Ok, before I get into this article, I have to reference that old Twilight Zone episode where Burgess Meredith is the last man on Earth. No one would let him read, so now he's super stoked because he has “time enough at last" to read every single book. But then....his glasses break.
“It's not fair. There was time now."
Super depressing! Sadly, for four-eyed nerds like myself, everything we do relies on whether or not we have our glasses. Personally, I can't stand contacts, so if I don't have glasses on my face every waking hour, I'm screwed.
Here are a few more people who experience what myself and Burgess Meredith go through on a daily basis.
U/Gabby_Craft asked: Glasses people of Reddit, what is the worst thing that's happened to your glasses?
I think the biggest glasses breakers are children by far. But they break sh*t all the time, so that’s not surprising.
Bye bye glasses.
Don't laugh, but.
Okay, you're going to laugh, and almost 20 years later I can handle it, but I couldn't have handled it for the first year or two.
At a birthday party in middle school I was trying to be festive so I tied balloons to my glasses and they floated away and were gone forever.
I was at the beach and buried my glasses so that I could find them later as hidden treasure. Turns out using palm trees as landmarks is a bad idea, especially if you can't see.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
justin long dodgeball GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyI was in like 5th grade. We were playing dodgeball. I took a shot in the face that sent my glasses flying and we had to pause the game so I could get one of the lenses popped back into the frame. Play resumes. Like two minutes later, boimpf, face shot again from the same kid, who probably needed glasses himself, now that I think about it.
Our gym teacher stopped the whole game and made us go inside and sit down, and the whole class was like "good job, Acrollo," and I'm there with a bloody nose and busted glasses and I'm like "how is it my fault some other dumdum can't get his throws below chest level?"
Nowadays I still wear glasses, and I have two boys under 3, so my glasses are constantly smudged because my kids are adventurous and kinda handsy-in-the-facey when you're down on their level. Seriously considering Lasik at this point.
Dumb indeed.
I was a dumb middle schooler. I'd not been wearing glasses for long, probably only 2 years at that point. I had these super neat glasses that were supposedly "kid-resistant" and they had flexible metal so that you could bend them at the nosepiece and they wouldn't break.
I started showing them off, twisting the glasses around and locking them into themselves, like twisting them as far as they could go. After a certain amount of time that I don't remember because this was about 20 years ago, they'd finally had enough and snapped, right in the middle of the nosepiece.
It was not a fun time when I got home from school that day. My mom was livid.
It isn’t always our fault though. Sometimes we just have really crappy friends/family members/partners.
I hope you replaced the friend too.
I watched them shatter on concrete because of friend of mine wanted to see how bad my eyes were. Instead of accepting NO as a logical response, she yanked them off my face, they went flying, and ended up in a thousand pieces. I’m near sighted and need my glasses to drive. Needless to say, I picked up my car a few days after I got replacements.
At least the fish can see now.
Water Walking GIF by Cezar IliescuGiphyI was out on a boat fishing with my ex Father-in-Law when he flipped his pole to cast out his line and the hook caught my glasses and flipped them 20 feet from the boat into 150 feet of water. The worst part was watching them sink to the bottom of the lake on the damn fish finder screen!
Relatable.
So, this happened to a friend of mine. She wears glasses and had only one pair as she'd broken a pair a week prior to this incident (this will become important later).
So she had brought a guy home and he took her glasses off and put them on the bed just as things were getting hot and heavy. As they laid down, forgetting the glasses were on the bed, they crushed her glasses and got plastic digging into them.
She had no glasses and had to get an emergency prescription for the world's ugliest glasses which basically meant instead of a walk of shame, she wore the glasses of shame.
But most of the time, it just ends up being a freak accident.
Also relatable.
I'm pagan and so I do ceremonies pretty often with candles. During one particular ceremony I took off my glasses and placed them next to the candle to pray not even thinking about it. Once I was done with my prayer (thankfully a short one) I looked on my alter to see my new glasses were on fire and melting plastic all over. It was the part that wrapped around my ear so I could still wear them until I got a new pair next year.
Super glue is no joke.
