You can't be serious? I have lost track of the amount of times I've said that to someone, and then nobody specific. The things that fall out of people's mouths can be shocking. Certain oratory moments make you regret having ears. Like how do some humans function? I wish more people would acquire restraint before they speak, or become a mute.
Redditor u/VandalM was hoping everyone would share all the things they wish they could un-hear by asking.... What is the outright dumbest thing you have heard someone say?PUSH....
Season 5 What GIF by FriendsGiphy"Pregnancy doesn't have to hurt. It's a myth that it does."
Stop the Babies!
From a pregnant girl in high-school:
"Smoking doesn't affect my baby because it hasn't developed its lungs yet."This was about 17 years ago. For a catholic school in small community we had surprisingly progressive sex education classes that started in fifth grade. Sex-ed was then taught as a part of the more general health classes that started in middle school and continued through to the end of high school.
As that was the case for us, I don't know what the answer is to cure that kind of ignorance.
many many many kids....
I work in bankruptcy. One day, a new potential client came in. He was in his mid 30s. He was a truck driver, and had been for about 15 years.
During this time, he'd fathered more than 10 children all over the United States, like he was setting up franchises, or something. However, he'd since settled down, gotten married, and he had two kids with his wife.
The only debt he had was unpaid child support, but it was in the amount of over $50K.
There was nothing we could do to help, as child support obligations can not be eliminated in a bankruptcy.
But at one point in the conversation, he actually said to me, "I can't afford all this child support, I've got a wife and kids!"
Yes sir, you do have a wife, and many, many, many kids. That is an accurate statement.
No Crusts
Judge Judy Reaction GIF by Agent M Loves GifsGiphyWhen you toast white bread it gets healthier for you because it turns it brown like whole wheat bread.
Edit: same guy told me I should put my TV on a stand and off the floor because the heat from the TV will coagulate around the bottom and around the TV and mess it up. Yes he used coagulate.
Look out Below
One guy tried to prove to me that you can jump out of a falling plane when it is low above the ground and survive by doing a somersault.
Someone once told me that as long as you land on your side you will survive. I think if I'm ever in a situation where I'm falling with no parachute with no chance of being saved, I'll do a somersault and land on my side. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Language Arts
"You know, if we had lost the Revolutionary War, we'd all be speaking English right now."
I was once in a lift* in Vegas and the most yokel redneck I have ever seen asked my mate where we were from and then followed.it up with a classic...
"Oh ya'll from England, what language do you speak there?"
I had no follow up
- You may know this as an 'elevator' but you are wrong. Engels33
Let's Pray
Catholics weren't Christians and didn't celebrate Easter.
When my very Catholic dad came across anti semitism in a book he was reading to me and my little siblings, he would stop reading, point to our pictures of Mary and Jesus that we had, and remind us that all the first Christians were, in fact, Jewish.
friday the 13th 80s GIFHow Healthy
My flatmate saw me scraping the burnt bits off my last piece of toast. She gasped with horror and shrieked,
"OMG do you have any idea how carcinogenic that is?!"
I suggested she go finish her breakfast cigarette outside and then we'd have a conversation about carcinogens.
game of thrones deal with it GIFSounds Like....
'Q... for cucumber'
W for Why.
A for Are.
E for Eye or Ex.
C for Cue.
The "Eyes" Have It...
saturday the 14th bats GIFGiphyWas working retail and tried to make a joke with a customer that I had "eyes like a bat".
He chuckled, I thought all was well until he looked up at me and said, "Bats don't have eyes."
Shook me to my core.
When have YOU had to work?
"If someone can't find a job I don't see why they just don't go back to school, get a degree, and apply for better jobs."
Guy was 27, very sheltered from a wealthy family, and had no clue that you need income for the time you're in school.
Kick on top was he thought all colleges everywhere in the U.S (where he lived) were free. He thought they were like public libraries, just walk in, grab books and sign up for whatever classes you want.
Location. Location. Location.
My ex-gf once asked why the nazis went through the hassle of the Anschluß, because "Austria is a different country, and how did the Army even get here when they only invaded France later?"
Apparently she mixed up the location of France and Germany her whole life.
We're Austrian. We don't even have a French border.
