version. Ex wife and I were having severe marital troubles. She proposed an open relationship to try to fix it. (Pro tip dont do that). Anyway she started banging her friend the next day and it took me two months to finally find a girl willing to sleep with me. Girl and I had become good friends but the night I was going to go out with her to actually have sex my wife vetoed me as 'she wasnt ready for that step yet.'"

"I gritted my teeth but agreed. Life goes on for a couple more weeks and then one night I get a topless pic from the girl on my phone. I casually mention it to the wife."

"She EXPLODES, saying how inappropriate that is as that I need to cut off all contact with this girl someday. When I threw up her hypocrisy to her she told me she would CONSIDER stopping sleeping with her friend for awhile but she wasnt sure."

"I left the next day."

– 03throwaway03

Inevitable Bar Brawl

"Was at a bar one time when a group of guys came in screaming and arguing with another group. Slammed my beer and got the f**k out of there before I could see what happened next."

– Cubsfan630

Trucking Nightmare

"My first job was for a trucking company with a well-earned bad reputation for mistreating their drivers. I was one of those drivers."

"So, the way it works is that you go out for a number of days, and then you're supposed to be home for a few days after before going back out. This company had a 6 day out for every one day home situation, so basically one day of hometime earned a week."

"I would be out for 24 days and request 4 days hometime thereafter, as per the company policy, and always with roughly two weeks advanced notice. It would always get approved, but my dispatcher would find every excuse she could to keep me out for months at a time. I would call above her to get home, but that would inevitably lead to my paystubs being shorted significantly. I guess she had some connection to the pay department or something. I would always point it out to HR, but they would do nothing."

"I stopped working there after 6 months, having been home for a grand total of two weeks all the while, and having made well below minimum wage for my efforts. (Truckers are.exempt from a lot of laws pertaining to compensation, for the record.) But those six months were enough to find a better employer elsewhere. I placed out."

"So I have an 'Abandoned Equipment' charge on my DAC, because of that company. I had returned the truck, given the key to the company repairmen, and cleaned my things out of it. They had already assigned a new driver to take that very truck by the time I left. That was over half a decade ago, and I hope that poor bastard found something better."

– robexib

Extremely Passionate Sports Fans

"I was taking the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh one late evening. Apparently Celtics had played Rangers that same evening. This became evident when some fans of both teams, maybe 15 guys in total, were fighting and throwing glass bottles of alcohol at each other and the train both on the platform and inside the carriage. I had been sitting near the doors but I moved as far back in the carriage as I could, hiding and crouched way down so as to not be hit by the flying bits of glass. I was ready to get tf off that train but most of the fans got off the train at the very next station and the next train was unlikely to be any better, so I stayed. Since then I always check to make sure the derby isn't on before I visit or travel through Glasgow."

"This isn't to say that every fan of either of those teams are hooligans or that other teams don't have hooligans, I know that's not the case and there were fans of both teams who were completely innocent and were just wanting to travel home in peace like everybody else."

– miasabine

"Toxic Work Environment"

"A job I had a few years ago. Someone rammed my car in a parking lot. So I let my boss know, and went to the police station to file a report for the insurance. My boss didn't ask if I'm okay, he only phoned later on, to find out what is taking so long. I left that company soon after. It was a very toxic work environment."

– Tiurpslen

im out GIFGiphy

No More Games

"I was volunteering on a website writing game guides. When the owner of the site, who I've known for a while, (we were in different countries though) hinted that if he knew one of us in person, he could have us beaten half to death in the middle of the street and no one would stop him. All over a friend of mine declining to provide game info any more. I ghosted him and the entire site instantly."

– Amidormi

Workplace Hazard

"I was working in a warehouse, and we had a load of heavy duty racking delivered from sime dodgy contact (honestly, knowing this place it was probably stolen). It came on a soft sided wagon, and I could tell by the way it was bulging that the load wasn't propey secured and had shifted during transit."

"I told him it wasn't safe to unload from the side, as the whole lot was likely to fall on someone, and that we had better handball it out the back door, which would be safer but take a little longer. He disagreed and called me a p*ssy, then we got into an argument and I handed in my notice."

