Sometimes it feels like adult humans completely forget how to act their age. When you see toddlers with better manners than the forty-year-old lawyer, you know humanity is a mess. Now granted, sometimes people are in situations where their emotions take their common sense hostage, but more and more it feels like society is just starting to live in that stasis.
For example, if your order is wrong, don't throw a tantrum or food, simply send it back. If someone cuts you off in line or on the highway, don't chase them down and scream racial slurs, send them peace for their own lives. The list goes on. Let's go through a little of it.
Redditor u/doyoushrubclick wanted some adults out there to listen up and realize... people are watching, they asked... What is the most immature thing you have ever seen an adult do?
Hello Karen...
Karen GIF by moodmanGiphyA customer literally hung out in the middle of our store and started screaming "DOES ANYONE WORK HERE?!" when the only employee in her current line of sight asked her to wait till she finished with another customer first.
It's Wrong!
My husband got a sandwich thrown at him by a middle-aged woman because he apparently "made it wrong" according to her arbitrary standards that she failed to disclose before ordering the sandwich. We later saw the same woman on a viral video yelling at the cashier in a Starbucks because some customers in the Starbucks were speaking Korean.
My husband also got the police called on him by a 30-something man for not giving him a free pickle.
Poor Woman...
My manager had two dudes blow an airhorn in her ear after she leaned out the window to hear them better. Almost blew her ear drum. Same manager also had to report a dead body on shift, call an ambulance for a suspected drug user, had a sandwich thrown at her many times and was generally abused by customers and other managers.
Customer Dearest
Mommie Dearest Quote GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphyI saw a grown man throw his burger at the cashier at McDonald's because it had onions on it and he didn't like/want onions.
So Ignorant
I had a customer recently complain to me that they were, and I quote: "Absolutely sick and tired of all these companies using COVID as an excuse. They need to pull up their boot straps and get their sh!t together and get to freaking work."
I want to say I was baffled by their ignorance, but it's par for the course right now and the handicap on the game keeps getting higher.
Veggie issues
Having my vegetables weighed at the supermarket, and some guy cuts in line and just plonks a zucchini on the scales to be weighed (I'm in China and line cutting is a huge issue here). I don't say anything. I simply pick up the zucchini and hand it back to him. He throws it on the floor and storms off.
Forget that guy!!
Exactly at 4...
Probably not the MOST immature thing I've seen but it's what came to mind. I worked in a hot dog joint that was actually pretty popular but it closed at 4 o clock every day on the dot. Exactly at 4. We would prep for closing 30 mins in advance, keep enough food out to sell if someone came in before closing and then spend 5 mins after 4 finishing up and then leave for the day.
Well, one day my manager (great gal) and I were the only ones there.
No customers, so we get all our work done and some more and then close the signs. Manager is counting the drawer when this dude barges in. I recognized him because he had been parking RIGHT in front of the store for a solid twenty mins and I assumed he was just waiting on someone.
Dude comes in (front door is only exit so we didn't lock it but the multiple closed signs were up) and looks around. My manager says, "Sir we are closed. You'll have to go elsewhere."
This grown a** man then POUTS, proceeds to STOMP HIS FOOT and say, "But I'm Hungry and I want to eat here!"
"Sorry, sir, but our food is up and the drawer is closed. No more sales." The way she spoke to him was fitting; like he was a toddler.
Then this dude just sighs real loud and says "Fiiiiinnnnneee I guess I'll starve."
Grown man. Like not exactly a boomer but older than my dad for sure. Old enough to not act like that. Some adults are entitled AF.
You Suck!
I Hate You Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphyIn whole foods. Whole foods worker drops and spills a tray of produces he's transporting.
Middle aged lady stops, looks me in the eyes and says (loudly so everyone can hear) "SUCKS TO BE HIM". Like we were all supposed to laugh at this guy trying to do his job. Forget that foolish lady.
The Cancer Card
So... my daughter is a cancer survivor. As we've been on this journey I've discovered parents of children with cancer fall into 3 broad categories.
- Parents who are in it for themselves.
- Parents who are in it for their kids.
- Parents who are in it for the community.
I should point out that last group makes up 98% of the people, but holy sh!t do those 2% split between groups 1 and 2 are literally a cancer.
I've seen parents finagle multiple make a wish trips for their kid.
Pull the cancer card to get free everything.. then bad mouth charities when the charity realizes they're grifters just using their kid for benefits.. your kid doesn't need 4 ipads..
Getting invited to meet professional athletes and then begging for autographs and souvenirs.
I've watched parents have a melt down because their kid wasn't on the front page of a flyer promoting an event.
Piss and moan because their kid got more time on TV then they did.
It's eye opening when you see how petty and exploitive people can be.
I WIN!!
donald trump snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyAdults arguing with children and then get even more mad when the child has a valid point.
"The director..."
The director of the company.
Someone asked him a work-related question. Because of this "distraction", he messed up the repair project, blamed guy asking question, and threw a wrench across the room. At someone else's head. For "distracting him."
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can work here. If you can dodge the blame for things you didn't do, then you can work here (until you get hit by a wrench or 3 write-ups, whichever comes first)."
"Shouted at an employee..."
Shouted at an employee to the point of making her cry because the employee ACCEPTED to refund the product...
"Had a temper tantrum..."
Had a temper tantrum because I was sitting in "her" seat on the bus.
"I'm in a wheelchair..."
I'm in a wheelchair and have been for all of my life. One old lady told me and I quote, "Don't worry, you'll learn to walk one day." My dad and I were baffled and didn't know what to say.
"Scream at her grandkids..."
Scream at her grandkids at the park because she wasn't paying attention and a basketball hit her.
"He refused to admit..."
He refused to admit that people liked some other guy better and didn't even show up to the party when the guy got promoted.
"I see adults pay thousands of dollars..."
I work in probate law. I see adults pay thousands of dollars to fight their siblings over trash. These items are not even of sentimental value, it's just to win some decades-old beef with a sibling.
"Ironically..."
Fast food worker here.
A couple of years ago we hired a 14-year-old girl to take drive-thru orders and run them out to cars. A few weeks into training she ended up making a few mistakes on an order in the middle of a rush. No big deal and an easy fix but my boss, a 40+-year-old grown adult, decided to yell at her in front of everyone and throw some plastic food trays at her.
She ran to the back of the restaurant crying and all of our kitchen staff stepped off the line mid-rush to comfort her and offer to be her job reference if she decided to walk out that night, which she did.
Ironically, my boss's fit ended up causing a major backlog of orders that night and we were all giving him hell the entire night for treating her that way. It was one of the few moments that I felt really proud of my kitchen crew for refusing to tolerate that s***.
"My uncle got irate..."
Was at a restaurant with my uncle and cousins from far away. First time visiting with them in years. At the end of the dinner, one of my cousins snuck off and paid for everyone as a nice gesture.
