We have all experienced varying levels of fear in our lives and survived to talk about them.
When I was in college, I was at a Tower Records store perusing the show tunes section looking for CDs.
All of a sudden I heard something that sounded like someone set off fireworks inside the store. I looked over and witnessed a robbery happening in front of my eyes – with a masked gunman pointing a gun at the cashier and ordering her to empty the cash drawer.
The sound we all heard were the warning shots he fired into the ceiling.
Everyone hit the floor, including myself, and I did my best to hide from view.
Fortunately, the thief got what he wanted and ran out the store and nobody was hurt.
I still count my blessings I survived what could have been a tragedy. It didn't stop me later from continuing to see what was in the show tunes section.
Wondering about near-traumatic experiences people have experienced, K4gl asked strangers on askReddit:
"[Serious] People of Reddit what is scariest thing that happened to you that was not paranormal?"
Almost Kidnapped
"I (F[emale]) was travelling in Egypt with two male friends, all of us 17/18 at the time (1989). We were walking down the street in Alexandria and two men got out of a black car, grabbed me and threw me inside. My friends jumped onto the car and held on while it tried to drive away, then other people started crowding around it and shouting, so they opened the door and shoved me back out and just drove away."
Dog Attack
"I was badly bitten by a dog when I was 10. I lost a lot of blood."
"But I was under my grandmother supervision, and that poor lady panic at the slightest bit of something being maybe not okay. I mean I saw her panick for a bee looking like it might enter the house. Or Because she had heard someone brake hard down the street."
"So when she saw me with half of my upper lip falling-off, and blood everywhere, she screamed and screamed, and screamed, and panicked."
"So, I panicked even more as well, not really because she panicked, I already knew that my grandmother reactions weren't really telling of the situation's gravity, but because I thought I was f'ked because there was no one to help and care for me, now."
"This was the scariest part of it all actually. I mean the bite, and the blood were scary. But thinking that I was on my own with a severe injury, with no idea of what to do, and unable to communicate was downright frightening."
"However, our screams alerted my neighbor who was a very calm man, and kept his head and took care of me, until EMT came in. (I've been told that he did have a panic attack afterward, the poor man)."
– Marawal
Gunpoint
"I got robbed at gunpoint when I was 17. A ghost would have been much nicer."
Exploding Pimple
"I woke up feeling sticky and gross. I thought to myself 'gross, did I drool all over myself while sleeping?' So I go to the bathroom to wash up and look in the mirror. I'm covered from my lower lip to upper chest in blood! I head out of the bathroom toward the kitchen and tell my mother to call a doctor, she nearly faints upon seeing me but I tell her i'm ok and ima wash up."
"I clean myself up and after washing most of it away I see the wound dead center on my neck where a pimple was. It is doing the thing you see in movies where blood squirts out with each heartbeat. A bandaid does the trick for now and they cauterize my neck as a longer solution."
"What I had thought was a pimple was in fact a blood vessel that decided to make a Y branch except the new branch was straight out my neck. A simple surgery fixed it but damn was that scary."
Crying Blood
"Yooo this happened under my eye when I was like 8. Not quite as dramatic or life threatening as yours, but I had a small red dot get slowly bigger under my eye. Went to the doctor and he said it was a blood vessel trying to escape, and would have to be removed. We made an appointment for it to be lasered off (turns out it was too close to my eye for lasers anyway), but before that could happen it just sort of burst one day and it looked like I was crying blood. Pretty traumatising for an 8 yr old. Went to hospital and after they stopped the bleeding, and then they numbed my face and froze it off. I have another one on my ear, but it's been there for years and not caused an issue. Scratched it a few times accidentally and it's not bled, so I'll just let it be."
Rolling SUV
"Dozing off for a split second while driving which led to a panicked overreaction to my tires moving into the gravel on the shoulder of the roadway. My overreaction jerked the SUV back onto the roadway so fast that it turned a 40+ degree angle and then flipped 4.5 times, rolling down the interstate about a quarter of a mile. I was conscious through it all, including the 2 'bounces' of my head against the asphalt. Vehicle came to rest in the ditch and I climbed out in a panic over what just happened."
Footsteps
"When I was in college, I had gone to a classmate's apartment for a group study session. The area was crowded with cars parked along the curve. Took me awhile to find parking and it was about two blocks away. By the time I left to go home, it was around 1am. As I was walking back to my car, I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back and saw someone in a big coat and wearing a hat. It was dark, so I couldn't see their face. I got a little creeped out, so I quickened my pace. Again, I heard their pace quicken as well. I began to feel scared, but I didn't want to convey that to him, so I just kept walking and occasionally would look back and see him about 10 feet behind, following. As I approached my car, I took out my keys and got ready to unlock just the driver door, instead of using the remote. I quickly got in and locked the door. And he stood right in front of the passenger door just looking at me. I turned the car on and right when I was about to leave, he waved, but in a very slow, creepy way."
Wrong Daughter
"When my husband and I lived at our old apartment, I would have the window cracked open during the summer because of how hot it was. Well one morning I woke up to my husband next to me covering me in the blankets. I was nude and didn't want blankets because of the heat."
"I heard a voice of a man I didn't recognize say 'Sorry. Sorry.' I was startled but without my glasses I couldn't see very well. I was terrified seeing the blurry figure of a man halfway in through our window. Like he would have made it all the way in if he turned towards us. My husband told him to shut up and get the f'k out or he'd get his gun. (We don't have one.) He left saying go back to sleep. Husband called the cops. It wasn't the first or last time we were bothered by that same man."
"For background: That man was abusive. His Daughter ran from home and he thought I was her because he never got a good look at my face. He tried calling the cops on my husband a few times for kidnapping. He would pound on our door and threaten my husband with knives saying that his Daughter needed to come home. He kept trying to get to me when my husband left for work."
"I still have issues over it. I work from home and even though we moved I'm still scared of loud knocking and sounds by the windows."
Alive To Tell The Story
"May 10th,2019. I was turning into the end of my street when a dump truck rear ended me pushing me head on into oncoming traffic where I hit another car. The dump driver was texting and never hit his brakes. He was going 60mph. Technically I was dead. A cop was 2 cars back. He pulled me from the wreckage and performed CPR, reviving me. I was medivact away. I remained in a coma for 42 days where I expired twice more. I awoke to be a parapleg."
Druids?
This one is a two for one. Out camping in black forest in germany with a friend. 16 or something at the time. We decided to set up our tents not to far from a castle somewhere on a hilltop. Mind you that area is pretty busy and not at all remote. But if you want to go camping/hiking in europe your options are limited. That day was rainy so we did not see that many people along the trails. After we put up our tents we went to check the castle. After about 10 min alot of people all dressed up in medieval outfits started showing up and looked at us funny. (Either because we did not belong or the smell of weed made em angry idk)
The entire evening we could see this orange hue come from the ruins prob from the campfires. But suddenly they start banging drums and howling like wolves. A bit later we hear people run through the forest left and right but could not see them. Def thought it was some weird cult. Later the same night when things seemed to have settled we hear footsteps. As they get closer they get faster and faster. I turn of our light cause im scared and hoping they would not see us. Suddenly something rushes past the tent and starts screaming like a pig. Turned out to be a hog that charged our tent but missed or something and ended up in our campfire embers. Sleepless night that one.
Sideways Flight
"737 I was on encountered a coincidence of air currents and jet wash from a plane ahead of us on approach. We were fairly close to the ground and the plane turned f*cking SIDEWAYS. One wing pointed at the ground, the other at the sky."
"Happily the pilot recovered and we were fine. But for a moment I had calmly accepted that this was how I was going to die."
– refreshing_usernameRather A B*tch Than Dead
"A group of guys approached me and my friend late at night at a fast food place, insisting we give them a ride to the nearby college and insisting they weren't going to try anything. Mind you, these grown men approached two obviously teenage girls at probably ten at night, and was adamant that we give them a ride. They proceeded to call us cold hearted b*tches when we ( more like I, as my friend just sat there) told them absolutely not. The college wasn't really that far away, maybe a ten minute walk, and it was the middle of summer. Friend disappeared once she ordered her food and I went to go get my fountain drink. The bigger of the dudes got up in my face once again and began hammering me for gas money. Again, told him no over and over. I was almost in tears. He proceeded to cuss me out some more before him and his group of guys left."
