One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me. That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think. It changed my life––improved it, I'd say. That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.
After Redditor RainShxdow asked the online community, "What's the biggest life lesson you've learned?" people shared their observations and experiences.
"That life's not fair..."
That life's not fair. You could be struck with injury or disease or death at any time. Try and enjoy what time you have. None of us are guaranteed 90 years or even 70 years or 50. Live while you're alive, we're not guaranteed an afterlife either.
"All of these people..."
You have to be the one looking out for you. This doesn't mean don't look out for other, this doesn't mean others never look out for you.
- Your parents.
- Your boss.
- Your neighbors.
- Your friends.
- Your realtors.
All of these people can and will fail you in life because all people fail at something at some point. You have to look out for yourself, and you have to do what's best for you.
"Working hard..."
Working hard doesn't equal success. If hard work was all that was required, there would be a lot more millionaires.
This is very true.
There are a lot of factors that affect how successful you will be. The connections you have? That matters. How much people like you and want to work with you? That matters too.
"Some of the smartest people I've met..."
I like to say "Just because you're smart, that doesn't mean you aren't dumb."
Some of the smartest people I've met are also shockingly stupid in different contexts. Some of the dumbest seeming people can have profound insight into things they know well.
Intelligence isn't a linear scale, it's more like a skill tree. Everyone has a certain number of skill points to spend when they're born, and education and experience can help you earn more. But if you put all of your skill points into a few obscure stats you can be wildly under-leveled for something mundane.
If I had a nickel...
...for every time a brilliant person showed me how absent-minded they can actually be, I'd be rich as hell.
"That if you cringe..."
That if you cringe over your past actions, that means you have matured.
Another big one.
If you've ever been guilty of lying awake at night thinking of your past behavior while shaking your head, this might apply to you!
"You have to go forward..."
You have to go forward, or else you're stuck forever in your past.
"It's hard to tolerate..."
It's hard to tolerate not being liked, but we're all the a-hole in someone's story.
"You'll burn out..."
Working hard, doing extra shifts, taking on more responsibilities at your job will mean absolutely sweet FA to your boss in the long run. You'll burn out while being paid the same and all of the extra you did will be used against you.
"Don't feel guilty..."
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Indeed!
I used to think the adults around me knew everything. Turns out they knew very little and were just trying to figure it out as they went along. We all go through it.
"Your life is incredibly short..."
Try every experience you can! Go to concerts of bands you've never heard of, take road trips and vacations in places you've never been, eat new foods, talk to everybody, learn everything you can about any subject that comes up, and take every reasonable risk.
Your life is incredibly short and once it's done you don't get to make up for missed opportunities so do it all now. Even if an isolated experience isn't the best, the process of experiencing it will usually be something you are proud of.
Get out there and live your lives!
Life will indeed pass you by if you don't go ahead and seize it––we only get one shot at this. Words of wisdom.
Have some lessons you've learned that are not included here? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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People Break Down Their Most Expensive Hobbies
Reddit user IAmTheQ asked: 'What are your expensive hobbies?'
We can all agree that we need a healthy dose of fun in our lives, and one sure way of keeping the fun around is to have a hobby we revisit regularly.
But while we can all agree about the importance of having a hobby, we certainly will not all agree about the financial investment involved in many of our options.
Redditor IAmTheQ asked:
"What are your expensive hobbies?"
Traveling
"I love to travel, which can be expensive. That's why I don't travel that often because I have to save up between trips. But I love traveling to new places and learning about the culture and history. If I was independently wealthy, I'd be traveling constantly."
- _Hir0sh1ma
"I hope you become independently wealthy."
- IAmTheQ
Fixing Cars
"Fixing cars."
"Simply, I don't get to enjoy it."
- NotYourAverageFox
Oil Painting
"Oil painting. I pay for a studio and sometimes paint is $30 for a small tube. Same with brushes. I can spend a cool $200 on like a couple of tubes of paint and a few paintbrushes once a month easily."