"I found out from a friend later that night that the load collapsed on someone during unloading and broke his leg in two places."

– PrudentFlamingo

A Manipulative Business Strategy

"When a friend from high school invited me to a 'work event,' and I'm sure you all can see where this is going."

"As soon as I entered the place I saw a lot of clueless people and two giant posters with planes, luxurious landscapes and smiling girls. Noped out before they could get any of my info for the MLM."

"Later me and another friend tried to convince her to leave the business, but she wouldn't listen. Lost a lot of money. She finally got out when they started insisting on making more people join by lying to them and saying she'd been making money, so that speaks good of her. She had just been desperate I guess."

– sanguchitostriples2

Full Bladder

"Back in high school I left class to go to the bathroom. I was booking it because I really had to go, but then I notice there's a whole group of freshman boys crowding around the entrance to the girls bathroom trying to dare each other to go in. I turned right the hell around. I had to walk all the way to the other end of campus just to get to the other girls bathroom. F'king freshman."

– SquilliamFancySon95

Extreme Boredom

"I had this job that paid well but I absolutely hated it due to sheer boredom. I was sent across the country for training which included a meet and greet with the CEO of this Fortune 100 company on the second day. After the first day surrounded by a bunch of snivelling brown-nosers, I spent the night wide awake thinking about how much I hated the job. I drafted an email to my boss saying I was quitting immediately with zero notice, checked out of hotel, drove to the airport, and booked a return flight. I never went back. I didn't just burn that bridge, I friggin' blew it up."

– kaptain_kangarooo

The Violent Business Owner

"My boss asked me to empty the wastebaskets when I closed up the store (a small art supply shop in a very small town). It was very dark when the store closed, and the trash bins were across a parking lot that was not well-lit, and there had been some bad stuff going on in the neighborhood. I decided to come in early the next morning to empty them."

"Came in half an hour before the store opened, unlocked the front door, walked in and a flying wastebasket missed my face by inches. My boss was standing there in a rage, smelling like booze, yelling at me for failing to empty the bin."

"I said, 'I quit' and walked out. I loved that store and the customers, but hated the owner. Every job after that was better, so..."

– cat9tail

Church And Greed

"Pastor of the church asked me & my (then) husband if we would consider refinancing our home and 'donating' the equity to the church to help build a new facility with his 'dream basketball court' .. er for the youth."

"He ended up convincing several families to 'donate' their equity, and my ex was furious with me for refusing. I told my ex he could keep the church in the divorce, but I sold him the house & took my share in cash."

"All of those people lost their money, and the building was never built. I put the money down on a new home & I'm very happy."

– cat9tail

Latenight Rush

"Server at Applebee's."

"Working late shift, with new manager who clearly is much better at bartending than managing."

"I got a 12 top (12 person table) at like 1 o clock (we closed at 2), and I am so not having it. Manager is like "I know man, I wouldn't be happy either, but I'll help you out"

"Does not help out. 20 minutes later, after getting them all drinks and getting their overly complicated orders in, I stop by the table and notice a few new faces."

"Apparently four more friends came in and joined the party, so I've now got a staggered order, trying to get more drinks from a bar that is about to close, more food from a kitchen that is about to close, and manager is doing anything else but help."

"I finished the table (forty minutes past close), not even started on my side work and closing tasks, I cash out the 7 tickets of this table, because of course they've gotta make it difficult and not even sit together."

"I collect my sh*tty tips, count out the money I owe the restaurant, pay out, and say "alright it's been good, I quit." - Reddit

Sayonara

"Working for a company in an entry-level position for 7 years, small department, only like 20 people. Got passed over for a major promotion that I was clearly the most qualified for. When the manager (whom I’ve been working for for all 7 years) called to tell me I didn’t get the job, she called me by the wrong name. She’s never got my name right; it’s a very common name. Those two things together are enough for me to say sayonara!" - Bobhi_luv

Sometimes you just have to know when to go! Trust your gut, dodge those bullets like Neo, and live to fight another day.

Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

quitting

People Confess How They'd React If Their Significant Other Proposed A Threesome

A Redditor asked: 'How would your SO react if you proposed a 3some?'

