Humans are full of contradictions.
Everyone supports constantly striving for happiness, yet we often associate pleasure with a feeling of guilt.
Perhaps it all comes from the Puritan beginnings of America. All those “pleasures" were the devil's way of making people forget God.
But that conclusion runs out of steam quick when we consider contemporary times. Surely those guilt-inducing sermons didn't have hotly debated ear-cleaning methods in the brain.
Yet for all the distance from that past, and all the unwritten restrictions we've shed over the years, we still feel our tiny excitements ought to remain a secret.
These Redditors, anonymous on the internet, took the chance to get some weird pleasures of their chests
the_quietkid69 asked, "What's your guilty pleasure?"
One Click Away
"Window shopping online. I'll add everything I could want to my cart, look at the total, then exit the page." -- BonnieRagsdale
"Yeah, and then they send you an email 2 days later with a coupon for 20% off (lookin' at you Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic)." -- monkeyeight8
"I bet the NSA gather around when you online with a bag of popcorn taking bets on if you gunna check out or not." -- Fancy-Tension
A Very Large table for One
"Ordering 3 orders of Crab Rangoon for myself." -- ExistingReflection
"I have been scheming to get an air fryer purely so I can make myself baskets of Crab Rangoon." -- Zekumi
"I'm not seeing the problem." -- javanator999
Vacationing in the Grotesque
"Reading Wikipedia articles about serial killers, psychopaths, mysterious deaths, etc...." -- PaolaPaolucci
"Hope you do so on Incognito mode." -- ty0103
"Oh so you've heard about me." -- slappyslappyyandere
Get In There
"Cleaning my ears with q-tips...I know I know, they're not supposed to go in your ears but maybe if someone didn't put my g-spot in my f*cking ear canal then it wouldn't be so damn pleasurable!"
Those End of Days Riffs...
"Anime opening and closing themes. Some of those songs are just so good. And they bring back memories of the feelings I had while watching the shows." -- Morolan
"Relatable. My parents keep asking me how I understand what they're saying and it's hard to explain how watching it 500 times will make you memorize the subtitles." -- CapaxInfini
"I didn't realize this was something I should be guilty about, lol." -- BaoZedong
Conflict for the Conflict Avoidant
"Watching fight videos on the internet. Usually ones that end in knockouts or knockdowns."
"I don't really care for the brutal ones though, like where they slam someone's head on concrete or keep beating on an unconscious person."
Munching on the Side
"Eating fruit snacks."
"I often find a separate room away from people to eat them, although my SO has very sensitive ears which can sometimes hear the crinkling of the wrapper from quite far away - this increases the guilt as she will come in and accuse me of denying her while demanding I hand some over."
Taking Pleasure Seriously
"But like... not any hot dog will do. I have a very low tolerance for low quality buns mind you, so that can be a real deal-breaker when consuming said sausages. The meat I have more tolerance for low quality, but high quality just makes it that much better."
Can’t Argue with 4/4 Time
"Taylor Swift. Teenage die hard metal head me would die hearing me say that, but I will unironically enjoy me some T-Swift." -- el_pobbster
"Ugh, same. I love Taylor. She just knows how to write a pop song." -- princessblowhole
Take a Load of Guilt Off
"Using the fact that it's raining as an excuse to do exactly what I was going to do anyways." -- MxChamp24
"Doing nothing, just relaxing at home. Not worrying about anything. Always fell as if I've wasted the day though." -- NightJellyFish
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.