Ok, before I get into this article, I have to reference that old Twilight Zone episode where Burgess Meredith is the last man on Earth. No one would let him read, so now he's super stoked because he has “time enough at last" to read every single book. But then....his glasses break.
“It's not fair. There was time now."
Super depressing! Sadly, for four-eyed nerds like myself, everything we do relies on whether or not we have our glasses. Personally, I can't stand contacts, so if I don't have glasses on my face every waking hour, I'm screwed.
Here are a few more people who experience what myself and Burgess Meredith go through on a daily basis.
U/Gabby_Craft asked: Glasses people of Reddit, what is the worst thing that's happened to your glasses?
I think the biggest glasses breakers are children by far. But they break sh*t all the time, so that’s not surprising.
Bye bye glasses.
Don't laugh, but.
Okay, you're going to laugh, and almost 20 years later I can handle it, but I couldn't have handled it for the first year or two.
At a birthday party in middle school I was trying to be festive so I tied balloons to my glasses and they floated away and were gone forever.
I was at the beach and buried my glasses so that I could find them later as hidden treasure. Turns out using palm trees as landmarks is a bad idea, especially if you can't see.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
justin long dodgeball GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
Giphy
I was in like 5th grade. We were playing dodgeball. I took a shot in the face that sent my glasses flying and we had to pause the game so I could get one of the lenses popped back into the frame. Play resumes. Like two minutes later, boimpf, face shot again from the same kid, who probably needed glasses himself, now that I think about it.
Our gym teacher stopped the whole game and made us go inside and sit down, and the whole class was like "good job, Acrollo," and I'm there with a bloody nose and busted glasses and I'm like "how is it my fault some other dumdum can't get his throws below chest level?"
Nowadays I still wear glasses, and I have two boys under 3, so my glasses are constantly smudged because my kids are adventurous and kinda handsy-in-the-facey when you're down on their level. Seriously considering Lasik at this point.
Dumb indeed.
I was a dumb middle schooler. I'd not been wearing glasses for long, probably only 2 years at that point. I had these super neat glasses that were supposedly "kid-resistant" and they had flexible metal so that you could bend them at the nosepiece and they wouldn't break.
I started showing them off, twisting the glasses around and locking them into themselves, like twisting them as far as they could go. After a certain amount of time that I don't remember because this was about 20 years ago, they'd finally had enough and snapped, right in the middle of the nosepiece.
It was not a fun time when I got home from school that day. My mom was livid.
It isn’t always our fault though. Sometimes we just have really crappy friends/family members/partners.
I hope you replaced the friend too.
I watched them shatter on concrete because of friend of mine wanted to see how bad my eyes were. Instead of accepting NO as a logical response, she yanked them off my face, they went flying, and ended up in a thousand pieces. I’m near sighted and need my glasses to drive. Needless to say, I picked up my car a few days after I got replacements.
At least the fish can see now.
Water Walking GIF by Cezar Iliescu
Giphy
I was out on a boat fishing with my ex Father-in-Law when he flipped his pole to cast out his line and the hook caught my glasses and flipped them 20 feet from the boat into 150 feet of water. The worst part was watching them sink to the bottom of the lake on the damn fish finder screen!
Relatable.
So, this happened to a friend of mine. She wears glasses and had only one pair as she'd broken a pair a week prior to this incident (this will become important later).
So she had brought a guy home and he took her glasses off and put them on the bed just as things were getting hot and heavy. As they laid down, forgetting the glasses were on the bed, they crushed her glasses and got plastic digging into them.
She had no glasses and had to get an emergency prescription for the world's ugliest glasses which basically meant instead of a walk of shame, she wore the glasses of shame.
But most of the time, it just ends up being a freak accident.
Also relatable.
I'm pagan and so I do ceremonies pretty often with candles. During one particular ceremony I took off my glasses and placed them next to the candle to pray not even thinking about it. Once I was done with my prayer (thankfully a short one) I looked on my alter to see my new glasses were on fire and melting plastic all over. It was the part that wrapped around my ear so I could still wear them until I got a new pair next year.
Super glue is no joke.
Stay On 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLC
Giphy
I used Super Glue to do an on-the-fly repair of a crack in the frame above the lens. I didn't wait long enough before putting my glasses back on because I was already late for an important client meeting. The Super Glue bonded my glasses to my eyebrow. In the process of remedying this humiliating fiasco, I ended up yanking out half my eyebrow and re-breaking the very spendy frame into multiple, irreparable pieces. The client was amused.
This is a true nightmare.
Not my story (though I was there and do wear glasses):
I went on a chartered tour of Japan, and on the flight from Los Angeles to Narita, the guy in the aisle seat decided to take a nap. For whatever reason, he decided the safest place for his glasses was in one of his shoes, tucked safely under the seat in front of him.
