Sometimes it feels like adult humans completely forget how to act their age. When you see toddlers with better manners than the forty-year-old lawyer, you know humanity is a mess. Now granted, sometimes people are in situations where their emotions take their common sense hostage, but more and more it feels like society is just starting to live in that stasis.
For example, if your order is wrong, don't throw a tantrum or food, simply send it back. If someone cuts you off in line or on the highway, don't chase them down and scream racial slurs, send them peace for their own lives. The list goes on. Let's go through a little of it.
Redditor u/doyoushrubclick wanted some adults out there to listen up and realize... people are watching, they asked... What is the most immature thing you have ever seen an adult do?
Hello Karen...
Karen GIF by moodmanGiphyA customer literally hung out in the middle of our store and started screaming "DOES ANYONE WORK HERE?!" when the only employee in her current line of sight asked her to wait till she finished with another customer first.
It's Wrong!
My husband got a sandwich thrown at him by a middle-aged woman because he apparently "made it wrong" according to her arbitrary standards that she failed to disclose before ordering the sandwich. We later saw the same woman on a viral video yelling at the cashier in a Starbucks because some customers in the Starbucks were speaking Korean.
My husband also got the police called on him by a 30-something man for not giving him a free pickle.
Poor Woman...
My manager had two dudes blow an airhorn in her ear after she leaned out the window to hear them better. Almost blew her ear drum. Same manager also had to report a dead body on shift, call an ambulance for a suspected drug user, had a sandwich thrown at her many times and was generally abused by customers and other managers.
Customer Dearest
Mommie Dearest Quote GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphyI saw a grown man throw his burger at the cashier at McDonald's because it had onions on it and he didn't like/want onions.
So Ignorant
I had a customer recently complain to me that they were, and I quote: "Absolutely sick and tired of all these companies using COVID as an excuse. They need to pull up their boot straps and get their sh!t together and get to freaking work."
I want to say I was baffled by their ignorance, but it's par for the course right now and the handicap on the game keeps getting higher.
Veggie issues
Having my vegetables weighed at the supermarket, and some guy cuts in line and just plonks a zucchini on the scales to be weighed (I'm in China and line cutting is a huge issue here). I don't say anything. I simply pick up the zucchini and hand it back to him. He throws it on the floor and storms off.
Forget that guy!!
Exactly at 4...
Probably not the MOST immature thing I've seen but it's what came to mind. I worked in a hot dog joint that was actually pretty popular but it closed at 4 o clock every day on the dot. Exactly at 4. We would prep for closing 30 mins in advance, keep enough food out to sell if someone came in before closing and then spend 5 mins after 4 finishing up and then leave for the day.
Well, one day my manager (great gal) and I were the only ones there.
No customers, so we get all our work done and some more and then close the signs. Manager is counting the drawer when this dude barges in. I recognized him because he had been parking RIGHT in front of the store for a solid twenty mins and I assumed he was just waiting on someone.
Dude comes in (front door is only exit so we didn't lock it but the multiple closed signs were up) and looks around. My manager says, "Sir we are closed. You'll have to go elsewhere."
This grown a** man then POUTS, proceeds to STOMP HIS FOOT and say, "But I'm Hungry and I want to eat here!"
"Sorry, sir, but our food is up and the drawer is closed. No more sales." The way she spoke to him was fitting; like he was a toddler.
Then this dude just sighs real loud and says "Fiiiiinnnnneee I guess I'll starve."
Grown man. Like not exactly a boomer but older than my dad for sure. Old enough to not act like that. Some adults are entitled AF.
You Suck!
I Hate You Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphyIn whole foods. Whole foods worker drops and spills a tray of produces he's transporting.
Middle aged lady stops, looks me in the eyes and says (loudly so everyone can hear) "SUCKS TO BE HIM". Like we were all supposed to laugh at this guy trying to do his job. Forget that foolish lady.
The Cancer Card
So... my daughter is a cancer survivor. As we've been on this journey I've discovered parents of children with cancer fall into 3 broad categories.
- Parents who are in it for themselves.
- Parents who are in it for their kids.
- Parents who are in it for the community.
I should point out that last group makes up 98% of the people, but holy sh!t do those 2% split between groups 1 and 2 are literally a cancer.
I've seen parents finagle multiple make a wish trips for their kid.
Pull the cancer card to get free everything.. then bad mouth charities when the charity realizes they're grifters just using their kid for benefits.. your kid doesn't need 4 ipads..
Getting invited to meet professional athletes and then begging for autographs and souvenirs.
I've watched parents have a melt down because their kid wasn't on the front page of a flyer promoting an event.
Piss and moan because their kid got more time on TV then they did.
It's eye opening when you see how petty and exploitive people can be.
I WIN!!
donald trump snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyAdults arguing with children and then get even more mad when the child has a valid point.
"The director..."
The director of the company.
Someone asked him a work-related question. Because of this "distraction", he messed up the repair project, blamed guy asking question, and threw a wrench across the room. At someone else's head. For "distracting him."
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can work here. If you can dodge the blame for things you didn't do, then you can work here (until you get hit by a wrench or 3 write-ups, whichever comes first)."
"Shouted at an employee..."
Shouted at an employee to the point of making her cry because the employee ACCEPTED to refund the product...
"Had a temper tantrum..."
Had a temper tantrum because I was sitting in "her" seat on the bus.
