Divorce can stem from a lot of different seeds. Maybe it's a case of incompatibility, where the two parties were never going to fit no matter how hard they tried. Maybe time is a determining factor and some life-altering event changes your partner forever. Whatever the case, divorce is most often permanent and hopefully both parties move on peacefully to new horizons. That's all you can hope for. However, in some rare instances the end isn't the end.
Reddit user, u/capj23, wanted to know about those unlikely times when you and your legally binding spouse split and somehow ended up back together when they asked:
People of reddit who got divorced and then remarried the same person again, what's your story?
When Life Guides You Along
My parents. (Step)Mom and Dad married at a young age. 18 & 16. I guess that was okay back in the day. Had 2 kids, divorced.
Dad had another child, then married my biological mother and had me. Mother died of cancer. Was just my dad and I for a few years.
My oldest (half) sister was having her first child...so we visited. Obviously her mother was there as well. My dad and her rekindle their relationship.
After a few years, she officially adopts me. That was 20 years ago and they are still going strong. I've known her over 2/3 of my life and she's as good as a mother that anyone could have.
My grandparents did. My grandfather suffered massive PTSD from serving in the Navy and would get so angry he would black out and forget what he did. He was very abusive to my mother while she was growing up. My grandmother divorced him and it was a wake up call for my grandfather and he got the proper help he needed. After about 8 months of anger management sessions and seeing a psychologist on the regular my grandmother got remarried to him.
Also my mother and grandfather's relationship is great now and he is a very calm individual. I've rarely ever seen him angry and when he does it's definitely not violent.
Just Proving A Point
My ridiculous coworker divorced her husband because he said something like "you can't live without me."
She divorced him to prove a point, but then remarried him so I guess he really proved his point.
A Lovely SurpriseGiphy
Not me but my parents. They married and had me at a young age, they were very different people in every way, nothing in common. My mom had depression issues. They divorced for a brief period when I was really young but I don't ever recall knowing they were actually divorced. I never prodded why but my understanding was it just difficult so they split but realized pretty quickly they wanted to work it out. They got back together although they didn't officially remarry for years. I was 8 and they said We're getting remarried! and that was the first time I found out they were actually divorced lol. Been together 36 years now.
Ends Up Back At Square 1 Again...Again?Giphy
My grandpa married my grandma. Then he divorced her and married another woman. Than he divorced that woman and remarried my grandma. Then he divorced my grandma and remarried the second woman again.
When Parents And Former Step-Parents Connect
My parents did that.
Bitter divorce, drawn out custody battle... Nightmares all around. Almost 30 years later, they got remarried and stayed that way until my mom passed away. They were married in 1964 when my mom was 16 and my dad was 21.
They came from completely different backgrounds (Mom was Native, grew up very poor in a rural area with alcoholic parents; dad was a spoiled Mama's boy, but had a strict German father, and both my grandparents really disliked my mom for years and years) and still loved each other enough to try again regardless of the hell they'd put each other through during the divorce.
My dad and former stepdad became friends, and they hang out every night just working on cars and playing cards. So weird.
Genesis Said It Best...Giphy
My dad and my step-mom divorced when I was 14 (1994). They went a few years where they barely spoke to each other, except when dad picked up my half-brother and half-sister. My brother did most of the home maintenance and landscaping around the house until he graduated from high school. After my brother went to college, my dad started cutting the grass for her and doing the home repairs she couldn't do. They soon started going to dinner together once in awhile. Then they started hanging out and watching TV together and sometimes it would get late and dad would sleep on the couch.
After my sister went to college, he started staying over more and more often and we'd celebrate holidays together again. Whenever they'd have an argument, he'd just go back to his house and give her time to simmer down. This went on for years.
Finally, after being divorced for over 20 years, they decided it was stupid to have two separate houses, so they officially got back together and bought a new house. They keep separate bedrooms (dad downstairs, step-mom upstairs), so if they have an argument, they can get away and let things cool off.
They remind me of a line from a Genesis song: "We can not live together and we cannot live apart. That's the situation and I've known it from the start."
Sometimes, You Need A White Board To Map The Love OutGiphy
My fiancées mom is on her fourth marriage, to her third person. This guy was her second husband, my fiancées dad was her third, and then she left him to remarry the second guy after almost 40 years. It's totally weird.
Edit: to be absolutely clear: Husband one: A Husband two: B Husband three: C (my in-laws) Husband four: B, again
Sometimes, It Never Works, No Matter How Many Times You Try
My parents never loved each other, constant intense fights, finally got divorced when I was 13. Dad bought a house, furnished it, but never moved in. Without showing any affection or explaining anything to me and my younger siblings, they remarried. Then they divorced again when I was 17.
Also, they were very against therapy, which we all could have really benefited from. We're all f-cked up now. So if you're a parent and you're denying your child mental health treatment or ignoring their need for it, don't be surprised when they grow up and go no contact with you. Emotional neglect and abuse is real, and damages every aspect of a person's life for a very long time, possibly forever. Even with treatment later in life.
