People Dish About The Biggest BS Statement They’ve Ever Heard In Their Lives

It's A Chinese Conspiracy

A long rant on Chinese quality control, and how he'd never use a piece of Chinese junk for an important job.

He said this while using a Caterpillar piece of equipment, made in their Chinese factory ...

He swore that was the best farm tool he's ever had, much better than John Deere ... and refused to believe his was made in China. Going as far as to tell me to get my "Toyota driving communist ass off my land!"

Um, does he think Toyota is Chinese?

He thinks all Asians are Chinese.

Does a Bear Roll in the Wood

Someone I know said that if a bear is chasing you, don't run down a hill because the bear would roll down the hill like a boulder and crush you, he really believed it.

Parental Guidance

My parents every time they said "if you tell me the truth I won't be mad"

They were mad every time.

Drive-by Truthing

I worked with a guy that would always say stupid comments and people would always call him out for saying dumb things. One day he got mad about it and went on a rant about how he was only dumb because he had to drop out of school to take care of his blind mom when he was 14 and no one else was around to take care of the family.

Everyone got quiet and it was awkward until someone said, "Your mom drove you to work today."

Whiskey and Water

Had a guy tell me that you can't get a hangover from Jack Daniel's because of the minerals in the spring water they use to make it.

Top Secret Canadian Coffee

"I worked in a mine 43,000 feet underground."

I asked do you mean 4300. She said nope, 43,000. Called her on her bullsh*t seeing as the furthest down drilled hole is 40,000 feet, in Russia. We're in Canada.

Nope. It's 43,000 ft.

That's where the secret government Tim Horton's is.

Gluten-Free Eggs

"I can't eat those eggs, they have gluten!" My aunt is convinced that anything produced by any animal who has ever eaten gluten also contains gluten.

When I asked if she was tested for Celiac's, she said "Doctors don't know."

She's not a very bright person.

If Only...

"If it wasn't for the physical and mental stress, I could be a Navy SEAL."

(That's like) if it wasn't for all the running, ball handling, and shot making, I could be an NBA player.

If it wasn't for my ugly face, unfit body, and unsatisfactory height, I could be a super model.

If it wasn't for my terrible eyesight, fear of heights, and general laziness I could be a fighter pilot.

Genetically Altered

"Essential oils are so powerful they can change your DNA."

So is radiation.

Sugar Free Please

"Sugar can't be digested and cuts the inside of your arteries and veins."

What?!?

Legalize It Illegally

I had a friend in high school that would always tell semi-plausible stories that we suspected were bullshit, but we could never catch him on it. One day during lunch, we were talking about weed and he casually says "When my dad was a cop in the seventies, he would confiscate weed from guys and then go back and smoke it because it was legal back then."

We all kind of looked around the table and some brave soul said "Dude, if weed was legal, then why were the cops confiscating it?"

Basketball Physics

If the earth is round then why doesn't water poured onto a basketball stay on?

I'm just imagining this person in a lab coat, repeatedly pouring a beaker of water onto a basketball, then shaking their head while aggressively writing notes.

German Pigeons of WWII

In middle school, this kid who was notorious for being full of It, told me that his uncle raised CLAY pigeons. Like those orange targets that you throw in the air and shoot with a shotgun.

Same kid had this army jacket that he wore from time to time that was his Uncle's. Claimed that the holes in it were from a BB gun that some German was using in WWII. At the time I didn't realize the many flaws in this.

That Ban Is Going to Hurt

Grandma informed me that 87% of navy seals are transgender. Something seems off about that

13% of navy seals are actual seals.

A Need for Speed

...he told the story of when he promised his grandmother that he would drive from Michigan to California in 16 hours and he did. If you look at a map and don't take any roads into consideration, just connect the 2 closest points between Michigan and California, you're at about 2,000 miles... Add in roads, and the fact that he was going from the middle of Michigan to the middle of California, and you're close to 3000 miles... in 16 hours...

So you're saying that you don't believe that he drove for 16hrs straight going at least 187mph . . . without stopping? But. . . But you can't prove that he didn't!!!

