Children need to be disciplined but not abused.
When I was a kid, I had my fair share of enduring a variety of punishments.
Being grounded and missing out on an allowance were frequent penalties, while being spanked with a belt was saved for the worst of my rotten behaviors.
When Redditor Thefishman1 asked "What is the worst punishment you received as a kid?," strangers on the internet shared their most traumatizing memories they would soon like to forget.
Some of the responses will leave you convinced that the punishment definitely did not fit the crime.
Intense Spanking
"Got a citation at school for yelling at a bully in middle school. It was a fake one from a cop to scare me."
"Parents took it well and told me to straighten up and to not let people get to me. Dad didn't really seem to mind."
"Few days later I was playing outside with my cousins, dad comes out high on Xanax and goes 'oh yea, that goddam citation come here.'"
"He gets very very very angry and abusive ok Xanax and he would pop several."
"I'm confused because I thought everything was okay, I thought it was over."
"Drags me up stairs makes me pull my pants down. I couldn't sit down without it hurting for a week. Told my mom I was gonna tell someone at school but she said not to. He never touched me again after that but I'll never forget it."
"He also used to destroy everything in the house when he got high. Like literally destroy. Throw TVs out in the yard , knock over sh*t. Mess with my mom. Break sh*t."
Abusive Mother
"One time when I was around 8, my mom said she would help me with my math homework. I don't remember in detail what it was about, but I remember that it was oh so easy for mom, and I just didn't get it. With every 'huh?' from me she got more and more mad, and finally she threw everything to the ground, jumped up, dragged me from my chair, all the while hitting and slapping me. I tried to cover my head and walked backwards until I reached an armchair, she threw me in it and continued her blows until she got tired, then left me there. I hid in my room for a few hours, she started to vacuum outside. That year, we had planned to go to Disneyland Paris for the summer holidays, so I made a little eiffel tower out of legos as a 'make up gift' for making her mad, brought it outside and placed it on the ground. One standard behavior when she was mad was to pretend I didn't exist, so my eiffel tower didn't exist too and she hit it multiple times with the vacuum, shattering it all over the place, sending me in a hurry to clean 'my' mess up to not make her mad again."
No More Electronic Devices
"Senior year, high school. Long story short, I had learning disabilities and due to things changing in the district, those programs us disabled used were very suddenly axed and threw us out into normal classes. Where the teachers couldn't bother to give a quarter of a f'k about us and pretty much all of us started failing, badly."
"My mom, however, saw this as more of a my fault thing, that it was my fault I wasn't adapting. This was right after she met someone new and that someone new was VERY hardline in his parenting and that rubbed off on my mom."
"So as my grades fell, I lost everything dear to me. My laptop, my iPod, my old CD player (that I kept around even when I moved to an iPod), my cell phone. I cobbled together another computer from old 90s parts just so I could manage to still complete essays. That got taken too. My grades plummeted further. I was just managing to barely pass my classes, now I was actually failing them."
"Boom, now my parent(s) took my door away, no more privacy. They also 'took away' my rides to school, as punishment I had to walk to school (which involved me waking up at 5am so I barely slept as I had to stay up until midnight just to keep my head barely above water with the massive amounts of homework I got and no computer to help me get it done faster)."
"When I failed some classes, that resulted in my electives being taken away, so now school was all academic, all the time. No fun allowed, AT ALL."
"I still don't know how I managed to pass and graduate, but it was the most hollow f'king victory I ever got. The constant punishment I took that year wasn't worth it."
"EDIT: for those wondering, I did eventually put this all behind me and I'm fine with my mom now. Her boyfriend had a near death experience and in that moment he regretted all the sh*t he put me through. Some say I'm too easy, but in my eyes it's more energy to hold a grudge than it is to just accept it and move past it, learning from experiences."
– We1tfunk
The Yelling
"It might sound silly, but getting yelled at by my dad. Hes got a short temper and sometimes I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. Even hearing him yell at my siblings sent me into shakes and tears."
"EDIT: Thanks for all the nice comments and support, and hugs to all of you dealing with similar things. Happily I'm living with good friends and I've cut off contact with my dad, so I'm doing okay."
– mx_tae
Tied To A Chair
"I have no memories from my childhood except for this one. I must have been 8 or 9 but one time, i stayed 15 min in class to help the teacher clean the brushes and tables from the art class. My mom was very particular about not letting us play outside, each day after school we just couldn't be late. As I was helping the teacher in school and not playing with other kids i thought she wouldn't mind but i was sooooo wrong."
