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Breakups are rarely a happy or enjoyable thing. Sometimes it's a mutual decision and both parties remain amicable, but more often than not things crash and burn.

Usually there is a really good reason for breaking up, but other times that reason doesn't become super apparent until after the breakup.

*Content warning: This article contains descriptions of abusive relationships.*


Reddit user u/ysquaredwhynot asked:

"What's your ex from hell story?

10.

My ex bought a new phone and lost all his numbers. Asked me to text him so he can save my number again. As him and I drive home I text him "hey sexy, what's up?" and he responds "hey can't talk right now. I'll text you back in 5."

I figure he's messing with me and forget about it. As soon as we get home he goes to the bathroom. A moment later my phone lights up:

Ex: "so hey. What's up?" Me: "uhm... not much, you?" Ex: "super horny. Wanna meet up tonight?" Me: "why not right now? Horny too." Ex: "ok will try to make it ASAP. Cool?" Me: "yeah"

A moment later he comes out of the bathroom for the following conversation:

Ex: "I'm actually just gonna head home I think. Don't feel too good. Is that ok?"

Me: "uhm ok..."

Ex: "oh but can you text me real quick so I have your number?"

Me: "sure...."

I send him a text while we stand in the same room: "Hi."

Him: "f*ck."

I forgot what exactly happened afterwards but I vaguely remember removing him forcefully from my apartment...

A real keeper, that one.

-germanthoughts

9.

My ex just got out on bail for running over and beating a girl with a crowbar because she thought she was sleeping with her man. The girl she beat is now in a vegetative state.

Thank god I got out of that one early.

-Oneblood502

8.

Found out after two years that she was engaged. Yeah.

-jwood59

How'd she keep that charades up?

-ysquaredwhynot

I tend to trust people more than I should. I had suspicions but didn't pry. She was seeing him behind my back and he asked her to marry him. Explains why she turned my proposal down. Anyways long story short they basically took off together and got hitched.

-jwood59

7.

She asked me to do a triathlon her brother was doing and she was going to watch his son. I have never done one before but she told me she really thought it would be good for me and would be proud of me if i did it. So I did. It was a whole weekend camping trip. It rained the whole time.... we got there on Friday, I unpacked set up, cooked, cleaned and did everything the whole trip.

Her brother apparently forgot to register so it was just me doing the triathlon then, which was on Sunday. Woke up at 5am, jumped in the coldest water I have ever been in to start but finished it (it was a mini triathlon so like swim half a mile, 13 mile bike ride and a 5k run but still that’s a lot for me).

Anyway, ended went back to camp. She made me pack everything up, then told me if I could put the tent in the original cardboard box it was in, not just the bag it was in. When I said she was welcome to do it herself she told me her ex had no issue doing it (mind you I'm exhausted from, you know, the damn triathlon and she just watched me pack up everything alone). I put it in the box but ripped it halfway down. Didn't give a crap.

Drove the 3 hours home and she broke up with me on the car ride home because "she just didn't see any potential in me anymore". So yea good times.

-Bobbytom

It never fits back in the box.

IT DOESN'T

-Beardsupthewazoo

6.

So jealous and controlling he sent me hundreds of text messages calling me a sl*t and c**t one night. When I blocked him, he sent screenshots to my old phone too of the same messages.

Why, you ask?

Because I offered an elderly disabled man my seat on the train. A man of about 70, on crutches, who could barely stand. And apparently this made it was clear I wanted him, and that made me a sl*t.

Hopefully he's now getting the help he needs.

-Tilly828282

5.

My ex was jobless and lost his apartment so I let him stay with me temporarily to help him get back on his feet. I was a full time student, full time intern, and I was working part time as well. Turns out, he got a job, spent all his free time drinking his paycheck away, and I found cocaine in my apartment. I confronted him, and he finally showed his true colors and became physically abusive (in retrospect, there were plenty of signs and he was pretty psychologically abusive before that).

I was scared of what he would do, and I had pets also, so I decided to take him on a trip to his hometown. I woke up at 5am, snuck out of the hotel, took his key to my apartment, and left. That day, I moved all of his stuff into a storage unit and blocked his number. I heard from one of his ex coworkers that he ended up being arrested a couple months later for a couple felonies (fraud and identity theft.) haven't heard from him since and am in the healthiest relationship of my life thank god.

There is a whole lot more to this story that seems equally unbelievable. I still can't believe that all of this is part of my life. When I look back, it feels like a strangers life, not mine. It was hard to look myself in the mirror and forgive myself for all the sh!t I put myself through, but with a lot of time, and kindness, and support I was able to.

-smitten_mitten

4.

Hoh-boy.

My ex proposed to me publicly, at a bar, in front of all of our friends. He liked the way it went so well that he proposed to me two more times at two different bars (we were bar-hopping- LOL). In our hometown. In front of everyone we know. I said yes. Three times.

So, we set a date and I plan this whole wedding. Buy the dress, set up the hall and the catering. Flowers. Everything. The only jobs he had were to buy/rent tuxedos for himself and his groomsmen and find someone to marry us on the date we had chosen.

It was getting really close to our date and he hadn't done any of the things that he agreed to do. I finally confronted him about it, about a month before this whole event that I had planned, at which time he told me that he was not going to marry me and that he didn't think that I was going to take his proposal(s) so seriously and actually plan a wedding.

Three times. SMH.

I am happily married to someone else now.

-aubrey_25_99

3.

Literally just happened an hour ago. My boyfriend says he's going to get a pizza, comes home four hours later and tells me he had sex with another woman.

I've been helping his raise his son and have gotten very close to his family. My parents died when I was young and this is he first family I've had. and now I'm losing who I thought I would marry, his family, and have to move out. He never had the normal red flags. Devil in sheeps clothing. It's pretty hellish.

-Burritobabyy

2.

Put it this way: one of my fondest memories of her is the time she threw a microwave at me, because she was angry at me for forcing her to cheat on me, apparently.

It was still plugged in.

The microwave came within a foot or so of me, then the cord caught and yanked it right back towards her. We both lost it laughing and gave up on the fight.

That's the most wholesome memory I have of her after 8? years. The time she failed to beat my @ss with my own microwave. Everything else was sh*ttily calculated, selfish, or downright lazy.

-ginger_whiskers

1.

She told me (a bisexual woman) that she found it disgusting that I had slept with men before, that she didn't want to think about it, and that I was lucky she loved me in spite of this terrible fact.

She's dating a man now.

-TonyDanzer

If you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship and want to get out, or just someone to talk to, help is available.

For more information or to talk to someone who can help,

Call: 1 (800) 799-7233

Or visit: https://www.thehotline.org/

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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