
Many of us have lost our marbles at one time or another.
Let's face it, some people drive us crazy because of something they said or did.
But some people's erratic behavior are questionable – especially if they are unprovoked – and we have come across at least person who fits the description.
Or it could be that we are the ones who are "not quite right."
Redditor Morbobeus asked strangers on the internet:
"Who's the most 'insane' Person you've ever met?"
The personalities mentioned here included a guy with bizarre anecdotes – including one where half his tongue grew back after it was somehow cut off; a highly intelligent mother who thought masturbating was worse than hiring a sex worker; and a worshiper of the lead singer from Evanescence with whom he was convinced they were astral lovers. What is crazy really?
The One Who Openly Masturbated
"My (now) wife's coworker called her up in the middle of the night because she'd been kicked out about 10 yrs ago. So we go to pick her up, tell her she can stay a few days while she makes a plan."
"Two months later she had refused to leave, started dating the alcoholic neighbor, stolen $600 from our savings box (we were stupid 20 year olds), gotten into a fist fight with my brother in law over a pack of cigarettes, and openly pleasured themselves on the couch while we had company over."
"We moved out and left her there. Police called us a few months later. The neighbor she had been dating had been shot and killed and they couldn't find her. Never heard from/of her again."
Spared For Liking Pie
"Ex-roommate Jay. He told me gruesome details about how he strangled a man to death while serving in the military. He talked very loudly to himself about my body while I was in the room as if I couldn't hear him. Told me I could do crystal meth in my room, if I wanted, that's none of his business. Locked my dog in his room to sleep with him because I was 'neglecting' her. Lost his ever loving sh*t because I didn't eat a meal that he just left out on the counter but decided he wouldn't kill me because I like pie."
"I lived there for 5 days."
He Slapped A Woman With A Ham Sandwich
"I used to work with a guy who would tell the most bizarre stories, far too many to list them all here. One of the first he told me was about how he rode his little blue scooter to a biker bar and all of these big biker guys with their Harley's thought my coworker was the funniest, coolest guy, and invited him to ride his scooter with their gang that night, so they rode around town, letting my coworker ride point. He told another where his friend, a military vet, got a PS4 (this took place years, and years ago) and a handful of games from Sony as a part of some secret military veteran appreciation thing, and that my coworker got to play it; the weird thing being he told this story over a year before PS4's were released to the public."
"Another time he talked about how he went to a strip club, got really drunk, ripped a picture off the wall and threw it at the DJ, bit a bouncer, and then got up on the stage and began dancing/stripping, at which point the crowd of dudes (who were there to watch women strip) began cheering for him and encouraging him to strip; he ended up breaking the stripper pole, but wasn't kicked out because the owner thinks he's hilarious and really likes him. I could go on, there's a story about a him slapping a woman with a ham sandwich, or about him drunk driving a company vehicle and crashing into a building but getting away with it when someone took the fall for him, or how half his tongue was cut off but it grew back completely because of steroids. Never knew what would come out of his mouth."
Obsessed With Amy Lee
"An Amy Lee worshipper. I met him through an old friend. We were at a bar."
"He said I reminded him of her and asked if I liked her."
"I didn't, but he still tried to get me to join him in singing evanescence songs with him."
"He would always comment on my clothes if he thought it looked like something Amy would wear. And ask where I got it. He was very anti social and seldom left his apartment unless to go to bars."
"My friend felt bad for him. So we went to his place once because it was his birthday and he was spending it alone."
"We walk in, Amy was every where and on nearly everything."
"He was shirtless, showing countless Amy Lee tattoos all over his arms and torso."
"Amy in every room, even the bathroom. It was scary. He even had a shrine for her in his bedroom that he showed to us as if it were totally normal."
"He would also dress up like her when he was home alone."
"He asked if it would be okay if he changed back into his Amy clothes. He did."
"Then offered some to me to try on. I did not."
"He fully believed Amy knew he loved her, and they were astral lovers. That the songs she was singing were about their love. But he never wanted to meet her in real life because his physical body was ugly, but his astral body was handsome and fit."
"In his mind he could never have more of her than what he had. He said if she knew what he really looked like she would never meet up with his astral self again."
"I left after he got sloppy drunk and got out a sex doll that he dressed up like Amy, and sat her at the table with us to play cards."
He Worshiped Her, No Doubt
"A guy I knew from work was almost like that with Gwen Stefani. He was a good dude, fun to drink with, and we hung out occasionally at bars. One time I went to meet him at his place, it was a shared apartment so he could only decorate his room, but his room was 100% Gwen Stefani pictures. Like from big posters to magazine cutouts. All four walls and parts of the ceiling too. He never mentioned his deep love for her or no doubt. I was taken aback, for real. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing at all. Neither did he. Going forward I still hung out with him but never went to his place again, and for what it's worth I never mentioned his Gwen shrine to anyone at work."
Manipulative Klepto
"My ex-best friend/housemate."
"She stole from me for months and tried to pin it on my other housemate. She claimed her things were getting stolen too and even went as far as buying a lock to her door to prove her point. When I found out it was her, and not in fact my other housemate, I took my stuff back and she threw a whole fit about how our house had so many thieves. She then went on to put a security camera in her room, when she knew damn well nobody was stealing anyone's stuff except her. She was overall really manipulative and caused so much hate between my other housemate and I, because she convinced us both it was the other stealing our things."
– pinkiea
Super Manipulative, Biggest Bully, Aspiring YouTuber & Cries On Command
"Ex roommate. She was around 45. Desperately wanted to be a big YouTuber. Was constantly pushing the camera in people's face. She had this crazy relationship with her mother. She couldn't do anything without calling and asking for permission. She was one of the biggest bullies I've ever met. Super manipulative too. The could cry on command. She tried bossing me around, telling me who I could date and who I couldn't. She was waaaay too invested in my sex life. One day she just started screaming and crying because I didn't clean behind HER toilet. I ended up having enough and leaving. She and her friends ended up cyberstalking me and harassing me to this day. Some people are just freaking nuts."
"The One"
"In the neighborhood where I grew up, there was a lady who always wore the same black dress and would walk the streets at random hours, day or night. No one knew where she lived, and she never looked at anyone/anything. One day in high school, I thought I was some badas** and I walked up to her and just said 'hi.' She stopped, looked at me, and said 'you are the one,' then kept walking."
"Her."
Reincarnated Rock Star
"I had a roommate who thought he was Kurt Cobain reincarnated, and thought one of my female friends was some version of Courtney Love? And he wrote her long letters and sh*t and basically terrified her completely. Really sad situation, he was obviously schizophrenic or had some other serious issues. He eventually ended up on the streets and I don't know what happened to him."
Mom Approved Of Hiring Hookers
"Possibly my mom. She suffered from delusions, was highly intelligent, and had no empathy. She would tell us things like 'your brother is going to be a prophet' or 'it's a greater sin to masturbate than to hire a sex worker.' This was mixed in with random abuse, moving every six weeks or so, and being left on my own at a very young age with no food or shelter."
"She really seemed with it when you first met her, though."
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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