Why do we buy compulsively? I've lost track of how many mornings I've woken up to an Amazon purchase that made no sense. Like who in the world believed we were gonna ZAP the fat away? (Apparently I did! Thanks vodka) So many of these random products have emptied endless bank accounts just because the sale was so enticing or because we saw it on 'Shark Tank'. Damn them. Hold onto your pennies people. Don't make purchases as sheep.
Redditor u/WeirdDude_95 wanted to know what useless things we shouldn't wasted our money on by asking..... What's the worst hyped up product you have ever used?Slap
Napoleon Dynamite Fighting GIF
Giphy
Slap Chop is absolutely useless. What the commercial doesn't tell you is that all the food just gets stuck in the blade. It's literally impossible to do multiple slaps in a row because you have to scrape the food out of the blade after each one. Just use a knife instead.
Face Issues.
Proactiv for cleaning your face. Meant to help get rid of pimples. But it didn't do anything. I counted the days I used it and I think I used it for about 200 days before finally realizing that the product is a waste of time and money.
No amount of topical product will get rid of hormonal or cystic acne. This is the only truth I've learned in my 30+ years of being alive and still dealing with occasional breakouts as an adult. They told me this crap would go away after puberty but monthly cycle hormones disagreed.
All for $60....
The original Hatchimal.
You give it to a kid who then has to be patient because it takes ages to hatch, then it hatches and that's it. Only hatches once and does nothing else exciting. All for $60. I worked at TRU when they were all the rage and hard to find. Just shook my head every time someone dropped that kind of dough on it.
Launch Fail
Anthem. This game killed the hype within hours of launch.
Let me put it this way... the one kind of interesting/novel (and specific) idea in the game, the flight? It was something an EA executive pushed for, and which the devs fought against including, and ultimately crippled.
Sort of sums up that game perfectly.
Jason Schreier did a couple of good write-ups on that game over on Kotaku if you want all the dirt.
Wow those Eggs....
eggs GIF
Giphy
Costco sells Super Extra-Large Peanuts under their Kirkland brand. "Holy crap," I thought, "they must be the size of eggs!" When I got them home and opened the package, I was disappointed to find that they were approximately the size of peanuts.
The Rolling Revolution....
The Segway.
Edit: Not saying segways are terrible, but the older people here will remember the hype. It was supposed to "revolutionize" the way we travel. Now it's only used by mall cops or tour guides.
Big cities quickly banning it from sidewalks really crippled it. It is also the sort of thing that seems nice when you imagine you are the only one around with one and everyone gets out of your way, but imagine the congestion if the actually became popular.
Ah Snugs....
Consensus: if it's advertised using infomercials or a shopping channel, don't buy it.
Disagree. The Snuggie has been a great investment. Works exactly as they claimed and fills a need that I've always had (arms get cold while reading).
Ah yes the Snuggie! They were pretty cool. The exception that makes the rule
My thought on the Snuggie was that it was just a bathrobe worn backwards.
Skip the Beat....
Beats headphones. I totally fell for the hype. Twice. That is an absolute garbage product. Both sets literally fell apart and the sound quality was not worth it.
Thank you!! I had one pair and the sound was ok but the headphones themselves were super uncomfortable. I bought a pair of Sony headphones for about 1/3 of the price and they are 10 times better.
Google Fail.
Google glass.
The only person I've ever seen use one was this dude who dyed his beard pink and treated everyone around him, including wait staff, like crap. That guy was insufferable, and the Google glass didn't help.
The only person I've ever seen use one was a Google employee on the Google campus. He let me try it but I guess I didn't understand the point. It was just a tiny faint blue screen in front of one of my eyes.
Twinked....
happy dance GIF by Coleture Group
Giphy
Twinkies, they seemed to be everywhere in the TV shows imported to the UK and so I always wanted to try one. When I finally did it tasted of disappointment and dust, worst Christmas gift ever.
Magic
When I was a young kid, I saw the Fushigi Ball commercial on TV. It claimed it was a "magic gravity ball". After begging my parents, I finally got it and it was more than just a disappointment. The only good thing I got was a lesson on how marketing works.
The Wizard...
savage GIF
Giphy
The Nintendo Powerglove.
Fred Savage's movie The Wizard really sold that junk as elite status gamer equipment. It didn't really work. Oh, for sure.
