
First dates are terrifying. I don't care what anyone says.
They're stressful, they're awkward, they're high-pressure, and honestly, that's just me worrying about myself. Factoring in another human being and being out in public is a whole other nightmare for my anxiety.
One Reddit user asked:
What first date behavior is a dealbreaker?
... and then I suddenly realized I was so stressed about *me* being a disaster on the first date, that I forgot to factor in the possibility that the other person could potentially hop aboard the hot mess express.
The thread initially started out with people just sort of listing general dealbreakers:
Keep It Clean
Smelly, greasy hair, and no effort in appearance. If the first date isn't important enough for you to even shower, then how important will the relationship be to you
My roommate went out with a girl and hadn't showered in days. Then she said it wasn't going to work out with the other girl because the other girl didn't shave her legs.
... you'll notice I said things "started" with people listing the little things. But WOW did it devolve pretty quickly.
There really isn't a better way to talk about disaster first-date dealbreakers than to just share your war stories, right?
And OMG the war stories.
I Love You
Immediately starting with the "I love you" attitude...
- koravel
Had a girl tell me she thought she loved me about half way through our first date once.
I brushed it off as flirty banter then toward the end of our meal she says:
"You know how I know you love me? You didn't say that you didn't love me when I said I loved you"
and there you have the reason for no second date.
- JonWoo89
You Don't Own Me
Possessive behaviour. If this is how you act with someone you've just met, how would a relationship with you be?
On the first, and only, date i beat him at air hockey. He got super serious and in my face and told me to never talk about air hockey again...
I'm glad they make it so easy to pick them out. They almost always start on the first or second date. It's usually something small like telling you that their responsibility is to protect you or snapping when you walk the wrong way (real examples). Once they do that you can be sure that if you continue dating them they will try their hardest to ruin your life.
MLM
Taking me to a multi-level marketing seminar. (actually happened).
I did not sign up and told her afterwards I was not interested. Thank God I didn't tell her my last name or she could have easily spammed me with junk mail.
Lol, this happened to me too.
Long story short:
Girl from my high school who I hadn't seen in a few years calls me up. She said she missed me and wanted to catch up.
Let's have dinner at this hotel steakhouse, hell yeah.
We walk inside the hotel, into the conference room with tables set up. She flirts with me, I'm going to score. Hell yeah!
Some dude sites next to her, she lets me know it's her husband. Some dude gets on the stage and starts being loud, but I'm sort of not paying attention.
Guy starts screaming about how he has a Ferrarri, look at his Ferrarri keys! Sell like me and you can have a Ferrarri as well!!!! Woooo!!!
Made and excuse about going to the bathroom, walked a few miles to some other place. Called my mom, she picked me up and took me home. Lol
Until people essentially gave up on just listing the dealbreaker offense and started spilling their stories.
Sharing is caring, fam.
The Wallet
Best to just relate my all-time favorite 'worst 1st date' & ultimate deal-breaker: A friend set me up on a date w/ one of her co-workers that I'd only met once at her place of employment.
The only time I had available was a Saturday right before my Yoga class, so we agree to meet up at a place I'd never eaten at. Mind you, the date who'd eaten there before, suggested a place that was near where my class was.
I show up wearing my Yoga clothes: NO POCKETS, loose-fitting sweater: NO POCKETS, and a small 4 by 5 inch fanny pack. The no pockets thing will be relevant later.
We have lunch - everything was going great. Then just before the bill arrives the date goes to the bathroom, comes back, still having a great time we finish our meal, the bill comes (50/50 split), all of the sudden the date can't find their LARGE motorcycle type wallet w/ their money in it then proceeds to accuse me of stealing it while they were in the bathroom & putting in my 'pocket'!
I stood up pointing out that I didn't have any pockets, opened my fanny pack to show other than 20 bucks, my ID and gym membership card it was too small to fit anything as big as your standard sized motorcycle wallet.
