People Describe The Biggest 'Crimes Against Food' They've Ever Witnessed

Ketchup on ice cream?! Tomato and banana sandwich? Ketchup and mayonnaise in between two slices of bread? The horrors of food combinations are unmet, unsettling, and unbeatable.

You may have that friend who eats pizza with a fork, or who doesn't like chocolate, or who insists on eating the same three meals every single day. Humans can be very picky about their food. Their pickiness can often result in some... questionable choices, at best.


Redditor _bexcalibur asked:

"What, in your opinion, is considered a crime against food?"

Here were some of those answers.

Crimes Against Meat

"People who pick up an expensive bit of steak at the supermarket."

"Take it to the checkout, change their minds, shove it somewhere instead of putting it back so the $20 of meat has to be thrown away immediately. Wasteful."-Thefakeblonde

No Seasons?

"No seasoning at all. My friend is like this. His mashed potatoes are tasteless even though he said he salted them twice. I encouraged him to try more spices and herbs, even have him some examples of what I use."

"Next time he cooked, he said he added extra seasoning 'just for MyFlairIsALie' and it was god awful. He just salted the absolute f**k out of it. Then tried to blame it on me by saying it's what I asked for."-MyFlairIsaLie

Mess Hall

"I was in the Marines so I got to eat a lot of interesting things."

"I'm sure (Most} all service members that have indulged in the delectable MRE known as 'Vegetarian Omlet' aka 'Vomlet' would agree..."

"This menu item is a diabolical creation worthly of an actual crime. Although the side items are decent."-Altruistic-Stable-15

Hello, is this the food police? Yes, I'd like to report that someone put half and half in their Kool-Aid.

That's What Makes The Gravy Grand

"Not sure if it would rise to the level of a crime, but adding certain powdered spices at the very end of cooking, close to when you turn the heat off."

"Most spices need to be added in the beginning to allow them to bloom, get rid of the raw taste and really blend with the other ingredients - this would go for cayenne, cumin, coriander powder etc."-Jasonhopkins99

The Beans Don't Go In The Toaster Too!!!

"When I was a kid in Texas, I had a British teenage babysitter. One day, she set her kitchen on fire trying to make beans on toast. After it was out, we had 3 slices of toast, a ruined toaster, and no idea where the beans went."

"Struggling with finding a way to make an afternoon snack from the wreckage, she opened a jar of peanut butter and made peanut butter on toast."

"Her mother arrived soon after. She took the damage in stride. Didn't flinch. Just hugged her kid. But she gaped in horror and lectured her daughter about the audacity of feeding a child peanut butter toast for tea."

"That she should have asked the neighbors for help rather than serve that. I'm still not sure what is so wrong with peanut butter or why they had it if they hated it so much."-LostDogBoulderUtah

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Not The Costco Pot Cooked Prime Rib

"My in-laws got a nice prime rib from Costco, and did something I would consider even worse than making it well done. They cubed it, stuck it in an instapot, and made Beef Bourguignon with it, using no salt or spices."

"They then stuck it over homemade spätzle, also with no seasoning. They went on talking about how amazing it was, while I sat there trying to swallow flavorless mush."-spartankelli

At This Point, Just Burn It

"Overcooked steak. My relative likes his steaks extra well done. I don't know how he even gets it down. SO and I worked really hard to reverse sear some nice steaks for dinner one day."

"Did his well done because we knew he liked it like that. First thing he did was put it in the microwave and dump a bunch of salt on it. I was actually offended."

"I think I asked him why we bothered getting nice steaks (his idea) if all he was going to do was ruin it with a microwave and overcook it to death!"-TiltedNarwhal

Yes, I'd also like to talk to the food ambulance... someone really messed up my simple dish of spaghetti. Can you please fix it?

Way Past Good

"Overcooking literally everything into oblivion. My mother does this and I have to eat it."

"She made chicken the other day that was so good forsakenly dry that I couldn't swallow it without water. It's been cooked so long there's like a tough 'skin' around it."

"Our steak knives won't cut her steak. You have to tear it with your teeth like beef jerky. Everything is like this."-BaconMan420365

Yeah Called It "Grilled Meat"

"Calling something a grilled cheese that has meat on it. I will die on this hill. Mislabeling food is a crime in my opinion."

