Sometimes we want to hold onto stories so they continue to live within us. So much of our world is an open book, shared with everyone in possession of a smart phone and a bit of spare time. However, some stories deserve a that extra bit of attention, a little more focus, to truly grasp their importance.
These stories today are not game-changers in the sense they'll shift your whole worldview, they've just never been told before this moment.
Reddit user, u/BelvitaBiscuitz, wanted the secrets unfolded when they asked:
A Punishment Too Far
around 42 years ago, my little brother was playing with matches and set the woods on fire, burned about 10 acres.
everyone assumed that it was me smoking in the woods so he and I just let it be me.
I took the blame (and the a-- whooping) because Dad was kinda rough on the whoopings when he was mad. and I didn't want my little brother to have to take it.
Being that Dad got a little carried away this time (broke my arm) we've just never told anyone the truth.
The Tiniest Of Errors Leads To The Biggest Changes
Recently found out my big buff uncle who goes on hunting trips and is redneck as f-ck went to college to be a teacher. He was an assistant at a school and a little girl fell off the monkey bars, age was crying so he picked her up to calm her down. He was fired for this and couldn't teach in that area (this was back early 2000s). He told my grandmas friend who was helping him find a job that he wanted to help kids. He was hired to work in a juvenile detention center as a security guard, quit 6 weeks in and now works in a warehouse, already he gets better pay so he can provide for his family.
It happened a long time ago. I have two younger brothers, one was 11 and the other 7. We were watching tv as the my youngest brother suddenly looked confused and looked everywhere like he was searching for something. I asked him what's wrong and he said "someone's doing something wrong, something bad, he hurts someone".
About an hour later, police shows up to arrest a neighbour of ours who apparently abused his kid and stole lots of money an hour before. I never really knew how I felt about it so I just asked my other brother (the one that was 11) to not say anything bc it would freak out out parents. My youngest brother doesnt remember this
When I was 17ish my dad had moved me into this 100 year old cabin in our back yard. (Small mountain town) I was.... difficult to say the least and it got me out of everyone's hair. It only has electric. Heat is a stove almost in the middle of the cabin.
Fast forward a couple months and it's winter. F-cking cold. I get home from work and it's freezing. I start a fire. Takes a few min but that thing really worked. I'm bored by myself. Look down at a 12 pack of mountain dew. Get stupid idea.
My brilliant brain thinks " put a soda in the fire it will be awesome". .... So I did. I'm sitting there watching TV and after like 20 min the can has still yet to explode. So.... without hesitation....I get down on my knees....open the door to see what the f-ck....in flows oxygen....can just HAPPENS to be facing with the top looking directly at me. My face at this point is about 2 feet from the can.
BOOM. Can cuts loose and hot pressurized liquid diabetes smashes into my face. I'm gripping onto my face and rolling around with nothing but the thought that I was blind.....f-ck what a stupid story about how to go f-cking blind. I scrambled around till I found something to clean off my face... I was fine.....never told a soul.
It's A Kitten. You Don't Need A Reason.
One day at work, my mom FaceTimed me and showed me a small kitten on her shoulder. The official story is that she saw some awful person throw it out the window and she rescued it. She had to pull over on the freeway on-ramp after she saw this small fuzzball fly out the window of the car in front of her and searched the grassy area until she found it.
The first clue that something was off was the speed of the vehicles. The second was that she used to be a dispatcher and apparently didn't remember the make, model, color of the car, or the license plate.
A couple of days later I was told the real story. She was at the dentist and apparently a stray cat had given birth to kittens in one of the gardens of that lot. She lured one toward her and decided to take it home and rescue it. She told me that I'm not allowed to tell anyone that story until she dies and then I can tell it at her funeral. Every once in a while she checks in about that story and asks if I told anyone yet.
A Beautiful Moment Only You Witnessed
I used to work at a supermarket. One day I saw the most normal looking middle aged man come in pushing his cart, and then the child inside him took over.