"I don't know if they had any ill intentions but as two petite teenage girls late at night, the dudes definitely gave me a weird vibe. Especially when they insisted they weren't going to try anything. My friend told me she felt bad in case they actually needed help but I told her I'd rather be seen as a cold hearted b*tch, then end up missing or dead."
What Happened In A Forest In Germany
"This one is a two for one. Out camping in black forest in germany with a friend. 16 or something at the time. We decided to set up our tents not to far from a castle somewhere on a hilltop. Mind you that area is pretty busy and not at all remote. But if you want to go camping/hiking in europe your options are limited. That day was rainy so we did not see that many people along the trails. After we put up our tents we went to check the castle. After about 10 min alot of people all dressed up in medieval outfits started showing up and looked at us funny. (Either because we did not belong or the smell of weed made em angry idk)
The entire evening we could see this orange hue come from the ruins prob from the campfires. But suddenly they start banging drums and howling like wolves. A bit later we hear people run through the forest left and right but could not see them. Def thought it was some weird cult. Later the same night when things seemed to have settled we hear footsteps. As they get closer they get faster and faster. I turn of our light cause im scared and hoping they would not see us. Suddenly something rushes past the tent and starts screaming like a pig. Turned out to be a hog that charged our tent but missed or something and ended up in our campfire embers. Sleepless night that one."
– Serukka
Inexpensive Purchases That Greatly Improved People's Lives
Reddit user degenerateunicorn asked: 'What inexpensive purchase improved your life greatly?'
As a society, we have made this general correlation that spending more means receiving a higher-quality item.
But sometimes we need to remember that affordable purchases are totally worth our time, and sometimes those purchases prove to be the true game-changers.
Redditor degenerateunicorn asked:
"What inexpensive purchase improved your life greatly?"
Long Charging Cables
"For once and for all, it's a ten-foot charging cable for your phone!"
- usuperavenger
"Not just one... but one for each room you regularly charge your phone. A 10-footer in the bedroom and a 10-footer in the loungeroom, changed my life."
- lhsofthebellcurve
Good Earplugs
"Earplugs. Just pop those in your ears and shut the world out."
- lapsangsouchogn
"I bought some to help me sleep and oh. my. god. I sat on this brilliant idea for seven years. I feel so ashamed of myself."
- DidDunMegasploded
A Library Card
"Does a library card count?"
- Lookimawave
"I'd say so! There's just so much you can do at local libraries! Especially in the bigger cities. The things they have to lend out are really interesting and definitely not just books!"
- appleparkfive
"I hardly ever even go into the physical library, but the card gives me access to e-books, audiobooks, and movies via Libby, Hoopla, Overdrive, and Canopy. Although the physical library does have neat resources like 3D printers, laser cutters, a recording studio, etc."
- Lookimawave
An Electric Toothbrush
"Electric toothbrush!"
- imvital
"Does it make a big difference? Lifelong manual toothbrush user, but I've been considering converting if it's worth it."
- ILoveLamp_1995
"A few years back I needed to get a new toothbrush and the cheapest in the store was a battery-powered electric. I thought why not and tried it out."
"My next dentist visit showed a marked improvement with just that cheap, crappy brush."
"I bought an Oral-B electric brush (with bluetooth!) right there in the dentist's office. Since then, my dentist checkups have just been a bit of scraping, with very little if any bleeding. Definitely worth it."
- nabrok
A Jogging Phone Holder
"A shoulder holster for my phone when I started to run again. It was the running that changed my life obviously, but having my phone within Bluetooth range for music made it achievable. Cost me all of seven dollars."
- EveryonesADose
More Pillows
"I got myself a third pillow last year. I don't know what it is about it but definitely has made sleeping better."
- potatosalade26
A Roomba or Equivalent
"Not necessarily cheap, but a Roomba. Now I HAVE to keep my place clean and decluttered so it can work. No more piles of laundry and whatnots."
- Pale-Dust2239
"There are cheaper ones out there and if you decide to give them a go 100% pay for the extended warranty."
"I got a Eufy which we love but have had it replaced twice in three years for free. Next time it dies we’ll be out of warranty so hopefully I can get enough cash together for a Roomba."
- MissingVanSushi
A Swiss Army Knife
"I got it as a gift but a basic Swiss Army knife. It fits in my pocket, and gives me a crappy screwdriver, bottle opener, tweezers, etc., in a pinch. It also doesn’t freak people out like other pocket knives."
- Mrofcourse
A Meat Thermometer
"A meat thermometer takes the guesswork and worry out of internal temps."
- 9umopapisdn
"Oh my god, do you have a Meater? My husband says it’s the best gift I’ve ever given him. It’s a meat thermometer that connects to your phone."
- degenerateunicorn
A Bidet
"A bidet."
- art8127
"Yes! It costs thirty dollars, and even a doofus like me was able to 'install' it in under 10 minutes."
- poppy-sparklehorse
A Sleep Mask
"A proper sleep mask."
"They're not too expensive. I wrap it around one of those microwavable bean bags shortly before bed and it becomes a warm mask for falling asleep. Super comfortable."
- zomboromcom
"I agree, mine was a great purchase. Not only does it help me sleep in later, but putting it on has now become the signal to my body that it's time to sleep."
- sedimentary-1
Glass Lens Cloth
"Glasses cleaner cloth. Such a little soft piece of cloth saves me from the frustration of constant smears, smudges, possible scratches, and ruining the anti-glare layer on my glasses. I hate looking out of dirty glasses."
- agbmom
A Bicycle
"I bought a second-hand bike for $60 back in the autumn of 2020. I took to cycling, and because of that, I lost 35lbs (but put 20 back on), it renewed my sex life with my husband and I feel healthier. It’s very calming (it’s a multi-use trail, so no vehicles and it’s flat and maintained)."
"I have some wonderful folks I talk to every time I go out and dogs I get to give treats to. I go out any morning I can Spring/Summer/Autumn for between 90 minutes to two hours, as long as it isn’t raining or too windy… I’ll even go out when it’s below 0°C. I’m early retired, so I have plenty of time."
- NickNNS
A Wet Pallet for Painting
"My homemade wet pallet. Leftover scrap container, some sponge, parchment paper, and a little water, and boom. Perfectly thinned acrylic paint and blending surface. It was a game changer for me as an artist."
- Adubya76
A Backscratcher
"A one-dollar backscratcher!"
- LazyHighGoals
"I keep a backscratcher on my nightstand, and now I don’t know how I lived without it."
- wholewheatscythe
Each of these purchases are items that we could not only see purchasing ourselves, but we can totally understand how these were life-changing for these Redditors, despite the price of the purchases. Sometimes the most life-changing things have the smallest price tags!
We’ve all had arguments with people that make us want to bang our head against a wall. But the most difficult arguments are the ones with dumb people or people who always think they are right, when they clearly are not. These Redditors have stories about the most idiotic and painful arguments they’ve had, from parents or bosses who don’t listen and people who can’t be proved wrong, no matter what.
1. No Other Place To Nap
When I was working one day, I had to reprimand a guy for sleeping in a freezer. He moved all the food off the shelf and took a nap. I woke him up, pulled him into the office and he denied it over and over again. Finally, he said, “Why would I sleep in a freezer?” And I just yelled, “I don't know!”
2. Find The Fan File
MacBook Pro turned onPhoto by Andras Vas on UnsplashMy cousin said that her laptop was overheating and making a buzzing sound. Her friend piped up and commented that it was most definitely a virus and that she should take it to Geek Squad to have it removed. I said, "No, it's not a virus. It's probably your fan. Your fan is messed up. It's probably just dusty, try cleaning that out."
This girl got righteously angry and told me that no, it was a virus, and she knows because she had the same issue with her laptop a few months ago and Geek Squad fixed it. This went back and forth for a bit with me insisting that a virus doesn't affect the fan function, it was literally a hardware issue, and she was talking to me like she couldn't believe how stupid I was to not realize that a virus was making my cousin's laptop fan bog down.
I finally explained to her how viruses work. Her reply was so idiotic, it’s unforgettable. She stomped her foot like a child and exploded, "It’s still a virus! The virus just deleted the file that runs the fan!" I stare at her in disbelief. "The file that runs the fan? What is that, fan.exe?" and she said, "Finally, you get it!" She was so convinced that this was the case that my cousin believed her and said she would just take the laptop in to have it checked and cleaned.
