People Divulge Their Most Mortifying Sex Experiences

Knowable

I'm better now!

Sex is a splendid thing. But sex is often far from a perfect experience. Mistakes will happen and nature will happen while in the throws of passion. It's not always like the movies... heck, it's rarely ever like the movies. You're gonna get elbowed and knocked out now and again, learn form it and move on. Embrace the connection more and not the act, grow from there.

Redditor u/_morgie wanted to see who would be willing share about some sexual experiences gone awry... we've ALL been there... by asking..... What's your most embarrassing sex story?

Seen from Above....

Giphy

My girlfriend and I went on a picnic by canoe out to a island where there would have been no one around for at least a few kilometers. Long story short she starts on me, which went on for a few minutes until I start to hear a strange noise getting louder. All of a sudden a search and rescue helicopter flies over the treeline and comes to a stop above us. It stayed there for a few seconds before turning around and flying back in the direction it came from. kshelley31

Bad Dog. 

Was home for summer from college. My neighbor and I had been secretly hooking up for a little bit, and she had been over a few days before when my parents were gone. Came home one day, and my mom was staring daggers at me. She said 'you have a mess to clean up, because I'm not doing it'.

I had no clue what she was talking about, then she said to go look under the dining room table. Underneath it, was a used condom that I had thrown into the bathroom trash can wrapped in toilet paper. My dog thought it would be cool to bring it downstairs and chew on it under the table. dirtybirds233

Whoops.... 

Was going really crazy. Pushed a little bit too hard and farted right as I came.

A girlfriend might have laughed it off. My Tinder date did not. DMmetheClit

I'm just imagining the sound effects, and can't stop laughing 😂. SpiralDreaming

Snoozed....

Giphy

My GF and I suffered through a nine month long distance relationship and one time after a long travel day to see her, I was performing on her. Well jet lag hit me pretty hard and I fell asleep, face down in between her legs. jlamoureux87

Milk It....

Once dated a chef. One night when he made dinner he went waaaay too heavy on the cayenne pepper to season the chicken (with his bare hands if you see where this is going). Later things get steamy and within 2 seconds of him putting his fingers on me, I jump up screaming in pain as it feels like someone opened up the gates of hell in my vagina... I spent the next hour hovering over the bidet naked while flushing out my area with milk and we're laughing about it until his roommate decides to open the bathroom door without knocking and just stares at us. tjsbeancheeseburrito

Safety First.

Giphy

Tried to pick a girl up and lay her down on a bed. Failed miserably. It was dark. We were slightly drunk. Slammed her head onto bedside table and knocked her out. 15 years later, she still sends an occasional selfie wearing a helmet. iEbutters

Thanks Richard. 

With an ex-gf of mine a few years back, whenever we wanted to get down to business we usually put something on Netflix in the background. That day we put on Planet Earth.

Anyways right when we were really getting going, we heard an ungodly noise coming from the TV, and we looked proceeded to watch David Attenborough narrate the mating process of Bactrian Camels, which involved slapping their own butts with their tails.

We burst into laughter and couldn't continue. zanyquack

I can hear you.... 

We were staying with my boyfriend's family for Christmas. It was my first time meeting them. The second night of our stay, I sneaked out of my boyfriend's room with only his big hoodie on after sexy times to pee. His mother was standing behind the toilet door when I came out and said: "You know, these walls are VERY thin... Anyway, you want something to eat?" tuulfit

Thanks 8F.....

Tinder date got off onto my floor of my apartment building but was WASTED and forgot which apartment was mine so she started yelling my name as loud as she could. I opened my door to see all my neighbors standing in their doorway staring at her.

She had a 6 pack of wine coolers in one hand and her heels in another. I told her to get in my apartment quickly and started apologizing to everyone else. Most just rolled their eyes and shut their doors but the dude across the hall started clapping. Thanks 8F. FBIFreezeDontMove

Broken....

Giphy

She is on top, then I get the most painful leg cramp in my hamstrings so much I yelled in pain. She started panicking as she thought she broke my penis. gopeepants

REDDIT

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