Freaky Treat
hocus pocus halloween GIFGiphyWouldn't it be funny if Halloween fell on Friday the 13th?
Go Away #2....
While sharing random facts to welcome a new coworker. This is a verbatim quote.
Coworker 1: I was born dead.
Coworker 2 (genuinely concerned): OMG! Did you survive?!
collective pause and staring
Coworker 2: ... that was the dumbest thing I've ever said.
Up in the Sky
From a grown, 30-something year old woman (I was 22 at the time)
That the moon and sun were the same celestial body. Just at night it's not as bright, because it's night time.
She started crying when I simply pointed up at the moon in the daytime sky, then to the sun in a different part of the sky.
I felt bad. I didn't mean to make her cry. But, Damn!
"the dark body"
That Earth is hollow and we live inside. Sun and moon are small balls in the middle. Also there is "dark body", that would be the night. Reason why we can't see sun or moon all the time is, because light does to travel in a straight line, but in spiral and at night sun is hiding behind this black body.
Slow the Puff Bruh
Dog Dude GIFGiphy10 years ago a friend of mine argued there are more babies on Earth than adults. His reasoning being babies are born every day, adults die every day.
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Actually worrying about anything being "cool"!
"Being cool."
"Actually for me it was around 35, because I like banging my head into a wall."
"But others started realizing earlier than me."
"Everyone I knew started realizing that all of the things I thought were cool when we were 20 were actually really, really dumb and unimportant and weren't interested in them anymore."
"And I'm not even married or have kids, I can't imagine how stupid the sh*t I was into would seem if I had a family."
"However, video games I played when I was young still seem cool to literally everyone my age, so that didn't change even though I expected it would."
Early to bed, early to rise... or at least early to bed...
"I value my sleep a lot more at 30 than I did at 29."
"It scares me."
"I’m not in my twenties anymore but life is good."- arcanehavok743
Tired Jet Lag GIFYeah...I'll just have one glass
"Hangovers."- writer_rat
I'll pay up for convenience.
"Teenager/early 20’s: 'yo we can save money by booking the 7am return flight and not paying for accommodation - lets just stay at the club until 5am or sleep on the airport floor!'"
"30yo: I’d rather die."- Gravesens1stTouch
I'll be transparent, and I'll honor my plans!
"Bailing on plans last minute."
"If you don’t want to do something, just say so."- freakanature
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphyDude, we graduated over ten years ago!
"Bragging about your high school accomplishments."- Hysterical_Realist
Yeah... I'll get my own...
"Sleeping 8 to a hotel room to save money."- UrDraco
So this is what it's like to have a savings account...
"Spending all your money at the bar on payday."- deputytech
Paying Make It Rain GIF by TravisGiphyLife is meant to be enjoyed.
"Here's some prospective from way in your future."
"I'm 64."
"When I was in my 50's my motto was, 'Oh, well'."
"I have 2 mottoes for my 60's."
"'Anyway, doesn't matter', and 'I don't need that stress in my life'."
"It's a great place to live."
Our tastes and interests change with each passing year.
Hence why staying up till 5am drinking straight from the bottle and eating nothing but potato chips might not have the same appeal.
Though no one should look back on those moments with shame or embarrassment.
After all, a good time was had by all, and that's what your 20s were for.
Not everyone wins the parent lottery.
It's a hard road when you have parents who don't support you or are openly hostile to you.
And the nonsense and cruelty can be subtle.
Sometimes it's the subtlety that's worse.
Redditorsnoofle-sciencewanted to discuss the ways we can all tell how others we're brought up by people who maybe should've rethought breeding. They asked:
"What is a sign you grew up with shi**y parents?"
I got lucky with my parent but I feel others who got the opposite.
Center of...
Ill Do It 30 Rock GIFGiphy"You are in your 40s and still crave attention and validation from anyone at all because you were ignored all the time."
JBLBEBthree
Protection
"Even at 31, feeling like if I get close to anyone they'll find a way to take advantage of me."
NoticeWhenUAreHappy
"I’m not even sure my parents are wholly to blame there, they taught me love is kinda conditionally based on being a success and family means never being comfortable directly opening up. And that truly dealing with things is best done by ignoring or shouting about them. It was other folks who took advantage."
cewumu
I want nothing...
