In February of last year, there was a story that broke about a predominantly black school taking their students to a plantation to pick cotton as part of a field trip.
Unsurprisingly this did not go over well.
One Reddit user asked:
and hey guess what? This wasn't even the worst "bad" field trip! This was racist and gross, but nobody died. That can't be said for some of these responses.
We don't know who is in charge of field trip planning, but please stop doing crap like this.
We went to a beach where horseshoe crabs mate. Hundreds and hundreds of horseshoe crabs, latched onto one another and jizzing in the 95 degree heat.
The smell was unimaginable. I remember scraping salt/dried foam off of my shoes on the bus ride home and realizing what it actually was
Google "Delaware Bay horseshoe crab spawn" for pictures.
Tourism Classwhite water GIF Giphy
Worst field trip was a trip we took for tourism class. We planned to do a high wire rope course, abseiling and white water rafting.
We went white water rafting first, and the rest of the trip was cancelled after a girl drowned, several of us nearly drowned, part of the class got swept away down stream and had to be rescued while the rest of us had to pull our dead classmate out of the river and then continue down the river to the get out point, all the while suffering hypothermia due to being out there for hours trying to get our classmates body out while in soaking wet wet suits. The rest of the day was spent smoking while trying to get warm and waiting to be interviewed by the cops.
Second worst was 6 months later when our traumatized class was forced on to high speed jet boats in extremely low water levels, when none of us felt comfortable going anywhere near a boat yet. Tutors told us to suck it up, get on the boat, or we'd fail the year.
I was 18 at the time of the accident, but turned 19 that same year, and the oldest student was in his 40's. A lot of us actually didn't last the year, we dropped out. I did ask if there was any chance I could defer the rest of the year and come back to finish it the following year, but was told I'd have to pay for the full year again to complete it, so I ended up walking away from it, which promptly ended my career in tourism, but mentally I just couldn't cope.
I'd lost two other people in my life in the two days following the drowning, and my dog was put down a month or so later (I'd had her since I was 4, and I'd just turned 19) so my mental health was just non-existent. I took the following week off after it, but only because I got an exemption, everyone else had to return on the Monday, the accident happened the prior Thursday, and apparently after 1 day off talking about it they were all expected to return to normal by Tuesday.
I do kind of regret not completing the year, because it was my third and final year, but financially I couldn't afford to defer it, and mentally I couldn't keep up with the course load after everything that had happened. Save to say it wasn't the best environment to stay in, it's not that the tutors weren't nice, or that it was a toxic environment, but clearly they didn't know how to deal with that kind of trauma, let alone help their students through as best as they could.
Museum Of Work
To the museum of work. Yeah, take the 8 year old children and show them the magical and interesting world of the 8 hour workday. Brilliant idea!
If it is work 8 years old are interested in like firefighters, pilots or nurses I think it is a good idea for a field trip. But probabbly it was an exhibit of office supplies.
That would have been cool! We actually visited the firestation once and it was a blast! But this museum was about the textile industry. We went around for 3 hours and looked a 150 year old sewing machines and yarn spindles. It was so boring we all lost the will to live at age 8!
We went to the museum (if I recall correctly it was a Bodies exhibit, where they have actual human cadavers) and I remember two kids in my class fighting and knocking down a fetus jar. It didn't break but our teacher was so pissed she just ended our tour and argued with us all the way back to school.
Slaughter house to "see how hot dogs are made". Elementary school, early 60's, Rapid City, South Dakota. Black Hills Packing was the company. No longer there. Condos or apartments there now. If cows and pigs had ghosts that place would be haunted AF.
Thing that struck me was the bolt to the head. Always assumed they used a gun to kill the animal. First time I saw No Country For Old Men I knew right away what that device was.
My sister watched her friend suffocate and die in a pile of salt on a school trip to the salt processing plant. They let the kids climb on the mountains of salt and she hit a hollow spot and just fell in. Salt closed over her and they couldn't pull her out in time.
"How was the field trip!?"
"My friend died."
I think they were in 5th grade? I think about that poor girl a lot.
Well, I Googled it and found this article...
Russell and several other students were climbing on a 30-foot salt mound when a conveyor belt activated and apparently opened up an air pocket under the mound.
They let kids play on a salt mound while it was being processed? WTF? I hope those parents sued the hell out of the salt company.
Moon Moonblack and white moon GIF Giphy
We visited a rainforest at night. It was actually really cool, but I had recently lost weight due to a bad case of pneumonia, so my pants were loose.