You're right, I can't prove that... I also can't prove he had to stop for gas...

Too Smart for School

"I was told by the high school I had to dropout because I had TOO high of a GPA."

Oh, yeah? What was your GPA?

"5.0! They said they couldn't keep me there because it'd look bad someone so smart was still going to their school."

Seal Team 0.006

My stepdad's niece married this fat hick, and well, basically everything that ever comes out of his mouth... First, he claims he was a Navy Seal, and even if you look at the guy and can somehow think "well, maybe he just got really out of shape," three minutes talking to him and you know he's full of shit. But he lives the gimmick, and his wife believes it... We went to some motorcycle races one night and I heard him quietly tell his wife, "I know I'm not the only Seal here - I've seen a few guys, and I can tell by what they're wearing that they're Seals."

He would also tell us how, in the Navy, they used to play baseball with balls of C4 and watch them explode, and one time they knocked one into the sunroof of a fellow seaman's brand new Camaro and blew it up... I didn't bother to point out that C4 needs a detonator , because I'm sure he would just explain that this was special C4 that didn't need a detonator...

Coffee and Waffles

"I can drink so much coffee that I achieve homeostasis and don't need to pee." I had to walk away.

That's nothing, I can eat so many waffles that I achieve photosynthesis, thus removing the need for sleep.

Busy Bees

My grandma told me that a single bee produces 2 lbs of honey every day. I know all about bees and told her that bees maybe make a teaspoon of honey in their lifetime and she wasn't too fond of my response.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

I knew a dude in high school who was probably a pathological liar. He would literally lie about EVERYTHING. It didn't matter how insignificant, it would be a lie.

"Got a new car yesterday!" - Drives up in the same old car. "Got a job making $30 an hour!" - No you're 16. "Got a 100 on every test last week." - Kid was dumb as bricks.

We kinda got sick of calling him out all the time so we just let him continue telling his lies...

Then one day he starts saying that he met this girl on "habbo hotel" which was like a stupid online chat room game. The guy starts saying that shes from Finland or some sh_t and that she's super hot. He continues to tell us that shes moving in with him and keeps showing us pictures of this hot girl.

But then....shortly after HS he moves in with the girl from Habbo Hotel. God damn the one most bullsh_t thing he said was actually true.

Is This School in Springfield?

When I was at school one my my friends ran out of the playground/yard and came back an hour or so later. He said the headteacher/principal chased him but he got on a bike, but then the headteacher jumped on a skateboard and got some toy bow and arrows and fired them through the bikes wheels - and that is how he got caught and had to come back to school.

Bullwinkle Hangs With Bigfoot

My GF's dad thinks Moose don't exist.

The Power of Jonas Salk Compels You

I had a coworker tell me that his 6-month-old baby was talking in full sentences until he had his vaccinations, then he inexplicably stopped talking till 18th months.

If his six-month-old was speaking full sentences, he needed an exorcist.

so what you're telling me is vaccinations not only prevent disease, but also expel demons from your body? I should get on that.

Anatomically Incorrect

I have a coworker that swears his aunt died of prostate cancer, and that's why he doesn't use deodorant.

Wind Power

I have a co-worker who thinks that climate change is caused by wind turbines slowing down the earth.

He otherwise seems pretty intelligent but damn...

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Note: Comments have been edited for clarity.

People Break Down The Biggest Changes You'd See In 'Harry Potter' If It Were Set In The U.S.

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Can you see Harry Potter at a football game in the Midwest? Chowing on a corn dog, throwing back some good ole Pepsi-Cola? Or can you picture the Harry universe living and loving in the great U. S of A? What would casting look like against the backdrop of the great harvest plains? I have so many thoughts and ideas. The first thought, the change would never work. Keep the story alive on British soil.

But, for fun, let's chat about the idea.

Redditor u/Cuish wanted all the Potter heads out there to share what American tweeks would occur in the Potterverse within America, by asking:

If Harry Potter was set in the United States, how would the story change?
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harry potter

People Break Down Which Tasks Are Not As Simple As People Think They Are

Luke van Zyl/Unsplash

Life isn't as simple as one may think. It's not always easy to take a step back and look at the big picture, but when there's over seven billion people on the planet, there's no way things are as cut and dry as they seem.