"The last time I got new tires, my mom made me let her pay for them for me because I didn't have a job and she doesn't want me spending money. Within an hour after, she was already using it as leverage like a, 'I did this for you, now do this for me!' kind of thing. My dad let me reimburse them without her knowing, but still. My parents have caused me to not be comfortable with accepting anything from anyone anymore. Not even a Christmas gift from a close friend."
SilverLugia1992
Do X
"Not being able to recognize affection or how to show it healthily."
TwoLaysea
"Affection gives me panic attacks. I know I'm going to get in deep crap because they're going to follow up with 'since I'm so loving you need to do X' with X being something i know I don't want to do. Haven't lived at home in decades but I still don't trust when people are being genuinely kind and loving. I know the other shoe is going to drop with a whole foot in it."
digitalwyrm
Worth
Sad A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy"You feel intimidated by everyone around you, you feel like you're never good enough for anyone, no matter how much they tell you that you don't need to try so hard, and you generally have low self-worth."
mR-gray42
Some childhoods really are a tragedy.
Sorry
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"Being surprised people will apologize and want to talk out and deal with an issue instead of screaming and pretending everything is fine and never mentioning why there was a fight or argument at all."
ToastedMaple
Lies
"You remember being severely neglected yet you were told 'you are spoiled.'"
Embarrassed-Swan3568
"Lots of these hit close to home, but this one hits closest. Especially because my parents use money as a way of trying to keep me around for narcissistic supply."
"'Oh, they're such nice people, look at all they do for you!' Literally all I want in life right now is to not have to depend on them, I'd give every penny I have to not have to spend time with them and just constantly keep my mouth shut about my childhood abuse."
emueller5251
The Crave
"I once had one of my good friends tell me about how his dad never hugged him or said he loved him and this fantasy he had about his dad holding is head in his hands and telling him he loves him. I promised myself I would do everything I can to make sure my kids feel loved and are used to affection. And it's clear they crave it."
TheGlenrothes
I Remember
"When you really don’t remember any good times you spent with them."
AverageLegoGameFan
"My family was mad when I didn't attend my grandfather's funeral last year. I thought about it for a minute... then realized I could not come up with a single positive memory of him or anything nice he ever said to me in my life (I'm 44)."
"I could, however, come up with a very long list of really shi**y things he did and said. So I realized, why would I want to go? Don't want to see anyone else that will be attending anyhow so, nope. I am an adult and I don't have to so I didn't and I am glad for my choice."
Business_Loquat5658
peace out...
Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy"You don't talk to them anymore or want them in your life otherwise as an adult (e.g., not inviting them to your wedding, or want them around any potential children you may have)."
Cuish
People really should have to be licensed to become parents.
Thankfully I've only ever fainted. Blackouts and hospital stays give me anxiety.
Knock Out
happy homer simpson GIFGiphy"I was walking to a birthday party. Next thing I knew, I woke up in an ambulance. I had been struck over the head and was knocked unconscious. I never found out who it was, or what they wanted (they didn't take anything from me)."
nome_king
The Van
"On a business trip in Texas. Me and two co-workers were driving to work, I was in the back passenger seat. Woke up in an ambulance. Got hit by a sprinter van at 50mph and slammed into a guard rail according to the police report. I don't remember any of it. Broke 7 ribs, collar bone, concussion, and fractured two bones in my neck. Took like 7 months to recover, but my neck and shoulder still bother me daily."
RemarkableWafer
Psycho
"When I was around 8 or 9, my parents went to have dinner at a fancy restaurant. My younger brother was at a friends house and I had a babysitter. When I finally fell asleep I woke up in an ambulance. Turns out my babysitter overdosed me with pills so I wouldn’t wake up whilst she threw a party at my house. She gave me so many I passed out and had a reaction."
Honey_*itch-
Weeks Later
"My girlfriend had a thyroid related heart attack, where she was revived and put into a medically induced coma for like 2 weeks, and took her another 2 weeks to come out of it. Then she had to go to in-patient physical therapy for a bit. Talking to her after she woke up, I couldn't help but be astounded how much it f**ked with her memory. It was like she remembered events, people, things and places, but any concept of time went out the window."
"For example, she thought she was living at her ex husband's mom's house, driving a car she had before we met, working at her current job, and knew we were dating. And of course, as those were all simultaneously impossible, she was having a lot of trouble figuring out what was right, and what wasn't."