It didn't matter that I had 20 witnesses who verified that I NEVER left my seat much less the restaurant. The idiot date proceeded to throw a Kevin/Karen sized tantrum demanding to search my car, so I gave the waitress my ID then had her call the cops to escort me & the idiot out to my car and proved I did NOT have 'the wallet' or anything else in there. Idiot comes back in, cop takes a report, leaves & then Idiot proceeds to claim that the waitress and I are friends and in cahoots, that 'we' stole it & the waitress is hiding the wallet in the back. I reiterate ''You chose this place, I do not know anyone here, I've NEVER been here before!"Since, I'd only brought enough to cover my meal I ended calling my Stay-At-Home-Mother sister, to come there & lend me enough cash to cover the whole bill, skipped my Yoga Class and went home in a huff, called my friend, told her what happened - she was shocked.
Monday rolls around, idiot gets to work, opens their desk, and boom there's the wallet! Idiot call me to say I'm so sorry and wants to know if can we please have a do-over date - my response: 'OH HELL TO THE NO, Insult me by calling me a liar & a thief, stiff me w/ the full $40 bill, invade my privacy by demanding to search my car, you had your chance, you blew it & ya can rot in hell for all I care.'
Indonesia
Once, I was talking to this girl online, and things were going pretty well, so we decided to go for dinner.
I showed up to the place five minutes early, so I waited. And kept waiting.
Texted her 15 mins after we were scheduled to meet, but didn't get a response. Waited for another 45 mins then left.
She messaged me later saying that she wasn't there because she lives in Indonesia. I live in New Jersey.
Toddler Behavior
I'd been talking to a girl for a few weeks. We went to see a movie and she starts sucking her thumb like a baby while watching the movie.
I'm thinking "weird tick I guess but okay"
Halfway through the movie she gets really emotional, drops to the floor and starts rolling around like a toddler. After about 10 minutes she gets up and acts like nothing happened, I don't know what to say at this point.
At one point during the day she starts telling me about another date she went on where she saw her friend halfway through and was speaking to her and the guy just walked off without saying bye or anything.
As she's telling me this we bump into a girl she knows, they're talking for a bit and I try to introduce myself but she cuts me off to talk about something different. They're both acting like I'm not even there, this goes on for 30 minutes. Half an hour of me just standing there as if I'm I don't know either of them while it seems like they're both actively ignoring me.
I try to say goodbye but it's literally like I'm completely invisible.
I figure at that point either she didn't like me and somehow planned this intervention from her friend to save blatant turning me down or she's just a rude person so I just walk away.
I get on the bus to go home and I get a message "hey why did you walk away?"
I was 17 at the time and it's the strangest date I've ever been on to this day.
Taco Bell Sells Coffee?
Well on one first date I had, the dude told me he used to be in a gang and killed 6 people. He then drove us into oncoming traffic, told me that there were 3 loaded guns in the car (this ride lasted at least 45 minutes there and back.)
Also, told me he was bipolar and was not taking any medication for it.
But the dealbreaker was when he stopped to get coffee at Taco Bell.
I got coffee at Taco Bell once. I was there for the cheap breakfast, but I thought I could use the caffeine. Pretty sure they just handed me a cup with like 4 shots of creamer and no coffee. It was not drinkable.
XXXtra Oh No
A guy where I worked was hitting on a girl on the lunch truck for over a month. She finally said she would go out with him. So for the first date he took her to a XXX porn show!
Aparently she excused herself to go to the bathroom after a few minutes and never came back. I felt so sorry for her, I would have been scared out of my mind to be with someone that "off".
- readit2u
My mom had this happen to her! She said no over and over to this guy, until finally she gave it a shot and said yes. He took her to a porno drive in and then tried to pretend that he hadn't known and that they should stay. She absolutely refused and pitched a huge fit so he would take her home.
SO, in the "sharing is caring" spirit, I will answer by throwing one of my weirder dating disasters out there.
In college, I went on a date with someone who ordered a pound of crab legs... and then informed me that he could not open crab legs.
I, a broke college student and expert crab leg inhaler, watched in horror as he maimed 2.5 legs before it was too much and I asked if he wanted help.
I ended up cracking them all open for him while he sat there all awkward like a little kid waiting on mommy.
Interestingly, I had a similar thing happen a second time about a year later and this time the guy asked for lessons and it ended up kinda cute/competitive. We were good friends for years.
So I don't know if there's some whack dating handbook floating around South Florida encouraging people who don't know how to open crab legs to then open crab legs ... but stop it. The book is lying to you.
When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"

Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
Inadequate clothes.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
Mobility challenges.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
Unwanted nicknames.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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