Just say NO! That's a famous 80's catchphrase about staying off drugs, but it is also one of the truest and most life-affirming mantras that many of us have come to appreciate. Saying no, putting one's well-being first, have become the new narrative for a society that was always over-extending itself. Sometimes you just have to decline an offer or decide that, no, this situation isn't healthy for me. And then the freedom you feel... there is nothing else like it.
Redditor u/SketchyByte wanted everyone to share the times in life they have never felt better by asking... What is the most satisfying "no" that you have ever said?"Just try..."
Go ahead, try it. NO! I love it. I can't tell you how many times I gave a yes out of fear, guilt, or shame. Then later all I had to ruminate on was regret. I don't enjoy the NO at the expense of others, but more often than not, I just have to recognize what a certain moment calls for and embrace it. I think the following people can explain.
Sorry Boo
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I got offered a lot of money to basically screw someone over in a court case. I said no and the satisfaction of telling a seriously spoiled rich kids dad no was the most satisfying day in recent memory.
Humans Suck
I work in an Animal Shelter. We had this very scared Cane Corso mix named Tae, who had the perfect look for the worst kind of dog owner: cropped ears and tail, muscular, beautiful grey coat. Tae needed a special low traffic home without any kids because he was very nervous and uncertain, likely due to his past, and we wrote an entire profile explaining this. A guy waltzes in, slams money on the table, and announces he's taking Tae (without ever meeting him, mind you.)
After finding out he had a three year old at home, I told him that wasn't an ideal situation for Tae and that we wanted to think about what was best for the dog. He gets nasty and says it's fine because Tae is going to be chained up outside. I was so satisfied to tell him we won't be adopting anything to him, as it is stated in our contract our dogs must be indoor pets.
No, he didn't like that.
Mother's House
Honestly, it would have to have been splitting up with my ex. He was at his mother's house at the time, and he said he missed me. I stared at the message for so long he sent another, "this is supposed to be where you say you miss me too." But i didn't miss him. Or walking on eggshells around him, having zero help with our newborn child, having so much trouble. So I said but I don't miss you. Easily the best no I've said, I only wish I had said it sooner.
"No, I'd prefer not."
Religious in-laws. Lots of holiday meals, they always stop before eating to Give a Blessing, taking turns, FIL assigns the leader of the prayer. For whatever reason, they do not single me out, and I certainly do not volunteer. FIL has a tendency to put people on the spot when he wants something done. After a decade, I assume it'll never happen.
Well.
Thanksgiving. About to eat, FIL turns to me "Will you lead the blessing." (note lack of question mark.)
"No, I'd prefer not." It came out of my mouth before I really thought about it, but it was the right answer. FIL looking at me like I just sprouted a new head. I repeat, very politely. "No, I'm sorry, I'd rather not." and that was it, the obligation was passed to one of my BILs.
I mean, I respect their faith, but I don't share it. The only meal blessing I know is the Grace* learned as a catholic kid, (took me a long time to understand the actual words) said at speed, which if I'd used that would have been mocking. And I'm not about to thank a heavenly father I don't believe in. I'll bow my head in silence, but this is not my faith, not my prayers.
My husband managed to stop himself from laughing, to his credit.
*blessesolord, antheezigfs, whicheeraboutoreceev, fromeyebuntytokrice, hourlower, AMEN.
Blocked
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Not exactly a no, but declining my ex-wife's friend request on Facebook felt pretty satisfying.
"Not Today"
See they get it. Are you envious enough yet to try it? Go ahead. NO. I'll wait. It can also be a silent NO. Just today this rude young lad tried to cut me off in the line at Target. Back in the day, I'd let that go. I'd wonder if it was worth the argument? What's the big deal? Then I said... NO. You do not get to treat me this way. So I informed him where the line began, and stretched to, so he could march his happy backside yon. Read on...
Rent Some Guys
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"so i see you have a truck"
"no... i will NOT help you move...."
"well damn."
LOL.
Yuck!
I said 'no' to a crappy job offer. They asked me if I was working already and I said I was unemployed but I wouldn't work for their company anyway.
There's one account that I won't accept projects on because of the way they abuse their vendors. I think my exact words were, "I'd rather eat cat food."
Dodged a Bullet
I got fired because the company panicked during covid and decided to fire me and another guy, they were genuine a-holes that didn't care about their employees. I could go into details but it would take way too long, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.
A few weeks later they call me back and asked me to join as they now realized that they actually needed me, he was almost certain that I would say yes.
I straight up told him "no". He sounded sooo disappointed and shocked.