Black and white picture of two people kissing
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

No two couples have the same feelings towards sex.

For some, it's just a nice possibility, something they know they can always enjoy, but never feel particularly eager to do.

For other couples, saying their sex life is "active" would be the understatement of the century.

Then there are those who like to be a little more adventurous, exploring things to either spice things up, or possibly broaden their horizons.

This might include asking a third to join them.

Sometimes however, while one member of the couple is eager to give this a try, the other might not feel as inclined, and might even find themselves appalled at the very idea.

Redditor F*ckaught was curious to hear how people's partners might react at the suggestion of inviting a third member to join them in the bedroom, leading them to ask:

Asked And Answered

"She said no."- AtrumAequitas

Nice Try

"I asked."

"She said 'alright, go find someone'."

"She called my bluff."

"She knows I won't go out and socialize, let alone as for a threesome."- LuluTheNightshade

A Rock And A Hard Place... (Head Out Of Gutters People!)

"We already had that conversation."

"It got shelved because I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it with a stranger, and she didn’t feel comfortable doing it with someone we knew."

"Without any possible middle ground, there was just no way it was going to happen."- Qyro

Decide One Of Us GIF by Challengers MovieGiphy

Just Not Worth The Risk

"I'd find myself in a 1some real fast."- Apprehensive-Care20z

The Bed's Already Too Crowded...

"She dislikes 2 somes so not well."- AccomplishedBat8731

Depends On The Third...

"She would say, 'with another guy?' and that would end the conversation pretty fast."- AC_Lerock

gay GIFGiphy

Eerily Specific...

"She would ask me if my best friend Thomas can join us."- petitbatte

Ouch!

“'Oh, you wanna disappoint two women at once?'”- driago

When There's A Partner To Ask...

"My right hand would be very offended if I tried to bring my left hand into this."- Tropical_Penis123

Lonely Loser GIF by TravisGiphy

A Little Too Excited?

"She'd probably open the door and let her 'just-a-friend' in seconds after I proposed the 3some."- ToastMaster_404

One And Only

"She'd cry at the fact that I'd want to touch another woman."

"Things definitely wouldn't be the same and honestly I'm happy just banging her."- Vivid_Ad1127

"Same thing I would say if she asked me, 'I love you and I can share most things, but not you'."- mmastrocinque

Dance Love GIF by TRTGiphy

Only Three?

"'We have foursomes at home'."- chubberbrother

Absolutely Not

"I am sure she would be heartbroken and cry nonstop."- Reddit

FOMO?

"She’d tell me she’d ask the fellas if I could be in the next one."- Listening_Heads

marilyn monroe hollywood GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Some might say everything's worth a try, at least once.

Others know not to mess with something that is perfectly fine as it is.


threesome

Things People Have Learned Never To F**k Around With

A sign stating "DANGER. DO NOT ENTER" sits in a wooded area
Photo by Raúl Nájera

There are just some things in life one does not mess around with.

Yet so many people do.

Don't eat laundry detergent.

Don't drive drunk.

Don't say Bloody Mary in the mirror.

All of these things can bring life-altering results many of us are not prepared for.

Life is a game of survival.

And sometimes it's pretty easy to stay the course.

A warning is a warning for a reason.

Keep reading...Show less
life lessons

People Explain Which Dark Family Secrets They Were Finally Let In On

Woman trying to process shocking news
Photo by Sherise Van Dyk on Unsplash

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, True Crime Cases

We've likely all had a really good friend or close family member whom we felt we could share all of our biggest dreams and deepest, darkest secrets with. But truth be told, most of those deep, dark secrets were having a crush on the "bad boy" at school or cheating on a math test in sixth grade.

Some families have genuinely dark and troubling secrets, the stuff from true crime stories and the best psychological thriller fiction, and upon being revealed these secrets, it might become hard to ever look at the family quite the same way again.

Bracing themselves, Redditor EgglessYolk asked:

"What dark family secret were you let in on once you were old enough?"

Not the Best Sledding Day Ever

"My paternal grandmother had an affair with our small town’s mortician in the 1940s. She got pregnant and he performed an illegal abortion. The fetus was buried behind the funeral home he owned where we kids used to sled every winter."