Whatever, if you want to pay out to have some smug jerk at Geek Squad "fix" your laptop, that ain't my business.
3. Mr. Know-It-All
My best friend married a partner at an investment firm. His arrogance and smugness have only intensified since I met him. But that’s not the worst part. She’s scared to leave him because he will destroy her. It’s difficult to even talk to him because he can’t grasp simple concepts and thinks I’m stupid because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. He didn’t either, but his excuse is that he’s not from the US.
I tried explaining to him once that as long as the R estimate for COVID was above 1, then the number of cases would keep increasing. It’s exponential growth, which is something you would think someone in investing should be able to comprehend. He didn’t understand so I dumbed it down and said for every 10 people who have Covid, if they infect 11 people then the infection rate would go up even though those first 10 people got better.
I tried to explain sixth-grade math and he was looking at me like I was the stupidest person he had ever spoken to. He tried to argue that for every one person who had Covid they would have to infect at least 10 people before the infection rate increased. He was flabbergasted that he had to explain such a simple concept, even though he was incredibly wrong.
For background, I have an advanced degree in a statistical field. I have peer-reviewed publications of mathematical models I’ve developed. I’m known as one of the two Bayesian specialists at my university. He had a beginner’s Bayesian book sitting on his table when I came to visit once. He saw me eyeing it and he grabbed it and said he was trying to learn about what “his data people were doing.”
I said I had a pretty decent concept on the topic if he had any questions. First, he did this insulting laugh. Then he said something so rude, it made me see red. In a super condescending tone said, “No offense, but this is way too hard for you, you wouldn’t understand,” and then walked out of the room with the book. Last week he overheard me talking to his wife about a project of mine.
He told me I didn’t know what I was doing and then tried to explain my project to me even though he didn’t actually know what I was doing and he has the statistical capabilities of a kindergartner. I finally stopped him and told him that what he was saying wasn’t correct and that stats don’t work that way. He told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I would never be able to find a “real job” anyway because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school.
I work for an R1 university and have government contracts and am not looking for a new job. I just turned my back to him and started talking to his wife again. The absolute arrogance of someone truly thinking they are the smartest person in the room. The worst thing is that is how he got rich. He started his first job at an investment firm bringing in clients and worked his way up.
He talks with such conviction that he sounds brilliant…if you didn’t actually know your stuff. He’s also very attractive and has made it into a Buzzfeed article because of his appearance, which he’ll never let go of, and a smooth talker, which I think makes people want to believe him. But darn, he’s so stupid it’s painful!
4. Ignorance Is Bliss
red letters neon lightPhoto by Simone Secci on UnsplashI was having an argument with my aunt and she said something which I asked her to define what it meant. Her response was utterly insane. She told me to never ask questions because it was a stupid thing to do. I rolled my eyes, left, and never talked to her again besides the obligatory exchanging of pleasantries at family gatherings.
5. Can’t Argue With A Flat Earther
I met a flat earther. He said the whole thing was a conspiracy. I tried asking him where the edge was and he said it was a ring of ice. I tried explaining that for his conspiracy to work, literally hundreds of thousands of people around the world in various space agencies would need to keep the secret yet not one has come forward with the "truth."
It didn't work. I also tried telling him we have literal photos and clips of the round earth spinning and he said it was a lie. No matter how much logic the rest of us threw at him he just refused to accept it. We all came away thinking less of him because he was being so stubborn.
6. Miss Know-It-All
woman in white crew neck shirt smilingPhoto by Jake Nackos on UnsplashI used to have a friend who would legit argue with you about your own experiences, tastes/opinions, and pretty much anything else. Some examples include: Insisting that neither my husband nor I could possibly remember September 11 because we were only 11 years old at the time. Also insisting that no one could possibly remember anything from before the age of 10.
She said that I was lying about the fact that I can remember every teacher I ever had, and have memories from as young as three years old. They tried to start an argument that polio isn’t contagious. If you liked some piece of art, clothing, home design or another purely opinion-based thing that was simply not her taste, you were wrong.
When I expressed an interest in living abroad for some of my life, she tried to sit me down and lecture me that she knew better than me about whether or not I would enjoy it. Her conclusion was that I wouldn’t. She refused to acknowledge that professional Adobe products are now only available by subscription, and insisted that I must be wrong in telling her so.
She began explaining why pattern making for clothing would be too hard for me to learn, moments after I explained to her what it was. She had never heard of it before and had no idea how clothes were made. She started an argument with me that my nephew is not adorable and that no one really finds children cute, they just pretend to.
She wouldn’t hear of the possibility that someone could go to Iceland and enjoy themselves just because her brother had a stopover at the airport there and was very bored. Sure, it was all annoying—but it was nothing compared to her worst moment. She got upset when our friend group didn’t approve of her brother calling a Black man the N-word because he “needed” to make the guy really angry. There were so many more but I can’t remember them all.
Every interaction with her was an exercise in frustration. Her only tactics for debating or arguing were repeating the same stupid points over and over again after they had been combatted, making you feel like you’re emotional or unreasonable when she said something incredibly hurtful and offensive, and talking over everyone while being very condescending and rude.
7. Difficult Times
My friend's boyfriend didn't observe daylight savings time. He understood that the rest of us did. He just didn't. I said, "Ok, but if we agree to meet for dinner at 5 o'clock, we're both using my 5 o'clock, right?". I tried explaining that I observe daylight savings exactly twice a year, once when I set my clocks back and once when I set my clocks forward.
The rest of the time it's a non-entity in my life. However, by not observing daylight savings, he has to observe daylight savings at all times every day, as he constantly has to worry about converting his internal time to whatever time the rest of the world is using. I was unable to convince him of that logic, however, as he is a stupid person.
8. Phones Are Stupid
selective focus photography of man wearing blue and white striped collared topPhoto by yerling villalobos on UnsplashAnytime my father-in-law tries to start a discussion which is a thinly-veiled attempt to have a "gotcha!" moment against me or my wife, as soon as he starts losing, the actual specifics of the argument go out the window and he starts character attacks or makes wild accusations about what is or isn't allowed in the discussion.
He tried to support the claim that Kamala Harris can't be president because her parents weren't citizens so I pulled up the US Constitution on my phone and read the amendment for presidents and rather than engage with that, he said I was wrong and the paper that his sister read was right, and I don't really know anything, I just know whatever my phone knows.
9. Stubborn Child
In school for my new job, at the beginning, there was a woman sitting next to me. I was like 22 or 23 years old and she was easily 40 years old. At the beginning, we got along well but then—things changed. She started to desperately search for similarities and it got annoying. Then she always asked me about stuff the teachers said while the teachers still talked.
She basically wanted a live translation from me but without changing the language. Of course, this resulted in both of us not being able to listen anymore. No way to explain to her that she should just listen herself and at least try to understand. I would've happily tried to help her afterward when I had time to hear it myself.
First clue was that she was not so bright. I was incredibly over her but still stayed nice. Then we were supposed to work in pairs on a small but not easy task. Of course, she didn't understand a word. I explained one thing to her for the umpteenth time. Sometimes it's cursed, you just don't get one thing. But then she proceeded to tell me I was wrong.
Which was fine if she could only tell me why. But no, it was a matter of, "I have no clue what's up with that. I don't understand it in the slightest but I just know you're wrong about it just because". I was not wrong. I re-read it 10 times in our sources, found different sources, and tried to break it down to basically elementary school levels.
She stopped listening to me and just continued to argue that I was wrong. Remember, that woman was more than 15 years older than me and around 40 years old. I lost my patience, stopped talking to her, and just presented the task by myself. She did not admit anything after the fact. Shortly after, she changed seats after a different incident, and not long after that she dropped out. Surprise, surprise.
10. The Apple Guy Who Discovered Gravity
person holding green applePhoto by Jony Ariadi on UnsplashBoth my friends were incredibly smart but one of them refused to believe that gravity actually exists. He was convinced that if "the apple guy" didn't discover gravity we as a society would have the ability to play with brainpower. I stopped trying to talk him out of this but the other friend was almost foaming at the mouth with rage over this conversation.
