When one is soiled, one is soiled and when you're soiled you gotta get that butt clean. Whether you have a sink nearby or a toilet at Port Authority (pray it's never the latter) wash up whenever you can. The air we breathe is warped with soot and filth so if any other bacteria attaches to you, wash it away. Now the process in which you choose to do this may not be the most, by definition, "hygienic" choice... do what you gotta do.
get the hose....Giphy
I jumped into what was essentially sewer runoff, chest high swirling river of poop, to pull out a four year old boy who had fallen in.
It was in Mexico and next to the site I was working. Kid just fell in and I jumped in after him since the sewage was over his head. Managed to cut my leg open too, so I had to go to the hospital and get a tetanus shot.
Kid was fine, pulled him out, mom hosed him off and sent him back to playing.
When the puss is running...
I once examined a patient's leg wound without gloves on; looking for fluctuant areas that might indicate an abscess. Bad idea. Next thing my finger pierces the skin (thinned from necrosis and under tension from the pus) and was actually gliding up under the skin. In the split second it took me to realize this an inordinate amount of puss came streaming out onto my hand and arm. Took several minutes to compose myself afterwards. Very nearly wretched a number of times. I'm also pretty sure I finished an entire bottle of hibiscrub washing my hands repeatedly.
As a kid. Don't know why I took a swig from a random soda can left at the sink in a public laundry mat. Turns out it had been used as an ash tray and possibly dip spittoon.
To the Dumpster.
Once when my roommate was using the bathroom and I needed to poop *right away* and I didn't want to deal with her bull trying to convince her I needed to use the bathroom worse than her I went into the kitchen and ripped 4 sheets of paper towel off the roll, went to my room and closed the door, folded the paper towels to in a double layer, and took a poop on the paper towel. Miraculously, it all landed perfectly on the paper towel and I was able to fold it up and put it in a plastic grocery bag and tie it off like a gigantic dog poop and take it out to throw away in the dumpster outside.
Damn Junior Mints.Giphy
9 years old, Dropped a milk dud in the movie theatre so pushed my hand the seats to find it. Found it proceeded to eat it and it was a damn junior mint.
Scars me to this day.
boys & their M & M's....
I was in Boy Scouts when I was a teenager. We were on a week long backpacking trip. As teens do... We started making stupid bets/dares.
One was, "Who can do the grossest thing to an M&M and then eat it?"
I took off the boots I had been hiking in. Took off my funky sock (soaked in swamp water). Wrung it out on a few M&Ms in my hand. And ate the handful of M&Ms and whatever puddle of swamp water was in my palm.
Out with the Cow.
While doing a rectal exam to make a pregnancy diagnosis in cow, it managed to poo directly into my open mouth.
Salmonella & Snot...
Not me, but a buddy of mine was in a fight with his GF, she was saying he always under cooks the chicken, and she's going to get salmonella. So he takes a raw drumstick and slurps the meat off the bone out of spite.
Slumped over the toilet...
College: I was drunk and high and all those things and decided my hands didn't work.
Our dorms had a shared bathroom and I was in the stalls, hoping to puke in the toilet. I thought "man it would be rude of me to puke all over the seat, I better put it up just in case"
Since my hands didn't work, I grabbed the seat with my teeth and put it up.
Never puked though.
Edit: Kind of embarrassed this got so visible. Thanks for the gold and silver. To answer the most frequently asked question, I was really messed up, sitting on the floor, slumped over the toilet. Standing up and using my feet didn't seem like a viable option at the time. Don't do drugs kids.
When I was a toddler, I crawled into the cat box and started playing in the "sand." Mom of course had to get pictures before stopping her kid from playing with cat poop.
Be it to impress a first date, prospective in-laws, or one's boss, many people have a tendency to overcompensate, or adjust their normal behavior.
This is all done in the hopes that they'll impress these people by showing off their enormous wealth, remarkable intelligence or the like.
In doing so, however, their efforts to impress don't often succeed.
In fact, they might inadvertently find themselves putting these people off, resulting in an even bigger uphill battle than they began with.
Redditor NeonRunaway was curious to hear what things people tend to falsely believe come off as appealing to others, leading them to ask:
"What’s not nearly as attractive as people think?"
Your voice is the only thing about you that's deep...
"Dudes that are trying to do deep voice because of TikToks."- ashucream
Eventually, they'll stop chasing...
"Playing hard to get."- groovy604
I must be right if I'm talking this loud!
"Loud, assertive confidence."
"When you're not an expert on the topic."- Hullaba-LooSeason 2 Ugh GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
I can smell your desperation from a mile away...
