Most relationships fail because of a lack of trust and openness. Entering into a personal, romantically linked relationship means bare your soul to someone else because, without that kind of transparency, they might never trust you. Some people don't have any problems with this, leading a life most open books would be jealous of. However, not everyone is confident with shining a light on their biggest flaws and mysteries.
Reddit user, u/Trxxi, wanted to know what you won't say to your spouse when they asked:
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Bodily functions. More specifically bathroom time. I shut the door. Every. Single. Time. She don't give a damn. Wide a-- open.
I don't care how long I'm with someone and how close we are, I just like privacy in the bathroom. No need for him to see it all.
My dog likes to poop on the roof top balcony while I work from home around 1130am. She gets excited and comes and asks to be let out. She does her business and goes and naps. I pick it up and flush it.
It's been our thing for months now.
We have a back yard, the dog does poop there many many times. The dog gets walks. Plenty of pooping time in her life. But it's her routine now, to come into my work area about 1130am, asks to get let out of the balcony door, poops then naps. It seems to make her happy to poop there.
Spouse does not know, nor would he approve of the roof top balcony poops.
That I write a bit of erotica on the side. She'd be thrilled and supportive, but I'm just too embarrassed.
How many Synonyms for the word "Hard" do you know?
This One Actually Seems Really Helpful
The reason I'm so good at gifts and they seem so thoughtful is that I keep a list on my phone for whenever she says she wants or likes something. It seems like I have this great memory, but instead I just wrote it down when you said it 6 months ago.
I extended it into the in-laws to help on holidays, as we usually send from the both of us.
This One Is Probably The Most Common Secret
There's one thing that I hide from my wife. My god damn phone charger. I swear to Odin she can not keep up with a charger. I'm down to one charger I take with me to different rooms. If I don't need it, I hide it in my closet. Like a child.
I have to be nearly the same way. I've taped the communal den charger to the wall with electrical tape. He knows I will murder him if he touches mine. And how does he need a new car cable every few months? What are you doing to the poor things that they fray?????
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When I used to go away on 2-week long work trips, EVERY damn time I got home, my wife and daughter had always gone through ALL the toilet paper. Could never finally just get home and take a peaceful quiet...break.
So finally I just started hording toilet paper from the hotels I stayed at, hiding them high in the back of the closet. They never knew.
Confronting The Potential End
The depths of my fears and frustrations about having cancer, and the fatalistic jokes I make about it. I don't share them with my husband because he's having a hard time with my diagnosis. His wife has cancer! It's eventually gonna kill her! He's obviously stressed out about the whole situation.
Instead, I share my darker and more irrational thoughts with a psychologist at the cancer center.
He doesn't need to know every worst-case scenario that my anxiety comes up with. He does need to know that I have a will and an MDPOA, and where they are, in case sh-t actually goes sideways. He doesn't like to hear me joke about my three quarter life crisis or silly funeral ideas, so I don't do it when he's around. He doesn't need to know about my poop. If it gets to the point where he DOES need to know about it, I'll look into hiring a nurse or CNA to make his life and his job as a caregiver easier.
Bring Them In To Help The Pain
I've been binge eating for the last several years. I would get banana bread, cake, loaves of bread, entire meals at Indian restaurants, containers of ice cream, etc and eat whatever it was in the car and then throw away the evidence before going home. A couple months ago I finally told him what I've been doing. So he started running errands for me or coming with me or letting me drag my son everywhere with me. It's helped.
A few days ago I decided that I wasn't going to hide anything anymore and brought home a container of mango sorbet. I've eaten less than 1/4 of it over three days. Before I would have eaten the entire 800 calorie container plus a loaf of banana bread in the car in one sitting, and would have done that maybe more than once.
It's so brave of you to share that with your partner! I'm glad you are starting to feel better.
She thinks I don't pee in the shower, but I sometimes do.
That I dread coming home after work, or sitting at the dinner table with her, or dealing with her crankiness when she goes to bed. Depression changes people. It makes them selfish, sensitive, defeated, and highly irritable. I understand depression enough to know it's largely not her fault. She was entirely different before the depression set in.
If I hint in any way how hard it is to be around her, she breaks down and can't function. So I smile, listen, and pretend I'm happy to be around her, for her sake.
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The fact that I'll propose to her in a few weeks! Good thing she doesn't use any social media
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