He did a little hop and a skip, and then jumped up in air, putting all his weight on the handle. He then face planted VERY hard, and the cart went flying up into the air.
The store was fairly busy at this point, and amazingly NOBODY saw it. I remember looking around frantically trying to find someone to share my amusement with, but I was the only person to witness this fantastic display.
The poor man scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could, looking around sheepishly to see who had seen what had happened. As he turned in my direction, I turned away in awkwardness and also to save him the embarrassment.
I then watched him continue his shopping, looking very happy with himself that he'd gotten away with it. He didn't get away with it. He probably never told anyone, but I saw it.
Such. Tangible. Awkwardness.
This will probably get buried, I'm a bit late to the party but here goes. Format, mobile etc.
Years ago me and my first long term boyfriend broke up. We had been living together in a large house with another girl my age (around 18/19) at the time.
We had been broken up for a couple of months but we all stayed living together as it made sense until we had separated our finances totally. So I was moving out of the house, I had packed up all my stuff and my parents came to help me move. My step dad came down to the kitchen after going upstairs to take my bed apart. He's usually a man of few words but he had gone pretty quiet even for him.
Turns out he had made his way into the wrong room, taken my female house mates bed apart, after removing the bed sheets himself and uncovering 2 giant pink dildos, which he moved to the other side of the room without a word.
My house mate went up stairs and was like "who took my bed apart?" And we all burst out laughing and went to see, and there were the 2 dildos that he had moved, on her dresser awkwardly.
It was pretty cringe for everyone involved but its hilarious looking back now.
Even Rainbow Road??
One of the first times I invited my girlfriend to spend the night at my college apartment - I went to bed early. We're both gamers, but I'm an early bird and she's a night owl.
She reassured me I could go to sleep without her because, little did I know, she had plans to unlock Toad, Toadette, and the Special Cup in Mario Kart: DD for the GameCube.
My apartment complex had very strict parking. There were only 2 parking passes for me and my roommate, but I encouraged my girlfriend to park in the lot anyway because I'd never seen a friend get towed in the couple of years I lived there. She really didn't want to get towed though, so I promised to pay if she got her car impounded.
So I go to bed while she plays Mario Kart all night. Little did I realize she's an absolute freak at the game.
I wake up early in the morning to find her passed out from a night of gaming. I fire up the Gamecube to play some Mario Kart with breakfast.
Not aware she unlocked almost EVERYTHING in the game. I proudly proclaim,
"You got Toad!"
Barely awake she responds, "I got... TOWED??"
"Yeah! You got Toad last night while I was sleeping, I can't believe it!"
"I GOT TOWED?!"
"YEAH! Don't you remember?"
She frantically checks behind the blinds to look outside at the parking lot.
"I didn't get towed."
"Yeah, you got Toad and Toadette last night..?"
One of our best moments for sure.
...That's Not Your Name.
I started doing one of those 5k running apps. On this app, the trainer is named Erin. She coaches you through each "training" session. I've never been a runner and now can do a solid 5k! But anyway Erin told me that I've got to have a mantra. Something i can repeat to myself when I want to give up. Her mantra is "you're strong Erin, be strong" I could never come up with anything better so now my mantra is "you're strong Erin, be strong"
my name isn't even close to Erin but it doesn't feel right using my own name at this point.
I'm surprised how often I want to give up on things and automatically think "you're strong Erin, be strong".
Edit: guys I am so overwhelmed and touched by these replies! Gold and silver and wholesome? oh my! We are all strong Erins!!
A 10-Second Change
The time my mum needed to go back into the house to get a scarf. Because of this we were held back and missed a bus by 10 seconds. That bus then crashed into a bridge at very high speed because the bus driver had mental health problems. It is the closest I have ever been to death. I will never complain about my mum going back to get a scarf in my life again.
A Very Good Boy
It is not mind-blowing or anything of the sort, which is why I never told it, but when I first started getting sick and couldn't move around the house like usual, my cat would yell at me for two minutes until I sat down. He would proceed to purr furiously over my stomach, which was hurting, for about ten minutes at a time. He would chirp at me if I tried to get up beforehand and keep bumping my leg as I walked past if I never sat down.