11. Fly Out Of My Life
I have a lot of birds, budgies, cockatiels, lovebirds, cockatoos, canaries, hummingbirds, etc. I study birds and I built an aviary for each species of bird on the second floor of my house. Each bird has its own aviary and I take care of them. Most of the birds in my aviary are tamed. All of my budgies are tamed, all of my cockatiels are tamed except for the really young ones.
Half of my lovebirds are tamed, the majority of my cockatoos are tamed and my hummingbirds and canaries are in the process of being tamed. So three months ago my mom wanted to visit me for my birthday and went to my house. I cut her out of my life three years ago for protecting a man who had assaulted me, so I tried to never talk to her again.
She found out where I live because of my brother and went to my house. She came inside my home and we talked for a bit, then I showed her my aviaries and my birds and she started telling me that I was maltreating them and that these birds should be on the streets. Keep in mind these are budgies, canaries, cockatiels, and hummingbirds, animals that probably wouldn’t survive due to cats, especially budgies and cockatiels.
I calmly explained to her what would happen if one of my birds escaped and we kept talking. Later she brought up the discussion again and started calling me an animal abuser and a piece of trash. I told her what would happen if a cat saw a budgie and thought of attacking it. We started arguing and she said I should let them go. But the worst was yet to come. She then ran to my budgies’ aviary and opened the doors.
I just watched as half of my birds flew to my arms, some flew towards my room and got inside my bathroom and half of my birds just freaked out and stayed inside the aviary. I stopped her when she tried to open the cockatoos and the hummingbirds' aviary and I kicked her out. All of my budgies were like, “What in the world just happened?”
I spent an hour and a half finding everyone and getting them back to the aviary. She never contacted me again. The next morning the authorities showed up saying a woman had called telling them I was mistreating my birds and they went inside to look at my birds. They ended up covered in bird poop, because I opened my budgies’ aviary door and they had the birds all over their head and shoulders! We got a good laugh and they left.
12. Unforgettable
blue and green peacock featherPhoto by Milad Fakurian on UnsplashAfter talking to a stoner friend about how having weed impairs your brain's formation of memories, he had the perfect one-liner. He said: "That doesn't happen to me, I don't remember forgetting anything."
13. Veggies Will Cure It All
This was so infuriating, I’ll never forget it. I opened up about my inability to have children and how frustrated I am with people recommending things that won’t work for me because the problem isn’t infertility. A woman started up about how I should try going vegan to cure my infertility. I reminded her that wasn’t the issue.
She pressed on, saying she didn’t believe in miracles but for her, it was like hitting a switch. She’s had two babies since going vegan and she couldn’t be happier, maybe I should try it. I said no. She got offended that I refused to even consider. I’m not infertile. Trying to carry a baby would destroy my body Breaking Dawn-style.
Plus, I’m on two medications that corrupt my eggs like a computer virus, so I really cannot have children.
14. Know Your Math
red and white brick wallPhoto by IGOR SECHINOV on UnsplashI had an argument with my garage door installer. He was installing the motor and I noticed that it was 1/4 horsepower. I immediately told him that I had ordered the bigger motor. He said that this was the biggest. I then proceeded to tell him that I ordered the 1/2 horsepower engine. He told me that one is too small and this one is bigger.
What in the world?! I asked, “How do you figure that?” He said everybody knows that 4 is bigger than 2 in the most sarcastic voice. There was no convincing him that 1/2 was bigger than 1/4. I finally just had to call his boss.
15. Living In A Castle Is Hard
My mom’s reasoning is that if every room is open, the hot air has places to circulate so it will be hotter. Now keep in mind we only used about five rooms in our 12 room house, so my logic was that if we close the rooms we aren't using then we would only have to heat the rooms we use and then we don't have to keep it in the mid-60s during winter.
Well one week she went on a vacation and left the house to me so I decided to test that theory and wouldn't you believe it, not only was the house warmer but the heating bill was also lower for that week. She of course was having none of it, so she opened up all the rooms again, then it got cold and the heating bill went up.
16. Their Loss
black and gray corded telephonePhoto by Wilhelm Gunkel on UnsplashI have a dumb relative who always thinks she knows better. Years ago she wanted me to help her with some sort of device that lets her call long distance without paying for long-distance on landline using the internet. But the problem is she had a dial-up connection, which is super slow. I tried explaining to her several times how she would have to upgrade her internet first for anything to be effective.
But she kept saying she heard this product will fix all of that and insisted on buying it. I even told her what will happen, which is, it's probably a scam and they'll give some useless part like a router and you would have wasted your time and mine, and money. She didn't listen and went through because she always thinks she's smart.
Well, a few weeks go by and she gets the device and of course, it's just a random router when she wants me to install it. Everything I said to her earlier comes true. She just ignores what I say and moves on to something else that will work better. Rinse and repeat. This is how dumb people usually are in my experience. They think they know better than you.
When things don't go according to plan, they either make an excuse and it's never their fault, and/or move on to another thing with the same stupid thinking.
17. Being Respectful
Someone told me she deleted pictures she took of a tree because she had a feeling the tree would be offended by having its picture taken out of fear its soul might be taken. Even if we assume souls exist, that trees have souls, emotions, memory, thought, the ability to communicate and eyes to see what you are doing, how would they have any idea what a photo is?
Or know that your phone can take photos? Or a religion and complex thought to believe in souls? Like just what?
18. True Sparta Fan
a statue of a man riding a horsePhoto by Nikos Vlachos on UnsplashA friend of mine and I were having a fun argument about classic history. We were talking about Alexander and whether or not the western Mediterranean was ever going to be a possibility. We're knee-deep in the discussion when our co-worker comes up and starts spouting off that Alexander only conquered as much as he did because of his Spartan army.
Everything we said after that just fueled this man's love for Sparta and his need to tell us about his romanticized version of the place. Sparta wasn't a part of the Macedonian army? That doesn't invalidate his point about Alexander's conquests, no, it just meant that Sparta was so badass that they couldn't be conquered.
Sparta's regular army dwindled by a factor of ten between the Peloponnesian wars and the days of Alexander? They just got ten times as tough, haven't you seen 300?! The conversation slowly devolved until we were just talking about Sparta. It became him trying to defend his bizarre utopia for nearly the rest of our shift.
He stayed firm through boy love, economic recession, lack of army technology, and religious fervor. Only the fact that Sparta was de facto run by a small group of wealthy women seemed to disturb him. I feel like I was gaining some ground with my buddy, but to this day I think Sparta dude still gets off to 300 as a nightly ritual.
19. Bad Influence
I had a dad in a skatepark go on an extended rant and attempt to fight me because I lost my cool and swore loudly when his son, who didn't know park etiquette and was getting in everyone's way for two hours at this point, cut in front of me at high-speed causing me to nearly break my wrist. The most irritating part? The guy was drinking in broad daylight, smoking, threatening assault, and not paying any attention to his son at all prior.
Somehow I'm the jerk because "you're supposed to be a good influence on the kids." Mate, I come to a skatepark to skate, not babysit every kid there because their parents haven't taught them how a skatepark works. You’re supposed to be a good influence on the kid, you're his freaking dad. Bringing him to a park he has no idea how to use, not taking steps to help him learn, drinking in public, and trying to start fights is not being a good influence.
20. I’m Done
smiling girl in black and white striped shirtPhoto by Julien L on UnsplashA customer presented a coupon from a franchise store that had, "Franchise location ____ only" on it very plainly. Cue, "Sorry, this is a franchise coupon, we're corporate-owned and can't take it, but I can give you this very similar deal that is only two dollars more." She didn't understand. After three or four attempts of saying it in different ways, I finally told her "I'm sorry you're not understanding what I'm telling you, but I can't do this. Do you want the option I mentioned or not?"
She started again with, "Why can't you-!" and I just walked away.
21. Flushed It Down
I watched Michio Kaku give a speech at a conference. He was talking about technology and how cheap and easy things are getting to make. He talked about how we will someday in the not so distant future have technology as thin as a sheet of paper, that will have all the workings of some of our most advanced technology of today, but that we will just basically throw away like it's actually a sheet of paper.
He went on to talk about how our toilets will someday collect information on the waste that our bodies produce, eventually getting to a point where we can detect cancer. I got back from the conference and was over at some friend's house making some dinner and I was talking to a girl I was dating at the time. I was telling her about the conference, what Kaku was talking about and eventually explained the toilets. Her reply was unbelievable.
