
The longer one lives, the more they know this to be true: human life is fragile. Mortality is such a scary, crazy reality that we must prepare for on a day-to-day basis, as we could easily be here one day and gone the next.
But not all ways to go out are created equal. There are the things you can't control--like a stroke, or a health condition, or even an accident. But then there are the things you could have avoided doing but chose to do anyway, putting you and others around you in danger in the process.
"What is the stupidest way you almost died?"
Here were some of those answers.
On The Dark Side Of The Moon
"I was at a Pink Floyd concert at the old Tampa Stadium, was going to get a beer. I got crushed against a wall, at the bottom of a stairway, when a rush of people came up the breezeway."
"I couldn't move, or breathe, probably 100 or more people in a log jam. I'm not a big person, started to panic, looked up and a guy looked over the rail above me."
"He started yelling to me to reach for his hand, he leaned way over and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Like 8 or 9 feet, and over the rail."
"Took a few minutes to get a breath he had the security guy get the medic to check me over. Freaky close to a very bad ending."-indelady
Lubed To Death
"A dealership I worked at had two man teams for the lube rack. Well I was a lube tech at the time. I was setting the lift on a full sized pickup when my team mate started raising the lift."
"My head got caught between the lift and the frame. Thankfully someone saw me and screamed at him to stop. I was seconds from getting my head popped like a tomato."-MET90LX
Don't Go In If You Can't Swim!
"My homies autistic brother was in the deep end of a wave pool (he can't swim) without floaties. So he called for help and I jumped in. As I was trying to swim with one hand and carry him with the other, I heard the siren for the big wave that happens every few minutes."
"So I tried to quickly swim away but it caught up and pushed us under. I accidentally tried to breathe and that put quite bit of water in me."
"Just then I felt someone grab me and pull me out of the water. It was my homie. And he also grabbed his brother. So after I threw up a bunch of water and rested a bit, I realized that I almost died in a wave pool."-Leo_crap
What were you thinking when you tried this?!
Inertia
"I was at a Waterpark in Texas with one of those super tall, straight down slides. They had multiple signs saying things like 'DO NOT PUSH OFF BEFORE SLIDING DOWN!'"
"Me being an 18 year old idiot and wanting to race my friend, I decided to push off. That extra push started my slow-motion, airborne flight over the slide."
"I was then staring 100ft down at concrete and my other friend who had his jaw open. What felt like minutes later, I smacked back down onto the slide and made my way down to the bottom. Thank God for the engineers that planned for suicidal idiots like myself."-cmoorecubs
The Slow Descent Below The Surface
"I was at Lake Bled in Slovenia and thought I could easily swim the distance between the shore and the island in the middle with the church on it."
"Boy was I wrong... about halfway I started getting exhausted and had trouble staying afloat. Then my body kicked into survival mode, the adrenaline started pumping, and I Michael Phelps'd the rest of the way to the island."
"I ended up paying 5 Euros to have a boat take me back to shore after that harrowing experience."-PrometheusHasFallen
Death By A Fog Effect
"I walked into a back room freezer of a grocery store. The huge door was designed to close automatically. I knew this and went in and did what I was there to do."
"After 30 seconds, I couldn't catch my breath. I thought maybe I was just working too hard so I stopped and took several huge breaths, nothing. I felt like I was drowning out of water."
"I had to move as quickly as I could back outside of the freezer and feel to my knees gasping when I got out. It was only afterwards I realized for some dumb reason someone kept open dry ice in a cart inside of the freezer."
"Dry ice removes oxygen out of the air in enclosed spaces. I almost died from lack of oxygen and would have been an icicle when they found me. Don't f**k with dry ice."-bdx22
People Who Work In Remote Places Share Creepiest Things They've Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Wandering Into The Road
"I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was getting off the school bus and was walking around to the other side to my driveway. Suddenly the bus driver hits the horn, scared the hell out of me and I stopped at the edge of the front of a bus and a dump truck good speeding around."
"I dunno if the dump truck driver didn't see the lights of the bus or whatever but that driver made a dumb mistake that could have cost me my life."
"Thinking about it my older sister was up at our driveway waiting for me, probably would have messed her up for life. After that the school district changed bus routes to avoid students having to cross the road to get on or off the bus."-Psyco_diver
It is the definition of luck that any of these people are still with us after these blunders.
Coral Trauma
"I was snorkeling with sea turtles in Taiwan and didn't notice I was getting too close to the coral shelf that made up the shore (there was one sandy inlet which you needed to use to get in and out)."
"A big wave came and threw me on top of the sharp coral. I was entirely disoriented and wave after wave was just smashing on me and jostling me which could potentially get me stuck and drowned in any number of little crevices."
"After what was probably 30 seconds but felt like 5 minutes I managed to compose myself enough to start crawling away. I walked away with some scratches and a missing bootie."
"I also accidentally left my passport in the bathroom of the visitor center immediately after. Imma blame the trauma."-SafetyNoodle
A Rough Mom Time
"Went to go visit a friend in Gloucester Mass in winter back in high school far from my home. I was planning on staying overnight at their house but their mother who I now know has mental health problems wouldn't even let me in the house because the father 'wasn't home' working a night shift."
"Friend said sorry bro and closed the door. Almost froze to death waiting outside in 10 degree F at night. A cab driver saw me slumped on a bench and woke me up."
"Let me get warm and drive around in the passenger seat while he picked up drunk people out on the town all night. When he finished his shift he dropped me off at the train station and handed me 7 bucks for the fare. Dude probably saved my life and I can't even remember his name."-kdubbsd
Lucky To Survive--Twice!
"I didn't look before I crossed the street. Walked backwards while talking to my friend and got hit by a van."
"I wasnt wearing my medic alert bracelet to warn the paramedics and hospital that I'm allergic to demorol, because 'it looks dumb and gets caught on my backpack, besides what are the chances I'd ever be given that?'"
"The chances, it turns out, are pretty good if you get hit by a van going full speed hard enough to nearly rip your foot off at the ankle."
"I survived. 7 surgeries to patch me back up. Was comatose for a little bit. Had some blood transfusions. Massive amounts of physiotherapy."
"Look both ways and wear your medic alerts folks!"-Abalone_Admirable
Did any of these look familiar to you? Are you, too, a survivor of your own stupidity?
Or have you thus far lived life conscientiously enough to completely avoid bad and dangerous situations like these? Hopefully, you will continue to do so. Live long, and look before you leap.
Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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