- Eatmysmalla**666
Astrophotography
"Astrophotography."
- Hopeful_Ad_9610
"That sounds out of this world."
- IAmTheQ
"It is indeed astronomically expensive."
- Hopeful_Ad_9610
Going to Concerts
"Going to concerts."
- ReeG
"Live music is the best way to spend money, I love concerts and shows."
- I_DRINK_ANARCHY
Raising Horses
"Horses."
- ExperienceSwimming57
"So much money!"
- Apprehensive-Air8917
"Came here to say that. And sometimes it isn't even my horse (I say as I look at a horse in our facility who bowed a tendon and the owner didn't properly start the medical process properly, and I said 'screw it,' and as of today [when I found out about the poor baby], I am now attempting to give this horse a proper shot at healing)."
- Hestias-Servant
Collecting Vinyl
"Vinyl records."
"I had to stop. It was causing major issues in my marriage. I unfollowed all the record-buying subreddits and started a savings account. I still look, but don't buy. It helps that the prices are stupid now."
- Subhumanoid
"I think you meant to say your marriage was causing major issues in your vinyl collecting."
- -Z-3-R-O-
Mountain Biking
"Mountain biking."
- hugeshanus
"Don’t tell non-mountain bikers how much a good dropper seat post costs, much less the complete bikes."
- Visdelupe
Growing Plants
"I grow plants. At first, sure, it was a simple hobby, and cheap. Just a seed and some dirt."
"Then you start doing hydro, experimental techniques, CO2 enrichment, high powered LED lights, and PPFD meters. Then comes the sub-400 wavelength light and light over 700 nm, various sprays, PPM, and pH meters."
"AH, you went cheap before, now you gotta get blue (an expensive brand). Oh, you got some o2 decencies in your water, need an O2 meter. The list goes on and on."
- Bojangles315
Making Cheese
"Cheese making. Why buy a reasonably-sized hunk of fancy cheese at the store when you can spend hundreds of dollars on milk, a couple grand on supplies and equipment, and months of your time on a slightly larger, but not as good tiny wheel of your own?"
- thegreatfartrocket
Playing Guitar
"Guitar lessons, guitars, and other guitar-related equipment."
- PatienceAndFortitude
"Teach a man to fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to play guitar and he never eats again."
- TheLurkingMenace
Painting in Miniature
"Miniature painting."
"My pile of shame is currently in a massive military surplus duffle bag under my bed."
"I am around 5 feet 10 inches, and can lay down flat in the bag."
"It weighs so much I can't lift it."
- Blankly-Staring
Pinball Machine Restoration
"Pinball machines. I have over 100 of them."
"I accidentally fell into the hobby when I bought a pinball machine and was told it just needed to be 'reset' to work. That was a lie and I realized very few people knew how to repair/restore these things."
"Once I learned how I started saving old pinball machines from being destroyed and started a collection. Now the hobby is a lot more popular than it used to be. It's fun to learn and share what I know about the games and the industry. And they're tons of fun to play."
"I created a youtube channel where I post videos of my pinball restorations. Over 500 videos to date."
- PinballHelp
Building with LEGO
"LEGO. Plastic crack."
- havefunSVO
"I’ve had $200 worth of sets sitting in my cart on Lego.com just waiting for me to get high or drunk enough to pull the trigger."
"Amazon is like $600… and that doesn’t include wishlists."
"I wish I could afford to invest in the actual company, haha!"
- GlasseyeMV
Skiing
"Skiing. If you ignore the cost of equipment, the cost of season passes, and travel, it's not too bad."
- Eron-The-Relentless
It's so important for us to have an activity that is just ours that brings us incredible joy. But at a certain point, we might need to ask ourselves, "At what cost?"
It takes one revelation about a person you know to suddenly have a completely different view of them.
A hidden talent, for example, can make you more impressed about a friend you had no clue could carry a tune.