I bent over to pick up my backpack and accidentally flashed everyone in the middle of a forest under a full moon. Someone pointed out my round, pale ass perfectly matched the moon and I was called Moon Moon for the rest of the year.
We went to a funeral home in elementary school. One kid passed out as the nice old creepy AF guy explained the embalming process as we all stood around the embalming table. I think it was the line "...and the blood runs down these gutters on the sides of the table" that put the kid over the edge.
I went to a catholic school run by nuns. One of those crazy old penguins came up with the idea.
My class did a funeral home trip too! The guy giving us the tour told us how he broke the door frame when he first started because the body moved and he couldn't get the f out fast enough.
And a guy I tangentially knew had recently died in a car wreck so I wondered if he'd been embalmed on that table.
The Worst Pep Rally
In middle school we went to Colonial Williamsburg and the tour guide asked us questions like "who did all the work?" "Who was out in the fields?"
And had us chant "slaves!" Like it was some sort of pep rally. Very odd
I was at the civil rights museum in Memphis and a class had just started their tour in the lobby. The tour guide said "What's special about this museum built into a hotel?" And some of the kids were like "Martin Luther King was shot here!! :D" they sounded so excited lol
In eighth grade we went to this living history museum where everything was an American town in the 1800s. We literally had to pretend to be slaves escaping on the Underground Railroad while a "crazy guy" chased us with a rifle shooting blanks and were saved by an "old white quaker couple." My school was almost entirely white (maybe 30 poc, 10 of which were maybe bipoc, out of 300 in the class). I guess not a single person thought how poor taste this actually was...
We all look back at it now like wtf
Ending Your Career Before It Begins
Army academy. I wanted to be a soldier, had a solid career path wherein I was going to Nursing school first and then become an Army medic. Plus side is if you enlist with a degree you immediately become a ranked officer. So yeah, get in, learn all about it, then they tell me I was too short to enlist. I stopped growing at 4'11", and minimum height requirement was 5'2" then.
I cried on the way home.
Whomp Whompjimmy fallon no GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy
Trip to a fort. We had a look from the bus since they wouldn't allow us in and went back to school.
Had the opportunity to do an overnight stay at a zoo once as a class trip, which included seeing all the animals after hours, feeding times, and getting to go into some of the enclosures to feed certain animals. Unfortunately only two of us voted for that option, everyone else voted to go see Jurassic Park 2 at the movies.
I'm still bummed about not going to the zoo 25 years later.
We went to the canoe museum. You know what is NOT fascinating? Canoes.
I enjoy our canoe museum (granted I first went as an adult) just because I liked the history of the country that they presented, canoes themselves I could give two hoots about. (lol sorry, as I was thinking of what I write that came up and made me laugh).
We went to a community college. That was pretty fun, but it was a girls only field trip, so the poor boys were stuck listening to speeches about becoming a man.
Now listen here boys you don't need no fancy pants education what y'all need is to be MANLY.
My girl scout troupe went to the police station. It wasn't initially terrible, but they locked us in a cell and took pictures while the cell next to us actually had a lady that was arrested earlier. We heard a lot of curse words that day, I have a faint memory of her peeing herself as well.
I'm Gonna Blow....
We went to the fire station in first grade. We were getting back on the bus and as I was going up the steps to board the bus, the kid in front of me turned around and vomited all over me. My hair, my face, the front of my shirt, my shoes: covered in vomit. Had to spend the rest of the day at school and the walk home in vomit hair and clothes.
A "Normal" Day
Can tell you the worst field trip that I didn't go on. In 5th grade we were supposed to go see some circus thing. It was September 11, 2001.
I was actually on a field trip that day when one of my teachers got a call on her cell phone, which stuck out in my head because cell phones were so rare at the time. I remember her being upset and talking to some other teachers in hushed voices, but the field trip continued as normal.
My school had the bright idea to do a camping trip in November in Canada. Everyone spent the whole time in their tent trying to stay warm.
To the Pink Palace
I went to Memphis for an overnight trip in 5th grade. I caught a fever the night we got there and was deathly ill the entirety of the next day. I remember going to the Pink Palace and sitting on every single bench with my friends, waiting for everyone else to get through the exhibit. After that we went to a stop on the Underground Railroad where I almost certainly got my first migraine. Finally, on the bus home, I vomited all over one of the chaperones and the bus floor.