Not so safe, as it turns out, because mild turbulence hit, his shoe went into the aisle, and the beverage cart rolled over it. After we landed, most of us went to the hotel but the tour guide had to take him to whatever Japan's version of Lenscrafters is to get a new pair at (he told us over breakfast the next day) astronomical cost.
I have NEVER gone on a trip without a spare pair of glasses since. I just keep them in my suitcase so I can never forget them.
That’s unlucky.
Had them blown off my face by one of those "splash mountain" type rides. But here's the kicker: I wasn't on the ride!
My dad took me and a buddy of mine to a amusement park that was about an hour and a half away. We're there for about 30 minutes before we see the water ride. The was a small bridge that crossed over the ride at the point where it hits the bottom and throws water all over the place. My buddy and me wanted to stand on the bridge and get doused by the water. Ride hits the water and splashes up and soaks us. We start to walk off the bridge, and I realize everything is blurry. The force from the water hitting us has knocked my glasses off! Try searching for half an hour, but can't find them. Had to leave, because I was almost blind (I'm really nearsighted).
I think we got to ride one ride, lost my glasses, then had to leave.
Sometimes it’s just pure, unadulterated violence that causes our glasses to shatter.
That’s a resourceful friend.
Glasses Seinfeld GIF
Giphy
Lord, this is for me. Once I was playing with some friends a game called "slo-mo fight". You guessed it, we were pretending to be punching each other but all in slow motion, which was hilarious. My friend pretended to punch me, I turned my head a lil too fast and my glasses fell on the floor.
Since I was blind at that moment, I fumbled around and stepped on them. Broke both branches, and couldn't fix them, so my friend glued a piece of ribbon on each side and for a weekend or something I looked like f*cking cat noir.
That’s a solid pair of glasses.
I was running late getting to school one day, and fell down a flight of stairs. I had a good pair of glasses, so they didn't break, but I did bend one arm to the point that I couldn't wear them. Luckily, I was able to get them bent back into place that day. I had those glasses until my prescription changed a few years ago.
Demolished.
Bent over mowing the lawn to grab a stick. Glasses were in my shirt pocket because I had my prescription sunglasses on instead.
Glasses fell out. Didn't notice until I was done. Bits of glasses all around.
Nice save.
homer simpson episode 13 GIF
Giphy
I was going over the drop on a rollercoaster and they fell off.
Then I somehow caught them and was so focused on holding on that I forgot to be scared of the ride.
Several years later, the same pair broke.... the lens broke out because I laughed at a joke.
Not a slam dunk.
The glasses I had around 4th grade were marketed as flexible and I told my friend if she bent them they wouldn't break so she tried it and they immediately snapped right in the middle of the bridge.
Also my first time trying basketball in 3rd grade someone missed a layup and when the ball came down it landed right on my eye and the lense popped out.
Personally, there's a reason why I now own four pairs of glasses. Lost my only pair one time and forced to wear dry contacts all day can do that to you. Always have backups!
And if you're the guy from Twilight Zone, it wouldn't hurt to have some large-print books around.
Of course, most of the time, it was “just a phase". And looking back, those phases are regrettable, to say the least. Here are some prime examples of that.
SirGergoyFriendman asked:
What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?
The enthusiasm of a young person can lead to some unexpected changes that parents are just not ready for.
Hi, Wheeljack!
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
Very 2008.
Ariana Grande Shrug GIFGiphyMy cat-ear phase. I wore cat ears every single day. Everywhere. I had like 20 pairs of them. Now everyone thinks I'm a furry.
I find that very cute and wouldn't have thought you'd be furry. Even if you'd had cat mittens. I think my suspicions would have started if you moved a bit like a cat, displayed catlike grooming habits or got a cat mask.
Not gonna lie, that car sounds cool.
I went to a car show once as a teen, and the only newer car there was some chick's PT cruiser. It was hot glittery pink, and at the time I was obsessed. I insisted that one day I would have a hot pink car, with pink seats, pink dash, pink carpets, etc. I was pretty heavily goth at the time, so my parents just rolled their eyes.
These phases can often lead to some very strange fashion choices.
That’s commitment.
When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those sh!tty sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally sh!tty chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out the door.
My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.
I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I'm wearing it because I refused to take it off.
One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.
Not everyone can be Eminem.
slim shady eminem GIFGiphyBaggy pants, being a rapper someday and being a professional skater.
When I was about 14 and Eminem was starting to blow up I bought myself a keyboard with a synthesizer. It cost like $200 which was all the money I had saved up. It finally came (this was way before amazon prime and such) and I tried rapping.
My sister told me "you're effing horrible" and I gave up right then and there.
This should be a sin.
I used to button the top buttons of polo shirts.
I must say, this is probably the worst one I've read.
Looking back at our regrettable choices, all we can do is cringe.