Or someone who did an uncredited good deed can change your mind about them after you assumed they were the type of person who could care less about helping others.
But what happens if there's a sinister secret about a person you thought you knew coming to light?
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Electrical-Lemon187 asked:
"What’s the most disturbing secret you’ve discovered about someone close to you?"
You think you know your family.
Last Words
"The 24 hours before my dad died (stage 4 lung cancer) he was in the ER and then the ICU and we were unable to be with him because of hospital Covid rules. My mother, sister and myself had been texting and calling him all day and got no response. My mother even called the hospital and spoke with one of his ICU nurses who said he was awake and communicating fine. He passed very quickly at 3:30am the next morning. We were allowed to be at his bedside but by then he was no longer conscious so we said our goodbyes and he was gone. Later that morning while my mom slept I was calling cremation services to schedule his body for pick up at the hospital and going through his bag of belongings the hospital had returned to us. His phone was in there and I wanted to read all our texts and take some comfort in my last words to him."
"I opened his phone and all our texts had not been read, not mine or my mom and sister’s. I thought this was so odd but figured he must have been suffering so much he couldn’t find the strength. I began to scroll through his apps and noticed a chat app I’d vaguely heard of. I can’t recall the name but it essentially works like WhatsApp."
"I opened the app and saw a single contact with a female name. I started reading and realized my dad has been chatting with this girl hourly for the last 24 hours and as far back as I could scroll. He was calling her princess and telling her he loved her and she was saying she was scared for him and wanted to know what was going on, why was he in the ER, etc. I scrolled back enough to know that this was someone he was having at the very least, an emotional affair with."
"My grief was completely hijacked by hurt and anger and a week later I tracked the girl down and spoke to her (via dms) and found out she was 19 years old. She was 17 when they met. He was her high school bus driver and she told me they had been dating for almost 2 years."
"My dad was 66 years old when he died and dating someone younger than his grandchildren, someone he chose to spend his last moments with and say his last goodbyes to. I hope it made him happy but it sure is a sh**ty secret to live the rest of my life with. A secret that will forever overshadow my entire relationship with my dad with no chance to ever speak to him about it. It’s the one secret I wish I’d never found out."
– Fuzzy_Central
Ancestry
"I don't know how disturbing this is; it turned out pretty fantastic for one. But not for another."
"I was adopted, and told a silly, magical story about my birth parents that most certainly did not seem true even when I was a child."
"At 57, I learned I was the result of a college affair between a very seriously Jewish young man and a very Baptist young woman. She was rushed off to a home for wayward girls to give birth. He followed her there (many states away), begging her to keep me and live a life together. But their families both said absolutely not. Jewish people were not viewed as 'white' in the mid-60s, and her family most certainly did not want her marrying a non-white. Plus, she was a very committed Christian and did not want to convert to Judaism."
"So off I went, into another family. I recently discovered three lovely half-siblings and we are all pro or semi-pro musicians and get along well. I never got to meet my mother; she died a year before I searched. My father is out of the picture and wants to be left alone. And I'm fine with that; I'm grateful for the love he gave me. It was enough."
"Endings to our searching are not always happy."
– cybersaint2k
The Shrine
"Found a scrapbook of my mom and a guy I didn’t recognize from her immediately post-college days. Turns out he was a long term boyfriend of hers who killed himself when she broke up with him. My grandfather found his body. I learned at age 20, by finding the book/shrine to him."
– olivep224
You think you know your friends.
Crazy Best Friend
"She was my best friend of 7 years, we had literally been through it all together. I moved out of state with my now husband, but she convinced us both to move back to be closer with her, after about a year. We had no real ties to the state we had tried out, so we said screw it, let’s go back, she’s basically family. We were all so happy to be reunited; she was over almost every night for dinner, we all laughed and talked and had a blast. Best year of my life."