Stay On 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLCGiphyI used Super Glue to do an on-the-fly repair of a crack in the frame above the lens. I didn't wait long enough before putting my glasses back on because I was already late for an important client meeting. The Super Glue bonded my glasses to my eyebrow. In the process of remedying this humiliating fiasco, I ended up yanking out half my eyebrow and re-breaking the very spendy frame into multiple, irreparable pieces. The client was amused.
This is a true nightmare.
Not my story (though I was there and do wear glasses):
I went on a chartered tour of Japan, and on the flight from Los Angeles to Narita, the guy in the aisle seat decided to take a nap. For whatever reason, he decided the safest place for his glasses was in one of his shoes, tucked safely under the seat in front of him.
Not so safe, as it turns out, because mild turbulence hit, his shoe went into the aisle, and the beverage cart rolled over it. After we landed, most of us went to the hotel but the tour guide had to take him to whatever Japan's version of Lenscrafters is to get a new pair at (he told us over breakfast the next day) astronomical cost.
I have NEVER gone on a trip without a spare pair of glasses since. I just keep them in my suitcase so I can never forget them.
That’s unlucky.
Had them blown off my face by one of those "splash mountain" type rides. But here's the kicker: I wasn't on the ride!
My dad took me and a buddy of mine to a amusement park that was about an hour and a half away. We're there for about 30 minutes before we see the water ride. The was a small bridge that crossed over the ride at the point where it hits the bottom and throws water all over the place. My buddy and me wanted to stand on the bridge and get doused by the water. Ride hits the water and splashes up and soaks us. We start to walk off the bridge, and I realize everything is blurry. The force from the water hitting us has knocked my glasses off! Try searching for half an hour, but can't find them. Had to leave, because I was almost blind (I'm really nearsighted).
I think we got to ride one ride, lost my glasses, then had to leave.
Sometimes it’s just pure, unadulterated violence that causes our glasses to shatter.
That’s a resourceful friend.
Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphyLord, this is for me. Once I was playing with some friends a game called "slo-mo fight". You guessed it, we were pretending to be punching each other but all in slow motion, which was hilarious. My friend pretended to punch me, I turned my head a lil too fast and my glasses fell on the floor.
Since I was blind at that moment, I fumbled around and stepped on them. Broke both branches, and couldn't fix them, so my friend glued a piece of ribbon on each side and for a weekend or something I looked like f*cking cat noir.
That’s a solid pair of glasses.
I was running late getting to school one day, and fell down a flight of stairs. I had a good pair of glasses, so they didn't break, but I did bend one arm to the point that I couldn't wear them. Luckily, I was able to get them bent back into place that day. I had those glasses until my prescription changed a few years ago.
Demolished.
Bent over mowing the lawn to grab a stick. Glasses were in my shirt pocket because I had my prescription sunglasses on instead.
Glasses fell out. Didn't notice until I was done. Bits of glasses all around.
Nice save.
homer simpson episode 13 GIFGiphyI was going over the drop on a rollercoaster and they fell off.
Then I somehow caught them and was so focused on holding on that I forgot to be scared of the ride.
Several years later, the same pair broke.... the lens broke out because I laughed at a joke.
Not a slam dunk.
The glasses I had around 4th grade were marketed as flexible and I told my friend if she bent them they wouldn't break so she tried it and they immediately snapped right in the middle of the bridge.
Also my first time trying basketball in 3rd grade someone missed a layup and when the ball came down it landed right on my eye and the lense popped out.
Personally, there's a reason why I now own four pairs of glasses. Lost my only pair one time and forced to wear dry contacts all day can do that to you. Always have backups!
And if you're the guy from Twilight Zone, it wouldn't hurt to have some large-print books around.
Do you ever use a product and wonder... "Who in the world thought this would work?"
That seems to be an issue with a lot of items in life.
Like, who designed all these extra dinner forks?
It's all too confusing when you just want to eat a salad and a steak.
Let me keep my fork.
You're wasting water on all the cleaning.
Think before you create.
Redditor DongLaiCha wanted to discuss some products that may need more in-field research, so they asked:
"What products are clearly made by people or companies who never actually use them?"
Remember CDs?
It was easier to break into the Pentagon than open that plastic wrapping.
Who thought that idea up?