"My dad told me this as I was getting ready to take a ride down the hill on the sled when I was 12."

"Also, my paternal grandfather had multiple illegitimate children around our small town. Turns out one of my best friends was also my half-cousin. My father told me that when I was 17."

"My father was educated, intelligent, honest, and moral, but also Autistic and not always the best with timing. The fact that his parents were so wild was absolutely shocking to me."

- arjacks

Wonderful Bonus Brothers

"I found out when I was in my early 30s that my mom didn't just have four kids, but actually six, though she gave two up for adoption before I was born."

"Also, I was the last baby she had with some rando before she married my stepdad and she had intended to give me up for adoption, as well, but somehow kept me."

"The silver lining? One of the babies she gave up contacted her a few years after I learned about this and now I have an awesome new brother!"

- Pandora1685

A Terrible Family History

"1. My grandfather killed his own son by throwing him on the floor because he was crying (he was just a couple of months old)."

"2. My uncle tried to rob a bank and ran away on foot. He later got married and his wife ended up committing suicide. At the time, the police thought that my uncle killed her since he had a criminal past, but he didn't (he was at work and there were witnesses)."

"3. I have multiple half-siblings (my dad was, and is, unfaithful)."

"4. My grandfather burnt the house down with his wife and children inside with the intention of them dying. My grandmother ran away with her seven or eight children, I don't recall, and she asked a priest that she worked for (she cleaned his house) to give her a space to stay, and he ended up giving her a home that an old lady left for the church (and if I'm not mistaken, she was paying it off little by little)."

"5. My aunt's neighbor (who I went to the beach with when I was little) apparently killed his own wife abroad."

"6. There was a rumor that my uncle's kids weren't his."

- _leticia_

A Tragic Family Tree

"My grandpa (15) kidnapped my grandma (14) from a convent. No one even bothered looking for her thereafter because she was an orphan and didn't even know who her family was. They had 16 children together."

- afa78

An Assisted Ending

"My extremely wealthy uncle was going downhill quickly with Alzheimer’s. Before he was too far gone, he apparently made a deal with my aunt that when things got the the point that they would have to send him to a nursing home, she would kill him instead."

"He wrote all of this in a letter and gave it to the attorney of their estate."

"When the time came, I don’t know why she chose to shoot him in the back of the head instead of something less violent, but she did."

"It was a pretty big trial with a fair bit of news coverage, and it really blew up when the lawyer testified and brought forward the letter. My aunt served like two years, I think, and was released on parole."

- Cannoli_Emma

"That's extremely sad but also really bada** of both of them. I'm sorry for everyone who was involved."

- tsunaminatpot

"It’s kinda insane that this even had to happen. If we lose control of our body, we should be able to say what we want and when."

"She was doing what he asked. I think most would if they could. Sad that she had to go to jail."

"End of life for a lot of people isn’t something they want but they’re forced to do it for the sake of everyone else."

- jazzhandsdancehands

A One Night Stand

"I found out when I was about 32 that apparently in 1973, my dad had a daughter he never knew existed."

"I found out because he texted that to me while I was working, after finding out about it himself about one week earlier. She was in her late 40s by that point, I think."

"What's sort of tragic is all this time we thought I was my dad's only kid, and he always wanted a daughter but never got one due to marriages ending. He would have f**king LOVED this girl. His daughter was the result of a one-night stand with a girl he never talked to again, and according to his daughter, the mother had a mental breakdown not long after giving birth and never really had custody of the daughter anyway."

"Dad never would have had any way to find out, the baby grew up with the mother's parents in another state, and the mother kinda went AWOL."

- ManicDigressive

A Disney Trip to (Not) Remember

"My parents took me to Disneyland for my seventh birthday. I recall landing, going to the park, and having a great first day or two."

"Then my parents had to step out and take a bunch of phone calls. They sounded very stressed. They kept telling me nothing happened and everything was okay."

"Eventually, we flew home, and surprise! We took an extra couple of days to go to a big Waterpark away from home."

"I fondly remembered this birthday and eventually forgot about any of the weirdness."