Now nearly a year later the company is going under, everybody left because they hated the boss, and I can't say I feel sorry for them.
Peace Out
Overworked at an underpaying job in a warehouse. 14 hr days. 9 bucks an hour in a 15 degree industrial freezer. 2 15 minute breaks. They hassle you for taking a crap in between. I felt sick that day and boss man comes up to me with ANOTHER stack of orders after we were already doing the biggest one that day. Says "Hey I need you back in the freezer and i need you to pick up the pace a little bit" I just said "no" and walked the hell out. Hitchhiked home. Sun was shining. Dude that picked me up was playing Radiohead. Twas magical as hell.
Worthless...
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After cheating on me, during our break up conversation, she said, "I wish you would have fought for me instead of giving up so easily.."
I said, "maybe if you were worth it."
Keep Your Job
I applied for a job, got it, was shown around the workplace, they explained how things worked etc. The day before I was to start they called me and said the guy changed his mind and was going to stay. A few weeks later they called me again and said the guy quit and I can now have the job. No.
The Voice
I used to work in an IT support call center. I eventually moved to a new job within the same company, but no longer doing support. Every time someone emailed me because I helped them previously, I really enjoyed telling them that I could no longer help them and they had to call the help desk. I love not having to use my "customer service voice" any more.
Bye Bye Bye
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I had an ex send me a text months after we had a horrible and frustrating break up. It just said "I love you." I did the same thing where I stared at it for a long time. He had tried everything to get me back and I was just so over it, so I replied "I don't care." That finally got him to leave me alone.
Not Worth It
I did this to my boss at my last review. I didn't get a raise and was told I had to do three certain things to be considered for a raise.
Boss: You do these three things and you'll get a raise. Are you interested?
Me: No
Boss: So, you're just happy where you are?
Me: Yep
Boss- That's disappointing.
To clarify he couldn't guarantee a raise amount and he has no real control over how much I make. If I did those three things the company could have said "here's your raise enjoy this quarter". If they even gave me a raise. An unspecified raise isn't worth all the extra work they wanted.
Shush...
A cheating and manipulating ex asked me to connect via FB to 'just talk.' According to his opinion the time that had passed from when I found out he is a back boneless cheater until that day was long enough to be 'friends.' I said NO... And lived happily ever after!
Risk Factor
I was made redundant from my old job before Christmas due to COVID and I'd been wrestling with it for a while as I hated the job for years.
In the redundancy meeting they said I'd need to do a load more work and be limited to 3 days a week and I just said no, I'll take the redundancy. Risky move but I had 2 months notice to work through and I figured I could get a job in time.
After the meeting I saw I has a missed call from a job wanting me to start in 2 months as a day rate contractor and that is now coming to an end. I was offered a new permanent position at a 33% salary bump than the job I was made redundant from. Risky, but worked out.
Fur baby first...
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When I was given an ultimatum in my first relationship:
She said, "Either you give up your cat (my furry buddy), or I won't move in with you."
(She wasn't allergic to cats - she just didn't like them.)
So when asked, "Is your cat going?" I said, "No . . . you are!"
Click
When I finally grew a pair and told my "ex" (if you can even call it that because that was clearly NOT a relationship) to hell off. I stopped giving in and believing any bull that came out of my ex's mouth, sent my final text and BLOCKED. That thing even had the nerve to call me from a landline but I was smart enough to immediately hang up. There was a voicemail but my old phone got stolen, and I never ended up listening to it. Thank God.
Tired but Free
A couple years after I bought my car, the dealership called me in to discuss some sort of deal involving my financing. For two hours, they tried to convince me to trade in my car for a newer model before I realized that I could just ask for my damn keys back and get the hell out of there. At that moment, I felt both exhausted and liberated.
Gotcha...
Went shopping for rings with my then fiancé (been married for 16 years now) and when we walked into the jewelry store my ex girlfriend was at the sales counter. We ended up finding some rings there that we really liked, but they had to order some more because they only had the floor model. When I went to pick them up a week later, my ex wanted to know if I would take her back.
I was polite, but said that I was happy with my new relationship and that we really were getting married. I'll never forget the look on her face as I tried on my ring. Guess she shouldn't have cheated on me when we were together.
Stay Back
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When the guy I had a crush on dumped me and made me feel like crap eventually came back to me asking me to hang out and I said NOPE.
"NOOOO!!!!"
NO is not a curse word, nor is it hate speech. Some may see it that way but as you have read... NO... is an imperative part of life. Take it from my experience, you don't have to be a yes man in order to be a good person, or solidify relationships. People will understand, and if they don't, then they aren't introducing the NO in their lives nearly enough.
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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