The way we as humans treat others can often be horrific. It can be especially awful when we are causing pain with a purpose. We need someone to tell a secret or pay for a crime. But one awful act joined with another does not make anything right. And torture is just wrong no matter what.
Redditor u/Normie_trash_69 wanted to discuss the truth about the worst of humanity by asking..... What is the most horrific torture device or execution method you've ever seen, fictional or nonfictional?
The Syrian Ministry of the Interior used a tool called the "Black Slave" that was basically a chair where the torture victim would sit on while nude. In the space under the cushion were large very hot skewers that would enter the victims anus and keep going it reached the intestines. They would do a push/pull method until the victim collapsed under the stress or spoke. ChairForces
This is completely fictional. But I think in the mummy or some movie like that some immortal dude got locked in a sarcophagus with scarab beetles that would eat him forever. JBatjj
The pear of anguish looks pretty damn awful.
"The pear consisted of a metal body (usually pear-shaped) divided into spoon-like segments that could be operated by turning a screw.
This contraption was originally meant to be inserted to one's mouth to crank the key piece to expand the metallic petals. The quadruple or triple petals expand outward, forcing the victim's inner mouth capacity to stretch beyond its limits." Yeah yeah, I know it was used for other orifices, but mouth was the original intention.
Spanish Donkey was another good one. _ripzayn
Tying someone up, keeping them fed and hydrated and injecting heroin into them for months until one day you decide to just leave them to deal with dehydration, starvation and withdrawals. I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS
Not the most screwed up but it's definitely a weird one.
White Torture is a form of sensory deprivation where the imprisoned is kept in a white room, made to wear white clothes, as are all the guards and they're even served white food on white plates. The lights are kept on at all times, no one was allowed to speak, and their shoes are padded to muffle sound.
The lack of color is apparently very mentally damaging. To quote Iranian journalist, Ebrahim Nabavi:
It is terrible. The loneliness never leaves you, long after you are "free." LittleRedLamps
In an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Chief O'Brien had 20 years of prison time implanted in his memories. He never actually went to the prison, but he thought he did. It messed him up. He tried to kill himself over it.
The writers of Star Trek really had it out for Chief O'Brien, poor guy. BagelDesk
Rat in a hotbox chained to a mans chest. BrokenMatchet
Dies too fast. The rat is placed on the condemned's stomach, so the rats eat his guts first trying to flee the heat. Spaiduhz
I once witnessed a father with his 3 year old daughter watching the baby shark video on his phone, once it ended she would scream until he restarted the video, she watched that video about 10 times in a row and the look on his face was that of pure depression, so I'm going to go with that. pops992pops992
Passed Out Agony...Giphy
This old guy I used to work with would tell stories about torture in Vietnam, and this one stuck with me:
They'd tie the captive to a chair with his hands behind his back and bring in a hooker. She would pull his pants down and dance, touch, whatever was necessary to get him erect.
Then they would take a thin bamboo reed and slide it down his urethra.
And they'd bend his penis in the middle really quick so that it snapped off inside. Monsieur_Pounce
The Judas cradle
You are stripped down and tied up by your and and legs. You are the suspended from the ceiling and dropped down butt first one a large metal spike. Most people bleed to death. thatoneguywhohasadog
It would be hard to beat impaling, dying slowly over days with a wooden pole through your body. Vlad Tepes impaled kids too.
Keelhauling - the victim is dragged along the underside of a ship so that the barnacles will cut and shred them whilst simultaneously drowning them.
Fun fact. You were sometimes meant to be able to survive it - if you were hauled from side to side it was possibly survivable (I mean infection and whatnot made it a gamble). You could also be hauled from bow to stern. Less survivable.
Lingchi, an ancient form of torture/execution from China in which the condemned is slowly and systematically cut into pieces through the use of literally hundreds/thousands of knives.
Upside down sawing from groin all the way down. Blood stays in your head so you stay conscious. So awful.
The one where they put you in a metal bull and then heat it with a fire so that when you cook your screams can be heard and then when you start to boil your water escapes in steam out of its nose it pretty horrific.