"Maybe 10 years later, my parents finally told me what happened. My uncle, my dad's brother, tried to kill himself on my seventh birthday. He shot himself in the stomach with a rifle. He was poor, addicted to drugs, no work, etc. He felt depressed my dad had the life he always wanted, so tried to kill himself."

"He ended up living. My parents took me to the Waterpark so that we didn't have to come home to him leaving the hospital. By not telling me, my parents let me keep my birthday as my day, not the day my uncle tried to die. Knowing how a seven-year-old's brain works, I probably would've thought I had something to do with it."

- No-Ice-9612

The Documentary in the Family

"My dad's first cousin is serial killer Kenneth McDuff. We saw the 'America's Most Wanted' episode when it aired and were so surprised to hear about another McDuff, not knowing he was a relative."

- lolabam3

"Google Search Result: 'McDuff was given three death sentences that were reduced to life imprisonment consequently to the 1972 U.S. Supreme Court ruling Furman v. Georgia. He was paroled in 1989 and went on to kill again. He was executed in 1998 and is suspected to have been responsible for many other killings.'"

"Jesus H. Ch**st, they f**king paroled him after he had been given three death sentences commuted to a life sentence?!"

- dcbluestar

The Motherly Figure

"My uncle was actually my cousin."

"He was kidnapped as an infant, and when he was returned a year later, my aunt didn't want him back. My grandparents adopted him so he was legally my uncle."

"My aunt was a real piece of work. To backtrack a moment, this side of my family isn't biological. Technically my dad is my step-dad, but he raised me from toddlerhood and he's my dad, pure and simple. All of his family treated me as one of their own."

"Except my aunt. She would always tell my grandparents that she just couldn't understand how they could love me, because I wasn't 'blood family.'"

"I have no idea why she didn't want her son back. It was a familial kidnapping, a non-custodial father. When my cousin was returned, she ditched him with my grandparents and got back together with her other half."

- EhlersDanlosSucks

23AndMe Discoveries

"I found out I had a sister who had been given up for adoption. The only reason I found out was the person who informed me no longer felt bound to secrecy after my mom died. And the person who told me had 'receipts' solid enough that I have no reason to doubt them."

"It also explains why mom freaked out when I told her I'd done a 23AndMe test."

- zombiemann

"23andMe is how my father discovered he had a bonus cousin. As it turns out, his uncle had a fling before leaving for WWII that resulted in a child he either never told anyone about or didn’t even know himself."

"When my father looked her, the cousin, up she happened to live in the same city. He and my aunts contacted her and all met up for lunch. Turns out the woman had been searching for years to find her father's side of family. As far as I know, they still keep in touch."

- pyroagg

Hidden in Plain Sight

"My grandfather had severely scarred legs from burns he got as a kid. Growing up, we were told that he was in a fire in an apartment building and sustained the burns while escaping. He died when I was seven, and one of my few memories of him is an image of those scarred legs."

"Well, when I was 23, my great aunt (his sister), told me that it wasn't a fire. Their father ran a bath with scalding water and put my grandfather in it as a punishment."

"My great-grandfather was an abusive alcoholic piece of s**t who f**king maimed his son."

- idksomeusername42

An Unhonorable Sword

"My mother grew up in the American South. Her brother died in his early 20's and she always told me it was a freak accident. A bullet came through the window killing him. They lived in a rural area so I never questioned it."

"One year, I inherited an old Korean War officer's sword after my grandpa passed. My mom freaked out and told me that it was too dangerous to keep and that we should sell it or get a safe to lock it up in. I thought it was weird so I asked my dad and he got this sad look on his face."

"Turns out my mom's brother was brutally murdered with a similar sword in the 80s. He had gotten involved with some drug dealers and they thought he had snitched about one of their big deals that got busted. No idea why they decided to use a sword but it was pretty f**ked up to hear about. My mom had to ID the body."

"I found this out when I was 16 but she never directly acknowledged it until years later. My mom said he was just trying to make some extra cash by introducing people who partied to the dealers. I'm about his age now and I can see how he just thought he was making a quick buck. Never thinking something like that would get him killed."