"Then slowly, she started trying to turn my husband and I against each other. Anytime we had an argument (like any couple does) she would text each of us about how right we were; trying to foster animosity between the two of us."
"With me, she started talking about how she had a plan b for 'us', that if my husband and I couldn’t make it work, I could move in with her and we’d live happy lives together."
"With my husband, she started talking about her infertility issues and how she wanted to have a kid just like him, she just needed a sperm donor."
"This all happened at around the same time, and my husband and I compared texts and figured it out."
"She wanted to take his sperm, and have a baby with me. When confronted about it she refused to admit anything and started lashing out at both of us. It got to the point where she would show up unannounced, banging on the door, demanding a place in our home. It was so terrifying and panic inducing that we ended up having to move and change our phone numbers."
"I guess it’s so disturbing because I had never had a friend like her, only to find out that she, well she cared about me, but in such an unhealthy and scary way. But yeah, that’s my story."
"Husband and I are great now btw."
– lillylenore
His Fraudulent Degrees
"A work colleague appeared on the front page of a national newspaper for a life of fraudulent qualifications. He claimed medical and law degrees, was a brigadier in the army (reserves) and was the CEO for a major heath fund. He actually was a Brigadier in the army reserves but that and the heath fund role were largely built on the fraudulent qualifications and a progression of jobs also based on this claims. In reality, the only qualification he actually held was as a mortuary assistant. Not even his wife knew. The fraudulent degrees had been gained when he was in the army reserves recruiting and he had access to submitted position applications. He came undone when he applied for a government job and some flags were raised by the recruitment people. He tried to withdraw the application but didn’t realise that an application for a government role has the same weight as a statutory declaration and cannot be withdrawn. It all went south very quickly and he ended up doing jail time."
– crosstherubicon
You never truly know everything about people–even those who are closest to you.
They say ignorance is bliss, and that applies to many of examples provided by Redditors.
But if you were in their shoes, and depending on the circumstances, would you rather know the deepest and darkest secrets about those you care about?
When going on a first date, we are often on the lookout for "red flags", the key indicators that whoever is sitting across from us couldn't possibly be the love of our life.
More often than not, these red flags, be it something they said or did, are often a firm deal breaker in finding a partner.
Sometimes, however, there might be enough to make you overlook the glaring red flag you just had waved in your face.
And much to your surprise, you might find yourself falling head over heels in love with them, in spite of their one, obvious flaw.
"What's your biggest red flag in a partner?"
The Wisest Admit When They've Made A Mistake...
"Inability to recognize or admit when they've made a mistake."- UniversityEastern542
My Way Or The Highway...
"Using ultimatums to get their way instead of compromising."- Whed1956
And That Concerns Me, Why?...
"No respect for your interests or your time."- ElNakedo·
Bored Over It GIFGiphyIt's Can Be Easy To See Clearly Through The "Gaslight"...
"Manipulation on any level."- xfalinex
"Manipulating, gaslighting, 'winning'."- umbrex
Is It Really So Difficult To Say "I'm Sorry"?...
"Inability to apologize."- theregoesthevillage
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyHonesty is ALWAYS The Best Policy...
"My biggest red flag in a partner would be their inability to communicate effectively and be honest with me."
"Trust is key."- Proper_Ad5123
What You See Is What You Get
"Wanting to change my style and look."
"First girlfriend wanted me to wear button up shirts, colored my hair brown, and even wanted me to wear brown colored contact lenses."
"Coincidentally these were all features of her cousin who she later married."
"A good partner helps you grow and become the best version of you."
"They don't try to mould you into their own vision."- AdmiralClover
Alicia Silverstone Makeover GIF by filmeditorWritten In The Stars
"Blames their sh*tty behaviour on their star sign."
"Yeah, I ain't buying the 'it's because I'm a Scorpio" bullsh*t."- A_Direwolf
...Or Maybe A Scratched Cornea?