Little did I know that he was trying to heal my cancer, that was growing into the muscle by that point. He's a little Siamese mix and he is very vocal, and I appreciate his little squeaks of support.
He is a very good boy.
Always Carry Vaseline With You
I moved to the UK from zimbabwe when I was 4. The first few years my parents spent their whole time trying to settle down, by the time I was 8 they realised we had never been to london. So on a hot june day we went into london. We went to the aquarium, Covent garden to see all the performers, on the london eye, it was a good day. To end the day we went to buckingham palace, I was tired so I was resting my head against the bars asking all the questions youd expect from an 8 year old.
After a while my parents said it was time to go, i pushed away from the bars and then felt the cold steel against the back of my ears. I hadn't noticed my head has slipped through. I panicked, a crowd gathered (I'm probably in many a family photo album) even a horse guard came to see what the commission was about.
Bet he wasnt expecting a child with his head stuck. By then I had accepted this as my new home, but I couldn't figure out how I'd go to sleep with a spike on the floor. Luckily an old lady had a tub of vaseline in her handbag and my dad was able to pull me out with my head smothered in vaseline.
A Little Sweetness In The World
I've told this on reddit before but never in person.
so i was at a water park with a girl I had a huge crush on and some of our mutual friends. i'm not a big fan of rides, she had been trying to talk me into going on one all day, and i finally agreed to try out this one really intense looking slide. basically you go down the slide while sitting on this big inflatable thing, and it was for two people so naturally i got paired up with the girl i had a crush on.
we both climbed into the inflatable, which had these little handles on it for you to hold onto when you went down. when we went down the slide, it was WAY faster than I thought it would be. I accidentally let go of one of the handles, tried to grab it again, and ended up grabbing her hand instead by accident.
i was really embarrassed but she put her other hand on top of mine until we reached the bottom. i guess she thought i was scared, which is also kinda embarrassing, but it was a nice moment. She later went on to be my first kiss about 6 months later, and we're still close friends today
"So Long Story Short, Don't Do That."
In 6th grade one night I was like, I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow, so I looked up how to get a fever... I found a tutorial that said to take a bath at the hottest temperature your bathtub will go, and then stay up all night. I decided to try it and I started the water for a steaming hot bath. It stung to get in it, and I somehow survived it for 30 minutes, when I was getting out I felt dizzy and then...
I fell on the floor and had a seizure...
I woke up and saw the blinding ceiling lights of the bathroom and the first thing I thought was ,"Am I dead?" And then I threw up in the toilet next to me and had a migraine for the night. And later found out I got 1st degree burns.
So long story short, don't do that.
Did you go to school the next day?
No. Not for a week.
What A TWIST
When I was 17, I worked at a grocery store with a guy named Brian. Normal guy, mid 20s, lil chub. Didn't really think much of him.
One day he tells me about how he lives in an apartment by himself and that his neighbours are absolutely crazy. Like they would yell at him to be quiet, pound against the wall to get him to shut up, even though he wouldn't be doing anything. He would sneeze, and his neighbours would scream at the top of their lungs from next door. It was that bad.
Tbh, I didn't really care much when he was telling me this. I just wanted to go home and not work anymore.
Couple days go by and I noticed that Brian wasn't showing up anymore. Whatever. Didn't think much of that either. A month or two goes by and he finally shows back up to work. So, being the nice friend I am, I asked him where he's been. He tells me he was actually fired because he was in the hospital. I didn't think that was a valid reason to fire someone, but what do I know. I didn't comment on that. I asked him why he was in the hospital and he told me it was for "personal reasons". I tell him it was good having him back, and carried on with my day.
Fast forward a couple days to me talking to another coworker who was good friends with Brian. He says "Did you hear what happened to Brian?"