Also, some people just shouldn't be parents. Not everyone is physically/financially/emotionally well suited for it. Having children is a choice. Children are not an extension of yourself, they are not your therapist or best friend, and having them doesn't 'fix' relationships. Seriously.
Sometimes, All It Takes Is Time To Realize...Giphy
We got married in our early 20s. Had a few happy years together and eventually had several problems all at once, from money to illness. Everything became tension and we ended up hating each other, I got a load of mental health problems as a result and we separated and divorced amicably.
Over 3 years we would sporadically talk on social media or the phone over Xmas or birthdays etc but it would always end up an argument over long standing bitterness over something. Eventually I wrote a letter saying that I couldn't talk to her again as it always turned into an emotional rollercoaster and it wasn't healthy. I admitted a load of stuff and at the same time got off my chest what I thought of her at the time, and we stopped contact.
Another few years later she messaged me on Facebook about something to do with a mutual friend, we got chatting and agreed to meet up for a drink. Everything went well, and we saw each other more often and eventually we started a relationship. During that time talked over those old issues and we both realised that we had matured and had been improved in the areas we previously struggled with due in part to the divorce and also that we were now that much more emotionally mature.
We went away on holiday and in secret got remarried at Gretna Green, with 2 shopkeepers as our witnesses. 7 years later, we live an increasingly self sustainable life with allotments, two dogs, chickens and have done lots of life laundry to work less and spend as much time as possible together. I'm a full time mature student, and she has various part time casual jobs in her field. The less money we have, the happier we have become.
We always knew we should be together I think, it was just a matter of timing and maturity.
Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
It's well-known that the brain of a teenager is a half-formed thing. But that doesn't stop us from getting down ourselves for those old mistakes even years later, as full-blown adults.
Injuries, social falling outs, bad habits started and good habits stopped--all are ripe for putting a knot in our stomachs a decade or more later.
Truly, a big part of adulthood is learning to accept and live with yourself, warts and all.
And many of those warts are composed of mistakes that you can never undo.
Redditor zepher_goose asked:
"Which mistake did you make as a teenager that is still biting you in the a**?"
Many Redditors talked about the things they did that left them with a very direct, long-lasting physical difficulties. Often, the mistake was a single moment, but its consequences go on for years.
"Not wearing my seatbelt. At least my wheelchair is fast." -- CrippleOverlord
"So sorry buddy. I hate that you had to learn that lesson in that way. Best of luck to you." -- ai_test_run
Choose Your Object Wisely
"Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn't properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn't hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that's when I'd go."
"Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road."
Decades of Healing
"Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16)."
"Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well."
That Faint Hissing
"Listened to music way too loud and now i have tinnitus forever. Still hate myself for that one..." -- elgherkin
"Tinnitus is one of those things that before you have it you're like, 'How bad can it be?' But once you have it...." -- Aradne
Others discussed the awful habits they started as teenagers without much forethought for how difficult it was going to be to stop later on.
How They Get Ya
"Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting."
"I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think 'damn a cigarette would be good right now' "
What Is and What Could Have Been
"Gambling excessively, that sh** is dangerous man, just don't do it." -- Hazzmeister72
"Man, had I not been gambling (sports gambling mostly) since 2001 I'd have had a house since 2012 at the latest. Finally got the strength to quit Feb 2020, right before Covid. My bank account has never been so healthy. Fu** gambling" -- lawdhavmercee
Fleeting and Cheap
"Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences." -- Glittering_Cup9438
"I feel you my friend....and a lot of memories you don't even remember." -- TouchDaPhishy
Finally, some zeroed in on the decisions they made, be it socially or professionally, that have had intangible impacts on their well-being and lifestyles.
Find Your Niche
"Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends."
"I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years."
"I said a lot of stupid sh** with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life."
The Harder Way
"Dropping out of college to get married. Going back in my 30s with adult responsibilities and a full time job was the most chaotic time of my life." -- dogandbutterfly1978
"I'll be 31 with 2 kids (a 2 year old and a one year old) when I get be BS next May...I fu**in feel ya on that one." -- SCViper
This list illustrates the first step in getting over it: naming the monkey on your back. Then comes the harder part: letting it go.
As FDR once said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". But I beg to differ--I have every right to be afraid of heights. I have every right to be too scared to go to the Empire State Building, and cry every time I play a VR game that involves being on the top of fake buildings. The fear is real, y'all.
As it turns out, there are a lot of universal fears out there. And the people of Reddit have a thing or two to say. Suck it, Roosevelt. WowADeadMidget asked:
What's your biggest fear?
I haven’t even started this article yet, and I’m already sweating. Let’s dive in.
That would keep me awake too.
“Drowning, getting stuck in some tight place and asphyxiating/dying of hunger in there, or getting steamed to death.
That's pretty much the shared 1st place."