"when i came back, the entry of the building was occupied by some drunks so i decided to enter by the north entry to avoid them (i was terrified to even look at them). i ran past some other girls playing and arrived home to find my sister concerned about me 'where were you??? mom is going to kill you!' 'But i'm only 20 min late.'"
"here comes my mom, veins popping out of her face, she starts to yell at me, letting me know that the girls playing told her i was running the other way around from the building and then she tied me. to a chair."
"The rest was kind of blurry but i remember she put harrissa in my mouth (it's a very spicy sauce), she hit me on the stomach and left me alone in her bedroom for until dinner (so about 6 hours)."
"yay"
Consequences Of Wearing A Favorite Shirt
"When I was 4 years old I was supposed to change into a nicer shirt because we were going to my grandma's on Mother's Day. I refused to change because it was my favorite shirt and my mom lost it and stripped me buck naked."
"She dragged me into the car like that with my siblings laughing at me. When we got to my grandma's house she paraded me out in front of the neighbors and I was so hysterical by the time we got inside that I wet myself all over my grandma's carpet. I got yelled at even more."
"It's a really awful memory that sticks with me even now."
The Quarter
"My parents weren't particularly punishing, in fact my dad has frequently lamented their decision to not spank us. The one really d*ckish punishment they used was to make us stand in front of the wall while my dad pulled a quarter out of his pocket. He placed it against the wall and we would have to hold it in place with our noses for a set time. If it fell, he'd replace the coin with a smaller one and start the time over again."
The Shovel
"I refused to clean my room so my mom got out a shovel and anything that was on the floor was shoveled into a big black garbage bag and thrown away."
Taste Of Soap
"Physically having my mouth washed out with soap for blurting out the F word. I don't think I had even started school yet, (uk), so who knows if I really knew what I was saying."
"I can still taste the soap now 🤢"
Scared Of Dad
"One evening, I went to my friend's house (which was directly opposite to mine) to play. Both of us ended up watching a movie and only when it ended did I realize that it was 15 minutes past my 'curfew time.'"
"My father was already waiting for me at the door when I left my friend's house. When we entered my house, he caught hold of me and smacked me across my face. The impact was strong enough to send me flying back against the wall. He grabbed me and slapped me again. By the time he was done, I had already pissed my pants twice (I was six)."
"I was always afraid of him after that."
Food
"Forced to eat food I absolutely despised until I vomit. My mother never believed I hated certain food and they make me absolutely ill."
"From the age of 8 till I was 12. Then when I started cooking because she was working, I made sure twice a week to make things she hated just to force her to make her own meals."
Belts And Spoons
"My parents were fond of physical abuse, dad preferred belts, mom liked wooden spoons. The stuff that really got to me though was the verbal and psychological stuff. Worst was taking the door to my room. I suddenly didn't have even a trace of safety at home anymore. I still have nightmares about it."
– KirinG
Stove Burns
"Ye old hand on stove was my nightmare, still got rings on my hands from the scars. It's pretty common, I've met lots of people with the same burns."
Combat Boots
"I wouldn't salute so I was punched in the sternum and while laying on the ground trying to catch my breath I was kicked with combat boots until I was coughing up blood."
"Dont ask why this happened. I dont remember. I do remember realizing that this was probably not normal."
Let's talk about toxic femininity, shall we? VysX_ asked:
There's toxic masculinity but what are examples of toxic femininity?
For some reason, toxic femininity gets really, REALLY prevalent when they become moms. It’s weird and kinda creepy, if you ask me.
Why does Little League bring out the worst in people?
“Mothers who treat other people like crap and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear."
“A few years ago my son's team was playing a little league game against another team. We had a very good team that year and the other team was really struggling. Despite this, it was a close game going into the 5th (i.e. next-to-last) inning.
Well, we're batting and the wheels finally come off for the opposition. A kid on our team gets a simple hit to the outfield and the other team proceeds to go full tee-ball and throw it all over creation. What should have been a single turns into a 3-run HR.
As the batter crosses home plate, fans are going nuts, players are going nuts, everyone is going nuts, and the star player on the losing team just melts down. He picks up the ball and throws it as hard as he can right at our dug out. There's a safety fence of course, so no one gets hurt, but it was still very much an "Oh, snap" moment for everyone.
At this point, the ump turns to the losing coach and says, "Coach, you need to get a hold of your player." That's it. That's all he said. He didn't say anything to the player; he didn't kick him out of the game; he just gave the coach a direct warning.
Next thing I hear is "DONT YOU TALK TO MY BABY THAT WAY" as the dug-out mom comes firing out of the other dug-out, heading straight for the ump. Fortunately for everyone, the head coach comes out of nowhere to intercept her. He proceeds to restrain her and walk her (and the player) away. The whole game stops for ~5 minutes while those three basically have a group hug in the middle of the infield.