"Yeah he was in the hospital and was fired or something"
"Do you know why though?"
"No, he said it was personal"
So this is what happened a couple months ago before Brian disappeared. He was at home by himself, when his neighbours (surprise) start yelling at him through the walls for being too loud. Brian telling himself "I've had enough" decides to call the police and have them deal with it. The police arrived and started talking to the neighbours for quite some time. Hours go by with the police and neighbours. So he calls the police again to ask what's taking so long. The police respond with "..um.. We left like an hour and a half ago."
Turns out that the neighbours were never yelling at him. In fact, they were never there. Brian was schizophrenic and was hearing voices in his head. He had to go to a mental hospital for a month.
Some people truly think the world revolves around them, which is why it's so satisfying to see them get what they want.
Consider: When was the last time you saw someone in public freak out in a store and demand to speak to the manager? Did the manager acquiese? Or did they stand up for their employees?
We're used to hearing about employees getting the short end of the stick, of course. But the moments when things go the other way—and a terrible nuisance finds themselves unable to get what they want—is truly a sight to behold.
In short: Saying "no" or putting people in their place is the ultimate power move.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor sormatodor asked the online community,
"What was the best 'you have no power here' moment you have ever seen?"
"The other evening..."
"This is a bit silly, but gave me a great feeling of satisfaction. Due to the bad economy and poor money management, my parents have moved into the spare room of the house my husband and I bought a year ago. Things are mostly smooth, tho I'm not the closest to them for several reasons I won't go into here."
"The other evening I was out gardening (because it's hot during the day and we have the luck of having a streetlight right next to our front yard, keeping it pretty well illuminated even after sundown, I mostly garden at night), and I thought I had gotten the hose twisted, as it kept getting stuck."
"This went on for a bit, when I realized that it wasn't stuck, but being pulled. I looked into the dim area just past the illumination of the street light and spied my father, crouched over and tugging the hose. Well I did the only reasonable thing to do, and I sprayed him. He yelled and ran inside with me chasing."
"Once he got inside he made a face and goes "You can't get me now! I'm inside!!" In that father-to-daughter-don't-you-make-a-mess tone of voice."
"I readied my hose, looked him in the eye and said, "It's my house." And just let loose with the hose. He was soaked. Worth cleaning up the mess for that moment of true fear in his eyes."
This story definitely made our day better!
"I used to work..."
"I used to work for a super nasty manager when I worked at McDonalds. This guy was horrible to us. He was constantly bullying us, s*it talking us TO CUSTOMERS, and doing everything in his power to make us miserable. Well, so many people complained about him that he ended up getting fired."
"New manager was great. He was super chill and understanding with us all. A couple weeks after he took over, the old guy comes in and starts talking about how terrible the store looks, how our service is worse than ever, and how much this store needs him. The new manager looked at him and said "If you don't leave, then the cops are gonna make you.""
"When the guy didn't move, new awesome manager stuck to his guns and called the cops. The dude is no longer allowed on ANY McDonalds property in the city and has a restraining order against him."
Wow, that is definitely a power move. So much for that guy. How embarrassing.
"And walked out."
"The first time I had dinner at my parents house after I got my own apartment. My dad was giving me grief as usual. Finally, I stood up and said, “ I don’t live here anymore. I don’t have to put up with you this way any longer. I’m going home.”
"And walked out."
"Most liberating moment of my life."
We're proud of you! Well done. Set those boundaries!
"Anticipating his next move..."
"I worked in management at a theatre for a while. If the concession counter was slammed and I was able, I'd leave my post and help them sling popcorn."
"One night while helping out, a particularly belligerent man started cussing out a 16 year old girl on a cash register for being too slow, even suggesting she quit since she clearly couldn't handle pushing buttons or scooping popcorn."
"It was pretty disgusting and I felt so bad for the girl, I stepped in and told the guy that our employees have the right to refuse service to customers who harass them as part of our anti-harassment/discrimination policy, empathized that the lines were longer than usual, and suggested he should apologize and move on. He was PISSED."