My uncle got irate yelling and complained that he wanted to pay his share because, and I s*** you not, he has a movie ticket points Visa card and he was close to getting a free movie. He argued and told off our cousin loudly in the restaurant over a few free movie points. He would not drop it until he got our cousin to apologise to him for costing him movie points.
I don't think those cousins are going to fly down again any time soon.
"Eventually..."
When I worked in the bakery at Whole Foods, we had a customer who kept asking us to make banana muffins with A LOT of pecans on top for her - but only a few at a time, like two or three. In general it was a request we could accommodate, but we had a few considerations we had to account for, like the fact that if we made them and she didn't pick them up we couldn't sell them to anyone else because pecans weren't on the ingredient list.
The problems started arising when she would call us while she was on the way to the store, expecting to pick them up when she arrived. She was about twenty minutes away and they took 45 minutes to bake. Even if she had called us while she was an hour away, we were on a pretty tight production schedule and someone would have to interrupt the work they had to get done that day for an unexpected special order for this one customer.
First, she got mad that we couldn't magically make them in twenty minutes because of chemistry. I was, unfortunately, the supervisor on shift when she called most of the time, so she'd keep me on the phone for fifteen minutes raging about how the customer is always right - even though she was factually incorrect in this circumstance. She started saying we should just make them her way all the time so that we always had them on hand for her. I explained to her that we could get heavily fined by food inspectors if we did that, but that only made her angrier because f*** the man, I guess?
Eventually, my team leader said that we had to put our foot down with her and tell her that she had to put in special orders two days in advance just like everyone else. When we told her this, she of course got like sputtering infuriated (along the lines of "How am I supposed to know when I'm going to want them?!?!"). We were able to just say "well management says so, sorry," and we thought that was that. She went along with it for a couple days, sending her poor mother to pick them up for her because she was too angry to step foot in the store - her mom always looked so apologetic.
Finally, though, she came in personally to berate my team about how rude and inconsiderate and generally s***** we had been to her. Then she asked to speak to our store manager, who had been made aware of the whole Banana Nut saga. He escorted her outside and told her she was banned from the store. We found out later that she had also been banned from the three nearest Whole Foods locations over this exact same set of circumstances.
"On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party..."
My mother-in-law doesn't handle stress very well, she tends to start lashing out at people and starting fights for no reason.
On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party, she started to lose it as we were running around getting everything ready before the guests arrived. She first cornered my wife and started freaking out over the thermostat and some other unrelated pointless crap, then found me and started a fight over the garage door (it needed oiling and I hadn't done it because I was busy setting up the party). Volume of the voice steadily increasing.
My wife marches up to her and actually sent her to her room to calm down, and she did it! She stayed up there for an hour while my wife and I finished putting up decorations. It is a memory I will cherish forever.
"I was a kid in a mall..."
I was a kid in a mall when I was able to shop by myself and saw a lady blow a fuse at some guy behind the counter. Calling him names and what not just losing her s***. He just puts up the palm of his hand and says, "Mam, I believe you are too irrational to deal with." And then just pivots 180 degrees not facing her and ignores her. Waits for her to leave and when she does, he just proceeds to say to the next person, "May I help you?" Like nothing even happened. I learned a lot from that guy in 1.5 mins.
"After three hours..."
Old job. One day, we had a huge tech overhaul they didn't prepare anyone for. Entire machines we're used to using were just gone, sometimes replaced, sometimes not. After three hours of literally everyone asking the manager how they were supposed to do their jobs now, he walked to the middle of the room and turned in a slow circle, screaming at the top of his lungs and gesturing wildly, saying, "EVERYONE JUST DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS F****** DO."
...So I went to my workstation and waggled my fingers in the air where a keyboard had been the day before.
"Not surprisingly..."
The parking garage near my work is a frustrating place. The monthly customers have a parking pass that lifts the gate to get in and to get out. The thing is, the pass and their sensor don't work. You have to creep up to where you think the sweet spot might be, wave your pass around, reverse and try again, curse a bunch, endure people behind you honking despite them going through the same thing..... frustrating.
Not surprisingly, I witnessed a grown man throw the most excellent temper tantrum I've ever seen. The gate wouldn't go up, and he just started screaming in his car and smashing on the horn, straight out of a movie. The worst part is is that the gate always seems to go upright when you reach peak rage. So he's yellin' away, and then the gate is just like "Alright, man. I'll open. Jeez."
"When I was in high school..."
When I was in high school, my boyfriend was planning on joining me and my friends for an indie movie night at my house. Boyfriend called me up to say that he couldn't make it because he had to watch his siblings, and I overheard his dad screaming, stomping, and yelling at the top of his lungs. He kept calling me a 'stupid little wh*re' and a 'f****** waste of time'.
I should mention that I was 14. Who calls a 14-year-old girl that?!
I ended up calling the police on him twice later; once when he punched his son in the face and another when he followed my mom and brother home. He wanted to 'teach her a lesson', we found out.
I don't wish pain on anyone, but if he died in a car fire I'd probably do a little dance.
"We called the police."
When I was working at Petco, I used to see all kinds of adult temper tantrums. People needed to take care of their animals but hated how much that costs. Of course, they would take it out on the store employees. People that wanted fish were the worst. They would try to get away with spending so little on fish and never wanted to clean their tanks or buy the stuff to do that. Then they wouldn't properly introduce new fish to their tanks and would bring in samples of their water that were just terrible and be pissed when they couldn't get another fish for free to replace the one they killed.
However, the biggest adult temper tantrum was from a guy that bought Flies Off (really cheap) in an attempt to get rid of fleas (relatively expensive). He used the whole bottle and came back expecting a refund because his dog still had fleas. He was told no and things went south quick. He was yelling by the check lanes about how he deserved a refund. Screaming at the manager in front of everyone making a huge scene. He then kicked over this spinning rack holding dog collars and yelled that he was going to come back and shoot up the windows. We called the police. He never actually came back, but what a total piece of garbage over like 5-10 bucks.
"He asked a clerk to come help..."
kevin smith dancing GIF by FilmStruckGiphyI was at the pharmacy around 8 pm, waiting in line behind an older lady. The pharmacist tells her she'll have to pick up her prescription tomorrow at 10 am because this location doesn't carry this particular medication. The following ensues:
Lady: I'll wait
Pharmacist: No ma'am, we physically don't have it in this store. You have to come back tomorrow at 10 am.
Lady: Let me speak to the manager.
Pharmacist: I am the manager, I'm the pharmacist and this is my store. I'm telling you, we do not have this medication right now.
Lady: Can you just give me one pill and I'll get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, we don't have any of the pills here.
Lady: What if I pay you for the cost of that one pill right now, and I get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, I can't give you one pill because we have zero pills in this store. You'll be fine until tomorrow at 10 am, I promise.