Digital_Utopia
Hero Gramps
Winning Old Man GIF by Great Big StoryGiphy"I had a severe asthma attack to the point my entire throat closed up. I turned blue and was lying on the kitchen floor. Woke up in my grandads car with a straw in my throat and him banging on my back. Woke up again in the hospital. I was about seven."
Kaonashi_chlo
I would be a wreck in all of these situations. This is too much.
Erased
Alcohol Memory GIF by funkGiphy"Hit by a van . Woke up about a month later. My last memory before waking up is my 4th period art class in high school. So it completely erased the last half of the day before and the entire morning of the accident itself."
Half_Smashed_Face
A Bad Series
"My dad was driving me to school and suddenly I was in my bed! I get up, open my door, and ask my family what just happened! They all simultaneously scream for me to go back to the bed. Apparently I had already asked them what happened six separate times. I had a series of grand mal seizures during the car ride."
"Went from chatty to seizing all of a sudden. My dad called our pediatrician and I was eventually diagnosed with a form of epilepsy. My dad was told to take me home and put me to bed. It was the most disorienting thing I've ever experienced. It took six months to feel normal again. I had a constant sense of newness with familiar things that was very weird."
Nht2
To Sleep
"I was in elementary school. I stayed home because I had a light fever one day. I took a nap and woke up 3 days later in the hospital with no feeling in my legs. I had contracted viral meningitis, which had cut off the nerves to my lower body. I was bedridden for 3 weeks and spent several more weeks in physical therapy relearning how to walk. The horrors I endured during my stay were traumatic enough, but I still feel lucky. In high school, a fellow classmate had contracted bacterial meningitis, he died two days later."
Tathanor
The Jungle Gym
"I don't know if absolutely plastered counts as being fine one minute, but yeah. I remember being sh**faced sitting on a jungle gym in a park and then waking up the next morning in the hospital with an IV and catheter. Apparently I was found in a coma and had multiple organs shutting down. If I hadn't received medical help I would've died. Am now 3 years sober."
sandenema
The Rupture
angry chris farley GIFGiphy"I was at work having a normal day. I went to the toilet and could not get off the floor because I was doubled over in pain."
"I somehow managed to stagger out to where my colleagues were and they called me an ambulance. Got to hospital and had all my clothes and belongings shoved in a bag and was rushed into emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy."
snoozlybar
Well I guess some miracles actually do happen. That is all too crazy.
Everyone has an opinion...
"Reddit."- tall2022420
Oof, that's bad...
"It's not a big community, but there are items in the dilapidated bowels of the Chernobyl nuclear plant that are less toxic than the Super Smash Brothers Melee fan base."- CorgisDie
When the creators tell you to back off, take a hint!
"'Rick and Morty'."
"Even the show's creators have had to clash with them and their toxicity."- JeremyZenith·
Rick And Morty Facepalm GIFGiphyI like it, in small doeses...
"Kpop fans."
"I love really enjoy Kpop and am a fan myself, but damn. I sometimes just can't."- Ok-Enthusiasm-6975
Love the animation, the fans, not so much...
"Some anime community’s."- thomas_da_tra1n
Queen Gg GIF by League of LegendsIt's just a TV show... tone it down a bit...
"I expected to find this but haven't yet."
"The Supernatural Fandom."
"Other than the whole populous of it are cringe and over the top, getting tattoos of a show detail etc."
"They've literally bullied the show to continue the show past the natural ending, season 5, and for literally half a decade made them try to poop out content that topped the last season, with no where to really go to at that point."
"The consistent push on 'shipping' characters together that make the actors visably uncomfortable."
"The fan base is full of edgy people who gatekeep everything.'- develyn507
All of them!!!
"Are there any non toxic fan bases anymore?"
"The whole idea of people getting together and arguing with anyone that disagrees with them just breeds discontent."- KingGuy420
Stop It Neil Patrick Harris GIFGiphyAt least they get them excited about reading...
"YA writers."
"No specific authors, but the community of them."- D-Rez
There's nothing wrong with being passionate about something we love.
But when that passion starts to become competitive, even unsafe, can you even still call it a fanbase "community"?