"Left half his order on the counter and started fuming off."
"Anticipating his next move, I went back to my original post that night - as manager of the customer service kiosk. Oh boy, the look on his face when he saw me. (Didn't want a refund of his tickets though so I assume he watched the movie, without popcorn)."
Sounds like you were a good girl. That teenage girl definitely appreciated you for sticking up for her!
"When an unhappy client..."
"When an unhappy client threatens to go hire a better lawyer. They don't seem to get that this isn't a threat when they aren't paying me..."
Okay, there's the door. At the end of the day, you have a choice: Money or peace of mind? Your peace of mind will thank you every time.
"I told my ex..."
"I told my ex I was getting remarried. He told me he was going to stop me and put a lein on my house (which I bought with my money six years after the divorce). My son would come home from visitations telling me how his dad was going to stop the wedding and I'd have to pay him all of this money, la di da."
"Get to court. His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn't owed anything."
"Judge looks at ex's lawyer and basically asks, "did you even ask for this document before filing?" and dismisses the case."
Did you get court costs? Any solution for his attempt at alienating your son? Hope it's better now.
"So my biological grandmother..."
"Not me, but a story my dad used to tell me all the time."
"So my biological grandmother was very emotionally abusive. She was very controlling and tried to keep people within her sphere of influence. There's a reason why my grandfather divorced her."
"In high school my dad had a job washing airplanes at an airport in our area, which he absolutely loved (he's a huge fan of aircraft in general). He had classes until roughly 10 am and then he'd be off to work until around 10 pm (it was what he loved, he didn't mind long hours being around aircraft all day)."
"But one day he came home a little too late for his mom's liking. She said she'd take his keys to his motorcycle and that he'd lost privileges to it."
"The fact of the matter is that he bought the motorcycle himself and he needed it to get to school as well as work. He laughed in her face and she didn't do anything. She couldn't do anything."
Your dad sounds like the cool loner from an '80s high school movie.
"When I got back..."
"I work for a trampoline park franchise. We opened a sister location that I ran for about a year and a half before moving back to take over the old location."
"When I got back, a lot needed fixing but in particular there were 2 teenage employees that had been fired/suspended on numerous occasions. They were generally lazy, rude jackasses that shouldn’t have been hired in the first place. Problem was, they both had aggressive helicopter moms that intimidated the manager into rescinding any punishments."
"Once I came back, I took stock of our employees and had a long talk with the entire leadership team. I learned which employees caused which problems, who was unreliable, who had a regular habit of skipping shifts, texting on shift, etc. I fired about a half dozen that first week, including those two I mentioned."
"That night, both moms called my personal cell to scream at me (our numbers are listed in the online scheduling tool so employees can find shift covers more easily). They demanded to know why I fired them, threatened to sue, have me arrested, accused me of discrimination (against their white middle-class sons), etc."
"I simply asked, “Is your son over 18? Yes? So you’re demanding I illegally release personal information regarding a former adult employee? Bye.""
That's the way to do it!
The nerve of some people... especially parents who think their kids should bear no responsibility for their own actions.
There's something really satisfying about telling people like this off. If you've ever worked in customer service of any kind—especially in retail or in restaurants—then you know how satisfying it can be to tell the worst people "no."
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Considering how much money these films make, I understand that I am in the minority when I say that Marvel films have absolutely overstayed their welcome. What once seemed fairly innovative—the current generation of the MCU really took off when Iron Man proved to be a tremendous hit—now feels stale.
I accept it, though. These films are not for me and never have been. That's okay. But it'd be great if we could have more room for other great blockbuster films other than yet another superhero movie.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Ziggi28 asked the online community,
"What franchise has been milked to death?"
"MTVs Teen Mom. Although they still act like teenagers, the moms are in their 30s."
Part of me thinks the only reason it's still on is because MTV knows several of the cast members have no other way to make money and they're waiting to see if any of the kids become teen parents.