The woman proceeds to go WILD. She begins throwing stuff on the shelves onto the floor, stamping on them, screaming about how she will sue this pharmacy and how she's never seen such terrible customer service in her life. She even started kicking the partition between her and the pharmacist, threatening to go back there and fill it herself. It didn't even seem like she was upset about the medication itself, it was more that she didn't get her way and didn't want to come back. He asked a clerk to come help and the whole time, she's grabbing for things and throwing them onto the floor in fury. She gets escorted out and we could still hear her yelling outside.
"Then it gets bad."
A 60ish-year-old man was getting gas and the pump allows you to pay for a car wash at the same time. He adds the car wash to his bill.
Drives around to car wash, big huge large see from space type sign "Temp Out Of Service"
Goes inside starts screaming that this mother f***** tried to steal his $7.99. The guy explains that the ticket is good for 90 days and he's sorry. Slams his fist on the counter screaming that if the car wash was out of service the pump shouldn't have offered it to him in the first place. Demands a full refund including the gas for wasting his time.
Then it gets bad.
He starts calling the guy an ISIS member and throwing things off the shelves before storming out. Calls the guy all sorts of names. I thought his head may have exploded with all of the veins showing.
This man is my father. We don't speak anymore.
"We explained..."
I worked as a bra fitter in a department store. We had an older lady, probably late '60s with her rich old husband (80's) come into the store wanting to buy bras after she had 2 weeks earlier gotten a boob job. We explained that because of swelling she should wait to buy bras and she became so enraged she literally started yelling abuse at us and pushing over entire racks of underwear. Picture a thin, somewhat wrinkled woman in rhinestones, losing her s*** and tossing around undies. It was glorious.
"One time..."
I used to work at McDonald's. One time a guy came through the drive-thru and ordered chicken nuggets. We gave him his food and he drives off. A few min later, he comes into the store and runs up to the counter ranting about how we forgot his BBQ sauce. My manager meets him at the counter, apologizes profusely and gives him some BBQ sauce packets (extra too, maybe 6-7 packets). He proceeds to throw them at her and the rest of us workers behind the counter. We all had BBQ sauce splattered on our uniforms, on the walls, equipment etc. After he ran out of ammunition, he ran out of the store and drove away like a coward.
I was 15 then and I pretty much lost my faith in humanity.
"It was my last week..."
I worked in a grocery store and a woman asked me to slice her organic bread. She flipped out when she discovered that non-organic bread was also sliced on the machine. She stomped her foot and yelled, "But that messes up the organic integrity!" It was my last week working there, so I simply told her, "Ma'am, please understand, I'm not emotionally involved in the situation." She froze and just walked away with the bread.
"I told a grown woman..."
I told a grown woman she could not pet my service dog while he was working. She got herself so worked up she started shouting, and told me that if I didn't want people to pet my dog I shouldn't bring him into the grocery store. I expect this sort of behavior from young children, and I also expect their parents to keep them under control.
"Needless to say..."
I worked the front desk at a hotel a few years ago. A guest came to check in around 10 pm and asked if he could get a room with 2 beds (he booked 1 bed). I told him we were sold out of rooms with 2 beds. Before I could offer him anything else, he took the bowl of apples we had at the desk and threw it against the wall. Then he took his OWN laptop, threw it on the ground, and started kicking it around the lobby. Security came out promptly and told him he needed to leave, which obviously prompted more screaming and kicking. Needless to say, he didn't stay at the hotel that night.
"I work in a small boutique hotel..."
Hospitality industry nightmares. I work in a small boutique hotel with no security and a couple of years ago a guest had a nervous breakdown that lasted for about two hours. Her husband left her in the city center and she somehow couldn't get back to the hotel, started blaming us. Accused us all of being racist because she's Iraqi, accused the taxi driver of wanting to assault her, got in my face to the point I thought she was going to hit me. She was screaming so loudly the other guests locked themselves in their rooms. It was the worst thing I have ever witnessed from a human being.
"When I worked at Starbucks..."
Oh good lord. When I worked at Starbucks there was a very well-dressed man who came in and ordered a latte with the following customizations: whole milk, no foam, 200 degrees. We had just run out of whole milk, which I told him and apologized for. He didn't get S***** with me or anything but was sort of weird and soft-spoken. Okay, whatever. So I handed his cup down the line for his drink to be made. 200-degree no-foam lattes are a bitch to make, but my best barista was on duty so I wasn't worried at all. She hands off his drink. He takes the lid off and looks at it.
Customer: "I said no foam."
Barista: "Oh, I'm sorry, I must not have been paying attention. Give me one moment and I'll remake it for you."
Customer: "No, it's fine."
The customer walks away in the middle of my barista explaining that it would only take a few seconds to correct his drink. Suddenly, but also very silently, he takes the lid off of his drink and pours it all over the condiment bar in a sweeping motion.
Not really a temper tantrum, but obviously the dude had some very VERY weird ways of dealing with dissatisfaction.
"When I told her this..."
I'm in retail, so I witness my fair share of adult temper tantrums, but ever since I became a manager it's 10x worse because now I'm the one that gets called up to deal with the tantrums. A few weeks ago a woman wanted to return a curling iron that had clearly been being used for years and wasn't even a brand that my store sold so she obviously had no receipt and no original packaging, meaning it wasn't eligible for a return anyway whether or not it's something she had bought at our store.
When I told her this, politely, of course, she puffed up and asked to speak to the manager. Okay, I'm a manager, but the store's general manager will be here tomorrow if you want to leave your number and I can have her give you a call. Nope, not acceptable, she wants cash for it today. Even if I somehow was able to accept the return (my system literally won't let me) it would be store credit only, never cash. I tell her this, and she flips the f*** out.
Screams at me (literally, not figuratively), tells me she's calling the cops and corporate and the Better Business Bureau AND the attorney general (wtf are they going to do about it?!), calls me a wh*re, and then she tells me karma is going to bite me and I'm going to have a stillborn baby. Which was really fun to hear considering I'm currently nine months pregnant. All because she couldn't return her used curling iron for meth money. I had no doubt in my mind she was on some sort of substance, but the significant amount of teeth missing from her mouth tipped me off that it was meth she was after, and you obviously can't pay your dealer in-store credit.
"I was an intern..."
This was back in 2010 or so.
I was an intern at an ad agency in Boston and commuting into the city every morning. I'd get off at North Station and then transfer to the orange line. That stop has a decently large entryway.
One day, the woman ahead of me as I walked down the stairs had a large folder in her hands. She was reading what looked to be a fairly technical financial or legal document, and you could tell she was really stressed out about it. Like, rubbing her temples, cursing under her breath, etc.
Anyway, we get through the turnstiles and are about to head down to the train platform and she stops and just kind of looks at her stuff...and then screams at the top of her lungs I HATE WORKING!!
Then she starts sprinting back and forth and screaming (in a crowded T station during rush hour, mind you) I HATE WORKING!!!