An optimistic look at bad tattoos.
check me out season 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphyBeing a tattooer. Regrettable because of those poor people who have my awful doodles on their bodies.
Take heart! My favorite tattoo is the one I drunkenly got my buddy to do in his living room one year during March Madness! It's dumb and frankly mediocre? But such a good story and has such good associations I smile every time I see it.
RIP Fredro’s.
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least two years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also two white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
Talk about cringey.
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
My weirdest phase was probably when I insisted on wearing knee-high rainbow socks to school every day. But honestly, I don't regret it. I rocked those socks, and I wish I still have a pair.
To all the people out there cringing over their past selves, remember that you were just a kid, and to be easy on yourselves. After all, we've all been there
Yet, too often, manufacturers who oversell their products fail to deliver what is promised and are inevitably left with angry customers who want their money back.
Whether the merchandise was defective or ridiculously overpriced, strangers online shared some of their worst purchases when Redditor BooksMcGee asked:
"What is the worst product you ever paid money for?"
Short Life Span
"This NERF gun that's supposed to shoot tennis balls for your dog. I bought it cause I thought you could load 3 at a time and shoot them far, but it's just one and it's super loud and the gun broke after like 4 shots (reading reviews later, this was a common issue)."
Lame Pets
"There were these toys called squiggles when I was a kid and the commercials made it seem like the toy was alive. It looked like you would get this crazy little fuzzy worms as pets that would follow you around an so sick tricks and listen to your every command. It was really just a piece of fluffy string tied to another piece of string with googly eyes on it. People may say that it was supposed to be a magic trick but they should also explain that to a 5 year old who really wanted a pet."
Card Value
"Not their fault, but I paid $70 for a Yugioh card hours before it was limited to one copy. Probably dropped to $20 by the end of the day."
These purchases were bad for your bum.
"A bicycle that literally fell apart before I made it out of the parking lot."
Not Worth Sitting On
"Joybird brand couch. Was so terrible, we returned it. Still hard to believe, we returned a freaking couch."
Going Nowhere Fast
"A 2000 VW Beetle (used)."
"Biggest piece of sh*t that literally had to have just about everything replaced before 100k miles and would still break down every time you left the driveway to the point where the tow-truck driver knew us on a first-name basis."
Expensive Lemon
"An Oldsmobile Achieva from one of those buy here pay here places. I should have known better, but I was young and thought I was getting a good deal. I had the thing for about 5 months, I drove it for maybe 3 weeks. The rest of the time it was either in the shop, or in my driveway waiting until pay day so I could afford to fix whatever broke on it this week. Eventually told the dealer just take it, I'm not paying for it any more. He said nope, and I will make sure your credit is ruined. I said well you sold me a lemon, do you really want to go this route? He came and took it. Never reported anything to credit. I heard he got sued by several other people who sold sh**ty cars too and eventually went out of business."
"Always amazes me when I see them driving around still, I can only assume there's enthusiasts who just love repairing horribly designed cars."
– zerbey
These Redditors were not convinced what they ingested was edible.
Bad Cereal
"A box of plain Cheerios. Thought they were honey nut, poured a bowl, was very disappointed."
"If I wanted to taste cardboard, I'd just eat the box."
– gor8884
Space Pizza
"A burnt frozen pizza at the air and space museum cafe in DC. I Don't wish that experience on anyone. There are some amazing restaurants in DC, don't settle."
– Alseids
The following electronics just gave off a bad charge.
"Asus Transformer Pad TF700"
"This was one of those early 'high end' Android tablets that was grossly underpowered, and it showed. Thing was slow as sh!t in no time flat. Rookie mistake investing into shiny new tech while they were still working all the bugs out. Think I paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-400 for it..."
– Luke5119
Bad Apple
"macbook pro 2018 13" touchbar. 2 years old and dead (battery). they're asking $300-$400 to change the battery. malfunctioning keyboard with double presses and missing presses. that's a lot of money for bad design."
Chilly Reception
"Past winter my old room heater broke down and I had to buy a new one. Went to a store nearby and somehow got convinced to buy a very costly heating device.. It's also my fault, since there were some sligthly cheaper options around, but nope. I wanted the expensive one thinking it will make my small room a volcano with little to no effort/cost (that's also what the seller told me). Long story short the device wasn't doing ANYTHING. No significant temperature changes, too much space, a weird noise, and was doubling my previous device in utility cost. I still gloom over those 80 euros.."
Some of my disappointing purchases was clothing, but only because I purchased them online. Unless they are a brand I'm familiar with, I'm usually fine with buying new jeans off of their websites.
But when it comes to graphic tees only available on specialty shops, an M-size shirt is not necessarily the same size as those found in other reputable stores.
I bought a medium sized T-shirt from a boutique store online because I loved the look of the design. But when it arrived, the supposed medium fit me like an XL.
At least I gained a fierce cleaning rag from this impulsive purchase.