“I'm 34 years old and was very close to drowning last year. Got dumped out of a canoe and was pinned against a tree in a current. I pulled myself out and it took about every bit of upper body strength I had, didn't even really realize the severity of it while it was happening because if my head had stayed under I was done for. A person of smaller stature would have been in very serious trouble in the same situation. I think about it a lot too, usually when I'm trying to go to sleep lol."
A valid fear.Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“I choked on a piece of steak home alone a few months ago and had to give myself the Heimlich maneuver. It took 3 tries. I'll never forget my dog staring at me and the thought of my girlfriend coming home to find me dead on the floor of our apartment.
Now I think about that every time I eat by myself. So choking to death alone is my greatest fear."
This is heartbreaking.
“Biggest fear is losing everything I have worked so hard for later in life. I watched my parents work hard do everything right build wealth and then almost towards their 50s my father got sick, lost his job. And now struggle to make ends they had to sell anything that had any value to them.
Now they just go through life with seemingly little enjoyment because they had everything set and in a blink of an eye it was gone and probably never come back.”
This is why you should check in with your friends.
“Being one of those people who dies alone in their home and doesn't get found for weeks or more because they have no one who cares enough to notice they're not around anymore.”
“There was an old man in our vicinity who died like this. Apparently he died on the toilet and been there for weeks in the summer heat with closed windows and doors so the smell was also not noticable to the neighbours. The firemen and policemen brought the body down from the flat in two bags apparently it was already falling into several pieces.
The smell was lingering in the apartment for a few days, one of my friends lives two floors down and he said it was unbearable.”
Let’s go deeper, shall we? Sorry in advance.
Good advice.Will Smith Memory GIF by STARZGiphy
“Memory loss!!! Literally, everything I know in my life is memories.”
“When I started to have memory problems, it super freaked me out. Now it's a little easier. I surround myself with trusted people and write everything down. Memory is important, but if you take care of yourself and find ways to keep them externally it can help a lot. Memory books, notes, friends.”
“Deep water or caves with no light that you have to crawl to get through. So a cave full of water would be the worst.
That or what happened to that guy who was repairing an industrial bread oven when it turned on and he couldn't switch it back off from the inside.”
I’m sorry, WHAT???
You're fine one moment, and then the next day you have a headache. Turns out you got infected on that camping trip six years ago and it's been hiding in you ever since.
Now that you have a headache, it's in your brain and you're already dead. There's next to nothing doctors can do except put you in a coma and say a prayer, but odds are nearly 100% that if you do survive that you're a vegetable or nearly one.
You experience incredible pain, irrational hydrophobia, manic behavioral changes, and a total loss of motor control near the end. It's got to be one of the most humiliating, dehumanizing and terrifying ways to go, and it can happen just like that.
Rabies is terrifying.”
If that last one didn’t shake you, these next few will. Read at your own risk.
All we can do is stay optimistic.heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
“Not being alive anymore - the finality.
I'm not afraid of dying - the act of it, anyway. I'm not afraid of what comes next - I've not bothered myself with that one.
What I'm afraid of is being… done. Here one day, then gone. Not able to do anything else.
I cannot out it into better words, that's how suffocating the anxiety of being gone is for me. Maybe it would be better if I were religious and believed in an after life, but the best I can do is convince myself that I believe your personal energy spreads to other beautiful things in life when you pass. But the mind, the mind just being… done. That is truly frightening to me.”
Don’t watch the latest Purge movie.
“Societal collapse. A climate or economic or disease-based destruction of society as we know it. Every part of normal life ceasing to exist, and every person having to fend for themselves. There's a documentary called 'Collapse' that scared the crap out of me."
"An even more frightening thought is that collapse is already happening, and we just don't have the perspective to recognize it. After the collapse of Rome, people living in Roman territories still considered themselves Romans for a long time, even though the Roman state was gone. Granted, things happen a lot more quickly in the modern world, and that in and of itself is concerning - the rate of change is ever-increasing. What happens to any system that encounters increasingly rapid changes? What happens to an airplane or a bridge or a human being whose rate of change keeps accelerating? They spin out of control until failure.
Climate change is a potentially civilization-ending event amongst several other candidates for bringing about our doom. Nobody has bothered to fix it yet, and even with more mundane problems, I feel that the government has already abandoned us. Just like some poor farmers five hundred miles away from the city of Rome, we cannot hope for the state to come and save us once things break down - they'll be too busy enjoying the last of their feasts, orgies, or taxpayer-funded drugs before the lights go out."
A parent’s worst nightmare.
“The thought of anything/anyone hurting or something seriously bad happening to my daughter.
I once heard someone say that having a child is like taking a piece of your heart and letting it walk around outside of your body.
That’s exactly what it feels like. I don't care for much things, but I would be nothing but an empty shell without her.”
Alright, now that you’ve read all of that, go drink some water and take a nap. It was a doozy.
Now I’m thinking about societal collapse. Great.