Everyone's experiences are different going through life. We may not be able to see the complexities it if we haven't lived it ourselves.

So we went to Reddit because we wanted to see what's not as simple as people think it is.

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challenges

People Explain Which Double Standards Need To End Immediately

RobinHiggins/Pixabay

Double standards are something we all live with and, quite likely, find extremely annoying. Things like men being expected to hide their emotions—or not have them at all—or women being expected to stay home and support a couple's children, everyone is generally harmed by double standards.

This is especially true when the double standard isn't clear until someone violates it and then has to deal with anger, ridicule, or sometimes even violence as a result.

Content Note: this article mentions suicide and sexual assault, reader discretion advised.

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double standards

People Describe The Most Valuable Item They've Ever Found In The Garbage

Image by jacqueline macou from Pixabay

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure - and sometimes that saying is pretty literal.

Lots of people build entire businesses picking up cool stuff on bulk-pickup trash day, and upcycling it into something even better that people are willing to pay for.

Sometimes, you might even end up with something pristine and usable right away.

Reddit user JampackedAlborn1976 asked:

What is the most valuable item that you have seen somebody throw away or have found in the garbage?

And for real ... some of these people scored BIG TIME. Like big time. Like really big.

Like Refrigerator Big

just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"Our current refrigerator is a double-door one with exterior ice and water dispensers. We got it for free, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. It's just a few years old."

"How we got it? My dad (civil engineer) was doing some work on someone's apartment when they said they had bought a new modern French door refrigerator and that they were just going to discard their current refrigerator."

"My dad simply asked if he could have it.. and they said yes." - SauloJr

Immigrants In Action

Dog Brazil GIF Giphy

"I immigrated to the US from Brazil when I was 12. And every Saturday, my mom, stepdad, sister and I would go out at night to upper middle class neighborhoods the day before trash pickup to rummage through the garbage they were putting out."

"We found perfectly good TVs, VCRs, microwaves, couches, lazy boys, tables, books and comics, etc."

"I couldn't believe these Americans were throwing out like that. We furnished our entire house with that stuff. The entire Brazilian immigrant community in my town did it. We were flabbergasted." - PhillipLlerenas

With A Note

Television Bunny GIF Giphy

"My wife yelled at me that someone put a big TV outside with a note on it. Walked across the street and it was a brand new Samsung 37 inch HDTV."

"They were actually renovating the apartment building and got an upgraded TV. Even had the remote taped to it with batteries, I guess I have really nice neighbors here in NYC." - MadLintElf

Life Hack!

studying busy philipps GIF by Drunk History Giphy

"If you want high end stuff out of the garbage for free, follow these steps:"

"Pick a city with a large university in it. If it's a school well known for its law programs, or medical, or engineering, all the better."

"Search for luxury apartment complexes that market themselves towards students. Look for things like included shuttle service, pools, fitness centers, etc. The more expensive and swanky the better."

"Figure out when finals week is at the end of Spring semester."

"Dumpster dive at those luxury apartment complexes during that week and the following weekend."

"Very wealthy international students will arrive in the US, fully outfit an apartment with nice furniture, big TVs, audio systems, gaming consoles, you name it, and when the semester ends they just junk it all because they aren't going to fly it back to wherever, and it's too much effort to spend the time selling when they do not care about the money."

"It's a smaller scale phenomenon a little like all the luxury cars abandoned at the airport in Dubai." - whattothewhonow

Literal Gold Treasure

valley of the boom david kim stanley GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"I found a gold coin at goodwill for 5 bucks. It was in a case with someone's name and company name."

"It was their gift from the company for retiring. I assume the family threw it out when he died not knowing it was solid gold. It was in a in a thick solid plastic case that had to be cracked opened."

"It literally said 1 oz fine gold on it. I figured 5 bucks was worth the risk it not being real."

"It was a South African KRUGERRAND 1 oz coin. Everyone was just too busy to read it lol."

