Pets are the actual best. My cat Aurora is objectively the cutest cat in the world (yes, objectively), and I can't get through the day without watching her zoom around the house. She knocks a lot of stuff over, but she has the charm to back it up.
Aurora isn't the only cute animal out there. So many pets outdo themselves every day with how adorable they are. Here are a few stories from the pet owners of Reddit.
U/clickstorm7 asked: What's the cutest thing your pet has done?
Always gotta start with the pups. Doggos are almost always huge hams, and always make for great stories.
Boop!
My brother's dog was laying in the stairs yesterday. My parent's stairs have a gap in the railing bars. Big enough to stick my face through.
So as I was walking by I stuck my face in to talk to the dog.
He ever so gingerly bopped me in the nose with his nose. Too cute.
They’re such funny sleepers.
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My dog has a funny bedtime ritual; he has to circle my laundry rack three times before we go to bed at night, and then he grabs his stuffy, lays on the bed with it and makes little weird soft screamy noises at it, then holds it in his mouth and kneads the bed like a cat making biscuits, huffing softly until he falls asleep. I have no idea why this is required but it is.
Edit: I also had a foster dog for a while. My other dog got a multipack of 15 antler chews, and foster dog took them upstairs to my bed one by one and stuffed them under the covers, and the sound of getting into bed was like a medieval ossuary.
Creeper pupper.
My schnauzer 100% reacts to and can emulate laughing. My wolfhounds can't. They can play, they can indicate play, they can show submission, but my schnauzer 100% understands laughter. She knows how to encourage it, how to react to it, and that it's a positive thing.
I’m a cat person, so I’m really excited to share these cat stories.
A good big brother.
I have three cats and the oldest one is a very grumpy old man sometimes. He doesn't like change. I was genuinely worried how he was going to adjust to us bringing home newborn twins. But from day one those have been his babies.
They're 8 months old now. This cat has tried to push them in their swings when they were crying, he snuggles up next to them when they're fussy, and he'll even encourage them to use him as a bottle prop so their hands are free to grab at him despite their not yet having any idea of the concept of "gentle".
I love old man cats.
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He purrs. Like all the time.
He's an old man now so he doesn't move around much. Since I started working from home, he just sits on my bed and purrs while he watches me at my desk.
He'll gets extra excited and start wheezing when I get close or pick him up because he's purring so loud.
But the cutest? Before he takes a nap he'll curl into a fluffy purring ball, then let out a single sigh before closing his eyes and going to sleep.
EDIT: He's purring in his sleep right now. It's going in and out because he's snoring. The cuteness. I can't.
Sweet baby.
My cat (then a very tiny kitten--he was a rescue from the yard and we never found mom) laid on my face after my wisdom tooth surgery and batted my husband away every time he tried to get close. They've worked out their differences now that he's not a baby anymore and my husband is his "day" person and I'm his "night" person.
What’s a nice hat.
My cat likes to sleep directly on my pillow right above my head. Like a cat toupee. I guess we keep each other warm that way, but I like waking up and seeing his little nose. He's super affectionate and I'm lucky to have him.
Although cuteness does exist in all animals. They’re all perfect in every way.
Snakes can boop too!!!
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My son has an 8-month-old corn snake. When we pick her up, she likes to stretch out and bump her nose against human noses. My daughter calls that a "snakey nose boop."
Awwwww.
I have a green cheek conure (type of small parrot for those who don't know). He can speak quite a bit. "I love you." "What's that?" "Peekaboo!" "It's okay." "No." "Time to go to bed." and "Wanna take a bath" among other phrases.
One night I woke up probably near 1 am because he had a nightmare (I assume?) and started screaming. I opened the cage, picked him up, and put him on my shoulder. I started scritching his head and whispering "it's okay."
After a moment of silence, he said in the most tender voice: "I love you."
If y'all need a bird tax, I have some videos of him in my post history.
Give the girl some gummy sharks!!!
Try to steal my candy. One day I was sitting down playing video games while munching on some gummy sharks. My iguana jumps on my lap and starts eating them. I let her have half of one, but none after that. She wasn't happy with that, and chased me around while I found a place to hide them where she couldn't get into.
One thing is for sure- humanity is blessed to have pets, and we definitely don’t deserve them.
A good older sibling.
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I brought home a blind kitten. When I let him out of quarantine, my older cat walked side by side with him around the perimeter of my home. I'm pretty sure Gabey was showing the kitten the layout of the house.
Ashley is a good kitty.
My kitty will demand a treat and then when I'm about to go down stairs; she will lay on the stairs, wagging her tail, making little meow noises and will only move if you say, "Ashley treat?"
She will also go and lay across our shoes when she knows we are leaving for a bit.
My favourite is when she attacks my fiancé wrapping her legs around him and pretends to scratch and bite him, but her claws never come out and she never actually bites. She is very protective of him and will "guard" him when someone is in the condo fixing something, usually growling. I laugh because he is 6'6 290lbs of muscle and a 10lb kitty is all "dont you touch my HOOMAN!!"
Cats always know.