"If you want to add toppings like tomatoes or lettuce, then have at it. But adding meat to it makes it a melt. A grilled ham and cheese sandwich is a melt and is not a grilled cheese with ham."-SuperVillainPresiden

The Poor Steaks Catch No Breaks

"Ketchup on steak. I had a roommate immediately put ketchup on my steaks I had spent hours marinating in a mixture I had put a lot of thought into."

"He hadn't even tasted it yet. I was so pissed and insulted that seconds earlier I had been expressing my excitement about my bomb marinade, and he still made my steak trailer trash style before he cut into it."

"An argument ensued, with him saying it's no different than ketchup on a burger. Technically, ketchup isn't supposed to go on burgers, and this was a $15 slab of meat, not Hardee's, man!"-SonicBoris

Like we said, human beings can be picky about their food. This goes both ways--are you willing to try something that SOUNDS gross, even if someone else swears it's good?

Perhaps the idea of a "crime against food" is more relative than we initially thought.

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Battlecreek Coffee Roasters on Unsplash

Good smells and bad smells are generally considered pretty universal, but there are definitely some outliers.

Most people can't stand the smell of gasoline, but there are quite a few people who find the smell pleasant.

Redditor Psycho_Bunny_Cutie asked:

"What's a weird smell you're willing to admit you like?"

Skunk

"Skunk"

"Not getting sprayed directly because I've never had that happen so I don't know if I'd like it, but the lingering aftermath."

"My friend's dogs got sprayed and I helped get them bathed. It almost drove them out of their house, but I liked the smell. It lingered for months."

- LakotaGrl

Giphy

​Disney Home Video

"I remember liking the smell of Disney VHS cases."

- AtlUtdGold

"Omg. This unlocked a memory for me. I also loved this. But I haven’t done it in so long that I had forgotten. But this comment literally brought the smell right back. Thank you!"

- el-mil

"Me toooooo. Holy sh*t. I feel like it’s 1995 and I’m on the living room floor about to pop in Pocahontas for the 4th time today."

- lubs96

Friends' Homes

"​I dont know if this counts, where I used to live is very common to hug people all the time, and if I have been in someone's home before, the place would have a particular smell, and almost everytime I would hug them, they would smell like their home. It always felt good to make that association, it was comforting somehow."

- Montpierce

"Same for me, and then when you're out and about and you catch a wiff of something that smells the same even if it's been years they pop into your mind."

- loonettt

New Tech

"​The smell of brand new tech gadgets. It smells of technology. Whenever I buy a new mouse or keyboard (it is especially true for logitech products I don't know if it is a general thing) I sniff them as long as I can detect that sweet plastic-y, ultra clean-smelling goodness."

- bobisz

"Back when CD's were the dominant form of data transfer, I would LOVE every time a new one was opened, just sniffing the new CD."

"Years later, I discovered a nearly identical (to me) smell that works just as well... fresh saffron. Saffron smells like new CD's to me, and I love it."

- ConnectionIssues

Mimeograph Solvent

"Ah, back in the old days, the smell of papers that the teacher handed out that were fresh off those old hand-cranked mimeograph machines. The solvent. Mmmm."

- whazzup_b*tches

Fast Times At Ridgemont High GIF by FilminGiphy

Pool Toys

​"Pvc pool toys when you're unfolding them before you blow them up."

- NoticeWhenUAreHappy

"I bought a shower curtain the other day and instead of a light plastic smell it smelled heavily of inflatable pool toys, best shower ever."

- I_PEE_WITH_THAT

Basements

"I love the smell of basement- which I don't know if is weird, but I'm the only one I know who likes it."​

- AmeliaUsesReddit

"Yessss, also sometimes underground parking garages or stairwells have it. Everyone always thinks I’m an idiot when I bring it up."

- Fenzik

​Home Depot

​"The smell of Home Depot"

- lanuevagringa

"I have long been hoping for Yankee Candle to team up with Home Depot to a lumber aisle scented candle."

- MintyFreshBreathYo

​Hot Pavement And Rain

​"Hot parking lot when it first starts to rain."

- TheUSForestService

"The best! I can smell it now. Thanks for that. That smell in a sun shower is like the best feeling you could ever feel."

- uffdathatisnice

​Burnt Matches

​"Matches after the flame goes out."

- makeful

"Ooooh I like the smell when you blow out a candle."

- Kaisa_is_short

Lighting Up GIF by GifGariGiphy

While there are some smells that seem like everyone must hate them, there's always going to be someone who thinks they smell better than roses.

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