"Guys who drown themselves in cologne."- shoegazer44
You can impress me in other ways
"I am told that exotic sex positions are incredible awkward and physically difficult which will turn you off quickly."- Psychological_Dish75
I'm rich, therefor I must be desirable!
I" have a buddy who is constantly showing off his cars, watches, and shoes."
"He’s single and I’m convinced he’s doing all that to find a girl."
"It's not as impressive or attractive as he thinks it is."- dkwatkins28Balling Andy Samberg GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
Why has it become so difficult to talk?
"Those horrendous jacked up lips everyone is getting."
"Y’all look like you’ve had an allergic reaction."- Gr00vemovement
"Those massive lips."
"Just looks like you got stung by a bee."- level 1dana_ranger
The viral sensation that feels more like a virus...
"Tiktok boys biting their lip and rubbing their hands."
"One woman who stitched one boy like that said it right: you look like a housefly."
"Stop it."- Somniatora
Confidence, not arrogance
"People hear 'confidence is attractive', and think its attractive to be a huge obnoxious d*ck who thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't care about how they treat others."
"Confidence in yourself, like knowing who you are, what you like and being okay with it is attractive."- pancakepegasusMusic Video Good Job GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy
The best way to make a strong first impression is by showing others who you really and truly are.
Not by simply showing off.
Sometimes the best way to keep a relationship is to keep quiet.
We all have little quirks and secrets that are ours alone.
And maybe it's best they stay that way.
Who is it gonna hurt?
RedditorSingleReporterwanted to hear what bits of information many us don't let on about to the nearest and dearest. They asked:
"What things should be kept private from your SO, no matter how healthy your relationship is?"
Not every detail and truth needs to be heard. Trust me, I speak from experience.
FavoritesDog GIF by ViralHogGiphy
"That you know you’re the Pet’s favorite person."
"Oof, I am absolutely both of our dogs favorite person. We both know it but I would never ever say that to my wife."
"No matter how healthy a relationship is, there'll always come a time where you have resentful thoughts of your spouse. Those should be kept to yourself, as most of them pass quickly. The only time you should share them is if they're persisting in some behavior that is hurting you, and then it should be done calmly and not in the heat of the moment."
"For instance, if you got home from work tired to find your spouse binge watching a TV show, but the sink is full of dirty dishes, the impulse may be to lace into them. Don't. Go ahead and do the dishes, and tomorrow, when that initial flash of anger has passed, discuss the issue."
"People say arguments can be healthy in a relationship, but it all comes down to how you argue. Spouses, at least if they're good ones, know intimate details about you, your past, and how you think and feel. This gives them weapons to hurt you, and it may be tempting to use such weapons when angry. But if you know your spouse has a sore spot about their dad, and you say in anger 'this is why your dad never loved you,' you have permanently damaged your relationship."
"And that damage builds up over time. Successful relationships survive because people rein themselves in in that moment. Even when they're angry, they don't want to inflict wounds like that. So whenever the impulse arises to use those weapons in anger, resist the temptation! You may forget what you did quickly, but they won't."
"If your relationship started under potentially offensive pretenses (e.g. they were madly in love w/ you but you they were just the your rebound)."
"An old friend of mine's gf told him this. I was there when it happened, and I swear to God I saw his heart break. They were really good together and really liked each other, so he tried to keep going, but I watched it eat him from the inside out until he just couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her. There really are some things you just can't take back."
"Where I hide the secret, spare pair of scissors I keep for when he's lost all the other 11 pairs of scissors we own and I need to trim a chip bag down to make getting to the chips easier."
"I had a pair of nail clippers stashed away because they were never where they were supposed to be. After my wife passed away I found 9 pairs! In her desk drawers, in purses she hadn’t used in years - 3 pair in with her makeup."
StrategyNaval Battle Navy GIF by World of WarshipsGiphy
"The location of your ships while playing Battleship."
If we are in competition... in my eyes... you are only a casualty.
No Touchepisode 9 search GIFGiphy
"My dad has mentioned a few times that in their 40+ years of marriage, he’s never gone in her top dresser drawer or purse."
"Sometimes, no matter how attractive your partner is to you and no matter how much you love them, there is an aspect to them that is unchangeable but that you find gross or annoying or just generally less than attractive. Clogged nose pores, a laugh that sounds like a muppet, big toe nails that just look a little bit weird, or that single long hair growing from inside their ear that just keeps coming back no matter what they do. If it’s going to make them feel insecure or unloved, this is something you should just keep to yourself."
"In a relationship, you learn each other’s weak points and vulnerabilities, and using them against your partner is a boundary that, once you cross it, you can’t come back from. Once you make someone feel like they can’t trust you with their vulnerable self, your relationship is on its way out."
"how did it go?"