- plurperonipizza

The Miniature Farm

"When I was very young, my family lived in a townhouse, and against all local bylaws, my mother decided to keep a horse in our backyard."

"Not only that, but it was an ex-racehorse that came as a package deal: the goat companion that slept in the closet of my nursery."

"I also later found out she was running a grow-op in the basement."

- SlyGuy011

Inspiring Our Own Inner Glorias

"Y’all’s stories are WILD! Mine is super tame:"

"When I was in my early 20s, I found an old photo of someone in a family album I didn’t recognize."

"When I asked my mom about it, she said, 'Oh, that’s your Aunt Gloria.” Then she lowered her voice (even though we were alone) and added, 'She’s a NUDIST.'"

"Poor Aunt Gloria. She just wants to be a nudey-lady and everyone acts like she’s a leper."

- WithoutDennisNedry

"I aspire to be a Gloria."

- breadanudes

The Redditor who posted this marked it for "Serious Replies Only," and their fellow Redditors did not disappoint.

While some of these might have had a happy ending in a way, like a family expanding with "bonus" siblings and cousins, but some of these, it's hard to imagine moving past the news. It's a delicate reminder of how resilient humans can be.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

family secrets

People Break Down Their Funniest 'Sir, This Is A Wendy's' Experiences

Wendy's fast food restaurant sign
Photo by Siyuan Lin on Unsplash

Most of us have heard the "Sir, This is a a Wendy's" phrase, said in those moments when someone has said something totally inappropriate given the setting they are in.

And while some of these literally take place in a Wendy's or similar fast-food chain restaurants, these awkward moments can happen... pretty much anywhere.

Redditor deadmoby5 asked:

"What was your, 'Sir, this is a Wendy's,' moment?"

...Actually, This Is a McDonald's.

"I was working at McDonald’s and this lady said, 'Can I get the Wendy’s four-for-four?!'"

"I said, 'Ma’am, this is a McDonald’s.'"

"Without a moment's hesitation, she replied, 'Indeed it is, can I get a Big Mac?'"

- lukemercerrr

Someone Separated from Reality

"I had a guy come into my place of work yesterday p**sed off because he missed his payment date and had to pay extra to turn his phone back on."

"He said something along the lines of, 'It was due at midnight, and y’all aren’t open at midnight, so how was I supposed to pay?'"

"I calmly explained that we are open until 7:00 PM every day except Sunday."

"He screamed, 'Well, unlike you, I actually have a job!'"

"At my job."

"Whilst doing my job."

- lordgabe92again

An Office Mix-Up

​"I work for a CPA office that is in an office park with a couple of doctors' offices."

"One day, a guy came in only speaking Spanish, so I grabbed my Spanish-speaking colleague to translate. He talked to the guy in the lobby for a few minutes, and then the guy left, and my coworker came back and asked if that was a joke or if we put someone up to that."

"Apparently, the guy explained that his testicles were extremely swollen and painful, and he was looking for one of the doctors' offices and just walked into the first building in the complex."

"I'll never forget, he said, '...I’m like, sir, we do taxes here, not testicles.'"

- AlternativeAcademia

A Health Advocate

"I worked in a cell phone store that had a veterans support office behind us."

"One day, an older gentleman was waiting in the queue. When it was his turn, I called him up and asked what I could help him with."

"He stepped up to the counter and told me that the veteran's hospital was claiming his vision impairment was only 20% disability, and he felt it was much higher."

"I agreed, and I offered to walk him to the correct building, and told him I would be a witness for him, lol (laughing out loud)."

- fridaycat

The Deck of Entitlement

"I was in Lowes one morning right after they opened. There was a woman at the service desk having a complete meltdown down, yelling and screaming because Lowes didn't have a licensed contractor there at the store for her to hire."

"She apparently woke up that morning and decided she needed a deck, like, that same day, and thought she could just go to Lowes and have someone immediately start building a deck."

"It was dead so I stood with the cashier listening to the show. They ended up having to call the police to get her to leave."

- DasGoat

The Coca-Cola Theorist

"I've told this story tons of times to my friends and family because it's one of my favorite Domino's Stories. This happened somewhere around 2017-2018."