But most of us didn't want to admit it didn't work, so we just kept messing with arranging and resetting and recalibrating the little sensors that went on the corner of the TV. Hoping that if we just got it set up right this time it would work. And of course every now and then it would kind of almost work which would keep your hope going.
In the end most of us ended up just playing with the standard (backup) controller that was built into the wrist pad. At least it looked kind of futuristic.
Flames....
The Boring Company Not-a-Flamethrower. Damn trigger started breaking after one can of propane, so now it's finicky getting it to start/stop "throwing flame".
Spyra One. Seemed like it was going to be the best squirt gun ever made. It's neat, but far from the best thing ever. Maybe if they were cheaper?
Vicks Vap-o-Rub....
Head On - Apply Directly to the Forehead!
Crap was like a glue stick made of Vicks Vap-o-Rub. I've learned that headaches exist in countless forms and that everyone has their preferred method of dealing with them. I'm very sensitive to smells, so rubbing a cooling agent on my head like those has the opposite effect for me. In my case, I usually have some coffee as the caffeine really helps. I also take a nasal decongestant if they're really bad and that helps the throbbing go away.
Forget Madden
Madden 21. This game sucks big time.
Worst part is to NOT get the games cancelled or postponed you have to pay for the DLC, but it's EA so you should have been expecting that.
Madden is the same thing as FIFA, same game every year. Just it doesn't get made fun of as much.
Painful Feathers....
wake up friends GIF
Giphy
Sock 'em Boppers. Turns out they are NOT more fun than a pillow fight.
They were painful! Imagine getting hit full force with a wet towel on your face. Thats how it felt. Forget those things.
make it rain....
Received a ridge wallet as a gift. Absolutely the stupidest most inconvenient thing I've ever seen. You know why every single wallet making company makes identical wallets? Because they work perfectly and require no improvement,and they hold coins, and you can see each one of your cards before you take them out, and you don't have to clip your cash to the outside of the freaking things so everytime you pull it out of your pocket you make it rain unintentionally.
The YT Generation....
Was a fan of this GTA YouTuber for a long time, and of course around Christmas time he made ugly Christmas sweater merch. His looked bad so I asked my mom to buy me one. 30 damn dollars, plus I think 12 for shipping. Comes in three days before Xmas Eve and mom lets me open it early.
It turned out to be literally just a normal red sweatshirt with the "Xmas sweater" design on the chest in a small square. Didn't even cover the full chest. Probably about 4" x 4.5" on the center of the chest part. About 45 bucks for just that. Next time I buy YT merch, it's gonna be a more popular one so the merch isn't so crappy.
Balloon Destruction
That machine that blew up a crap ton of water balloons at once, came out probably 6 or 7 years ago and I asked my mum for it and showed her the commercial and she agreed it looked real fun so she ordered one, and we got it and some of the nozzles weren't working so it probably blew up about half of what it said it would but still there were probably about 20 balloons tied and everything. It barely blows them up before tying them and i don't know what God awful rubber they used because getting hit by one was like getting hit by a freaking rock, then it would fall to the ground and break open.
I hate tickles....
sesame street fainting GIF
Giphy
With my kids when they were little... Tickle Me Elmo. Sorry Elmo! I still love ya but... really? Day after Christmas, you were in the bottom of the toy box.
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Like it truly doesn't matter if you're in the woods to cut it down or to enjoy the splendor - you should still know that bears will eat your face off and they don't necessarily kill you first.
Reddit user ihavethebestmarriage asked:
"What are some reddit rookie mistakes?"
So here's how to avoid getting your proverbial face eaten off by an e-bear on Reddit.
"Reliable Source"
"Thinking consensus on Reddit represents widely accepted views in outside world."
-Wkwkbr453
"I used to secretly make fun of people who quoted Reddit as a credible source before I joined. Now I increasingly find myself starting sentences with, 'I read on Reddit…'."
-Laleena_
"That’s your mistake. You just have to say 'I read that…..' and never mention that your source is a random Reddit comment."
-outofdate70shouse
"Yes. To avoid the shame."
-foxsimile
The Nothing Awards
GIF by Australian OpenGiphy"Unnecessary award speech edits"
-User Deleted
"Also: following up with a 'what do I do with this gold' question."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-BaconReceptacle
"Also: What do I do with all this karma."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
-Zarniwoooop
Advertisements
"My mom joined reddit and was posting in subreddits related to her work."