Too Dry
Hair Bathing GIFGiphy"I swear that people who design some shampoo and conditioner bottles have never tried to use them while wet."
danarexasaurus
Assessments
"Elementary state assessments. They are the most obtuse, poorly written, unrealistic questions on earth. They enrage me. They are clearly written by people who either have zero experience in elementary education or haven’t had any in a decade or so."
meadow_chef
"I have a BA in English and couldn't figure out one of the answers to my child's third-grade ELA state test practice. I spoke to the teacher about it and she sounded so defeated about the testing. There's no way to prepare children for a test when the questions and answers are so poorly written that the students, their teacher, and the parents can't pick the correct answer."
DistractedHouseWitch
Cheap and Expensive
"A few years ago we wanted a coffee maker with a slightly larger carafe. The only 14-cup one we could find at a reasonable price was branded with Drew Barrymore's name. Whatever, we bought it. It was the worst kitchen device I've ever owned. The interface to set the clock, program it, etc. was absolutely baffling to use, never seemed to do the same thing twice."
"The instructions were apparently written by whatever guy at the factory had a cousin who'd seen an American TV show once. And when it actually did somehow make coffee, it came out shriekingly hot, to where I would put a couple of ice cubes into my travel mug when I left for work just to get it down to drinkable temperature."
Fabulous-Quality-282
Flip It
"Those who make the 'pull this flip to open' on plastic packaging of cold cuts."
MissNatdah
"Similarly, the people who make 'resealable' packages of food products where you have to cut it open in a certain place, but cutting there either results in: A) the package still being sealed closed, or B) ruining the internal sealing zipper. I have this issue with the frozen dumplings I buy and no matter what I do, I have NEVER been able to reseal the package as advertised and have to resort to a chip clip."
pls_send_caffeine
Punch a Hole
Mac And Cheese Eating GIF by Megan BatoonGiphy"The 'push here to open' spot on Kraft Mac and Cheese."
coop_doop
"Whenever I get a different brand I just punch a hole in the same spot out of habit. It’s about exactly as hard to do as with the Kraft ones. So they might as well take out the perforating step and save .001¢/box in the production process."
Reaper_Messiah
Why do they want to keep our Mac and Cheese from us?
Give me my meal!!
Tearing Sheets
office paper GIFGiphy"Those toilet paper holders in public toilets that cut off at two sheets."
theshortlady
"Same area: those paper towel dispensers that require a two-handed pull, commonly leaving you with two little torn-off triangles of paper in your hands."
repowers
Useless
"Zebra printers. I swear Zebra customer service is useless. I've had to call the help desks for the specific companies I've worked for because the Zebra CS is just like 'Huh!?'"
monotoonz
"We wrote our own internal manuals for how to setup, manage, and troubleshoot Zebra printers. It includes helpful information like 'Do not call Zebra about this issue, instead, see Appendix A' (which is screenshots of conversations about how it is is a known issue and the resolution should be coming shortly (dated 2016))."
001235
City Life
"Maybe a bit off-topic, but in a meeting with a former colleague of mine, the person in charge of the metro for a nearby city admitted that he had never used the metro. Not that he didn’t use the metro, but that he had never used it in his life, even once. I suspect that this kind of thing isn’t uncommon for government services."
KireGoTI
"Similar story. A lifelong friend of didn’t even know we had a Metro until a recent expansion meant she had to drive a different way into her office. She works for the city council."
TheKingMonkey
Warn You
"Hospital beds. From the standpoint of the person who has to push it around and mess with rails that get caught in the mattress and plug it in with a long dirty cord that gets mixed up with another random cord that no one knows its purpose. No retractable cords so they constantly drag on the ground and try to trip you when pushing the bed."
"Brakes that are in the most awkward position that you have to invert your knee to reach with your foot. And worst, the screeching, ear-piercing alarm that they emit to 'warn you' that the bed is not locked. Hospital beds are obnoxious."
Agitated-Effort3423
Help Please
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphy"Customer-facing software. Developers should be required to hire grandmas under the explicit condition that if grandma can't look at a menu option and decide what to click without giving up and calling the help desk your functionality has failed."
Puzzleheaded-Bat8657
I can't even begin to get into software options.
It brings back too much PTSD.