"One day, it was really slow at work at Domino's. I was still a relatively new Insider (only a few months into what would be about four years) and still in school, so I was hoping that it would stay slow so I could go home early, so I could cheat on my math homework, play some League of Legends, and get some sleep since my school started an hour earlier than other schools in the area."

"A woman, probably mid-40s, came in to order a pizza. She was pretty chill, and we were just chatting while she was ordering because there really wasn't much to do otherwise since we already cleaned the store and oven and all that."

"After she got her pizza all done up, I asked her if she would like any drinks."

"She was like, 'Oh, what do you guys have?'"

"I was running down the drink options and she noticed Coca-Cola and looked at me wide-eyed like she just saw someone get hit by a car."

"She said, 'DON'T YOU KNOW THEY PUT HUMAN EMBRYOS IN COKE?!'"

"...I'm sorry??'"

"She then spent the next SEVEN. MINUTES. Running down pretty much every major conspiracy, from human embryos in Coca-Cola to Flat Earth to the moon landing being faked, etc. If you think of a pre-pandemic conspiracy, she hit it."

"I was stunned. The only words that could come out of my mouth were, '...So no on the drink, then?'"

"She said brightly, 'Coke Zero, please.'"

"I guess the Zero means 'Zero Embryos.'"

- noblemile

Work That Connection

"I work in radio, and got a call on the contest line one time."

"'Yeah, I need a hotel room,' said the caller."

"'OK. How would you like me to help you?'"

"They said, 'Well... book me one!'"

"'You're aware you called a radio station's contest line, right?'"

"'Yeah. Don't you book hotel rooms for rock stars when they do a show in town? Book me one!'"

- originalchaosinabox

I Believe the Store You're Looking For is... Sephora.

"Not one specific moment, since it happened all the time when I worked at Ulta."

"She said, 'I'm looking for this lipstick,' and showed me a Sephora brand lipstick."

"I said, 'We don't sell that, but I can show you something similar!'"

"She was indignant. 'No, I want this specific lipstick, don't you sell it?! Well, where can I buy it?!'"

"I deadpanned, 'At Sephora, ma'am.'"

- Sunshine030209

A Misdirected Call

"I worked in a local cafe/newsstand/convenience store type spot. We also had a Ticketmaster outlet for a bit. Our small town had an annual concert that usually ran two or three nights. It was really popular with the local folks, so it brought in a lot of foot traffic with people buying tickets (my boss was honestly a small-business mastermind)."

"That was the extent of our involvement: we sold and printed gate passes."

"On night one of the event, I was closing the store as usual, at 10:00 PM."

"An irate woman called, wanting to 'file a noise complaint' about the concert."

"I was like, 'Ma’am, you must have the wrong number, this is a local cafe.'"

"She INSISTED that she was filing 'an official noise complaint' and demanded to speak to the owner RIGHT NOW."

"I said, 'At 10:00 PM on a Friday? Yeah, he’s not here.'"

"He also isn’t the police and doesn’t deal with noise complaints. Also, it’s only 10:00 PM, and this concert has been widely advertised for months."

"She then went on a wild rant that we needed to do… something?… about the noise, since we sold tickets. She wouldn’t let me off the call and was going berserk."

"I told her I was going to disconnect since we had nothing to do with the event or the noise."

"She called back multiple times, and finally I just let the phone ring… It was still ringing when we locked up. Like, MA’AM, ARE YOU OKAY?"

- Swimming-trifle-899

In Search of the Mystical Dairy King

"I worked at Dairy Queen about ten years ago, and a customer pulled up to our very busy drive-thru."

"Customer: 'Yeah, can I have the 10 nuggets for $1.49?'"

"Me: 'I’m sorry, sir, we don’t carry nuggets, but I can get you a chicken strip basket?'"

"Customer: 'No, I want nuggets! On your commercial! You don’t even know your own food?!'"

"Me: 'Sir, I’m sorry but we don’t carry nuggets. We have chicken strips and steak fingers?'"

"Customer: 'NUGGETS FOR $1.49!'"

"Me: 'Sir, this is Dairy Queen, you are referring to Burger King.'"

"Customer: 'Dairy King?!'"