She does this for about 30 seconds or so before eventually tossing her file up and the papers filling the air. She then sprints back up the stairs out of the station.
The wildest part was people paused for like two seconds then went back on their way as if nothing happened.
[deleted]
The Crush
smash it with a booster! GIF by Candy CrushGiphyCry when I jokingly told them that Candy Crush has crashed and lost all their level data.
COOKIE!!!
Back when I worked at a bakery a grown woman came back in a few minutes after picking up her order and she baseball threw the whole package at the cashier I was working with, luckily she dodged though it almost knocked the bread wall over.
This bakery made giant oreo-like sandwich cookies shaped like butterflies as part of the normal menu, and where called Chocolate or Vanilla Butterflies depending on the flavor.
Around easter the bakery made cookies with rainbow pastel frosting in the shapes of flowers, bunnies, eggs, chicks and butterflies, they where called Rainbow Bunny Cookies or Rainbow Egg Cookies...you get it.
They are also either chocolate or vanilla flavored.
So the lady called in an order for 2 dozen of each flavor of Butterfly Cookies. The order was filled accordingly, however the customer didn't know she had to specify the Rainbow Butterfies and instead of asking us to exchange pr something she stempts assault and ruins 48 3inch in diameter cookie sandwiches.
How High?
A guy down the street from me growing up, built a huge fence, like 10 or 12 feet high on one side of his front lawn and not the other. He said he hated his neighbour so much he didn't want to risk ever seeing him.
"invading her privacy"
I had a woman absolutely lose her mind with me because she thought I was "invading her privacy" at the bank by looking at the screen, which had nothing on it but a screen with the teller in the upper-right corner. (It wasn't like most banks where you interact with a teller in-person--you use some kind of video-chatting service to do whatever you need to do unless you do need to meet in-person with the teller.)
In reality, I was looking at it because my mom had sent me to wait in line and cash her check while she met with another teller about her debit card and I had absolutely no idea how it worked and didn't want to seem awkward in front of the teller (social anxiety sucks ass). Didn't even look for more than 5 seconds and I could care less about what she was doing, but that didn't stop her.
I feel sorry for all the employees working at the bank that had to step in and get involved and try to get this woman to calm down. And I mean all the employees. All six of them currently working at the time (it was near closing time).
Eventually the woman stormed out and peeled out of the parking lot with her husband in tow, and we apologized to the teller my mom was speaking with, who was pretty chill about the whole situation.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
remote control raymond GIF by TV LandGiphyMy husband and I were bickering over what to watch which led to physically (play) fighting over the remote. That bastard threw it into the next room cuz he knew I was too lazy to get up to get it.
You're 40!!
Playing against a 40+ year-old man in a WHFB tournament who got upset at some horrendous rolls and threw his own models across the store.
Useless...
Use a sharpie on a weather map to double down on a completely stupid and baseless claim that wouldn't have even gained him anything if it were true.
(Honestly, there are dozens of actions of our former White House occupant that could and should make this list.).
The Segway
I worked in a warehouse and my manager was the owner's son.
So this spoiled, rich, soft, white, country club man is being shown how to operate these new ridable order selectors we have. Basically a baby Segway with a basket for small boxes. He's standing on it and the sales rep from the company was explaining the buttons and about safety.
Obviously.
He reaches over to show my manager the buttons on the handle and my manager slapped the guys hand like he was a child. We all, including the sales rep, looked at my boss like he was outside of his mind.
Eat a hot dog...
My ex started screaming and crying when his dad wouldn't eat the hawaiian pizza (he didn't like pineapple on pizza, fair enough) that i paid for. My ex then decided to pack up the rest of the pizzas so nobody else could have any, and storm out. He didn't return that night so i had to stay in the spare bedroom at his dads, (this was a rural area and our house was like an hours drive away and we had been drinking).
He then told me when i made it home the next day he ate all the pizzas in a bush and then walked home.
Ex screamed and cried coz dad wouldn't eat pizza i'd paid for so then decided nobody was having any, stormed out and left me at his dads in the middle of nowhere and took all the pizzas with him. Dude had serious issues and i still think about the bullet i dodged to this day.
I Admit!
Nbc Gwen GIF by The VoiceGiphyThis is me. I remember I was pregnant and something on the banking website wasn't working. Over and over I kept trying and nothing. I got so pissed off I hit the laptop a couple of times with my hand. Hard enough because I broke the hard drive. Whoops. 🤦🏻♀️.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do to a loved one. Betraying the trust of someone we are supposed to be committed to on such a fundamental level is truly despicable and heartbreaking, and the users of Reddit blew off some steam by telling the tales of their very worst, no good cheating exes.
We Feel for You
white and blue yacht on sea under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Alina Kacharho on UnsplashThis is so recent (a week ago). I went to the spot I first took her to on the ship we worked on to surprise her, and she was on top of another dude. They looked me in the face and laughed when they saw me.
Congrats, Buddy!
Found out via Facebook a few months after I had broken up with him that he cheated on me. I was still friends with his siblings and parents, and they were tagged in some photos of him. Holding his clearly to-term newborn son. Less than nine months after I broke up with him.
Something Not to Be Thankful For
I'm not on great terms with my family, so I suggested making a roast chicken for the two of us for Thanksgiving. She opted to go to her roommate's family's place—the roommate who I learned she was sleeping with shortly afterward.
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
man in red and black striped polo shirt holding gold iphone 6Photo by jaikishan patel on UnsplashI was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it's my girlfriend's full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom's house.
Did He Get an A+?
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight, I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "Who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left.
She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.
A Sudden Change of Heart
I knew he was cheating when he suddenly became concerned about his looks but didn’t want me to look good. He went on a diet, started wearing contacts, and started shaving his pubic hair, which he wouldn’t do for me. Also became distant, had a lack of interest in sex, spent a lot of time on his phone, had weird mood swings that didn’t relate to our relationship fights/make ups, along with lots of other signs.
The Question You Don’t Want Answered
man between two women taking selfiePhoto by Elevate on UnsplashI was "roommate with benefits" before and somehow I was the other woman. I don't know how he thought he was going to be able to keep the two of us a secret from each other. It's been about five years and when I think about it the emotion that comes back isn't sadness or anger from the betrayal, but amazement that he thought he was going to get away with it.
The Question You Don’t Want Answered
Back when Myspace survey quizzes were popular, I was reading one that she posted. A question on the quiz read "Who was the last person you kissed/had sex with?" The answer was not my name...
Racking up the Minutes
Phone bill was three times bigger than it should have been. Over 400 minutes to one number. The kicker was that she also had a company cell phone with unlimited calls that I obviously never would have known about, and the guy was someone she worked with. She literally wanted to get caught because she was too weak to tell me to my face.
