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People Describe The Craziest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them

Fact can sometimes be stranger than fiction, but there's got to be a limit, right?

Right?!

Reddit user LittleHopeBandit asked:

"What is something completely real that happened in your life that others would think sounds like bullsh*t?"

Sometimes Panic Works

"Was robbed at gun point while sitting in my car, gave the guy the trash that was in my door and he ran away with trash."

-WhatIGot21

"The balls to hand the trash over in the first place lol gun pointed at you and you just handed over the Wendy's."

-Vicorin

"I didn’t even realize what I was doing, just glad I didn’t crap my pants."

"Funny thing is I was 20 years old and this happened out front of a liquor store where I was waiting for my 21 year old girlfriend to come out, she came out about 15 seconds after the guy ran off and she didn’t believe me when I told her what happened as I was getting out of there as fast as I could."

-WhatIGot21

Animal Accidents

"I nearly collided with a low flying swan while jogging. I was not near a lake or river, so I have no idea why the swan was in the area. I turned a corner and saw something white flying in my direction. I thought it was a seagull but realised it was a swan at the last second, forcing me to duck and roll (and then swear really loudly)."

-pajamakitten

"I hit a deer while running. Had to get my leg looked at after and didn't want to tell the doctor what happened."

-Jeb500

What Are The Odds

"I am a dwarf/little person and when I was 17 I applied for a place in an art college. To get in you had to submit a physical portfolio of pieces you had made, usually up to A1 (so pretty damn big). So I went into the school to submit my folio, struggling with my massive folder, when another little person appeared from nowhere and helped me out with it. I’d never met another little person before in my life, so it was quite a surprise. Turned out he was a student currently studying there in filmmaking. So we went through the school, 2 dwarfs who didn’t even know each other, carrying this huge leather folder that was bigger than us through the college campus together."

"Sadly I didn’t get a place there. He seemed like he could have been a good friend!"

-Usidore_

Must Have Been Fate

"Before cell phones I accidentally misdialed a number but got the person i wanted at the wrong number. She was at her uncles house."

-banditk77

Definitely Not Joking

"When I was 10 I was hanging out with this older kid and he suddenly threw me on the ground then tried to stab me. He was on top of me and the knife was a few inches from my face. I was holding his arms back with everything I had then he suddenly got off me and said he was joking then ran away."

-constantly-confused_

Monkey Business

"I live in South Carolina and when I was young I was out in my backyard playing on my swing-set. I heard some unusual rustling in the trees of the woods and looked up to find…a small monkey! I couldn’t believe my eyes and took off running to the house to tell my dad."

"He didn’t believe me right away, but I finally convinced him to come outside to look. When we walked back to my swing-set, we saw not only the monkey, but now, standing underneath the tree, was a man holding a pistol and a woman holding a banana."

"They saw us and the man began to speak. 'If he doesn’t come down, I’ll have to shoot em'. Pretty much right after that, the monkey saw that banana and headed straight down to the woman and sat on her shoulder."

"And that was that, they left and we found out they were our neighbors from five or six houses down."

-CaseyFly

It's A Small World After All

"I once went to a big concert (in Glasgow) with my mum and sister, and a family that we met while on holiday in Spain a few months earlier happened to be sitting right in front of us."

-NiamhHA

Spelling Can Be Important

"I was once hunted down by a detective in a homicide case, but come to find out, he had been tracking the wrong guy because of a clerical error of mistaking a C for a G in my name."

-Current_Narwhal

Always Check The Cassette

"My girlfriend (at the time) loaned out her high school graduation video to another friend. Unbeknownst to the GF, her dad had recorded a porn over the video. Girlfriend’s friend sat down with the fam to watch… well.. not the graduation."

-hyperpolaris

"My brother once left a porn tape in the family VCR, my Mum went to watch the show she'd recorded the night before and, well it wasn't the show she'd recorded. She brought it up over dinner whilst trying her hardest not to laugh, and I think my brother just wanted to crawl under the table and die at that point."

-zerbey

Maybe Don't Fake It

"I faked being sick cos I wanted to get out of school. I was absolutely fine, just didn’t want to do maths and sport. Got picked up, driven home planning on a day lounging on the sofa. But as soon as I stepped foot in the door I threw up. I had a severe gastro- vomiting bug. For like two days straight."

"That was the last time I ever faked being sick."

-OnemoreSavBlanc

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"Unfortunately"

"Walked to work daydreaming about my store getting robbed and me getting shot. About 30 mins after I opened the store a guy come in, stuck a gun in my back and had me go in the office and empty both safes. Unfortunately I didn't get shot."