All of Them
"A better question would be what franchise HASN'T been milked to death. Something like 9 out of 10 "blockbusters" these days are remakes/sequels/rehashes etc."
If we have to have nonstop remakes, I wish they’d at least make good remakes of bad movies/shows that had potential but were poorly executed for whatever reason, instead of mediocre at best remakes of classics.
It's a "No" for Netflix
"Certainly nothing netflix has created. Get hooked on a show with solid potential and bam....its canceled."
Netflix’s Dark Crystal amazingly resurrected a Jim Henson masterpiece, set up an entire world to explore, and cancelled it after one season.
"Is the next Halloween really going to be the last one or no?"
Don't forget, guys: Evil dies tonight!
We'll repeat it 10,000 times just so you know for sure.
Friday the 13th
"When Jason started killing in Manhattan, possessing people’s bodies, and killing on a futuristic spaceship in outer space, I felt the Friday the 13th series was getting a bit ridiculous. Although Jason X wasn’t that bad."
Honestly, the franchise died with Jason X. The remake of the first—which actually combined the plots of the first four films—was actually pretty good but didn't go anywhere after that.
"Ben 10. I enjoyed the first 3 shows, 4th one is mixed for me, but that 5th show which is that reboot that came after was unnecessary and just shows that Cartoon Network is reliant on making money from toy sales rather than telling a good story from that reboot."
There were more than two? This is news to me.
The Walking Dead
"The Walking Dead. I stopped watching when I found myself actively hoping the protagonists would be killed in gruesome ways."
I stopped after Beth died, didn't watch it for a long time, went back to it—though I started from the beginning—and gave up right when Glen was killed. It was exhausting and a meandering mess all in all.
"I just got an ad for the Jurassic World: Dominion extended edition. Pretty sure nobody has been asking for more runtime of that movie."
That movie had no reason to be as long as it is and Laura Dern and Sam Neil are really slumming it.
90 Day Fiancé
"90 Day Fiancé."
"There must be like 20 spinoffs from that show, including Pillow Talk (which has former cast members commenting on episodes) and then a Pillow Talk for the Pillow Talk episodes. Not to mention the individual spin offs like The Family Chantel and Darcey & Stacey."
I can't believe this is still on. I must be dreaming.
"Grey's Anatomy. It’s so repetitive and just ridiculous now. I gave up in season 10, then tried again and caught up a few seasons but it’s just kind of relentless, ruins good characters and rapidly churns out new, forgettable ones."
This should is the definition of a soap opera. And to think it was once a big Emmy contender for a few years!
Admit it: You're so over these too, aren't you? We might as well be living in a time loop because some of these franchises keep coming back over... and over... and over...
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
We've all displayed embarrassing behavior or actions at one point or another, and we can't seem to shake off the regretful moment.
It just replays in our minds like an endless boomerang.
We are equally embarrassed for those who may have done something spontaneously foolish and have no clue of the mortifying impact of their actions.
It's called cringe, and strangers online had plenty to say about the all-too-familiar phenomenon when Redditor brownGoddess01 asked:
"What is something you find REALLY cringe?"
There is a time and place for things. That doesn't mean the unspoken rule is broken.
"A disastrous engagement during someone else's wedding."
"This happened at my cousins wedding. My other cousin was proposed to by her bf during the reception. The cousin getting married eventually got a divorce and the cousin who was proposed to never got married. My grandma went to her grave calling the guy who did the proposal 'El Diablo.'”
Inappropriate Declaration Of Love
"I used to work wedding receptions. One time during the speeches I witnessed the best friend of the bride profess his love to her, in front of the groom and everybody. It was one of the most awkward/cringiest moments I’ve ever witnessed."
There are some things we do that we can't take back.
How Far We've Come
"my past self."
"That means you’ve grown. Respect."
The Moment We'd Like To Forget
"My mind randomly replaying an embarrassing moment I've done that I want to forget."
"Listening my recorded voice."
Some people love living their lives on camera. Some participants don't have a say in the matter. And others just don't wanna see it.