Fly Me to the Moon
a woman looking out the window of an airplanePhoto by Chris Curry on UnsplashJust got on a flight in London headed to Vegas. Sitting next to my GF, and she wants to show me something she has planned for the trip, so gets out her phone. It opens to the Messages and shows a chat with a guy (I know him) saying how much she is going to miss him and how she doesn't want to go away with me anyway. The doors close on the plane and that was a really fun 10-11hrs...
A Little Subtlety Can Go a Long Way
Right before my ex got caught cheating, I saw his phone laying on the couch like it fell out of his pocket. I picked it up just as he realized he'd dropped it. I swear, he leapt across the room to take it from my hand before I could even say a word. I had already begun suspecting, but that was pretty definitive that I was right.
Setting an Example for the Baby
When I got home from work, she would be going to work and I would be hanging out with our baby. Around the time he was one and a half, she started going to the bar with co-workers. I was fine with it because it wasn't often, maybe one night a week, and she came back home by 12. It quickly got up to coming home between 2:30 am and 4 am, plastered, four to six times a week.
She started mentioning this one co-worker a lot and how cool he was. My paranoia got the better of me and I checked her phone one alcohol-induced coma night and she had been trying to get said co-worker to meet with her at an abandoned gas station a few miles up the road while she was on her way out.
I approached her and asked what she planned to do when he showed up, "just hang out and shoot the s***!" to which I replied, "While you’re drunk, at 2 am, behind an abandoned gas station..." She never admitted to it, but that, a lot of not-even-subtle clues and people I knew seeing her out at the bar gave me all I needed to know.
The Roommate Disagreement
woman in brown shirt covering her facePhoto by Fa Barboza on UnsplashShe was having an argument with a housemate and they shouted at her—with me in the room—“At least I'm not cheating on my fiancé!” She moved out less than a week later.
Happy...Birthday?
I went to her 18th birthday party. I wandered around mingling with all her friends, and then I realized I hadn't seen her anywhere in like 45 minutes. I thought nothing of it at first, but then I went downstairs to use the basement bathroom. It was locked. I knocked and I heard a very breathy female voice say, "Occupied! Go Away!" Since I really had to go, I decided to wait.
GF came stumbling out of the bathroom with some guy about ten minutes later, looking all flustered and stinking. Apparently, the guy bought himself a bathroom quickie with a few hits of a toke. She made some excuse about how they were "just talking" and he was an old friend. I shrugged, actually wanting to believe her.
But when I went in to finally go to the bathroom, the stupid girl had forgotten her panties on the bathroom floor. I handed them to her in front of all her friends upstairs and walked out. "Here. You forgot these in the bathroom downstairs." It was one of those classic zinger moments when you really burned someone, but at the time, I just felt sick and brokenhearted.
Those Dog-Walkers Will Get You Every Time
Not so subtle, but my ex was being guarded with his phone, and every time I caught a glimpse of the screen while he was using it, it was the same girl. Asked who she is and it's his friend from "dog-walking club" Yeah right—they actually met on Tinder. He also went through my phone, and not very subtly either, because he accidentally sent random thumbs up to a lot of people on Facebook chat.
Then there was the random message from the above-mentioned girl, who had gone to the effort of looking me up and telling me to"back off her boyfriend." Hahahahahaha. There were a lot of things she didn't know either, apparently.
Thanks for the Reminder
man and woman lying on grassPhoto by Clem Onojeghuo on UnsplashI technically didn't catch him cheating, because he came clean about it when he broke up with me. I did, however, find out who he cheated with. He told me it was with his friend Natalie, who I had never heard of before, except for the time maybe days earlier when he told me about his "half black" friend Natalie. Ok, at the time I wasn't sure why he shared this detail.
This was ten years ago when we were all fresh out of high school, so I don't remember exactly how the conversation went. Days go by and a coworker asks me if we're still together, because she saw him kissing a girl, and she shares her description as "darker skinned." I tell her we broke up, and that's probably the girl he cheated on me with, it's ok.
Days go by and my good friend Nora's older brother invites me to hang out, totally out of the blue. I take him up on it and we go to a park near his parents' house. Lo, we spot Nora's car. We're walking through the park and there's Nora's parents' dog running around off leash. And there, on a gentle slope, is Nora and my recent ex making out on the grass.
Nora and her brother are Egyptian and could easily be described as "half black" or "darker skinned." My ex had made Natalie up.
Status: It’s Not That Complicated
Literally five hours after we broke up, he updated his Facebook relationship status to "engaged" to a girl who I thought he was just friends with. She uploaded a photo showing off the ring with the caption "he finally asked, and I said yes!"
Second in Command
Phone dinged, I checked it, (same phones no case both charging next to each other.) The text said, "I miss you too" and was from a girl he was dating when we were separated. Fast forward a few months to when he deploys. Check his email because at this point I know something is up. Find emails, so I contact the mistress.
She was very transparent with me and told me that basically, they were dating before he even met me, which means he courted me, asked me to marry him, married me then we had a child together all while he was still seeing her. We separate for a year, he dates her exclusively, we get back together, and he maintains a relationship with her. All of this without me knowing.
I found this all out while I was a month away from birthing his second child and he's getting shot at in Afghanistan. We decide to work through it, but I never could get over the fact that he cheated on me for four years and had no problem hiding it from me, and only came clean because I found out, as in, he had no intention of coming clean.
When he returned home he confessed to many other times with other people (thank GOD I never got an STD). After three subsequent years of him refusing to go to counseling so that we can ACTUALLY deal with it, he tells me he wants a divorce (a month before we are supposed to get a permanent change of station to Alaska). Moved back home with the kids, filed for divorce and life is amazingly better now. Screw that guy!
Raise the Roof
women standing side-by-side on street during daytimePhoto by Zoriana Stakhniv on UnsplashMy cousin showed me a picture of her hooking up with the male stripper at her bachelorette party.
For My Ears Only
I caught my dad cheating on my stepmom because he said he wanted to listen to Adele on my headphones. The second he said that, I knew something was up. He would never take me and my sister out for any reason other than personal pleasure and why ask for my headphones. I come to find out after a little bit of snooping on his phone that he was sending Facebook audio messages to girls, so his wife couldn't read the messages. That really changed how I saw my dad.
Not That Kind of Emergency
She told me her little cousin (who is mentally handicapped) swallowed something (a battery I think) and was in the hospital in NC and was flying down there. Later, she went and took a nap. I was on the computer, clicked on the favorite place link to Gmail and saw a flight confirmation email to NY. I realized it was her account and not mine.
I sat at the edge of the bed calm as could be and as soon as she woke up I asked her what she was doing in NY. She tried to say she didn't know what I was talking about, but I told her I saw the email. She then said she was going to visit some friends, and I was like oh, is that why you made up this big lie about your cousin?
Dial 1 for Heartbreak
grayscale photo of man holding telephonePhoto by Angelika Agibalova on UnsplashHe was in the basement of the house we had JUST BOUGHT TOGETHER having phone sex with her, not realizing that the sound would travel through the vents. It sucked at the time but in hindsight, he did me a huge favor.