The Coop Prison....
There was a TIL on this a while back on the Thailand chicken coop prison, where you'd be under the coop in the cell and the chicken's droppings would fall on you with no escape.
Everyone commenting said that'd be the grossest smell and torturous.
One of the most brutal I ever heard of was that of Robert-Francois Damien. Damien attempted to assassinate King Louis XV in 1757 so he was sentenced to death. Thousands of people showed up to witness the execution... First, the hand he attempted to stab the king with was dipped in ethanol and then lit on fire. Then they took red hot metal pincers and ripped away his calves, quads, pecs, biceps, and triceps. They then poured molten metal into the gaping wounds where his muscles once were. After that, that tied each limb to a horse and made them ride in opposite directions. When it was clear that they weren't pulling hard enough to rip him apart, the soldiers beat Damien's joints with hammers to speed up the process. The entire ordeal lasted over 4 hours.
While not explicitly for torture, there is a pretty horrific method in a short story called "The Jaunt." Some time in the future, humanity invents a method of instant teleportation. The thing is you need to be knocked out by anesthesia prior to using it. The story goes into the history of the machine where testing on animals and, later on, humans revealed that though the process of teleportation is outwardly instant, the conscious mind of the teleportee experiences billions of years in a white void, alone but for the company of their own thoughts, unable to move, unable to die.
One scientist shoves his wife, awake, into a machine and closes off the end point. He is convicted of murder because, although she is technically still alive, she's screaming somewhere in the ether, alone, for all of eternity.
Bamboo honeymoon is what I call it. I'm sure they had another name
But essentially you get strapped in a case over bamboo and left there. They will come to feed you and put honey on your body, face and make sure you stay alive, so you feel every inch of your body eaten by animals and insects, while the bamboo is growing into your rear end.
It sometimes took up to 40 days for prisoners to die, when I remember correctly. And this is nonfictional.
I cant come up with anything worse, really.
They leave you in a tub of water, constantly feed you so that you keep on pooping. You end up covered in your own poop until your body starts getting devoured by the parasites which appear within your poop.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
"Your mama so fat, her memory foam mattress wish it could forget."- cuirboyFat GIFGiphy
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyonthe emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphy
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.
As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sobbed in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.
The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.
Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.
Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.
Reddit user itchellFamily1045 asked:
"Which show do you think you're the only person who remembers it exists?"
It was David the Gnome for me (which I found out originated in Spain and was much more popular in France than it was in the US. Apparently, I was a Euro-trash hipster as a child), but let's take a look at what got Reddit.
Classic Wheel Of Fortunewheel through the years GIF by Wheel of FortuneGiphy
"It's funny how nobody seems to remember the early seasons of Wheel of Fortune with host Chuck Woolery. You didn't win any cash. You had to choose prizes from a selection of things set up in a room-like fashion."
"They still had the prize room with sajak for a while I believe. Camera would just pan across the room and the winner would try not to pick the stupidest things. Cause the items all had fn price tags on em and you'd only have the $ amount you won. Infuriating"
"A broyhill coffee table!!"
"Always ending up with the porcelain dog statue cause it was all you had left after buying expensive items."
"I still think about the episode where everyone who stayed young, slept in Tupperware, and when their lids got taken off, aged overnight."
"One of my favorite moments on the show had Marshall and Simon hanging out in Simon's room, one night. Through the walls you can hear a man and a woman laughing lecherously."
"Marshall: 'It sounds like your mom and dad are having a party'."
"Simon: 'Mom's not home'."
"It was a great weird kids' show, but some of the gags they managed to sneak in were hilarious."
"I work w a dude whose daughter was on that show, We were just randomly chatting and he was telling me how she had done some modelling/acting when she was little"
" 'you probably dont know the show but...'."
" 'like hell i dont that show was great'."
"Early edition- get tomorrow's newspaper today"
"I loved that show! What a concept!"
"Omg omg omg"
"Quality 90s tv, right there. A warm-fuzzy show."
