I truly think that to become a parent, you need to take some sort of class or pass a test first. So many parents make the dumbest mistakes, and unfortunately, the kids of those parents sometimes pass that stupidity down to their own kids. The circle of life. However, there are kids out there that are there to stop the parents in their tracks
Here are some crazy, stupid stories from the sons and daughters of Reddit. Enjoy it, or at least try not to cringe.
First off are the things that are just plane unsafe. These parents are lucky they didn’t get hurt.
My dad texted me a few months ago and said that he found mushrooms in his back yard, and that they were magic mushrooms because when he bruised them, the flesh turned blue. That obviously meant that they were safe. He used to do a ton of drugs when he was young.
I quickly told him not to do that, Googled an article about mushrooms, and sent it to him straight away.
I had to convince my 68-year-old father to not consume strange blue mushrooms in his backyard because then he would f*cking die.
You’ll shoot your eye out!A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy
I love my dad, but he is not safe with bb guns. He looked down the barrel of one once when it was cocked and loaded.
Just last week I had to lecture my 60 yr old father after he took his new little handheld pellet gun and shot at the stop sign, ended up hitting the neighbors house. Thank goodness it didn't hit a window but still, you cannot go to the road, point a black hand gun at someone's home, fire and expect no one to be upset! I don't care if it's just a pellet gun! He's so lucky they didn't see and call the cops. I hate to say it but it's white privilege at its best.
People Break Down The Best Loophole They've Ever Exploited
Please go to the hospital!
Not to stay home and not go to the hospital after falling on the ice and getting knocked out for a couple hours.
"But I don't have insurance!" she complained, as her main reason. Mom, you should have insurance. At your age? Yeah, you need insurance.
I really can't convince her to go to the hospital in general if she has a medical issue that needs to be checked out. It's a 10-minute drive from her house and yet I can't convince her to go into her car and drive herself there. It's kind of sad, since many other people have to make the same decision: go see the doc and pay tons of money, or live with the affliction because you can't afford it?
It’s amazing how often older people get scammed. Luckily, they have their kids to save them.
Stay away from MLMs and pyramid schemes!!!
I have TWICE had to talk my dad into not giving money to a pyramid scheme. He's not a dumb man, he just gets really desperate and hopeful. There's nothing sadder than having to poke holes in an old man's dream.
I was able to stop my mom from investing in the preacher's investment vehicles once but as soon as I moved away he scammed her out of 12k. He sold her on a stupid "inspired" selection of funds that went tits up within 8 months. Church preachers are super predatory people and I still don't understand how my mom could believe that a man who had no financial literacy or college education and was "reformed" meth addict was trustworthy.
We need Kitboga...internet asl GIF by Wet CementGiphy
I walked in as my dad was on the phone with someone after his computer got that stupid pop up that he had a virus and needed to call someone to fix it over the phone. I'm honestly terrified of how susceptible my parents seem to be to scammers.
My mom's friend did this. It said she had a virus and to call the number. She called and they told her for a mere $400 she could get year long virus protection on her computer. She paid with her credit card. My mom thinks she had doubts right after paying and that's why she called her. She bragged about the new awesome virus protection she'd gotten. My mom told her it was a scam and that she needed to call her credit card company. She didn't believe her. She called more friends, one who was a computer expert, and they all told her it was a scam. She admitted her mistake and called her credit card company. She's normally very smart but not with computers. Unfortunately, she died of Covid this year. No one is sure how she got it.
That is absolutely insane.
My bio dad almost handed over his patent rights to a woman who is conning him $300+ a month for spiritual advice. She's seriously wanted him to sign a contract where she would receive royalties from him for guidance counseling. To break the contract she could choose the gross profit of any 3 months and he would be required to pay 25x that amount. It took the entire family threatening to disavow him if he continued to speak with that woman for him to finally break ties.
Thank goodness his kid is there to protect him.
I had to cry and beg my father not to let his thieving "girlfriend" move in with him. At the time I didn't know she'd literally stolen from him (although he DID know.) I thought she was just a constant source of stress, who he kept giving money to for various outlandish "emergencies."
Later, he admitted that she'd stolen valuable items from his house. Eventually, he wised up and filed charges. He's in a much better place now.
And of course, sometimes we have to prevent our parents from making the dumbest life decisions.
It’s high school romance all over again.Confused Cbs GIF by Paramount+Giphy
Updating their relationship Facebook status to "It's complicated" anytime they would fight over something as little as what to order for dinner.
And then when people ask about it they're like "I don't want to talk about it, please respect my privacy".
Elderly mother with Crohn's disease, also very religious, had to convince her not to resume fasting for Lent after she had intestinal issues from something that she did eat... she's 85, it's not an obligation to fast at her age and in her condition. Oi yoi yoi.
Had to convince my dad that cheating on my mom for the second time was a bad idea. Came downstairs to hear him talking on the phone in the living room and saying things along the lines of "well it'd just be nice to have someone to spend time with".
He heard me come downstairs and decided to take the phone call outside. The dumb*ss thought that he'd be out a earshot just by closing the screen door to our patio. That sh*t ignited a flame within me so I just sat there at our kitchen table for him to come back inside. Once he did so, I simply asked him, "What in the f*ck was that?"
To which he had the audacity to act as if I was the a**hole for calling him out. He then spent the next ten minutes trying to justify his actions. Needless to say that I've lost a lot of respect for my father, especially when he tries to portray himself as a man of God. There's no forgiveness for something like that. I made the mistake of forgiving him the first time he cheated on my mother, but luckily I caught him before he tried to do it again.
It's insane how susceptible the older generations can be to things like this. Sometimes it's the kids that have to teach the parents, rather than the other way around.
This is definitely a universal experience. Luckily, they have us to make sure they don't get scammed or hurt.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....