Fortunately, that was the end of the drama. I still give major props to that other coach for somehow diffusing that situation without getting the police involved. But I will never understand what was going through that lady's mind."
We can all do “womaning” differently.
Wendy Conrad GIF by Your Happy WorkplaceGiphy“To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.
This becomes really toxic after childbirth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.
Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.
I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.
That being said, I don't know how we did it, but I found the world's greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever-loving hell out of each other. This was in Phoenix late 90's and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em."
They should know better than to tear down other women.
“It's very common for mothers or female relatives to be some of the first ones to comment on a woman's weight, appearance, or personal style/fashion choices, as well as reinforcing a sense of self-hatred (i.e. "I look so fat in this outfit, and you look so ugly in that color"), all while tearing other women down ("I can't believe she's wearing that, doesn't she know how she looks??").
When you have that reinforcement that it's normal to say things like that, because if your mom does it then it's okay to do it too, then you just treat it as normal. And because it's so common, you find other women to do it with and it just becomes a cycle. If you try to break it, then you're labeled as sensitive, a bore, and "Oh my god we're just having fun, chill out, it's not that serious."
I still remember the first time I called my mom on talking sh*t about a woman wearing something she didn't like, and she got so f*cking mad at me."
Let’s dive into the tearing down other women thing some more. We as a society need a wake-up call.
It’s like high school all over again.
"Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!"
“When I first got out of grad school, my first (and as it turns out, only) teaching job was long-term substituting for a friend while she went on maternity leave. The kids/classroom were mine for the first half of the school year, but we coordinated so that things would be pretty smooth transitioning back to my friend teaching at the end of her leave.
My friend was part of a two-teacher team who ran the 8th grade Student Council. I told the other teacher that I would be happy to help her with the club in my friend's absence, but she insisted she didn't need my help. She then proceeded to 100% ignore me and treat me as if I was invisible during all future interactions. 8th-grade team meetings, if I said even a single word, she shot me side eye, even though what I had said was not at all related to her; just a kind of "you're not a real teacher, how dare you speak?" vibe she was giving off.
My last day, my friend came in after school to put her classroom stuff up as I took my own down. The other teacher and two other women (the PE coach who I'd never talked to and another teacher, I don't remember) came in to help her, but none of the three of them offered to help me take any of my own things down or pack any of it up. They also said things like, "Is this yours or hers?" to my friend, even though I was standing right f*cking there. They also gushed about how excited they were that she was back; again, right in front of me.
After I was finally done putting away all my things--again, by myself--I just left without a word. I texted my friend about it later, and she apologized for her other friends' behavior but just excused it as, "Yeah, they're definitely the 'Mean Girls' types".
I was just floored. These were TEACHERS. You know, the people who are supposed to teach children NOT to bully other people? And I had never been anything but nice to everyone I met during my time there, but they didn't care. I wasn't part of their group, so I wasn't worth their time.
It became one of a laundry list of reasons I decided I didn't actually want to be a teacher for a living, after all.
tl;dr - personally experienced cliquey adult women in the education field, of all places. It sucked.”
How possessive.
“My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices."
“No joke, I had a professor I was close with because we were both single moms and she gave me the advice to wear a wedding band even without a man and that the other moms would chill out a bit. It worked and my daughter started getting more opportunities for playdates. It's really demoralizing."
I think we all need to learn how to be more forgiving.
Toxic office culture is the literal worst.
come together love and hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy“The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture."
“Did they also have a compulsive, competitive need to please the male figures in the department? I go weekly to a fairly small medical department where the head doctor is male and the majority of nurses and admin are female. They treat him like an absolute God and defer to him with everything. He's a huge d*ck and of course, has a big ego by now."
This girl isn't just toxic--she's a monster.
“A girl in the grade below me (I'm a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time and she asked, "Why do so many people care about her dying? It's not like she was pretty anyways."
This was the type of girl that says, "What??!! I am SOOO nice."
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO of that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can't figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well, honey, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Edit: Some of you have said that I should tell her and I did. Apparently, she would "literally never say that about her" and also apparently "I know nothing about her." (My ex. Dated for 4 years. Know nothing)"
This is how eating disorders start.
“Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I'd be if I lost weight, how that's why most guys weren't into me, how I'd regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn't overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That's really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I've only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers.”
As a woman myself, I’ve encountered plenty of toxic femininity in my life. It’s almost as terrible as the objectifying sh*t I hear men saying about women all the time. We have to be rid of cattiness and tearing other women down.
Remember what we actually need to be working against. So much sexism exists in the world, and we have to stick together.