"An eyepatch. It's a sign of dangerous living, possibly pirate or rustler but certainly an outlaw."- beathelas
Temper Temper...
"Can't control their anger and/or hits and breaks stuff when angry."- LilleSmurfine
There Is Nothing More Important In Life...
"Your significant other restricting you from hanging out with your friends."- AagamAaghnya
There Is So Much More To Life...
"If their political views are their whole personality."- V1p3rzach
brooklyn nine nine politics GIFGiphyIt's fair enough to have deal breakers when it comes to finding a partner.
Always remember though, first impressions can be misleading.
And love has a way of helping you overlook the imperfections of others.
Some people absolutely love spicy foods.
Spice is also closely related to culture. Some cuisines are well-known for their spiciness, with many of them from tropical and subtropical regions of Asia, Africa, and the Americas.
Bringing the heat to the heat?
Whereas other cuisines are known for a lack of spice—many being in Europe. Denmark was declared the country which uses the least spices, although a lot of Scandinavia gave them stiff competition.
And the UK?
Why so bland?
As the saying goes, Britain invaded and colonized over half the world for spices, but decided not to use any of them.
Imported spicy dishes are extremely popular in some of these regions—tikka masala and various other curries are takeout favorites in England.
But somehow the spices they enjoy from Asian foods, African foods or foods of the Western Hemisphere were never incorporated into their own traditional recipes.
This is interesting given chilies originated in the Western Hemisphere—along with other European staples like potatoes and tomatoes—then spread around the world and into multiple cuisines within only the last 500-600 years.
Maybe those regions have more people on average who can't tolerate spicy foods? Because for some people even a speck of chilies is excruciating.
Reddit user corgiman3000 asked:
"What's the lowest spice tolerance you've seen in someone?"
Was it at least whole wheat?
"My brother-in-law complained dinner was too spicy and, upon questioning, it was because he'd seen me dredge the chicken in flour before frying it."
"Flour."
"Flour was too spicy for him."
- purplhouse
Ketchup's the limit.
"Mom can’t eat anything spicier than ketchup. I grew up on very very bland food"
- -Firestar-
"Same, discovering spice changed it all"
- SculptedSoul
"I'm certainly making up for it. Indian, Thai, whatever I can get my hands on. Anything with super flavor. And heat. Husband taught me how to eat spicy food and now I'm a heat fiend and must make up for lost time before I get too old to enjoy true spicy."
- -Firestar-
Phantom Garlic
"My dad tastes garlic in everything, even if it doesn’t have garlic in it."
"An example: I offered some of my macaroni salad to him. He takes a bite. 'I can’t eat this, it’s too garlicky.' No garlic."
- Old_Army90
"I once cooked for a couple of hundred university students who were on a get-to-know-eachother trip. We made a curry with lots of garlic and a little bit of green Thai curry. A kid would have eaten it with no trouble, but one of the students - a grown man - rushed out into the kitchen with tears in his eyes, shouting at us that we were insane."
"He was the type of person who thinks that garlic and black pepper is way to spicy to add to food.
It was a blast"
- KosmonautMikeDexter
Then why go to Nando's?
"Lemon and herb chicken at nandos was too spicy for them, they had to have plain."
- ambigulous_rainbow
"One of my friends did this. I was so dissapointed in him after that. wHat a waste of money"
- cutdownthere
"When Nando’s came out with their new 'Plain-ish' flavour that’s below Lemon and Herb, I was wondering why anyone would order that. I guess I know now…"
-TjMoore
Literal Ranch Dressing
"When I worked at Tim Hortons a guy complained that out ranch dressing was 'too spicy' and it 'burnt his tongue'"
- FunkyKong147
"I wonder if he was just allergic to something in the ranch. I’m always wary of spicy foods bc biting into something that I’m allergic to often results in it tasting spicy. So if idk it’s supposed to be spicy, I get anxious."