"Your psychologist/therapy sessions. I had an ex that used to demand I tell him what I talked about in my sessions and it was super uncomfortable. With my current partner we are both in therapy and if it's a phone session the other goes in a different room. If we want to talk about something we told the psych or something we will tell our psych at the next appointment we do."
"But I would never ask and nor would he. We might ask 'how did it go?' To which the other may say 'it was good' or 'it was emotionally draining,' but that's as far as it should go. (These are personal sessions, not couples therapy, we're not in that)."
Go to Sleep...
"The unkind crap you think when you're angry and tired, it will absolutely never help at all to say any of it out loud and even if you don't have a particularly big fight or break up over it you'll still regret it and they'll still remember. Possibly also what you think about how hot other people are, depending on how jealous/insecure your SO is."
LOLzzzsarcastic well done GIF by CBCGiphy
"My steady supply of jokes. I set up my android to send me a joke every night at 5 pm and I tell it to my husband later on, before i jump in the shower. He always asks where I'm getting this stuff from and I just laugh and shut the bathroom door I would like him to continue thinking of me as this endless joke fairy for the rest of our lives :)."
See there... sometimes omission is the only lie.
It takes next to nothing to ruin a person these days.
When people are a hot mess it's easier to expose nowadays.
Be careful how you act. Because everything you've built, facade or not, can crumble.
Redditor ChadGeraltofRiviawanted to discuss some very important life lessons. They asked:
"Warren Buffet said, 'It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.' What's a real-life example of this?"
Reputation is everything. And it's fragile. But just try to be your best self and you should be fine. Maybe.
Bye BrookeReal Housewives Goodbye GIFGiphy
"Youtuber Brooke Houts. Uploaded a wrong video, in which she was abusing her dog."
"Artesian builds. CEO destroyed the entire company by deciding a winner of their raffle wasn't 'popular enough' to get the prize."
The best and most ironic part of this? Their sh**ty attitude towards the winner meant that a bunch of companies went to the winner and offered them a free PC and sponsorship."
"Thus giving the winner way more than they'd otherwise have won and ensuring that those other companies signed on a trending streamer due to their publicity in the incident. Artesian literally hamstrung themselves and handed their competition all their business."
"Had a teacher in high school that everyone loved. He always helped kids who were being bullied, fully sat down with us and tried to mediate any conflict in groups as well. No one had a bad thing to say about him. One day a news story breaks that a teacher was caught filming up girls. Next day our favourite teacher had taken a few 'personal days.'"
"Everyone defended him saying it was only a coincidence that he was gone. We knew it was him when they started talking to girls from our school. They found footage of underage girls on his work laptop, 99% were students. Destroyed his career, family and life."
'Communicator of the Year'
"Kelly Blazek used to run a closed job board for Cleveland area openings, mostly marketing-related. A young professional dm’d her on LinkedIn and her nasty response was so profoundly awful it went viral. I think she even had a 'communicator of the year' award revoked."
"After all this, I think she fell off the face of the internet. She went from someone who functioned as a clearing house for job listings to a household name due to her unprofessional behavior. Article: https://www.cnn.com/2014/02/27/tech/web/linked-in-cleveland-job-bank/index.html"
Don't LieGIF by Big BrotherGiphy
"At one point, Ryan Lochte was arguably on the way to becoming as big in the swimming world as Michael Phelps. Then his lies about being robbed at the Olympics torched his reputation and career."
Oh Ryan... what were you thinking? Were you thinking?
Nice Suitsad natalia kills GIFGiphy
"That X Factor judge who told a contestant, wearing a SUIT that he was trying to copy her husband lmfao. I think Natalia Kills was her name."
"On the Gold Coast in Australia, the theme park Dreamworld lost all it’s reputation after 4 people died in an accident."
I didn’t remember hearing about this so I looked into it. Tragic. 3 of the 4 people killed were in the same family (brother/sister/brothers boyfriend).
"Then, several years later, the sisters husband seems to have committed suicide by intentionally entering floodwaters:"
"A former boss in the Army did it. He was son of a general, airborne ranger, and had a family right out of stepford wives. He was the 'perfect' soldier and family man. Until one day it was found out he was banging an interpreter he met in Iraq.
"He hid this for a number of years, but it was eventually discovered that he was flying her all around Europe on US Air Force planes in order to keep her close and keep it a secret from his wife."
"The Army found out and he was forced into retirement and had to pay several hundred thousand to cover the cost of the misappropriated aircraft. The divorce proceedings were quite comical as well. Made the military newspapers and everything."
'Institute of Directors'
"Gerald Ratner. At one time 'Ratners' were a nationwide chain of jewelry shops in the UK, they were known as an 'affordable' jewelry shop. In 1991 he was a guest at the 'Institute of Directors' and made a speech where he called the stuff sold by his shops, 'total Crap.'"