She said, "That's freaking stupid. Cancer won't be able to be detected from your waste by a toilet." I was like, “so you don't think that in another 50 years, with the rate that technology is progressing, that we won't have toilets that will be able to tell us if we have cancer cells in our bodies?” She told me that if I believed that, that I was a stupid person.
And went on further to clarify that I was not just being ignorant in this situation, but that I was a stupid person, incapable of intelligent thought. I don't get set off by much. But this led to a screaming match over the phone that ended with me hanging up my phone. My humiliation didn’t end there. I then remembered that I'm standing in my friend's kitchen, with him and his wife staring at me from the living room, me fuming, and holding a wooden spoon in my hand.
I just looked at them and said, "She wouldn't believe that toilets will be able to detect cancer."
22. Can’t Decide
gray sedan beside pizza storePhoto by Matthew LeJune on UnsplashMy parents and I decided to go out to eat, so we stopped at our favorite pizza parlor. They also served sandwiches, which I really liked, and pasta. Well, I wanted a sandwich, my mother wanted pasta, and my dad wanted pizza. In the end, we had none, as we got into a heated argument at the table before storming out, leaving the crowd there quite perplexed, I'm sure.
Why we all didn't just get what we wanted rather than force everyone else to get the same things, I have no idea.
23. Paint It Red
I was making paint at a hardware store to pay for college. A co-worker completely messed up a customer's order by making the wrong color. Me being the competent one, I take a glance at the color and notice that there is still room in the can to make it the proper color. I manually shoot the remaining tint into the bucket and the idiot co-worker walks by and notices I'm fixing her mistake.
In front of the customer, she states that I do not have the authority to manually operate the tint machine, which I mean, at that point we had been coworkers for two years so I have no idea where she got that notion. I nod and say “I got it” and assure her that everything is fine. She continues being belligerent in front of the customer and I continue stating “I got it” with various levels of screw off and eye glare.
The paint comes out of the shaker perfectly fine and I reassure the customer that his wife won't see any difference in color. I leave the paint booth and my boss is walking towards me and I mutter, "Have fun with this one" while I use the restroom. My boss chews us both out for arguing in front of a customer, which looking back I don't disagree with. But at least I got some form of retribution. She got demoted to cashier.
24. Didn’t See That Coming
gray concrete statue of womanPhoto by Egor Myznik on UnsplashIn the long-ago times before smartphones, I was working on a school project on Marco Polo and mentioned some random Marco Polo facts to a friend. She agreed that they were interesting and added, "It's extra impressive because, you know, he was blind." I felt like, at this point, one of my books probably would have mentioned if he was blind so I asked her where she heard that. Her explanation was so hilarious, I still laugh to this day.
She told me that he must have been because why else would we close our eyes when playing the game? It started out gently as I tried to explain that Marco Polo was not blind but I didn't actually know why we closed our eyes while playing Marco Polo. I have since looked it up and allegedly it's because Marco Polo didn't have a freaking clue about where he was going.
It escalated into a full-on screaming match about whether or not Marco Polo was, in fact, blind. He wasn't, by the way.
25. He’s A Bright One
I had an argument about how light travels through space. It seems like a scientific argument on the surface. While the context was scientific, the content was far from it. My younger brother was arguing about the age of the universe with me. I told him it was 13.8 billion years old and he told me it was 6000. I explained to him that if the universe was only 6,000 years old, we would not be able to see stars more than 6,000 lightyears away.
And because we can see stars billions of lightyears away the universe must be at least that old. Now I expected his argument to be, "How do we know those stars are billions of lightyears away? How do we know they aren't closer?" and I had a good follow-up for that. But no, he went with, "well that's because the light from those stars was placed closer to Earth when it was created, so we could see them." I had no follow-up for that.
He took my speechlessness as a victory. You might think by "younger brother" I mean a boy who is 10 or 11 years old. No, he's 24.
26. A Pass For Free Stuff
white windows envelopPhoto by Liam Truong on UnsplashWay back when I was a phone service advisor for a credit card company, this lady called in confused about a piece of mail we had sent her. She said, "I don't understand why you sent me a bill. I paid for the TV at the store with my card." I replied, “Yes, ma'am. Now, this is the bill for using your credit card.” “But I used my credit card. Why would I have to pay again?"
This went on for about a good hour. This poor excuse for an adult believed that a credit card was just an all-access pass to buy anything you wanted for free. That was a devastating job.
27. That’s A Hard Shell To Crack
My friend was convinced that selfish was pronounced shellfish. I wrote the word out, sounded it out and it was like I was saying the sun was blue. She just wouldn't have it. I don’t know if she was screwing with me, but 2-3 years after that whole argument we got in a different argument about her basically being a brat and she has the most jaw-dropping reply.
She said: "Sorry, I was being shellfish." I couldn't stay mad at that moron.
28. Put A Brake On That Thought
man driving a car wearing wrist watchPhoto by why kei on UnsplashMy brother made the statement that when you pressed the top of the accelerator pedal, you went faster, as opposed to the bottom. It took me four hours to explain to him that it doesn't matter where on the pedal you press, however far down it is determines what speed you're going to be traveling at.
29. Mr. Hobbit The Science Guy
I had an argument about whether or not Lord of the Rings is a sci-fi movie. There were 3-4 people out of 10 vehemently claiming that because the laws of physics were mostly obeyed, the movies had scientific elements and are to be considered sci-fi films. We were practically screaming at each other for the better part of two hours.
30. Phone Stuff
black corded telephonePhoto by Alexander Andrews on UnsplashI had an argument with someone about whether or not electricity runs through phone lines. After a while, I asked her, "Well then, what do you think runs through phone lines?" She replied, "Phone Stuff."
31. Like Mother Like Daughter
I had an ex argue with me over which would weigh more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers. We went back and forth forever while I tried to explain it to her. It did not help when her mother chimed in with, "What about a pound of wet feathers?!" The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
32. Light Show
white microwave oven turned offPhoto by Erik Mclean on UnsplashA friend tried to put aluminum foil in the microwave, I, and literally every other person we asked, from friends to complete strangers, tried to explain that it does not end well. They strongly believed, and I quote, "It just makes a little light show in the microwave." My friend wanted to put food on top of aluminum foil, then put it in the microwave for 30-60 seconds.
33. The Animal Whisperer
I was vegan for a few years and joined a club-type organization. We would swap recipes, talk about new products and just hang out. Most of the people were pretty awesome, but like everything, some were a bit loony. There was this one girl, who thought all animals could choose to be vegan. In her opinion, a wolf could just decide one day, "I want to avoid animal products."
So she would talk about wanting to go speak to wild animals about the benefits of a vegan diet. I tried to tell her that animals really couldn't just go vegan and she suggested that we feed them soy-based meat alternatives. We all tried to help her understand that animals can't and she refused to believe us. She eventually stopped coming to the get-togethers.
Thankfully, she refused to own pets, so no animals directly suffered from her beliefs. They just had to listen to her talk when she went out converting.
34. Challenging Authority
grayscale photo of man and woman holding their handsPhoto by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on UnsplashI'm a union leader so I have had my share of arguing with stupid people and it's not always the employer. Though I've had moments with the employer the most memorable are with my members. I have a couple of members that I like to refer to as having the "what if" personality. When on their back foot they'll ask you what if this happens or if that happens.
Do they have a policy for this or what about this? It's like you're talking to an adult version of the two-year-old child who is constantly asking why. They turn what could be a five-minute conversation into a two-week-long conversation. My best experience of this was with a guy who would constantly come up with an extremely unlikely scenario and wanted the employer to have a policy written up detailing how he should respond in each case.
I kinda just gave up arguing with him as each item turned into a multiple-hour session of me patiently trying to explain to him that the employer doesn't have to tell you specifically how to do your job as a tradesmen. That the earthquake has a 1 in a billion chance of happening here is not an OHS issue and that a generalized emergency response plan is an acceptable level of planning for that event.
You should know how to do your typical work tasks that are related to your trade safely. I informed him that if he's concerned about it then he has to follow the OHS process. In Canada, we have a process for handling OHS concerns. Essentially it starts with the supervisor, then it goes to a local OHS committee, and then it goes to the site manager, and then if there is still no resolution it goes to the federal/provincial level for their final say.
