Divorce can stem from a lot of different seeds. Maybe it's a case of incompatibility, where the two parties were never going to fit no matter how hard they tried. Maybe time is a determining factor and some life-altering event changes your partner forever. Whatever the case, divorce is most often permanent and hopefully both parties move on peacefully to new horizons. That's all you can hope for. However, in some rare instances the end isn't the end.
Reddit user, u/capj23, wanted to know about those unlikely times when you and your legally binding spouse split and somehow ended up back together when they asked:
People of reddit who got divorced and then remarried the same person again, what's your story?
When Life Guides You Along
My parents. (Step)Mom and Dad married at a young age. 18 & 16. I guess that was okay back in the day. Had 2 kids, divorced.
Dad had another child, then married my biological mother and had me. Mother died of cancer. Was just my dad and I for a few years.
My oldest (half) sister was having her first child...so we visited. Obviously her mother was there as well. My dad and her rekindle their relationship.
After a few years, she officially adopts me. That was 20 years ago and they are still going strong. I've known her over 2/3 of my life and she's as good as a mother that anyone could have.
My grandparents did. My grandfather suffered massive PTSD from serving in the Navy and would get so angry he would black out and forget what he did. He was very abusive to my mother while she was growing up. My grandmother divorced him and it was a wake up call for my grandfather and he got the proper help he needed. After about 8 months of anger management sessions and seeing a psychologist on the regular my grandmother got remarried to him.
Also my mother and grandfather's relationship is great now and he is a very calm individual. I've rarely ever seen him angry and when he does it's definitely not violent.
Just Proving A Point
My ridiculous coworker divorced her husband because he said something like "you can't live without me."
She divorced him to prove a point, but then remarried him so I guess he really proved his point.
A Lovely SurpriseGiphy
Not me but my parents. They married and had me at a young age, they were very different people in every way, nothing in common. My mom had depression issues. They divorced for a brief period when I was really young but I don't ever recall knowing they were actually divorced. I never prodded why but my understanding was it just difficult so they split but realized pretty quickly they wanted to work it out. They got back together although they didn't officially remarry for years. I was 8 and they said We're getting remarried! and that was the first time I found out they were actually divorced lol. Been together 36 years now.
Ends Up Back At Square 1 Again...Again?Giphy
My grandpa married my grandma. Then he divorced her and married another woman. Than he divorced that woman and remarried my grandma. Then he divorced my grandma and remarried the second woman again.
When Parents And Former Step-Parents Connect
My parents did that.
Bitter divorce, drawn out custody battle... Nightmares all around. Almost 30 years later, they got remarried and stayed that way until my mom passed away. They were married in 1964 when my mom was 16 and my dad was 21.
They came from completely different backgrounds (Mom was Native, grew up very poor in a rural area with alcoholic parents; dad was a spoiled Mama's boy, but had a strict German father, and both my grandparents really disliked my mom for years and years) and still loved each other enough to try again regardless of the hell they'd put each other through during the divorce.
My dad and former stepdad became friends, and they hang out every night just working on cars and playing cards. So weird.
Genesis Said It Best...Giphy
My dad and my step-mom divorced when I was 14 (1994). They went a few years where they barely spoke to each other, except when dad picked up my half-brother and half-sister. My brother did most of the home maintenance and landscaping around the house until he graduated from high school. After my brother went to college, my dad started cutting the grass for her and doing the home repairs she couldn't do. They soon started going to dinner together once in awhile. Then they started hanging out and watching TV together and sometimes it would get late and dad would sleep on the couch.
After my sister went to college, he started staying over more and more often and we'd celebrate holidays together again. Whenever they'd have an argument, he'd just go back to his house and give her time to simmer down. This went on for years.
Finally, after being divorced for over 20 years, they decided it was stupid to have two separate houses, so they officially got back together and bought a new house. They keep separate bedrooms (dad downstairs, step-mom upstairs), so if they have an argument, they can get away and let things cool off.
They remind me of a line from a Genesis song: "We can not live together and we cannot live apart. That's the situation and I've known it from the start."
Sometimes, You Need A White Board To Map The Love OutGiphy
My fiancées mom is on her fourth marriage, to her third person. This guy was her second husband, my fiancées dad was her third, and then she left him to remarry the second guy after almost 40 years. It's totally weird.
Edit: to be absolutely clear: Husband one: A Husband two: B Husband three: C (my in-laws) Husband four: B, again
Sometimes, It Never Works, No Matter How Many Times You Try
My parents never loved each other, constant intense fights, finally got divorced when I was 13. Dad bought a house, furnished it, but never moved in. Without showing any affection or explaining anything to me and my younger siblings, they remarried. Then they divorced again when I was 17.