"I once bit into a chocolate protein bar that tasted very spicy. It was not spicy, I was simply allergic"
- InsomniacAcademic
Bell Peppers
"I’ve seen someone argue that bell peppers are spicy. Not black pepper. Bell pepper. Which are a kind of sweet pepper with zero Scoville units. They aren’t even tart or acidic."
- TerribleAttitude
"My spouse and I have a bizarre ongoing argument over this. He is always trying to tell me to be careful when I collect seeds from the bell peppers. I'm like, uh, why? Because of the capsaicin, he says. I say, there is none in here."
"We have this conversation over and over. I could literally stick my finger in my eye, that's how zero spicy bell peppers are. Also I'm deathly allergic to capsaicin so I would know as soon as I ate the dang pepper. (We didn't know I was allergic when he started this weird argument.)"
"I don't know why he continues to think there's spicy anything in sweet peppers, and why he will never ever believe me! I guess it keeps marriage...spicy."
- KiloJools
Tartar Sauce
"I CAN ANSWER THIS."
"I was married to this guy for awhile. His parents were VERY spice-adverse. I had never seen anything like it. I only actually visited their home once, because they lived in a state far away from us, and they usually visited us instead."
"My ex-MIL was always going on about how many spices I had in my collection and how unnecessary it was. When I went to their house I found out she had a spice collection of: dehydrated onions, pepper, salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. That was literally it. I didn't even see cinnamon."
"Iwent to pick up some fried fish once when we were there. Got the tartar sauce on the side."
"His mother tried the tartar sauce and then said, I sh*t you not, "Oh my, that has some kick to it".
"IT ABSOLUTELY DID NOT. IT WAS F**KING TARTAR SAUCE."
- DoomDamsel
"Hooo boy. If she thinks tartar sauce has a kick she is gonna lose her mind when she learns about mustard."
- Fimpish
Low spice tolerance shouldn't be your whole personality.
"My aunt thinks having a low spice tolerance counts as a personality trait. It's so integral that as a goof my spouse once started to describe a chicken soup they were all having at a diner as 'really peppery' and despite my aunt having already ate like half her bowl suddenly couldn't eat it anymore."
- Ralfarius
Plain avocado
"Had a kid immigrate from Poland to Colorado. We were making guacamole for a school class and he tasted it and immediately said it was too hot."
"It was only avocados at that point, we hadn't added anything else."
"He ended up LOVING spicy food, but we never stopped giving him sh*t for that.... good dude, hope he's doing well for himself."
- DETRITUS_TROLL
Even half is too much
"I bought one of those curry sauces that come in a jar for my father who 'loves a good curry'. Knowing my father, I bought the mild version and used half the sauce recommended, figuring I could pepper my own plate up."
"He tucks in, but sure enough, half way through 'It's nice but maybe we could only use half the jar next time?' I looked him in the eye and said 'I did. Do you want me to maybe just wave the jar over the pan?'"
- joalheagney
Doritos
"Probably me from a long while back. Let's put it this way.. even nacho flavored Doritos used to be hot for me."
"Not anymore at least! Not sure why I used to be so sensitive to spices.. oh well lol."
- WispyCiel
Creative Vengeance
"I grew up mostly in Asia, my mother used to take the British executives who came for meetings who were disrespectful or misogynistic to her to the local places she loved."
"As the only person who spoke Bahasa she’d order the spiciest dishes (which she loved) and watched them sweat and struggle through the meals because losing to her would have humiliated them. They often spent the next day locked in their hotel suites"
- RxDuchess
Raw Onion
"Onions, f**king onions. once went to get lunch with a manager I worked with and we went to quiznos and I ordered a sandwich and got jalapenos on it.
he was like 'whoa you can eat those?'
'...yeah you can't?'
'no, even raw onion is too spicy for me.'"
- BronchialChunk
Do you love, hate or have a mixed reaction to spicy foods?
Or is there another flavor profile you can't tolerate, like sweet or sour?
Let us know in the comments.