This guy pushed it all the way through, with each step denying his concerns, only for the federally-appointed safety officer to inform him that his employer was going above and beyond. That my member's concern wasn't valid. He didn't accept that as an answer but he couldn't take it any further other than them to just keep rephrasing his question.
The employer eventually found a way to lay him off because of lack of work. I wonder why they did that? In Canada, you also have the right to refuse to do unsafe work but this guy wouldn't refuse to do the work because he felt safe enough to do it. But would still push his concerns up the chain.
35. Not The Right Fit
I had a computer science teacher who didn't know anything about technology. We got into arguments because she insisted that a degree in creative writing would be the best way to prepare yourself for an IT job rather than a degree in computer science.
36. One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Trash
gray metal tool cabinetPhoto by Tania Melnyczuk on UnsplashMy family has this deceptive maneuver where they slowly change the argument to something they can make you wrong about, picking the one detail they know can turn the argument in their favor and slowly pivot the conversation away from what the real argument is about and into a situation where now they’re right and I'm the one who’s wrong for asking them to stop trying to give us their junk.
All I want is for them to ask before dropping stuff off in our house because we don’t have room for their old flower pots. We don't want them, but just ask us first. Well, that got out of hand. In that situation, they make you feel like a jerk because beggars can’t be choosers and we should just be happy that we’re getting stuff for free.
But we didn’t beg for anything and they just brought this trash over because they didn’t have the room for it. What makes them think we do? Their house is twice as big. Ok. I’ll stop.
37. A For Effort
A friend of mine in school was convinced that he could find a triangle whose angles wouldn't add up to 180 degrees after learning the rule in class. I just couldn't get him to understand that if he finds some shape that doesn't fit the definition of a triangle, then by definition he has not found a triangle.
38. Two-Faced
a woman covering her eyes with her handsPhoto by Jussara Paulo on UnsplashMy mom yells, "But there's two sides!", quite literally like a toddler whenever you defend yourself. If you're always advocating for the devil, you might be the devil.
39. Temper Tantrum
I know someone who legitimately stood up in the middle of a meeting about her child harassment, in the child protection offices, and yelled at everyone that the child deserved to be jabbed because she did not know how to play the game Operation. At that moment in reality, there wasn't anything I, the child protection officer, her boyfriend, brother, and sister, or the grandparents or father could say to her.
I don't think there are words in existence appropriate for that situation. I could only say, "What the actual heck?"
40. Work Harder, Not Smarter
large warhausePhoto by Ruchindra Gunasekara on UnsplashA conversation with an OPS manager went something like this, "We should reorganize the warehouse racks so that the cases with the greatest velocity are at the top." The reply: "Excuse me, but do you perhaps mean 'mass' or even 'volume'?" Their retort: "No, I mean velocity. Don't insult my intelligence again." The argument continued: "Okay, but none of these boxes are moving at the moment. Their velocity is 0 - across the board."
It finished with: "You and I are going to talk with HR." The same ops manager a couple of weeks later said: "What do you think you're doing?" "Just moving boxes. It's the only thing that we do in this warehouse." The manager said: "You're not on process. One Best Way is that we pick up, label, then move one box at a time."
I said: "You're saying that if I label 5 of these boxes, each of them less than 1lbs., then move them to this cart all at once, I will be performing my job at a slower pace than if I did each and every one individually?" They said: "Yes. You are expected to be on process and this is the best process." I replied: "I don't quite see how the wasted energy of turning back and forth between the pallet and the cart more than necessary results in more efficient work. Could you give me a demonstration?"
They said, "No. It's your job to move boxes, not mine." Finally, I said: "I... Fine. In my honor, I will henceforth move every single box with the exact process you just detailed." A few days later he and my area manager pulled me aside because my production had dropped by 43%, which honestly is a testament to how hard I was trying to actually make his "process" work. Walmart is a horrible place to work.
41. Fight Like An Adult
My mom’s entire argument tactic was to interrupt the other person as soon as they open their mouth. It didn’t matter if you were calm, reasonable, and respectful. The moment sound came out of you, she would come in with greater volume. She usually didn’t have much to say, so she would literally repeat herself just to interrupt you.
Even if you paused and let her speak, if she was out of stuff to say, she would wait quietly until you try to talk again then interrupt you with something she already said. She wasn’t even subtle about what she was doing. She was prideful about how great of a debater she was. She thought this childish and disrespectful thing actually made her strong and respectable.
I don’t think she ever realized that she didn’t actually win any arguments but simply wore the other person down until they gave up on a constructive adult conversation with her.
42. Human Repellent
woman sitting on bed with flying booksPhoto by Lacie Slezak on UnsplashI am dealing with a housemate with a wickedly bad temper. Her boyfriend is an old friend of mine and I wanted to help them out since they were living in her mom's house last year. I did not know her well at all. Everything she’s subjected me to has made me regret ever trying to help. She wields her temper like it's a weapon, and any time you try to express what you or someone else is feeling, she immediately argues and invalidates you.
She has told her partner she is going to kill herself in order to win arguments. Often times the things she is spouting as an argument are projections of her behavior or projections of her temper. She does not respect the boundaries of others, but demands that her boundaries be respected and any conversation to find compromise and even ground is met with anger.
Her lack of control over her words, once she's triggered, are some of the meanest, most vitriolic things I've ever heard from anyone. My partner, who was her friend and got her a job at her work, also had her own falling out with this person and now won't come over to my house due to fear of this person's behavior. I am exhausted. I probably have to deal with this for another 2 months.
43. Very Idiotic Person
I deal with entitled wealthy investors every day. The only thing worse than arguing with a stupid person is a stupid wealthy person who thinks they are important.
44. Can’t Let You Win
woman in brown sweater covering her face with her handPhoto by Dev Asangbam on UnsplashMy mom cuts me off when I speak and when I know I start to win she starts mocking me in a voice that makes me sound stupid. It's really degrading and hurts my feelings but I can’t do anything but just walk away. Now that I think about it, I really don’t have the best parents.
45. The Government Got Her Mind
Fresh out of college, I lived with a few people who I didn’t really know before moving in. One of the roommates was this slightly older guy who was dating a woman similar in age. She was over our place one day and somehow contrails came up, except she referred to them as chemtrails. You see, I was really minding my business watching something on the TV.
I had just graduated with a degree in atmospheric science and there’s no way I’m going to share living space with someone who refers to contrails as chemtrails. So I say, “You mean contrails, no?” She didn’t, she meant chemtrails because the government is spraying us all with some mind-controlling substances or whatever she claimed it to be.
So I explained to her the reason why airplanes produce a contrail, which was easy to do considering how much of my time and money went on learning about the dynamics of the atmosphere. She didn’t believe that some younger woman could possibly know more than her. That's when she pulled out her trump card: “I live right next to an airport, so I can see that when they first take off there’s no trail. It’s not until they get to a certain height that they switch it on.”
This was literally right after I had explained how pressure and temperature affect humidity and condensation and how pressure and temperature are much lower at higher altitudes. I realized then that I could not convince this person that they were wrong. Luckily he and she moved into another place together not long after.
46. All Began With A Bag Of Cheetos
orange and yellow plastic pack on white tablePhoto by Giorgio Trovato on UnsplashI had a massive year-plus-long argument with my old roommate over Cheetos. I bought a bag of hot Cheetos because I hadn't had them since elementary school and had a taste for them. So I put the unopened bag into my designated cabinet and went on my way. A few days later I decided that I'm going to eat my Cheetos. I open the cabinet and notice the bag is opened and empty.
Someone has eaten my Cheetos and stuck the empty bag back in the cabinet. So I confront my roommate calmly and say, "Hey man, could you please not eat my food?" Roommate blows up and starts screaming that he needs it and he's starving. He's unemployed at the time and I guess he ran out of food stamps for the month. I pointed out that he was welcome to share my cereal or fruit but eating all of my snacks was inappropriate.
Lots of screaming and door slamming ensues. Well, that was just the beginning of my nightmare. The rest of the time I lived there he would take my wet clothes out of the washing machine and throw them on the floor, purposely slam stuff while I'm sleeping, take my food out of the fridge and leave it on the counter to go bad, etc. And we would regularly continue these screaming matches over this $2 bag of Cheetos.
