Divorce can stem from a lot of different seeds. Maybe it's a case of incompatibility, where the two parties were never going to fit no matter how hard they tried. Maybe time is a determining factor and some life-altering event changes your partner forever. Whatever the case, divorce is most often permanent and hopefully both parties move on peacefully to new horizons. That's all you can hope for. However, in some rare instances the end isn't the end.
Reddit user, u/capj23, wanted to know about those unlikely times when you and your legally binding spouse split and somehow ended up back together when they asked:
People of reddit who got divorced and then remarried the same person again, what's your story?
When Life Guides You Along
My parents. (Step)Mom and Dad married at a young age. 18 & 16. I guess that was okay back in the day. Had 2 kids, divorced.
Dad had another child, then married my biological mother and had me. Mother died of cancer. Was just my dad and I for a few years.
My oldest (half) sister was having her first child...so we visited. Obviously her mother was there as well. My dad and her rekindle their relationship.
After a few years, she officially adopts me. That was 20 years ago and they are still going strong. I've known her over 2/3 of my life and she's as good as a mother that anyone could have.
Lingering Effects
GiphyMy grandparents did. My grandfather suffered massive PTSD from serving in the Navy and would get so angry he would black out and forget what he did. He was very abusive to my mother while she was growing up. My grandmother divorced him and it was a wake up call for my grandfather and he got the proper help he needed. After about 8 months of anger management sessions and seeing a psychologist on the regular my grandmother got remarried to him.
Also my mother and grandfather's relationship is great now and he is a very calm individual. I've rarely ever seen him angry and when he does it's definitely not violent.
Just Proving A Point
My ridiculous coworker divorced her husband because he said something like "you can't live without me."
She divorced him to prove a point, but then remarried him so I guess he really proved his point.
A Lovely Surprise
GiphyNot me but my parents. They married and had me at a young age, they were very different people in every way, nothing in common. My mom had depression issues. They divorced for a brief period when I was really young but I don't ever recall knowing they were actually divorced. I never prodded why but my understanding was it just difficult so they split but realized pretty quickly they wanted to work it out. They got back together although they didn't officially remarry for years. I was 8 and they said We're getting remarried! and that was the first time I found out they were actually divorced lol. Been together 36 years now.
Ends Up Back At Square 1 Again...Again?
GiphyMy grandpa married my grandma. Then he divorced her and married another woman. Than he divorced that woman and remarried my grandma. Then he divorced my grandma and remarried the second woman again.
When Parents And Former Step-Parents Connect
My parents did that.
Bitter divorce, drawn out custody battle... Nightmares all around. Almost 30 years later, they got remarried and stayed that way until my mom passed away. They were married in 1964 when my mom was 16 and my dad was 21.
They came from completely different backgrounds (Mom was Native, grew up very poor in a rural area with alcoholic parents; dad was a spoiled Mama's boy, but had a strict German father, and both my grandparents really disliked my mom for years and years) and still loved each other enough to try again regardless of the hell they'd put each other through during the divorce.
My dad and former stepdad became friends, and they hang out every night just working on cars and playing cards. So weird.
Genesis Said It Best...
GiphyMy dad and my step-mom divorced when I was 14 (1994). They went a few years where they barely spoke to each other, except when dad picked up my half-brother and half-sister. My brother did most of the home maintenance and landscaping around the house until he graduated from high school. After my brother went to college, my dad started cutting the grass for her and doing the home repairs she couldn't do. They soon started going to dinner together once in awhile. Then they started hanging out and watching TV together and sometimes it would get late and dad would sleep on the couch.
After my sister went to college, he started staying over more and more often and we'd celebrate holidays together again. Whenever they'd have an argument, he'd just go back to his house and give her time to simmer down. This went on for years.
Finally, after being divorced for over 20 years, they decided it was stupid to have two separate houses, so they officially got back together and bought a new house. They keep separate bedrooms (dad downstairs, step-mom upstairs), so if they have an argument, they can get away and let things cool off.
They remind me of a line from a Genesis song: "We can not live together and we cannot live apart. That's the situation and I've known it from the start."
Sometimes, You Need A White Board To Map The Love Out
GiphyMy fiancées mom is on her fourth marriage, to her third person. This guy was her second husband, my fiancées dad was her third, and then she left him to remarry the second guy after almost 40 years. It's totally weird.
Edit: to be absolutely clear: Husband one: A Husband two: B Husband three: C (my in-laws) Husband four: B, again
Sometimes, It Never Works, No Matter How Many Times You Try
My parents never loved each other, constant intense fights, finally got divorced when I was 13. Dad bought a house, furnished it, but never moved in. Without showing any affection or explaining anything to me and my younger siblings, they remarried. Then they divorced again when I was 17.
Also, they were very against therapy, which we all could have really benefited from. We're all f-cked up now. So if you're a parent and you're denying your child mental health treatment or ignoring their need for it, don't be surprised when they grow up and go no contact with you. Emotional neglect and abuse is real, and damages every aspect of a person's life for a very long time, possibly forever. Even with treatment later in life.
Also, some people just shouldn't be parents. Not everyone is physically/financially/emotionally well suited for it. Having children is a choice. Children are not an extension of yourself, they are not your therapist or best friend, and having them doesn't 'fix' relationships. Seriously.
Sometimes, All It Takes Is Time To Realize...
GiphyWe got married in our early 20s. Had a few happy years together and eventually had several problems all at once, from money to illness. Everything became tension and we ended up hating each other, I got a load of mental health problems as a result and we separated and divorced amicably.
Over 3 years we would sporadically talk on social media or the phone over Xmas or birthdays etc but it would always end up an argument over long standing bitterness over something. Eventually I wrote a letter saying that I couldn't talk to her again as it always turned into an emotional rollercoaster and it wasn't healthy. I admitted a load of stuff and at the same time got off my chest what I thought of her at the time, and we stopped contact.
Another few years later she messaged me on Facebook about something to do with a mutual friend, we got chatting and agreed to meet up for a drink. Everything went well, and we saw each other more often and eventually we started a relationship. During that time talked over those old issues and we both realised that we had matured and had been improved in the areas we previously struggled with due in part to the divorce and also that we were now that much more emotionally mature.
We went away on holiday and in secret got remarried at Gretna Green, with 2 shopkeepers as our witnesses. 7 years later, we live an increasingly self sustainable life with allotments, two dogs, chickens and have done lots of life laundry to work less and spend as much time as possible together. I'm a full time mature student, and she has various part time casual jobs in her field. The less money we have, the happier we have become.
We always knew we should be together I think, it was just a matter of timing and maturity.
H/T: Reddit
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?