Wake up Call
My girlfriend started working with and talking about this girl and inviting the girl and her GF to go to dinner with us. We went on a double date with this couple a few times over the course of three weeks and I noticed every time we were all four out, my girlfriend would drink much more heavily than usual. It was weird.
We were having them over for dinner one Sunday, but had an adult sports game before (which usually involved light drinking) and she was acting super weird about making sure we were home on time and had dinner ready, etc. That night, after they left, she passed out on the couch next to me. Her Apple watch buzzed, and I glanced over and saw a selfie of this girl.
This was enough to get me to look at her phone (for the first time ever) where I find texts with sexting and details about their hookup. I took screenshots of all of it and sent it to my phone.I got dressed, texted a friend, packed a backpack, and woke her up by throwing her phone (with those messages open) at her and walking out the door.
She groggily sorted it all out and attempted to contact me all night and eventually texted the other girl's GF those screenshots, which I thought was pretty cruddy. Sort of an "if I'm going down, you're going down with me."
Fashion Statements
My first GF, that I had lost my virginity to, banged some dude from high school that allowed her to wear his letterman jacket home since it was cold. He came to her house to get it back and said it just felt right. All while I was at work. The worst part was she told me on AIM when I got home!
Sleepover
woman in blue denim jeans lying on bedPhoto by Adam Winger on UnsplashHe has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs.
So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to have sex with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn't "fun anymore" and he left.
While You Were Working
My ex worked a night shift and I worked day shift, so I'd wait for her to come home (so kids wouldn't be sleeping alone) and one night she just didn't show up...Pulled up Find my iPhone to find out she's at her ex’s house. She came home a little later after texting/calling her constantly with some extra news: he got her pregnant...What a wonderful day.
Good Luck Getting a Ride
I had let her borrow my car while I took the bus to work, my friend called me at work to say that my girl was making out with some guy in my car. So I got a taxi over there and yup, there she was. I knocked on the window guy jumped out. I was going to start beating his ass, but I told him to just leave, this might not be your fault.
She started making excuses, I just asked her to step out of the car. Got my keys and drove away a mess, she screwed me up for a long time. She made me lose trust in women and messed up my concept of relationships for a long time.
Say Cheese!
man in black shirt holding black smartphonePhoto by Shane on UnsplashWhen I was at college we had this campus Twitter account that people would post pictures of random people caught making out at parties to. I blacked out one Saturday night and woke up to a few angry texts…
Band Camp Blues
When I was 14/15 years old and at band camp, my best friend (let's call her Emma) and I were dating two boys who were best friends. Typical, right? So, one day Emma and I get out of rehearsal and we go to meet up with our boyfriends, who are nowhere to be found. So we look harder, we're wandering around campus, and we hear low voices behind a ledge.
Lo and behold, our precious boyfriends were there...MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. Emma immediately started crying, which caused the boys to pull apart with a suctiony schluuurp. I suppose I wasn't as in love with Boyfriend as I thought, because my reaction was to laugh hysterically. I had never seen two boys make out before. It wasn't bad.
Double Standards
She told me in gratuitous detail the name, body type and acts she performed with like ten different dudes—ranging from making out to intercourse with "only" two dudes. She thought I would forgive her and it’d bring us closer and like it’d be good, so we could talk about those experiences together. After this, she moved for an "open" relationship—which made it all okay because she'd get to retroactively apply our "open" status.
I was young, in love, and heartbroken so I said yes because I was desperate to hang on to her. Then she broke up with me when I hooked up with someone else after like four months of "open" status and her having like a primary friend-with-benefits because I "liked her too much."
Gridlock
grayscale photo of woman standing between two menPhoto by Jessica Felicio on UnsplashWas dating a girl in college and didn't think she was cheating. Another guy she was dating thought she was. He found my info in her phone and texts me about it. He wants to confront her. We both meet up at her place while she isn't home. He's a nice guy and we honestly got along pretty well for the half hour we talked before she arrived.
She saw us both as she drove up and the look on her face was shock. By the time she got out of her car she was crying but didn't say a word to us. We went in her apartment and her roommate acted as the mediator but it didn't really get anywhere. Me and the other guy were pissed and wanted answers. We weren't getting any so we both gave her some choice words and rolled out.
It’s Either Me or Pop Tarts
A friend in college cheated on his girlfriend because she told him he had to stop eating pop tarts so he could lose weight, and he didn't know how to break up with her. When she found out, he straight up told her to her face that he couldn't give up pop tarts. I wish that was a lie, those things are pretty darn high in calories.
Neal, Neal, Neal
My GF was getting ready for work one day and I noticed she was wearing makeup which she hadn't done in a very long time. I sarcastically asked her, "Is Neal working tonight with you?" to which she said, “no, I just wanted to look nice today.” I dropped her off at work and who was there? Neal, that dirty rat. Like in other stories, sometimes it's the abrupt change in a subtle thing about a person that sets off the warning bells.
Well This One Is a Little Weird...
white and blue dream catcherPhoto by Dyaa Eldin on UnsplashI've never been able to explain it, but I saw my ex cheating on me in a dream. I saw everything. I told her about it and she freaked out. (To be fair, I described the dude's bedspread, fish-tank, and his room. I have never been there).
Wouldn’t Wait
I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't going to sleep with him and told him as much, so he was having sex with a girl who I knew from church youth group in his car before he would come hang out with me. She wanted him all to herself, so she showed me the messages—I was dumb and didn't believe her because this wasn't the first time she had stirred up drama like this.
Sure enough, his car was outside the church in the back corner of the parking lot and he was waiting for her. Although, TBH, I was mostly just dating him because I hadn't been kissed yet and was tired of waiting for someone I could see myself falling in love with. I was angrier over the humiliation of being cheated on more than because I loved him.
Star-Crossed Lovers
My ex was very into astrology. She cheated on me, and blamed it on the timing of the great American eclipse of August 2017.
Delete From Contacts
man standing on top of rock mountain during golden hourPhoto by Joshua Earle on UnsplashEx-girlfriend. Woke up one morning and it was plastered all over her Snapchat story of her making out with her ex at some Christmas party. This was the day after a very intense romantic evening with her...Was a tough day to get through for sure. She decided to completely drop contact with me after with no answers as to what happened, but thank goodness I'm out of that train wreck now though...One month on and I'm doing much better.
You Haven’t Evolved Enough to Come up With a Better Excuse Than That?
When my husband and his mistress got caught, they tried to invoke an evolution argument and convince me that "humans aren't meant to be monogamous." I'm like, "if you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place? You could have joined a free love hippie commune at any time if you wanted to. But that's not what you did."