Also, they were very against therapy, which we all could have really benefited from. We're all f-cked up now. So if you're a parent and you're denying your child mental health treatment or ignoring their need for it, don't be surprised when they grow up and go no contact with you. Emotional neglect and abuse is real, and damages every aspect of a person's life for a very long time, possibly forever. Even with treatment later in life.
Also, some people just shouldn't be parents. Not everyone is physically/financially/emotionally well suited for it. Having children is a choice. Children are not an extension of yourself, they are not your therapist or best friend, and having them doesn't 'fix' relationships. Seriously.
Sometimes, All It Takes Is Time To Realize...Giphy
We got married in our early 20s. Had a few happy years together and eventually had several problems all at once, from money to illness. Everything became tension and we ended up hating each other, I got a load of mental health problems as a result and we separated and divorced amicably.
Over 3 years we would sporadically talk on social media or the phone over Xmas or birthdays etc but it would always end up an argument over long standing bitterness over something. Eventually I wrote a letter saying that I couldn't talk to her again as it always turned into an emotional rollercoaster and it wasn't healthy. I admitted a load of stuff and at the same time got off my chest what I thought of her at the time, and we stopped contact.
Another few years later she messaged me on Facebook about something to do with a mutual friend, we got chatting and agreed to meet up for a drink. Everything went well, and we saw each other more often and eventually we started a relationship. During that time talked over those old issues and we both realised that we had matured and had been improved in the areas we previously struggled with due in part to the divorce and also that we were now that much more emotionally mature.
We went away on holiday and in secret got remarried at Gretna Green, with 2 shopkeepers as our witnesses. 7 years later, we live an increasingly self sustainable life with allotments, two dogs, chickens and have done lots of life laundry to work less and spend as much time as possible together. I'm a full time mature student, and she has various part time casual jobs in her field. The less money we have, the happier we have become.
We always knew we should be together I think, it was just a matter of timing and maturity.
Some people typically don't like being told what to do because they think they already know what they're doing.
That is until they stumble and land on their face.
It turns out what they were resistant to accepting in the first place was accurate all along.
If only they listened.
Curious to hear of other people's growing pains, Redditor TinyUnderstanding948 asked:
"What lesson did you have to learn the hard way?"
You can protect yourself with these reminders.
Leave A Paper Trail
"Any monetary or business agreement needs to be in writing!"
Observing The Fine Print
"Read the contract."
Generally speaking, business relationships and friendships are mutually exclusive.
"Not everyone you work with is your friend."
What Venting Led To
"My grandmother learned that the hard way a few years ago. Had been in the same industry since the 90s, was being paid less than she was worth honestly. On a break at work, she was venting to a coworker she thought she was friends with, about someone who worked in the same place as them."
"Word got back to the boss pretty fast and they used it as an excuse to stop giving her work and forced her out; they preferred a younger workforce that they could pay less. She had to retire without much savings, had to sell her house and move in with my aunt, and now has to live off of social security benefits. She probably would have never retired if she hadn't been forced to; because of her age, she wasn't able to get hired anywhere else."
"I work with someone who will laugh with you and pretend to be your buddy but as soon as you turn your back, she's already b*tched about you to 20 people and whined about you asking for her help with some small tasks (even though she offered her support)."
"The worst part is she is part of the HR team and she has a documented history of exploding at people, harassment and bullying, and not doing her job (because she spends most of her time crying and complaining). She is the stereotypical HR representative."
Consumers who were previously taken advantage of have the following advice to pass along.
Splurge On Good Quality
"Buy it nice or buy it twice."
"This is 100% accurate but needs a disclaimer: expensive does not always equate to nice."
The relationships we have with people are complex, but you may want to keep these in mind.
Extending A Lifeline
"You can’t always help people. You can show them you care and point them toward help, but it’s up to them to get better. And if you fail, it’s not your fault."
"You can't have a relationship with someone's potential."
Achieve Mutual Adoration
"Loving someone doesn't mean they will keep loving you."
And when it comes to your health, listen up.
"Drink plenty of water."
"It's hard to know when you're dehydrated sometimes. Felt terrible and didn't know why. Never felt thirsty. Had skin issues, lack of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration, dizzy spells, could not function at work, among other things."
"Ended up at the ICU with an IV drip for severe dehydration."
"DRINK YOUR WATER!"
While advice from the people we care about comes from a good place, they are not always appreciated.
Sometimes, we have to make our own mistakes in order to fully comprehend why we should apply certain standards to the way we go about our lives.
At least for me, I've found that picking myself up and dusting myself off was most effective.
That has to come naturally.
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
Not Going Mental
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Too Young" For Cancer
The "Sad" Pill
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
Mom To The Rescue
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
Y'all should have seen my face.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
Put Them (Back) To Work
Taking Care Of Each Other
Talk To The Door
Take Your Turn
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
No Need To Feel Bad