"Me: 'You are at Dairy Queen, asking for a Burger King menu item.'"

"Customer: 'Oh. (proceeds to wait in line for another five minutes while I watch)"

- avianeyb

Deer in Headlights

"I worked at Wendy's throughout high school and some lady ordered a burger meal at the drive-thru. Over an hour later, she comes back to the front counter, slamming the burger on it, saying it was cold."

"I checked our receipts and told her she ordered over an hour ago and that burgers aren't meant to stay hot for that long."

"She said that was absolutely unacceptable and how dare we serve her a burger that gets cold."

"She then proceeded to ask me for my full name and details so she could sue me, at the same time freaking out when I didn't have a pen to give her to write down my info."

"Another customer walking by said, 'Holy s**t, lady, relax,' and she yelled at him to mind his business."

"He said, 'Well, I just feel bad for this poor employee you're yelling at. If you don't wanna eat here, go somewhere else.'"

"Bless his soul, I was only 17 and was so shocked."

- hayleexh

Not a Medical Professional

"I work as a cashier at a home goods store. I’m very friendly and honestly treasure my customer interactions."

"I was doing my usual patter, like, 'Hi there, how’re you doing, did you find everything all right?' and this lady tells me that it’s the first time she’s been out of the house in a while."

"I thanked her for choosing our store and went to move on with the transaction. She raised her shirt, showed me a HUGE angry red incision on her stomach, and started telling me about her recent hysterectomy. The stitches hadn’t even been removed yet."

"I sort of nodded and smiled and tried to pivot to her total so I could move on with the MASSIVE line that’s building, and she wouldn’t stop talking."

"I had to call for a back-up cashier while getting a very detailed description of surgery, uterine cancer, and the recovery process. She didn’t drop her shirt the entire time."

- souryoungthing

Depending on the Pet Supply Department

"I used to work for Kmart. Someone came into the store and wanted to know where the pet department was located. We only had one aisle of pet items and it was mostly items for dogs/cats (food, litter, toys, etc)."

"I took the customer to the aisle, and they said, 'This is it? This is all you have for pet supplies? You don’t have an actual department like other stores?'"

"'Yes sir, we just carry the basics. If you need a bigger selection, there is a Pet Supplies Plus located at the other end of the plaza.'"

"The customer got upset and said, 'But if I wanted to go to Pet Supplies Plus, I would have gone there. But I wanted to go to Kmart. So I’m guessing you don’t have fish food or anything like that?'"

"I showed him the same selection of fish food, and he got upset. He then started asking advice for fish tanks and again, I directed him to the Pet Supplies Plus that was located just a couple storefronts down from Kmart. When he insisted on not going to that store, I gave him directions to 2 other pet stores in the area."

"Eventually he left, but not before saying, 'This is why Kmart is going out of business!'"

"Sure buddy, the lack of a pet department is the sole reason Kmart is going out of business."

- DannyC990

...Oops.

"Found the product I needed online. I drove to the store and spent 20 minutes failing to find said product on the aisle it was supposed to be on."

"I showed the picture to multiple staff, none of whom recognized it."

"I finally went to the customer services desk and after 10 minutes of waiting in line got told the website I was looking at was one of their competitors."

- SarcasmWedding

Uno Reverse Card

"I went to the drive-thru at a Wendy’s and the person taking the order said, 'Welcome to Walmart.'"

"I was really confused and I heard laughing and he said, 'I’m so sorry,' he works there too and was on autopilot."

- SpecificLook7215

"You missed the opportunity for the uno reverse card. Imagine saying, 'Sir, this is a Wendy’s,' as the CUSTOMER."

- Avenntus

"A few months ago, I drove up to the Wendy's drive-through and heard through the speaker: 'Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?' (There was laughing in the background)."

"I did reply in a serious tone, 'Sir, this is a Wendy's!'"

"Cue uproarious laughter by all... I think they were stoned."

"10/10. Always going to that Wendy's."

- codeprimate

From hilarious to jaw-dropping to utterly shocking, it's fascinating to see how awkward things can get when someone does something completely inappropriate for a setting. At least in most of these cases, they made for funny and memorable stories.

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