Misplaced Pep Talk
I remember I was brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror, and I thought to myself, "I finally feel like I can trust her! I don't think she has been unfaithful at all to me. That's a good feeling!" I went back to the computer where we had a Skype session going, and I told her my mirror thoughts. I was so proud of myself because I can have trust issues.
She immediately went silent and started biting her lip. I was like "ooooofff course.." She ended up telling me that things got rekindled with her ex, and they started hooking up again. It was just the worst because we were in a long distance stint of our relationship. We broke up, and she got back together with him, and then wanted me back, and then wanted him back. I'm not even sure where it all stands now, but we don't communicate.
Betrayed by Your Own Family
men's gray suit jacketPhoto by Scott Webb on UnsplashMy dad told me. 5 years later. On the morning of my wedding to another woman. After I dumped the cheater for unrelated reasons. And my entire family pushed for me to get back together with her. AND THEY KNEW SHE WAS CHEATING.
Life is Too Short to Waste on Guys Like Sam
My best friend was in the hospital having emergency surgery, during which she almost died. Her family told her boyfriend, Sam, about her situation. He never responded or showed up to see or ask how she was doing. He then proceeded to cheat on her with some girl from high school, claiming, “She didn’t answer my texts for two whole days!!” Yeah, because she was nearly dead, you jerk!
Tripped up
I was gone for a week for work. Got back to my building after a flight home and had no ride. She forgot to come pick me up. I finally got a hold of her, came to pick me up half drunk, went back to our house, I was unpacking and turned around and she had her hair and makeup done and just said "I'm going out, see ya" and left. This was after I had been gone for a week.
The next day was Friday, she had got home after I went to bed and left for work before me. I got home, and she was already gone, and had texted me and said she was going to her friend's house to hang out for a house party for the weekend. I didn't hear from her again for two days despite calling and texting her. She got home late Sunday night and told me she "lost her phone in the couch.”
I told her this wasn't working, and she needed to leave. She packed a bag while I cracked a beer on the couch. A couple days later, my friend emailed me a boatload of pictures from the weekend she disappeared, all of her and the guy she was cheating on me with. He had posted them on his Myspace that Sunday evening. She actually continued to mess up things for me for quite a while after this, financially mostly, but eventually, I got free of that disaster and moved on happily.
Good Thing She Didn’t Call Your Bluff
man in gray crew neck long sleeve shirt standing beside woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by Afif Ramdhasuma on UnsplashShe kept deleting all her texts... I got suspicious and told her I had a cool program on my PC that picks up all texts wirelessly. Confronted her saying I had seen them on my PC, she admitted it without me seeing a thing.
Get Thee to a Dentist
One morning, I went to brush my teeth and my toothbrush was wet. I found that odd, so I asked my girlfriend if she had used the blue toothbrush, and she said “yeah” all casual. I said that the pink toothbrush was hers, and she played it off like she didn’t know. I suddenly realized that we had been using the same toothbrush for a few weeks, and it kind of grossed me out. That started a very small argument. I went to work, as did she, but she didn’t come home that night. The next morning, I called her out and she admitted that she slept with another guy who "didn’t think she was gross."
Silence Does Not Equal Consent
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me when I fell asleep. She said since I wasn't responding when she asked if I would be okay with it, she assumed I was. Wack!
While You Were Healing
man covering face with both hands while sitting on benchPhoto by Christian Erfurt on UnsplashOh man I have a winner. I had surgery on my testicles due to a possible tumor (it wound up being benign), so I'm recovering that evening in bed. My girlfriend (long-distance) visited me to take care of me. All is going great, except for my crotch hurting and my wearing of a diaper—but hey, I had just come back from Afghanistan, so life was still pretty sweet.
My girlfriend offers to make me some food. Sweet. So she asks me to look up a recipe on my phone. I can't find my phone—so she tosses me hers. Well, let me tell you, in the midst of me looking up a great Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe, a message from my friend Ryan flashes across the top of the screen. I can't make it out, but it looks an awful lot like sex.
I'm like, "Oh Ryan, what are you giving a hard time to my girlfriend about," So I click the message, if only to relay what I presumed was a joke to her. Well, let me tell you, the joke was on me. Those two had been going to Bonetown, USA, while I was deployed. They talked about me being gone as a sexcation. My girlfriend asks if I found anything good.
I'm like "Oh heck yeah." Now, I show her the texts. She denies anything happened. Which is, well dumb—so me being a man of dignity, kick her out of the apartment and send her on her way to Georgia. Wearing adult diapers, I kicked her out of my place. Honestly, I just wish I had found out after I had eaten some Cordon Bleu.
Love Is Not a Game
I'd finished doing the dailies on my WoW character, and I knew he wasn't going to be home for a while so like many times before (with his permission) I logged into his account to do dailies for him. Then the PM's started. Very explicit PM's. Not only was he cheating on me in a game (with loads of people, cybersex in WoW, eugh). But it got worse.
There was one girl who was talking about things outside the game too. I admit I played along for a while to see what was going on.After that, I told her who I was. It all ended rather badly, between her and I, him and I, and him and her.
Be Careful Who You Message
I was dating this dead beat guy for about 2 years. I lived on my parents' property and so did he, for free. One day while I was at work, I go on break and I get a FB message from a guy I barely know. It said "I don't know how you feel about this, but it bothers me." I click it and see a picture. At first I was thinking it was spam and almost deleted it before enlarging it (seemed like one of those click bait titles that hijacks your account).
Something made me decide to click it anyway. When I click it, I see a screenshot of a FB convo between my bf and his gf. He was hitting on her, telling her how much of POS her bf was and how he would treat her so much better than that. He told her not to tell anyone about the convo. Well, sucks for him because the girl immediately showed her bf, who showed me.
Ha! Judging by the time stamps, this conversation took place the previous night at MY house on MY laptop (it was the only way he could have this conversation). Needless to say, I left work early, went home, kicked him out of my place, and made him homeless. Oh well.
Less Than Immaculate Conception
pregnant woman wearing red long-sleeved dressPhoto by freestocks on UnsplashI know this is cliche and I've definitely complained about it before, but coming home from a 12-month deployment to a black baby when we're both white were strike one and two. Strike three was her telling me she had black relatives (whom I've never met) so that could be what happened, sure. Doesn't matter what excuse you have, though, there isn't a magical 12 month gestation period. Makes me very angry.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
I was married for six years and caught my husband cheating. His response was to just shrug and say, "I got nothing." That was it.
The Final Destination movies are not good for those who have any phobias, as the franchise taps into all your fears.
In spite of the films making audiences paranoid about cheating death, it does make you think about our mortality and of the many times we may have had brushes with death.
No matter how hard the characters tried to avoid it, they could never change their fate because any attempt to do so would only result in death striking back with an unforgiving vengeance.
However, there are exceptions.
Strangers online reflected on their evasiveness when Redditor yuckyduckph asked:
"How did you almost die?"
Beauty grows in nature.