"She wasn't constantly shilling, but would if the person was in her service area, mention her business explicitly."
"Her username even included her business name in it."
"I had to explain that Reddit wasn't really supposed to be a marketing tool in the same way Twitter or Facebook were."
-deqb
"It is, though, you just have to frame it in a cutesy way so that people can pretend you aren't marketing: "
" 'I just started my business! Here's a cupcake I made!' "
"Predictable redditor or sock puppet account: 'I would buy one of those!! Where are you located??'."
-angrymonkey
"No, it's better to say 'I just found this business, they look like they could really use support'."
"A LOT of those posts are self-advertising, as reddit generally is against that, along with it being against the rules in a lot of subreddits."
"Know someone who used to help smaller businesses do that, basically advertise their stuff pretending to be a 'genuine' person who just happened to discover and post about their stuff."
"Happens a lot more than people think, even on a large scale. Businesses have been hiring actors and people to pretend to like their products for ages now."
-asdaaaaaaaa
Social Standing
Giphy"I had no idea my low social status could keep my posts from going live."
" 🥺 That explains a lot"
-Intelligent-Snow-138
"This is to prevent new accounts bots from polluting the place, your karma will rack up quickly as you interact with people, give and get awards, etc."
-Duuuuuuuuuuh
"I just gave you a my gifted silver award… now it’s prompting me to buy more awards."
"I didn’t realize people were paying to give awards and now I went from wondering 'how' to wondering 'why'…"
-BlondeBimbo123456789
A/S/L
"It irritates me to no end when people treat Reddit like it's a 90s forum used by 37 people."
" 'I'm new here, first time poster' "
-UnusualGenePool
"a/s/l ?"
-Tokugawa
"My first reply to a question like that was '14/not yet/home'."
"I was a dumb kid in the 90s."
-jazzmester
"I like to say: I don't really know American Sign Language, but I am trying to learn"
-TheAres1999
In The First Place
george w bush door GIFGiphy"Joining reddit in the first place"
-UselessAndUnlovable
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
-RoboTurbo2
" 'Relax, ' said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive'."
-Glock1Omm
"Exactly. Leaving is the easy part. It's staying away that's tough."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Reddit is like Runescape. You never stop once you start. You just take breaks"
-Merry_Dankmas
Lurk Hard, Play Hard
Tim And Eric Reaction GIFGiphy"LURK MORE."
"Spend some time in a subreddit before commenting."
"Read the rules, read the FAQ, read the top-voted posts. Spend a week and see what topics come up often. Search prior posts which discuss the same topic you want to post about."
-whomp1970
"I browsed comments for like a year before I even made an account."
-Gsusruls
"I wish that I could remember what comment I needed to make so badly that I created an account after more than a year of lurking."
-lotus_eater123
This.
"When you comment 'This.' under someone else’s comment."
"Just give them your upvote and move on, no need to comment if you aren’t adding anything meaningful to the topic"
-Crewso
"underrated comment"
-milesmac
"Louder for the people in the back!"
-the_amazing_lee01
"THIS"
-Demonic321_zse
Believe
"Believing everything you read and at the same time disbelieving everything you read that goes against your personal opinion/narrative."
"Having a healthy dose of skepticism without being a jerk about it is a good life skill in general."
-CobaltHeadHunter
"Yup but that’s not just reddit rookies, that’s 80% of the global population."
-mini-mum-wage
"A good habit I’m working to build is whenever I have a question about anything, even if I’m thinking to myself, I google it."
"It helps build a strong knowledge base."
-CobaltHeadHunter
Shh
jim carey comedy GIFGiphy"Responding to every reply to your AskReddit post."
"Just shhhh"
-ZsaFreigh
"I do this LOL. I like doing it because I asked a question and people have responded, so I respond back because I want them to know that I read it and found what they said interesting."
-mini-mum-wage
"I do it because I have nothing else to do."
-Cheap_Ad_69
"Every comment boosts the likelihood that the post will survive more than an hour."
"Askreddit new is brutal. Unless you get a bunch of comments or karma within 30 minutes or so, your post will die a quiet death."
"Then its really just shh"
-lotus_eater123
And there you have it - a survival manual for the wildest place I'm the universe.
Reddit.
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Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
Travel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
Smoke Smoking GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
Tired Good Night GIF by HBO MaxGiphy"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
Jimmy Fallon Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
angry youre mine GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
Love You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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