-kpurdysr

Still A Small World

"I dated the same person for 3 years in High School, when we went to different colleges it eventually didn't work out. While at her college my high school girlfriend joined a sorority and part of the onboarding was being matched with someone random to tell them about yourself and see if you were a match for the sorority. My high school girlfriend was telling her match that she just got out of a 3 year relationship and goes on about me. 5 years later I meet a girl in a different city and we hit it off, after a few dates when we are going over people we both know we realize she was the one who was matched with my high school girlfriend. So the guy she was hearing about all of those years ago was the one she was dating now. We've been married 9 years so far."

Sudden Disappearance

"Watched happen - At a concert in a newish dive venue in Leeds (faster pussycast I think). Guy leans against the wall while lighting a cig. The firedoors open and he falls straight backwards through the hole. Doors then close. His friends start looking around for him."

-81misfit

Poor Pooh Bear

"I was in a small plane crash when I was 4-5 years old. I remember being upside down, think we were somewhere in Arizona."

"They cut my favorite pooh bear shirt off in the hospital, but one of the nurses bought me a new teddy bear because I had left mine in the plane. I kept that teddy bear for years but sadly I don't know where it is anymore..."

-pavioc16

​Maybe Don't Yell Drunkenly Out Of Cars

"Like 8 years ago my mate and got a taxi to McDonald's at like 4 am after going clubbing, we drove past some guy on his way to work and yelled some drunk sh*t out the window to him. We got dropped off 30 seconds later and as soon as we got out of the taxi he sprints towards us and started swinging at us with a machete, we were running backwards and it was missing us by inches. While he was swinging at one of us, the other one punched him in the back of the head. This happened a few times and he ran away."

"We were pretty drunk so we ended up laughing about it in McDonald's, but I still can't believe it happened lol"

-Live-Status-350

Second Chance?

"Backed out of my grandparents driveway quickly, running late to work. Already on the street and saw a huge truck racing towards me too late. I gasped, clutched the wheel, squeezed my eyes shut and slammed on the brake, bracing for the impact. The only thought I had was 'please let me live'. Then… nothing. I peered one eye open , and felt disoriented to see that the car was back in the driveway, as if I hadn’t moved at all."

-Particular_Laugh_738

Dice Miracle

"I threw dice on a craps table, they went all crazy bouncing all over the place, almost falling off the table, then hit each other mid-air, stuck together, landed on the table with one die on top. The top die was spinning as fast as you could imagine for a good two seconds, and then fell off and I hit nine. 5 and a 4. The number I was shooting for. Had max odds. The dealer said he's never seen that and another player said it's something you'd see in a movie. I just wish I had a physics degree so I could make sense of it."

-miseno3231

"Did a lot of physics on my way to a math degree. The explanation is: 'Well, sh*t.'"

-Amiiboid

Physics High

"When I was like 10 I had dropped a ball (a marble I think?) and it had run away the way that round objects do. I decided that the best course of action was to predict where it gone by "calculating" where it went (i.e how it reflected off walls) and I went through a series of fictitious bounces (around like 10 of them) and the ball was right smack where I had predicted it to be."

"I have been chasing that high ever since but physics is taking a mental toll on me."

-Anti-waxxer

More Misdial Miracles

"When I was a kid, I was out playing at the local park with my friends. This was back in the time before everyone had a cell phone, so land lines and payphones were still a thing."

"The payphone stated ringing, after we thought about it because we didn't even know they could do that, I picked it up. It was another one of my friends, calling me. He didn't know I at the park."

"Turns out that payphone had exactly the same number as my house aside from the very last digit was 9 instead of 8. My friend had misdialed the number and through complete coincidence called a payphone about 20 feet where I was, a couple of miles away from my house, and I was the one to pick it up."

-smushkan

UFO

"At a family gathering, outside on a fairly average day (little overcast) we saw a large object come through the clouds from the south(coming in from lake ontario), descend to about 400 ft, hover for a while, turning in place, and eventually take off into the sky almost straight up. It didn't appear to make any specific noise, but everyone seemed to 'feel' it, a sort of low tremor like a very mild earthquake. A few people got ill with motion sickness."

"This would have been approx 1993. the object was reminiscent of a mesopotamian ziggurat only it was very large, even with the perspective tilt, it seemed to be almost a 500m wide.
It was witnessed independently by neighbors, young and old, all in all about 40 people in at least 4 completely separate groups spread out across a 5km area."

"I would not believe anyone who told me this story."

-YeaItsAThrowaway112

Just because something sounds impossible, that doesn't mean it didn't actually happen. Reality is truly strange.


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The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

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When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

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Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.