"A popular range of earrings was described as being cheaper than a prawn sandwich and compounded it by saying the prawn sandwich would last longer. Shares in the company dropped like a stone and he was fired by the majority company shareholders."
In an Instantseason 5 morphine GIF by BBCGiphy
"Had a supervisor who decided to get blitzed on morphine and alcohol before writing a racist, incomprehensible, unprofessional email and sending it to every subordinate. Every single person turned against him, and he was gone from his job really quickly after that. (And he was tenured and everything). Happened in an instant."
Be better. Don't let life ruin who you are. It only takes an instant to take down who you are.
Nowadays, one must always be hyper-aware about the situations they get themselves into.
Scams are on the rise more than ever, especially during the pandemic when random phone calls preyed on the gullible and the elderly and persuaded them to give an exorbitant amount of money in order to avoid various consequences.
But suspicious dealings are also prevalent in already familiar situations that appear legit but are not.
In an effort to raise awareness, Redditor Diligent-Log6805 asked:
"What's a modern day scam that's become normalized that we don't realize it's a scam anymore?"
Beware. Some institutions are trying to take advantage of you and have a sneaky way of doing it.
"Employers insisting that employees not talk about their salaries AND job listings not posting salaries."
Credit Score Scam
"They started in 1989 and are designed to encourage debt."
You Don't Know You're Even A Member
"Everything is a sneaky small monthly subscription."
"This is getting ridiculous. A one time payment for an app or game used to be fine. Now you keep paying. Terrible for the consumer."
Keep Track Of What You're Joining
"Free trial auto renewal subscriptions."
More To Pay
"subscriptions for already-paid apps."
Never rely on the face value of things purchased online.
You'll find that after the transaction is done, you're hit with some surprises that managed to slip past your radar.
The Fine Print
"Hidden fees. Especially in the medical and hospitality industries."
Enjoy Your Stay
"Resort fees at hotels."
An Annoying Practice
"Similarly, those U-Hauls that say '$20.00 a day!' I have never been able to rent a U-Haul for less than $100. Which is fine. I know that's what it costs. But the bait and switch is annoying."
If You Complain Enough, It Works In Your Favor
"I stayed at a hotel in Boston and they had a $30 per day charge that wasn't included in the price when we booked online. 'destination charge' or something. They told us that we got a credit at the restaurant because of it so we shrugged it off."
"The next morning we tried to use the credit and they told us it was only good for dinner. I went to the front desk after we ate and told them to reverse the charge. They said they couldn't. I politely said they could. They did. Saved us $120 that trip."
"Transaction fees when using online banking. I do all the work filling out the form so a bank employee doesn’t have too, yet I get charged the same."
"'Admin fees' for completely automated services."
Using Toll Roads In Australia
"In Australia if you use a toll road and don’t have a toll account, you get sent a toll notice with an added $10 admin fee. And if you don’t pay it within the requested time frame the admin fee goes up to $20. A $2.50 toll could end up costing you $22.50. Scam…"
Try backing out of something you decided to sign up for. It's like a roach motel. You can get in but you can never get out.
It's Always Easy To Join
"Not being able to cancel a subscription online. I can subscribe in 5 minutes but I need to call your service agents and am forced to be rude to them to cancel it because as long as my voice sounds friendly they try to resell the damn subscription."
"Try canceling a gym membership. Some want you to prove you've moved more than 25 miles away before they'll cancel you even when your contract is up. And unless you actively cancel the contract when it expires, they'll automatically renew your contract."
From A Different Perspective
"My wife and I took over ownership of a small, local yoga studio a couple years ago (ended up being terrible timing, as we took over about the time Covid started up). But one of our first tasks (started before we even took over) was replacing the old, terrible member management system."
"We wanted, among other things, for members to have the ability to sign up for a membership (which was easy enough) and edit or cancel their membership at will, on their own, with no interaction from us. We looked at probably dozens of systems, and not a single one had the ability for members to easily change membership levels or cancel their membership."
"I get that a lot of people want to make it harder to cancel as an effort to discourage cancelations, but it's ridiculous that so many softwares don't even give the option. Our philosophy was to keep members by keeping them happy, not by making it a pain in the a** to cancel."
I remember buying concert tickets from Ticketmaster and was offended after seeing all the service involved. It's highway robbery.
I've since found better, more reasonable deals, through second-hand markets like eBay. Yeah, even scalpers know they're not as bad as certain online ticketing agents.
As frustrating as it is though, obtaining a product or service is difficult unless you resort to paying those well-hidden fees.
Just remember to keep track of any memberships to services you've joined that are still charging you monthly, even though you think you've canceled them.