People Describe The Dumbest Ways They've Almost Died

The longer one lives, the more they know this to be true: human life is fragile. Mortality is such a scary, crazy reality that we must prepare for on a day-to-day basis, as we could easily be here one day and gone the next.

But not all ways to go out are created equal. There are the things you can't control--like a stroke, or a health condition, or even an accident. But then there are the things you could have avoided doing but chose to do anyway, putting you and others around you in danger in the process.

Redditor u/goosearms asked:

"What is the stupidest way you almost died?"

Here were some of those answers.

On The Dark Side Of The Moon

"I was at a Pink Floyd concert at the old Tampa Stadium, was going to get a beer. I got crushed against a wall, at the bottom of a stairway, when a rush of people came up the breezeway."

"I couldn't move, or breathe, probably 100 or more people in a log jam. I'm not a big person, started to panic, looked up and a guy looked over the rail above me."

"He started yelling to me to reach for his hand, he leaned way over and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Like 8 or 9 feet, and over the rail."

"Took a few minutes to get a breath he had the security guy get the medic to check me over. Freaky close to a very bad ending."-indelady

Lubed To Death

"A dealership I worked at had two man teams for the lube rack. Well I was a lube tech at the time. I was setting the lift on a full sized pickup when my team mate started raising the lift."

"My head got caught between the lift and the frame. Thankfully someone saw me and screamed at him to stop. I was seconds from getting my head popped like a tomato."-MET90LX

Don't Go In If You Can't Swim!

"My homies autistic brother was in the deep end of a wave pool (he can't swim) without floaties. So he called for help and I jumped in. As I was trying to swim with one hand and carry him with the other, I heard the siren for the big wave that happens every few minutes."

"So I tried to quickly swim away but it caught up and pushed us under. I accidentally tried to breathe and that put quite bit of water in me."

"Just then I felt someone grab me and pull me out of the water. It was my homie. And he also grabbed his brother. So after I threw up a bunch of water and rested a bit, I realized that I almost died in a wave pool."-Leo_crap

What were you thinking when you tried this?!


"I was at a Waterpark in Texas with one of those super tall, straight down slides. They had multiple signs saying things like 'DO NOT PUSH OFF BEFORE SLIDING DOWN!'"

"Me being an 18 year old idiot and wanting to race my friend, I decided to push off. That extra push started my slow-motion, airborne flight over the slide."

"I was then staring 100ft down at concrete and my other friend who had his jaw open. What felt like minutes later, I smacked back down onto the slide and made my way down to the bottom. Thank God for the engineers that planned for suicidal idiots like myself."-cmoorecubs

The Slow Descent Below The Surface

"I was at Lake Bled in Slovenia and thought I could easily swim the distance between the shore and the island in the middle with the church on it."

"Boy was I wrong... about halfway I started getting exhausted and had trouble staying afloat. Then my body kicked into survival mode, the adrenaline started pumping, and I Michael Phelps'd the rest of the way to the island."

"I ended up paying 5 Euros to have a boat take me back to shore after that harrowing experience."-PrometheusHasFallen

Death By A Fog Effect

"I walked into a back room freezer of a grocery store. The huge door was designed to close automatically. I knew this and went in and did what I was there to do."

"After 30 seconds, I couldn't catch my breath. I thought maybe I was just working too hard so I stopped and took several huge breaths, nothing. I felt like I was drowning out of water."

"I had to move as quickly as I could back outside of the freezer and feel to my knees gasping when I got out. It was only afterwards I realized for some dumb reason someone kept open dry ice in a cart inside of the freezer."

"Dry ice removes oxygen out of the air in enclosed spaces. I almost died from lack of oxygen and would have been an icicle when they found me. Don't f**k with dry ice."-bdx22

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Wandering Into The Road

"I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was getting off the school bus and was walking around to the other side to my driveway. Suddenly the bus driver hits the horn, scared the hell out of me and I stopped at the edge of the front of a bus and a dump truck good speeding around."

"I dunno if the dump truck driver didn't see the lights of the bus or whatever but that driver made a dumb mistake that could have cost me my life."

"Thinking about it my older sister was up at our driveway waiting for me, probably would have messed her up for life. After that the school district changed bus routes to avoid students having to cross the road to get on or off the bus."-Psyco_diver

It is the definition of luck that any of these people are still with us after these blunders.

Coral Trauma

"I was snorkeling with sea turtles in Taiwan and didn't notice I was getting too close to the coral shelf that made up the shore (there was one sandy inlet which you needed to use to get in and out)."

"A big wave came and threw me on top of the sharp coral. I was entirely disoriented and wave after wave was just smashing on me and jostling me which could potentially get me stuck and drowned in any number of little crevices."

"After what was probably 30 seconds but felt like 5 minutes I managed to compose myself enough to start crawling away. I walked away with some scratches and a missing bootie."

"I also accidentally left my passport in the bathroom of the visitor center immediately after. Imma blame the trauma."-SafetyNoodle

A Rough Mom Time

"Went to go visit a friend in Gloucester Mass in winter back in high school far from my home. I was planning on staying overnight at their house but their mother who I now know has mental health problems wouldn't even let me in the house because the father 'wasn't home' working a night shift."

"Friend said sorry bro and closed the door. Almost froze to death waiting outside in 10 degree F at night. A cab driver saw me slumped on a bench and woke me up."

"Let me get warm and drive around in the passenger seat while he picked up drunk people out on the town all night. When he finished his shift he dropped me off at the train station and handed me 7 bucks for the fare. Dude probably saved my life and I can't even remember his name."-kdubbsd

Lucky To Survive--Twice!

"I didn't look before I crossed the street. Walked backwards while talking to my friend and got hit by a van."

"I wasnt wearing my medic alert bracelet to warn the paramedics and hospital that I'm allergic to demorol, because 'it looks dumb and gets caught on my backpack, besides what are the chances I'd ever be given that?'"

"The chances, it turns out, are pretty good if you get hit by a van going full speed hard enough to nearly rip your foot off at the ankle."

"I survived. 7 surgeries to patch me back up. Was comatose for a little bit. Had some blood transfusions. Massive amounts of physiotherapy."

"Look both ways and wear your medic alerts folks!"-Abalone_Admirable

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