My son must have been about 2 and was sick for a couple says, nothing serious but he had a fever. He fell asleep on the couch, and my (then) 13-year-old cat cuddled up right beside him and started purring. She stayed there until he woke up a few hours later. It's like she knew he didn't feel good and was trying to make it better.
What a sweet, trusting pup.
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My dog trust falls. I've had her since she was a puppy and have held her a lot and never dropped her. Now she's 50 pounds and reaches up for me to pick her up and will fall backward onto me so I rub her belly.
Congrats, you now speak cat.
My cat was 17 and geriatric. She had a lot of experience being a cat and was spoiled. She got whatever she asked for. My bathroom door and my bedroom door share the same corner basically. I laid down some pest repellent and had to keep her out of the room for a while.
I was standing at the toilet taking a leak when she walks up to the bedroom door, looked at me until I looked at her, and nose booped the door asking me to open it. I tried to explain to her I couldn't let her in, but she didn't know English. She tried and tried, but I wouldn't open the door.
This cat.. I swear.. she walks into the bathroom and walks over to the laundry hamper sitting against the wall. She stands there and stares at the wall for a second, Then she looks at me to make sure I'm looking. And she nose boops the hamper where it meets the wall, then looks at me. I stand there puzzled and ask her "What are you doing? What do you want?" So she boops it again. Eventually I just pull the hamper out away from the wall to make a space. She squeezes through the space, comes out the other side, and walks directly back to the bedroom door without pause and nose boops the door again.
This cat just communicated to me. She established a signal with me as a means of communicating, then used it to communicate.
As for Aurora, the cutest thing I see her do is hang out with our two corn snakes. She'll sit on top of the cage and watch them all day long. I mean, she probably wants to eat them, but we ignore that.
Give your pets a hug today!!! They're the best.
Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.
Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.
U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?
Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.
Was it worth it?
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He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.
> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'
> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended
> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended
> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended
Uhhh what was the intention here?
He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.
Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.
Boom theret.
At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."
So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.
I hope there was no overlap in the columns.
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She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.
2 separate lists or just the 1?
Same list 2 columns lol.
Holy crap.
Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.
This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.
Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.
Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.
Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.
A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.
Every school had the cat girl.
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The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.
Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.
Mood.
Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.
I was exactly this kind of weird.
He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.
The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.
I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man
Those who work behind bars meet people from all walks of life and hear a variety of unusual anecdotes.
I never worked as a bartender, but I know they get an earful from babbling patrons who have had one too many to drink.
Curious to hear about the wild life stories shared at bars, Reddit xXSlimi_Gacha009 asked:
"Bartenders of reddit, what was the weirdest/craziest thing you have overheard while making someone's drink?"
Attention Seekers
Patrons say the darnedest things.
Bobby
"The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said 'you wanna pet my parrot?' my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around... It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrots name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him 😂"
– Midiblye
Sales Pitch
"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces 'Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality...'. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn't allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."
Favorite A**hole Bartender
"Regular of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change."
"I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar."
"Recently in the news someone hadn't had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off..."
"So I jokingly say, 'you're that f'king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?'"
"The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me."
"My regular starts laughing..."
"Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn't apologize, because as his favorite a**hole bartender those comments were expected of me."
"Poor guy was only 20 couple and blew his leg off close to the hip. No idea how he survived."
Murder Plot
"I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon)."
"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it."
"Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted."
"It was actually an episode of 'Forensic Files' back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like 'the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.' I was kind of upset that they didn't mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, 'The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn't really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked 'Is this him?' as if he was unsure. What a f"king dope.'"
"Edit 1: I spent half of the day reading the descriptions of every episode that's streaming on Netflix and watching the ones that seemed relevant. I didn't figure it out and I'm sorry, but I just don't know which episode it was. I recorded it on a VHS tape years ago, but don't know where that is either. I'm moving, so if I come across it, I'll edit this and let everyone know which one it was."
"Edit 2: As I recall, the hitman wasn't a professional by any means. I think the episode said he was just a local junkie who'd pretty much do anything for his next fix."
– Myzyri
Extremely Random
The following conversations were undoubtedly head-turners.
Poop-Blocked
"From a woman to her friend, 'I don't know about you but I just can't poop in a pink bathroom.'"
Proud Pecker
"Someone was boasting about his 'Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!' he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend 🤷♀️"
Couples
Passions are inflamed where alcohol is in the mix.
Ferris Wheel Payment
"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn't pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they'd ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who's collection was due at 8am the following morning."
That's Amore
"Man and woman is sitting at the bar. She starts crying and says 'I just want us to have something special'. The guy looked her dead in the eyes and said 'we do have something special, we have sex. We are both married'. 10 minutes later they are making out and she's rubbing him over his pants. I loved slow Wednesdays."
I'm a cheap date.
So whenever I'm halfway through my first – and usually ONLY – glass of cab sav at a bar, I know I'm talking in a stream of consciousness and volunteering embarrassing personal information.
Once, I confided to all the patrons and staff at a bar in Barcelona, France, about my embarrassing college experience. And I apparently gave a wild performance when the DJ played Prince's "Kiss."
I'm still searching this subReddit to see if any of the comments might be referring to me.