Six flags. All everyone wanted to do was shop and didn't want to ride any rides, so I rode them all by myself and nobody even realized I was gone. Just get there early, go on rides, eat, then maybe have a look around the shops before hopping on the rides again.
But don't spend all day shopping ffs. Everyone I've ever gone with has done that crap, so I just started going by myself. Thing is, it sucks doing things like that by yourself.
When I was 10 we went to a Bunnings Warehouse. To this day I don't know why they decided to bring school kids to a hardware store.
Schools take young kids to stores and I don't get it. Like why the he'll would you want to drive all the way out to a Petsmart for a field trip?
BRAVO!Phillipa Soo Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American Musical Giphy
In sixth grade our entire middle school went to a high school play. It was so boring that one of our teachers fell asleep.
In 7th grade we went to see a nunnery. It was 3 hours of only praying and 20 minutes explaining why the nunnery existed. Most boring day of my life.
"If you're happy and you know it it's a sin!"
No Love Boattitanic night GIF Giphy
Was supposed to be on luxury cruise around the harbor. The captain of the vessel never showed.
Into the Storm
In the first grade we went to the harbor and were supposed to learn about boats I think? The weekend before the trip a whole HURRICANE came through and destroyed the entire boardwalk. We still went. The outer edge of the hurricane was still scudding over, everything was muddy and destroyed. Then we went to a museum about duck decoys. Which are cool examples of folk art and all, but they did absolutely nothing for a seven year old.
I'd also like to nominate my being left behind in a darkened room of the Natural History Museum in DC. I think it was a dinosaur display? It was so, so terrifying. The second time I was left behind (Air and Space Museum) I was just like "ah crap, here we go again."
In elementary school, we took a field trip to prison. I don't remember much, but it was very boring and we did a lot of walking. I do for whatever reason, remember my teacher saying "it always breaks my heart whenever I see one of my previous students here". I also remember some kids were actually scared to even be there. Not sure who thought it was a good idea but I'd rate it a 3/10.
Last year, my 8 year old cousin and his class went to a human rights museum with a big Holocaust section and it traumatized the f**k out of him. His parents had to reassure him that he wasn't going to be murdered for being Jewish for a month or two after.
Left BehindSee U GIF by swerk Giphy
When I was in 6th grade, we made a trip to a hospital, on bicycles. Mine got a problem and I got left behind. One of the worst memories of my childhood.
Rice farm. We had to help with transplanting the rice seedlings. Part of community service and volunteer initiative.
It started raining. A crab bit my little toe. Fell into the mud. The lunch college provided was dry. Got a cold.
But it was still pretty interesting. Especially the mud fight.
Freshman year of high school, a number of us toured ASU (Arizona State University). A bunch of us got lost due to highly conflicting information, which ended up involving Tempe Police, a bunch of parents, and a teacher being suspended (he resigned a few days later).
Scrambled Tripeggs GIF Giphy
An egg processing plant in first grade. It was just watching eggs go down a conveyer belt through a factory. Yawn.
Trip to the Zoo.... I've never been to the Zoo before and I've always wanted to go and see a lion. I was so excited. We get there and they said the lion was sick or some crap and I said can I go to the back and see him for just a second. Please, I've never seen one and my teacher said no. Kids who I thought were my friends were laughing at me and one of them said get a book and look at one. Smh.
A sewage treatment plant. We got to see how our own toilet water became clean enough to send to the ocean.
All I remember from ours is they showed what they called a "mudball monster", collection of iron & dirt deposits from a clogged drain that had developed to look like a sea urchin that looked like its 'tentacles' were moving when it floated in the jar.
Domino's Next?Winning Pizza Hut GIF by SportsManias Giphy
Walked to Pizza Hut and crushed it as a part time student Chef.
We drove 2 and a half hours to a theme park, only for it to be evacuated 10 minutes after we got there due to a bomb threat.
When I student taught, one of the science teachers took her class on an impromptu field trip to the grocery store. Somehow the class started discussing diet coke and mentos. So the teacher decided what the hell, they're going to walk a block to the grocery store to pick up supplies for said experiment.
Through the Island
School trip to Ellis island before it was restored in the 90s. It was the middle of winter we were so cold kids were crying. The holes in ceilings and walls had freezing rain pouring through them. Utter misery.
When I relayed the story to a very old neighbor who actually went through Ellis island, in winter, as a child she said she had the same experience as I had... even leaky holes in the ceiling, except for her it was, "the best day of my life."
Probably the Coca-Cola factory in Elizabethtown, KY. I think they had a museum too. Got some free coke at least.