Herman's Headtalking marge simpson GIFGiphy
"Anyone remember Herman’s Head?"
"It had the woman that does the voice for Lisa Simpson and the woman that went on to play Ross' exwife on friends was one of the characters in his head."
" It has 2 Simpsons voice actors- Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria. I seem to remember that they were offered the roles- and maybe the whole show existed? - because they didn’t want to be ‘just’ VA’s, and FOX wanted to placate them."
"That’s a real show?? They reference it on 'only murders in the building'.”
"I came for this one too!"
The Garry Shandling Show
"The Gary Shandling Show. No, not the Larry Sanders Show - Gary Shandling Show. Even the theme song breaks the fourth wall."
"This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle, then we'll watch It's Gary Shandling's Show."
"Yeah, Garry Shandling and Tracey Ullman are pretty much tied up in my memory."
"Best theme song EVER!"
"My partner LOVES the theme to that show! Plays it in the background every now and then, it's a riot!"
"Mid-2000s show on Fox that was apparently too weird even for Fox. I think they canceled it halfway through the 1st season."
"I have the DVD. Excellent show that I still toss in every once in a while."
"The producers had planned out some storylines all the way to S3. The S2 cliffhanger was supposed to be Jaye being sent to the mental hospital where she had helped put away some guest stars, including the woman who tried to kill the therapist with gift store items, and the boy who bought the russian mail order bride."
"Bryan Fuller's early work."
Mary Hartman Square
"Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
"I remember watching this with my dad and my sister after the 11:00 pm news. I was in like 6th grade. That's what happens when there's no mom around. 😂"
"Her husband fell into a vat of paint thinner at work, and he needed to have plastic surgery over every inch of his body, so he requested to look like Tab Hunter."
"I thought her husband drowned in a bowl of soup. Maybe her first husband? That show was trippy af"
"Her neighbor's husband. The clip is on YouTube."
"Spin off of a spin off or Mary Tyler Moore as I recall, right? Wasn't Rhonda the first spinoff?"
"Not a spin-off. Mary Hartman was a very bizarre show for its time, a parody of a soap opera. Louise Lasser played Mary, and she was this weirdly detached character surrounded by crazy drama and violence. I think it might have been the first place I saw Martin Mull."
"Terranova, ran for like a single season then disappeared"
"I loved that show! So annoying they didn’t get a second season."
"I was a young kid when it aired on TV so i dont remember much of it, but I recall it being a recurring topic with my mom every now and then"
"oh god I’m old. I thought it was only a few years ago. I just looked it up and it was 11. Excuse me while I go get an AARP application."
"It’s that old?! Holy sh*t, grab me an application too, please. It seriously felt like just a couple of years ago."
"Karen Valentine was probably the cutest girl ever on a tv show. I used to love when she would be on the original Hollywood Squares."
"She was the only reason anyone watched that show."
"I loved that show! My mom, my sisters and I would watch that show every Friday night. The cast was really good — Karen Valentine was a really cute and bubbly teacher, and Michael Constantine was great as the high school principal"
"Yes! I swear this was the first one I thought of! And Under the Umbrella Tree!"
"If you have the Paramount streaming app, it's on there!"
"Spicy, salty, sour, sweet, bring us something good to eat!"
"I’m in my late thirties and still vividly remember the Christmas special episode where Magellan gets lost in the woods."
"Eureka’s Castle was the jam!"
"*Worms going err errrr ER err ere rrr*"
Let's talk about the shows nobody remembers but you.
Are they those early childhood favorites? Or maybe a teen-drama that only got one season before Netflix pulled it, crushing your hopes and dreams of resolved plotlines about a teenage ghost band who died of poisoned hot dogs and the incredibly talented, but heartbroken, young singer who gives them a new lease on life, love, and music?
No that is not a joke and YES I am still angry about Netflix not giving Julie and the Phantoms a second season.
Maybe it's a soap opera you think you remember watching with your mom, but maybe it was a fever dream?
Whatever it is, we want to hear about it.