I don't even live there anymore and he still tells my boyfriend I'm controlling and he should break up with me. I also forgot to change my address for my bank after I moved and my new debit card got sent there and he keeps denying that he has it. I never even ended up buying another bag of Cheetos since then. A bag of Cheetos has caused the biggest ongoing argument I have ever been in.
47. Snap Back
Long ago, over 20 years ago, I had a lovely beat-my-head-against-the-wall discussion with a young lady who had no children of her own, and no experience raising children with disabilities. What she said was so chilling, it made my blood boil. She proceeded to tell me that my wife and I needed to be firmer and more strict with our autistic son so that he would "snap out of it" and start talking and stop "acting autistic."
I cannot remember how exactly I phrased my response as it was in Spanish, not my native language, but it was basically a polite version of "pound sand, you have no idea what you are talking about."
48. Someone Take Her On A Road Trip
waving Canada flagPhoto by sebastiaan stam on UnsplashSomeone argued that "You can't drive to Canada from New York because New York is a state and Canada is a different country!" She was quite insistent. However, I knew I was correct because at the moment of that argument I was in my car on my way to Montreal.
Getting a job may be difficult, but believe it or not, it's allegedly harder to get fired from jobs.
Employees have to seriously be incapable of doing the job they were hired for, or they must be so miserable after realizing the job description was not what they signed up for that they deliberately jeopardize their position just to be shown the door.
Strangers online were happy to provide examples of terminated coworkers when Redditor Business_Reporter420 asked:
"What’s the fastest way you’ve ever seen a new coworker get fired?"
The couple times deserve the benefit of a doubt.
And then there are the other times after that...
Losing Track Of Time
"6 hours. Call center job. She showed up to orientation on day 1 about an hour late. Hey stuff happens. Then we go on a 15 min break. She goes out to take a phone call, comes back in after about 45 min. We go to lunch, it's 30 minutes. She comes back over an hour later. We go on afternoon break, when the 15 min break is up, one of the trainers gets up and steps out in the hall and closes the door behind him. We hear her arrive and argue with him about 20 minutes after that. He comes back in and gets the stuff she left at her desk and we never see her again."
– misoranomegami
A String Of Unfortunate Events
"First day, her grandmother died. Understandable. Second day, her car broke down. Bad luck. Third day she had no electricity and couldn’t blow dry her hair. She was told not to bother coming in at all."
– exitzero
The Employee On Her Own Schedule
"There are a lot of these people. What do they think is going to happen, like they'll come in to work eventually, everyone will understand, and they'll be a great employee... tomorrow though. Today they're hungover."
"I fired a girl like this... she acted gobsmacked 'wow, gosh, really? This is kinda crazy, i've never been fired before.'"
"She showed up for about 50% of her scheduled days for like 2 straight weeks. Did she really think that was how jobs work?"
– Steinmetal4
Downfall Of Mass Hiring
"Worked for startups the past couple of years before I recently took a new gig but we had to hire about 100 people in the span of 2 weeks which I told my boss was a bad idea but the CEO insisted"
"Hired a young lady, she had a spotty resume but was very cheerful and friendly in the interview and my boss's instructions were if they are nice and friendly 'pass them on to me.'"
"we oversaw the customer service relations for this company."
"On her first day she came in 15 minutes late, got into an argument with a customer on her first training call and took the mic and farted into it as loud as I've ever heard a human being fart"
"We paid her for the full day."
"Best hire ever."
– _Nolofinwe_
Some people were never a fit for the job.
Fear Gets In The Way
"I was working as a stable boy, and I was showing the new girl around the stables. As I introduced her to the horses, she was very apprehensive to come near them, refusing to even step into the stall (she signed on to help care for the horses.)"
"Later that day, she admitted that the horses terrified her, so the boss let her go."
– AlternativeFilm8886
The Sibling Discount
"In high school I worked at a clothing store as a cashier. Guy next to me has his sister come through with a huge pile of merchandise."
"He scans one item that was on clearance for like $2 over and over again for everything she had, which was likely hundreds of dollars."
"Didn’t realize the manager was standing right behind him."
“Go clock out and give me your name tag, you’re gone.”
"He didn’t argue or anything, just put his head down and walked off."
"The manager jumps on the register to clear the transaction out and the sister takes out her card, 'This is gonna be a credit.'”
"Manager says 'Not for $2 it’s not, get out of here.'”
"The sister actually tried to complete the purchase like nothing had happened lol"
– Plantayne
Gamer On The Clock
"A guy at my work was caught playing World of Warcraft for hours each day. Boss called him in and told him that was wholly unacceptable and he had to stop immediately or he'd be canned."
"Less than an hour later, IT calls the same boss and says the guy is back in his office playing again. He was let go that day."
– jpiro
Rule Breaker
"Worked in a sales call center about 10 years ago, real braindead work. New guy starts on a Monday morning, after he gets trained up on the basics (which takes about an hour), he gets assigned a desk and sets off to work."
"30 minutes later, it looks like little puffs of steam are rising up from his computer monitor. Turns out he was vaping on one of those disposable ecigarettes, the kind that sort of tried to look like real cigarettes. He gets told by the boss that we can't vape indoors, and if he wants to, he'll have to go outside to do it on a break."
"About 30 minutes later again, the same thing happens. He gets caught again, and is told in no uncertain terms that if he wants to keep his job, he'll stop vaping at his desk."
"An hour later, he gets caught hiding under his desk vaping, and is promptly fired, all before lunch time. Dude could have just gone outside."
– Mr_Itch
First And Final Delivery
"Day 1, delivering pizzas. I was the trainer."
"Dude wasn't familiar with the town at all (this was before GPS was a thing)."
"Second delivery, he gets in the car, and proceeds to floor it in the parking lot, showing off all 80 horsepower for the 30 feet before slamming on the brakes to turn onto the main street, nearly hitting a customer and her young child."
"I say whoah, slow down in the Parking lot, you almost hit that kid."
"'F'k em' was his response."
"That was his last delivery, lasted all of about 90 minutes."
– talontd92tsi
The easiest way for a worker to get off the payroll is for them to actually quit.
Misunderstanding Of A Job Position
"I used to work night audit/front desk at a motel adjacent to major highways. It was a super chill job, I loved my boss, and it was cool by me."
"But God, trying to hire and train someone to take over my hours - once for maternity leave, and then when I was moving away - was a nightmare. One lady claimed to be computer literate, and then tried to use the mouse to physically touch the correct spot on the monitor when I asked her to click on a field. Another got extremely confused when I mentioned that sleeping with a guest was completely out of bounds. A guy got arrested (and fired of course) for selling drugs to someone out the night window. It was just an absolute sh*t show."
"Before I moved, I gave my boss a 2-month notice, because I knew hiring and training was gonna be a nightmare. About a week before my final shift, we finally got someone in place. She was more than a bit strange and could certainly have used a spot of mental health care, but hey, I can't throw stones. She showed up, grasped the basics of the job, etc. About a week after I left, I learned that she had quit because she didn't realize that night audit was a purely overnight job."
"Idk."
– 50EffingCabbages
The Newbie's Assigned Task
"He didn’t get fired, he quit. But this dude was a first day hire as a bagger at a grocery store. Some dude blew up the entire bathroom with diarrhea. Walls, doors, sink, mirror, everywhere. They asked new dude to go clean it. He clocked out and never came back. He’s a hero."
– mrmastomas
I briefly worked for an entertainment company as a dancer with a friend of mine who was unfortunately let go during the rehearsal process.
He was unable to keep up with the demanding rehearsal schedule and couldn't retain the mass amount of choreography we were being taught in a short amount of time.
Poor guy wasn't even a slacker. As a matter of fact, he far exceeded my dancing capabilities and was hard-working, but he let himself get in the way and couldn't handle the pressure.
But by letting him go, the production company took a hit because teaching a new-hire everything from the beginning slowed us down more than the time it would've taken to help my friend memorize the choreography.
Sigh...
Some people remain best friends with the same friends they made in preschool, or earlier.
Other friendships fade away, as people move on with their lives and lose touch.
But even if these people don't see each other as often as they once did, they would still likely consider themselves "friends", and would be happy should their paths ever cross again.
There are some friendships, however, which do not stand the test of time.
What's more, in some extreme cases, these friendships ended because of a very pointed decision by one or more people.
What some might even consider a "breakup."