But don't be fooled, for risks abound.
Potent Bloom
"Got lost in the Bolivian rainforest for three days after consuming tea made from angel trumpets."
– Leftsuitcase
"I have Angel's Trumpets (Datura) in my back yard, and everywhere in my neighborhood / around town. I don't know how many people realize how toxic they are. In some areas in S America, people refuse to even stand near them. They're quite beautiful in full bloom, tho. NS if all the species (inc hybrids) are dangerous. Cue: botanist."
"I've never understood you people who go drink random plant potions in the jungle, far from hospitals, with 'shamans' 'n' sh*t. Half of my friends have done that. But another friend of mine recently died that way. He was super smart and cautious, too. Had a family. Always be skeptical, wary, and weigh out risks.""
– manlypanda
Warning Ignored
"I was leaving a restaurant with my boyfriend one night and saw a couple in the parking lot messing around."
"She was dancing seductively with a big bunch of Oleander flowers gripped in her teeth."
"For those that don’t know, Oleanders are very popular for hedges, hard to kill, but are extremely toxic. You’re not supposed to trim them without gloves."
"I stopped in a panic screaming at her to spit it out while telling her boyfriend they were toxic and she should go to the ER immediately."
"They thought I was kidding and told me to basically f'k off. My boyfriend dragged me away and said we should get out of there because we didn’t want to see how it ended..."
– flavius_lacivious
Rare Respiratory Attack
"Caught an incredibly rare fungus that attacked my lungs and would have attacked my other internal organs. Took two years to diagnose because it’s so rare. Only patient my respirologist has ever seen with it. Dropped to almost 80 pounds. I could literally feel myself slowly dying."
"Infectious aspergillosis. Extremely rare. Almost everyone has some aspergillis in their system because it’s everywhere."
– KathAlMyPal
The ocean holds many secrets.
Dangerous Stunt
"In the fall of '91 I was in Hawaii and dove into this blow hole in Hanauma Bay. (That's not me in the video, but it's the blow hole.)"
"My buddies were doing it and it was no problem for them."
"The problem for me was that I was a lot bigger than them, so my lats got stuck as I was face down in the hole."
"The concept is you time the waves and dive in just as the water recedes and the flow pulls you through."
"Well, I got stuck and had to wiggle my way down, ripping up the skin on my lats and ribs."
"So I finally get down and I have to swim like a mofo, but it's too late...the next flow is coming in."
"I'm at the edge, almost there, so I have to grab onto the edge with both hands like a kidnapping victim holds the doorframe so as not to be abducted."
"The wave cycle is not very long, but when you're doing something new and panicking, it feels like an eternity."
"I've heard they have closed off this portion of the bay."
"I know I don't need to do that again!"
– saleswhisperer
Massive Rip Tide
"I swam under the diving rock at Waimea Bay and almost didn't make it to other side (smoker). Same day they dug out the lagoon channel to make the endless wave. My 'friend' took me out to learn bodysurfing the shorebreak and it was about 8 foot sets which were HUGE and heavy. We go to swim out and get absolutely pummeled and pulled out. Then trying to get back in we got sucked into that lagoon river outflow and it was basically a massive rip tide. In about five minutes we were 400 yards out in the bay with out a boogie/surf board. We had to swim east towards sunset Bay to get to shore. I still can't believe we made it."
– Brutusmatic
Place To Avoid
"Exploring tidal cliffs, accidentally slipped into the water. Went in sideways, narrowly missed hitting my head. Just barely clawed my way out of the rough tidal zone; it was way over my head & was so choppy I was being slammed against rock. Please be careful around tidal cliff zones!"
– beachblanketparty
Grateful For Jellyfish
"When I was about 14 I slipped on a tidal cliff hit my head and went into the water, luckily I didn’t go unconscious but I was caught in the under current and couldn’t see which way was up because it was so f'king cold and dark (Oregon coast, pacific ocean), and just as I was about to give up I saw all these tiny jellyfish above me and swam towards them, got me to the surface and I was able to make it back to shore because I was a pretty strong swimmer at the time."
"Thank you Jellyfish"
"Several years later two people I know were hit by a sneaker wave very close to the same spot and they both died being crushed up against those rocks."
– CurseofLono88
Things don't get any better on terra firma.
Nearly Skewered
"T-boned by a cement truck. Guy at the tow yard couldn’t believe I was still alive."
– psharp203
"I can't believe you are still alive either, I've watched two of those cave a road and heard horror stories about them tipping. You good? Got all ya bits n pieces?"
– FlyerOfTheSkys
The Major Rescue Operation
"Went on a high elevation alpine hike on Mt. Rainier with an out of town friend. At around 10,000 feet we decided it was time to head back down the mountain. About five minutes into the descent I was in an uncontrolled glissade across a snow field."
"Even though I knew better, after I was unable to slow myself I put my feet down. That's when my crampons bit into the snow and stopped me, sending all of the force into my legs. I heard an unsettling pop and felt excruciating pain. As soon as I stopped I looked down and saw that the heel of my left boot was where the toe should have been."
"I had severely broken my leg and I was at least a 3 hour hike down with sunlight (and warmth) declining. We were not equipped to be there after dark. Within a couple of minutes I could feel my extremities beginning to tingle. Was going into shock. Fortunately, I had some glucose gel packs which I began to suck on. And that seemed to keep the shock at bay."
"Which was a good thing because the radiating pain was quite enough. Our cell phones weren't working well but another stroke of luck was that I had put a GMRS radio in the bottom of my pack and as such we were able to get word out on the radio that we were in trouble and needed help."
"Ham radio operators heard us and relayed our position and the details to the rangers. The National Park Service couldn't get a helicopter that was willing to fly to that elevation so late in the day (on a Sunday in early October). So they had to gather a party of climbing rangers to come get me."
"A couple of other climbers on the way up the mountain really saved me by giving up their climb and assisting me, covering me with sleeping bags and making tea while one of them went back down the mountain to meet the rangers coming up. Shock and hypothermia very likely would have done me in that night if they hadn't happened upon us and helped."
"It was pitch dark and freezing cold by the time the rangers arrived four hours later. They strapped me into a litter and had to carry me off the mountain. Unfortunately, the climbing rangers are not EMTs and do not dispense meds. So even though they were doing all of the work on the climb down it was absolutely excruciating for me. It was almost 9 hours between the time of the accident and the time I checked in to the emergency room."
– cjboffoli
The one time I casually got certified as a scuba driver was when I was in Cozumel, Mexico, I almost drowned.
I went exploring in an underwater cave, where I probably shouldn't have gone as an amateur diver. I remember swimming upwards and smacking my head pretty hard on some rock work. I felt like I was about to pass out.
I tried my best not to panic, which probably saved my life. I slowly found my way out of the darkness and eventually out of the waters. I felt dizzy the rest of the day.
Yeah, I haven't gone scuba diving since.