"Bought it and took it too a pawn shop and sold it for a couple grand." - streetmitch

The Best Day Of My Life

Will Smith Wow GIF by 1LIVE Giphy

"When I was a kid, I grew up right outside the Los Angeles area in the suburbs. My stepdad was a garbage truck driver for the city of Beverly Hills."

"I swear in the late 80s and early 90s we'd have so much basically brand new stuff (still in boxes) brought home on a regular basis."

"I'll never forget one day in particular. My stepdad came home and was like 'get ready, come to the car, I'll need your help.' So I go down there and in back seat of his car he had a few large black garbage bags."

"We haul them up to our apartment and he's like 'go ahead, open them.' Inside was what I could only describe as an 80s kids trove of treasures."

"One bag contained just about every Ghostbusters and GI joe toy you can imagine, they were played with but had every little accessory, there was a bunch the playsets and everything."

"In the other bag was pretty much every LEGO of the early 80s sets, still in their original boxes. I was a big LEGO nerd but was totally thrown off by the old school space ones because they looked nothing like the 90s space sets. I think they even said "NASA" the minifig's chests."

"That was like a random day in July, it felt like Christmas. I was 9 years old and it was basically like the best day of my life up to that point." - Zombgief

Who Throws Away Money?

spongebob squarepants money GIF Giphy

"A jar full of quarters."

"Annual spring cleaning projects happen in a lot of towns where anyone can put almost anything on the curb and it's taken away for free. It's to stop open dumping or stuff being dumped in ditches."

"Sometimes people deal with estates from winter by just dumping all their grandfather's stuff on the curb for the cleanup to get the house empty immediately. Most often they don't even bother to look at what they are throwing away."

"In 2012 on north road in Akwesasne I found an estate pile that I shuttled back and forth with my bike trailer getting lots of older tools like a scythe, hammers, saws, screwdrivers and wrenches, a 22 rifle with 100 round of ammo, a bunch of ar15 magazines, cast iron cookware, oil lamps, a hand crank food mill with all kinds of accessories, a black raven axe head (worth $100 easily since they are a collectable), and a quart size mason jar full of change mostly quarters."

"That was spring and the sheriffs office did a gun buyback in the fall where I took the mags and got $20 each for them (30 round mags suddenly illegal under the safe act of fall 2012. The buyback was a local political move). I still got the 22 and picked off a lot of woodchuck with it in my gardens." - Bogtrotterso1980

Filing Fever

Files Workload GIF Giphy

"I own a small company which is located directly in front of a state funded program facility. The state decided to have this office shred all of their files as they were going to switch to electronic data (exclusively)."

"We found two of these old rotary filing cabinets outside of their office. They're worth almost $3k each!"

"They just placed them there and we saw them and asked what they planned on doing with them. They said, 'Hmmm.....either donate them or trash them.' The state told them simply to get rid of them."

"We jumped at this and took the two into our already tiny office because there was no way in hell that we were going to let these gems go. (We do use paper files, unfortunately)."

"They wanted to give us two smaller ones but seriously, our office is very small. I made some phone calls and they were picked up immediately by other office workers/friends." - GlitzBlitz

This Sucks - In A Good Way!

mrs doubtfire vacuum GIF Giphy

"In the 1990s my moms work had a really nice high end Hoover that stopped working. They threw it out."

"My mom took it home because my dad tinkers and repairs things easily. Turns out since it was a bagged vacuum all the dummies had to do is REPLACE THE BAG."

"Like it never occurred to them to do the most easy and basic step. My parents were excited to have a really upgraded vacuum. Maybe like $500ish." - schweddyboobs

Tiffany's Trash

Audrey Hepburn Movie GIF by The Good Films Giphy

"My dad found an old stained glass window laying out by someone's trash. He thought it would look cool hanging in our cabin, so he stopped and grabbed it."

"It sat in our garage for a few years before he looked at it more closely and found "Tiffany and Co." branding on it. He got in touch with some stained glass window dude who figured it was worth about $40k fully restored, so my dad sold it to him for somewhere around $30k." - throwaway_stopdrink

Have you had any awesomely trashtastic treasures? Let us know!

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