All The World Is A Stage
"Family bloggers. Constantly having your life recorded as a child can really f'k you up. Especially since a lot of the time the parents are just using their children for content."
"I will extend this to normal people who post every second of their child’s lives, they often hide under ‘it’s so my family can see it’ but it’s not really, is it? Or else you’d have an account just for family not your 900 additional ‘friends’"
Crying You A River
"Recording yourself crying on social media."
"when individuals share sobbing selfies. No joke, when my friend's sister and her children put their dog to die, she tweeted selfies of them both crying. and the deceased dog."
"Like, is it a private moment of mourning and not a chance for a selfie?"
"All these 'prank' videos getting millions of views."
"Edit: To be specific, I’m referring to 'prank' videos that are clearly staged."
Unsolicited Life Coach
"People whose lives are an absolute self-induced disaster and post selfies with motivational quotes telling other people how to think and live."
Being in the entertainment industry and knowing how humbling it is when there are more rejections than there are bookings, we tend to be our own worst critics.
So there's nothing more cringey than revisiting an old recording of myself performing at a high school talent show when my interest in theater was fresh and exciting and I already thought I was a pro.
Unfortunately for teenage me, I was blissfully unaware I had ways to go before honing my craft.
Let's just say that all those old VHS recordings of me performing an imitation of Michael Crawford as the Phantom of the Opera need to be burned.
Sex. It's great, but there can be a lot of drama involved.
We're human, how could there not be?
One way to make it easy is to say the right name when you're in the heat of things.
Seriously, we know this sounds like a small thing, but it's monumentally important.
Make sure you know your date's name.
If you don't, take your date to Starbucks and have it written on their cup.
It might be REALLY important later in the evening.
Redditor throwaway2356765 wanted to know your best excuses in the worst moments of intimacy.
"How do you apologize to your girlfriend after accidentally calling her by your ex’s name during sex?"
Sex makes our minds crazy. I say all sorts of nonsense.
ExtremesRun Away Nuclear Bomb GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Burn the house down. Fake your death. Move to Peru. There's no recovery."
"You're gonna have to run out the clock on that one. Just say you're sorry and take the consequences."
"Yup. Persistence is key. Apologize a thousand times until she forgives you. Cook her favorite meals a thousand times until she forgives you. Massage her back a thousand times until she forgives you."
"'I'm so sorry [Ex's Name].' Trust me it'll work."
"Unironically maybe if you can convince her you have early onset dementia."
"Call out a guy's name next time and really throw her for a loop."
"Call out your own name."
"Or her father's name."DZLars
And Piggy?Press Conference Kermit GIFGiphy
"Call out Kermit’s name next time."
Sex makes us all crazy.
SorrySad Cry GIF by TheFactory.videoGiphy
"Oh man, trust me as someone who calls everyone by another person's name... there is no amount of apologies to make up for that in this case. Just hope she cares enough to forgive - she won't forget though and may bring it up many times."
"Not sure, but if it helps to know, I accidentally called my wife our dog’s name during an argument."
"Update: It totally killed the tension, and we laughed about it. I am safe."
"I just had a baby and now no one’s name is sacred in my house. Every cat’s, dog’s, or human’s name is Interchangeable with the others."
"Tell her you called her name while having sex with your ex and you're just trying to even everything out."
"Perfectly balanced, as all things should be."
"Just say you're sorry and you didn't mean it, but don't expect that she will get over it easily."'
"This seems like the most sensible answer. My answer was basically grovelling, grovel and grovel some more and hope she can forgive you but don't expect that to happen right away but definitely expect to hear it in every argument for a few years to come as well."
#1 AnswerLouis Litt Genius GIF by SuitsGiphy
"The only way to salvage this is at the time by adding ' ...was never this good!'"
Be better y'all. It's an intimate moment and your partner deserves the basest level of respect that come with knowing their name.
Do you have other ideas to share in the unfortunate event of this happening? Let us know in the comments below.