"Have you ever 'broken up' with a friend? Why, and what was the aftermath?"
Not The People They Once Were
"I stopped hanging out with all my friends because they all changed."
"They were nothing like how they were when I met them."
"I looked at them as my brothers but they've become what we all swore to never become and dragged me into it."
"Nothing but doing drugs, selling drugs, robbing people."
"I just decided to walk away before I became exactly like them and moved on with my life."
"I wish they could be how they once were but I know that isn't gonna happen."- SuddenCheesecake3273
Lack Of Reciprocity
"Yeah I realized my 'Treat others the way you want to be treated' approach was one-sided."
"I helped someone through some real rough patches, and when I went through some dark times they were nowhere to be seen."- fuifui_bradbrad
"Pretty much all of my high school friends and some other friends I met through work or mutual friends."
"I kept feeling like it was a 'one way' friendship."
"I would be the one texting them to hang out but I would never get texts from them to hang out."- GoldenGod48
Unervalued
"I recently cut off my childhood best friend because he views me as an ATM."
"I don't care about money."
"If I can help someone out, I will with 0 hesitation, but I refuse to be taken advantage of."
"My breaking point was when he was finalizing his wedding party and told me that I was a backup groomsmen in case anyone cancels."
"We've known each other since we were 10 years old and have always kept contact even when he moved away, but I'm not important enough to be one of the first people considered to be there."
"During that same conversation, he said that he'd still expect me to attend and hinted at wanting a cash gift from me."
"We haven't spoken in a couple of months, and I hope that trend continues for the foreseeable future."- morganfreenomorph
No Room For Negativity
"Had a buddy in school who was a really nice guy but the absolute most negative person ever."
"Everything was bad and awful, never ever stopped complaining."
"Walked into the library - too cold, walked outside, too hot, standing in the atrium - windows 15 feet up were dusty, lights inside were too blue but the wooden desks made things too yellow."
"Never stopped."
"School was stressful enough and eventually I changed my study group and location so I want around him and I just felt a whole lot better and light and happy."
"Sometimes you have to be selfish and say that if things/people aren’t making your life better, cut them out."- Dr_D-R-E
Manipulative Influence
"Man I'd called my brother since we were 5 (we're 28 now)."
"He was one of the cool kids and stayed my friend (the socially awkward weird kid)."
"Joined the marines after school, came home, and met a girl who had a kid."
"We drifted apart here and there from 21-25 but still kept contact and hung out once in a blue moon."
"I asked him to be my best man."
"He obviously said yes."
"His S/O didn't like me."
"At the time, I didn't know why."
"My wedding starts to near, i text him telling him we REAAALLLY need to go get fitted for tuxes, get a text a day or so later essentially saying he was out because of xyz."
"This was very out of character for him."
"Time passes."
"My wife and I celebrated our 1st anniversary."
"I'm outside doing stuff in the driveway, a guy that i don't even recognize walks up."
"It's him."
"We talk for a minute, and he starts breaking down, grabbing him, and we go inside."
"We talked for a while. In short he was at a mental breaking point, constantly manipulated by his now fiancé, wont let him get a job because 'she needed him at home to help her anxiety'."
"I offered him an out, gave him a place to stay as long as he needed and gave him a vehicle to drive in the mean time."
"Offered to get him a job with a good friend of mine."
"He stayed with me for a couple of days, his SO shut his debit card off, shut his phone service off, etc."
"But she would turn his phone back on to torment him."
"He came and went from my place a couple of times over those next couple of months."
"But he was stuck in an abusive relationship."
"He kept going back to his abuser."
"Telling me shed claim I did all sorts of stuff."
"Then i came home, and he and his stuff were gone."
"I texted him a day or two later, just saying, 'You good buddy?'"
"Got a text back saying how 'he couldn't hang out with me anymore and didn't like how we talked about SO when we were together, and how awful it was that we would ever do that'."
"This was written by his SO without a shred of doubt."
"The last thing I texted him was 'I don't know if i believe all that based on our conversations, but like I've said 100 times, I just want you happy and healthy if thats what it takes, then thats what it takes, you know where I'm at if you need anything, love ya dude'."
"If you're out there brother, if you read this, I miss the f*ck out of you."
"I worry about you regularly."
"Stop by, please."
"F*ck you Kaitlyn, i wish nothing but the worst for you."
"You're a shrewd cold woman and do not deserve the man or the perfect life you plaster on social media."- Theebalz106
Who Was Bringing Who Down?
"Had a buddy who was hanging out with some guys at coffee shops and they'd discuss philosophy, poetry and current events (we were in our late 20s)."
'At any rate one day he gets a call from one of the guys and my buddy asks me to go with him and we'll grab a bite afterwards."
"So we walk in and the guy is seated in a chair facing the couch."
"I jokingly asked if this was an intervention."
"Guy proceeded to tell my friend that they could no longer be friends because he needs people who will elevate him."
"In the midst of this very snarky monologue my friend looks at me and smiles awkwardly and was like 'you hungry?'"
"We stand up and leave."
"My friend is a now a c-suite employee and that guy who 'broke up' with him is still working a min wage job, been married several times and is barely holding his life together."
"Was just so...random."
"I can still remember the room and what we were wearing and the look on my friend's face when he realized what was happening and we left."- Ok-Bus1716
Friend, Not Servant
"My dear friend dumped me because I couldn’t do her anymore favors."
"She pushed off my visit a couple of times so I just quit trying."
"I almost lost my job because I had to pick up her daughter from school."
"I told her I couldn’t do it anymore."
"Kind of relieved because I was tired of always doing favors."- GingerJanMarie
Sadly Inevitable
"I got into a fight (over text) with a friend whom I had been walking on eggshells around for years."
"Unfortunately my best was involved because she was a part of the group message."
"My best friend didn’t talk to me for months."
"It broke my heart."
"The other friend as soon as I cussed her out and blocked her I felt a weight lift from my shoulders."
"My best friend eventually started talking to me again."
"So a happy ending."- Lazy_Enthusiasm25
"Best friends from elementary school through college (my college not hers)."
"Found out in college that she was lying about things to take advantage of me financially."
"My grandparents had left me some money that should have paid for my entire college including living expenses."
"Instead I worked through college and lived with my parents and also took out student loans."
"For instance I paid her rent for an entire year before she got evicted anyway because she was blowing the money I gave her on random stuff."
"While I was helping her clear her stuff out before they changed the locks I overheard her parents comment about how they had been paying her rent this entire time too."
"Or once she came to borrow money from me at work saying she bounced a check at her job and she was going to fired unless she paid it back."
"I got off work to a message from another mutual friend saying that they had gone to the movies and seen something we'd planned to watch together then clothes shopping but we could go see something else that weekend."
"She never did cover the bounced check and did lose her job and get a warrant out for her arrest."
"It wasn't just me it was everybody she did this to."
"Like at one point, she lived with her mom who was supporting her 3 siblings, and took the mom's car overnight and used an entire tank of gas to drive to another town to go clubbing, and the mother had to beg a neighbor for enough gas money to get to work."
"She also dropped out of college the first week of the first semester but never formally withdrew so her parents were still on the hook for the entire semester of fees, and she had a 0 GPA."
"I finally told her that I wouldn't give her any more money or pay for her when we went places."
"If she wanted to be friends, she needed to pull her own weight."
"Shortly before the fallout, I'd introduced her to my cousin who was bemoaning his religious gf's unwillingness to 'put out'."
"Within 2 weeks she slept with my cousin then told him she was pregnant and he needed to do the right thing and marry her."
"Once he told his parents they were engaged she told him that she lost the pregnancy but he couldn't call off the engagement without telling his super religious parents that the whole thing was because of a pregnancy scare."
"They did end up getting married."
"She talked him into enlisting in the military since she had previously commented about how unfair it is military wives don't have to work, that supporting their husbands is their only job."
"They've had 3 kids she does nothing for, her mother moved in to take care of them for her and his parents supplement his income so they can afford housing."
"She hasn't held a steady job since they've been together."
"So I've been avoiding him and her both for 15 years and get all the drama second hand from our mutual cousins (and his sister) who all hate her!"- misoranomegami
A friend is someone who is always there for you, and who you'll always be there for in return.
Any friend, however, who only brings you down is not a friend at all.
And sometimes, the only way to forgive and move on, is to let go.