All but Me
Barf boat. Our seventh and eighth grade classes went whale watching. As soon as the boat pulled away from the dock kids started barfing from motion sickness. Three hours and Everyone got sick except me. There was vomit everywhere.
Overnight hike/camping trip, divided into four groups for some reason. I was in the last group.
I got hypothermia because my group got lost and it was raining, and while everyone was soaked apparently my body decided it should die first.
We didn't go to the hospital, or even a doctor- no nurse visit when we went back to school the next day either. slept in a van with no food, didn't have breakfast because mom sent me with no money for it, and I was blamed for why the school wouldn't let outside overnights happen again for a few years.
I Had to GO!
I went to a pioneer village type place in third grade. I ended up peeing my pants because I couldn't find a bathroom in time. It turned out okay because my much older friend (who was in the class with me) pretended that he peed HIS pants too just to make me feel less alone.
Then some old lady made a joke I didn't understand and we left.
Not a great day.
HEAD STRIKE!!!bowling fail GIF Giphy
In 1st grade the school decided to take us to our local bowling alley. One kid was laying down on the ground and got hit with a bowling ball straight to the head. He was sent to the hospital and the field trip was cancelled. He became my best friend in 3rd grade and we've been best friends ever since. We both just graduated high school this year.
When we graduated my entire class was supposed to go to Disneyland on 4 busses.
Half way there, one of the busses breaks down. They did not account for the possibility of needing extra seats.
I spent a good 8 hours sitting criss cross on a bus floor, with about 30 other kids also crammed onto the floor. People were triple seated, it was screwed.
The field trip was fine but what happened afterward was one of the worst things to happen in hindsight. I was 10 years old when this took place. Went to a fort in elementary school, and I had just transferred to a new school. There were lots of schools there that day, and I happened to see my old friends. Broke away from my group to be with them instead. At the end of the day I ended up getting on their bus without thinking, and my old school at the end of the day would drop kids off to an after school center first then take the others home.
Now I don't know why attendance wasn't taken or anything, but I got off with my best friend at a YMCA type place. They took account for the children there, and asked me why I was there because I was not on their roster. I said I was with my friend and they then asked if my parents knew, and I answered no. Well turns out that an hour later a missing child report would go up on the local news channel with my photo.
The staff at the center immediately called the police to tell them where I was. I was picked up by police and taken back to my school. Where my parents were going crazy at the fact that my teacher had lost me and didn't realize it until my babysitter who normally picked me up had asked where I was. Not comprehending the gravity of the situation at the time, I didn't know what the big deal was. Now though, I realize how bad it was. I got into hella trouble with both my parents and the school. And I wasn't allowed to go on any other field trips for the rest of the school year.
Went to a play for 6-10 year olds when we were 15/16.
Teachers saw their mistake after though and we all got ice cream and some time to walk around the Christmas market in little groups.
Arrrrrjohnny depp ew GIF Giphy
I remember going to The Queen Mary in Long Beach in 4th or 5th grade and volunteering to bite into an onion when no one else would when the "pirates" were telling us about scurvy.
I go to an alternative high school, and every month or so, we go on "Leaving to Learns". One time, my class went to a local robotics place. It was pretty decent, but the employee that was giving the tour looked down at my stomach right as she said "large". Later that same day, I volunteered to help rake an elderly couple's yard with some classmates from another grade. Before we raked the yard however, the couple treated us to lunch (warmed-up canned chili and hot dogs). Guess who got a way bigger bowl of chili than everyone else? The universe was telling me to lose some damn weight that day. Anyways, the elderly couple were really nice, but very "country" and very religious. Before we ate, we had to do a prayer circle. While we were eating, they were playing a harmonica cover of "Amazing Grace". When we were done, they gave us each "letters from God". I never thought I'd see my fellow foul-mouthed, weed and vape smoking classmates in a freaking prayer circle, it was hilarious.
I'm a teacher in the US. Chaperoned a school trip to Canada. We got to the border and realized one of the girls didn't have her passport.
Definitely the worst field trip experience I've had!
As an aside, as a teacher, I can't believe some of the trips in this thread even got approved!!
I Need AirNervous Ted Striker GIF by filmeditor Giphy
To a not air conditioned community center gyms basketball court to celebrate being in the middle of middle school. Some of the longest 3 hours ever.
If you're looking to support Black-owned businesses in light of BLM protests and Covid-19, then this is a great resource for you: https://www.websiteplanet.com/blog/support-black-owned-businesses/
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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