"I'm in a wheelchair..."
I'm in a wheelchair and have been for all of my life. One old lady told me and I quote, "Don't worry, you'll learn to walk one day." My dad and I were baffled and didn't know what to say.
"Scream at her grandkids..."
Scream at her grandkids at the park because she wasn't paying attention and a basketball hit her.
"He refused to admit..."
He refused to admit that people liked some other guy better and didn't even show up to the party when the guy got promoted.
"I see adults pay thousands of dollars..."
I work in probate law. I see adults pay thousands of dollars to fight their siblings over trash. These items are not even of sentimental value, it's just to win some decades-old beef with a sibling.
"Ironically..."
Fast food worker here.
A couple of years ago we hired a 14-year-old girl to take drive-thru orders and run them out to cars. A few weeks into training she ended up making a few mistakes on an order in the middle of a rush. No big deal and an easy fix but my boss, a 40+-year-old grown adult, decided to yell at her in front of everyone and throw some plastic food trays at her.
She ran to the back of the restaurant crying and all of our kitchen staff stepped off the line mid-rush to comfort her and offer to be her job reference if she decided to walk out that night, which she did.
Ironically, my boss's fit ended up causing a major backlog of orders that night and we were all giving him hell the entire night for treating her that way. It was one of the few moments that I felt really proud of my kitchen crew for refusing to tolerate that s***.
"My uncle got irate..."
Was at a restaurant with my uncle and cousins from far away. First time visiting with them in years. At the end of the dinner, one of my cousins snuck off and paid for everyone as a nice gesture.
My uncle got irate yelling and complained that he wanted to pay his share because, and I s*** you not, he has a movie ticket points Visa card and he was close to getting a free movie. He argued and told off our cousin loudly in the restaurant over a few free movie points. He would not drop it until he got our cousin to apologise to him for costing him movie points.
I don't think those cousins are going to fly down again any time soon.
"Eventually..."
When I worked in the bakery at Whole Foods, we had a customer who kept asking us to make banana muffins with A LOT of pecans on top for her - but only a few at a time, like two or three. In general it was a request we could accommodate, but we had a few considerations we had to account for, like the fact that if we made them and she didn't pick them up we couldn't sell them to anyone else because pecans weren't on the ingredient list.
The problems started arising when she would call us while she was on the way to the store, expecting to pick them up when she arrived. She was about twenty minutes away and they took 45 minutes to bake. Even if she had called us while she was an hour away, we were on a pretty tight production schedule and someone would have to interrupt the work they had to get done that day for an unexpected special order for this one customer.
First, she got mad that we couldn't magically make them in twenty minutes because of chemistry. I was, unfortunately, the supervisor on shift when she called most of the time, so she'd keep me on the phone for fifteen minutes raging about how the customer is always right - even though she was factually incorrect in this circumstance. She started saying we should just make them her way all the time so that we always had them on hand for her. I explained to her that we could get heavily fined by food inspectors if we did that, but that only made her angrier because f*** the man, I guess?
Eventually, my team leader said that we had to put our foot down with her and tell her that she had to put in special orders two days in advance just like everyone else. When we told her this, she of course got like sputtering infuriated (along the lines of "How am I supposed to know when I'm going to want them?!?!"). We were able to just say "well management says so, sorry," and we thought that was that. She went along with it for a couple days, sending her poor mother to pick them up for her because she was too angry to step foot in the store - her mom always looked so apologetic.
Finally, though, she came in personally to berate my team about how rude and inconsiderate and generally s***** we had been to her. Then she asked to speak to our store manager, who had been made aware of the whole Banana Nut saga. He escorted her outside and told her she was banned from the store. We found out later that she had also been banned from the three nearest Whole Foods locations over this exact same set of circumstances.
"On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party..."
My mother-in-law doesn't handle stress very well, she tends to start lashing out at people and starting fights for no reason.
On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party, she started to lose it as we were running around getting everything ready before the guests arrived. She first cornered my wife and started freaking out over the thermostat and some other unrelated pointless crap, then found me and started a fight over the garage door (it needed oiling and I hadn't done it because I was busy setting up the party). Volume of the voice steadily increasing.
My wife marches up to her and actually sent her to her room to calm down, and she did it! She stayed up there for an hour while my wife and I finished putting up decorations. It is a memory I will cherish forever.
"I was a kid in a mall..."
I was a kid in a mall when I was able to shop by myself and saw a lady blow a fuse at some guy behind the counter. Calling him names and what not just losing her s***. He just puts up the palm of his hand and says, "Mam, I believe you are too irrational to deal with." And then just pivots 180 degrees not facing her and ignores her. Waits for her to leave and when she does, he just proceeds to say to the next person, "May I help you?" Like nothing even happened. I learned a lot from that guy in 1.5 mins.
"After three hours..."
Old job. One day, we had a huge tech overhaul they didn't prepare anyone for. Entire machines we're used to using were just gone, sometimes replaced, sometimes not. After three hours of literally everyone asking the manager how they were supposed to do their jobs now, he walked to the middle of the room and turned in a slow circle, screaming at the top of his lungs and gesturing wildly, saying, "EVERYONE JUST DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS F****** DO."
...So I went to my workstation and waggled my fingers in the air where a keyboard had been the day before.
"Not surprisingly..."
The parking garage near my work is a frustrating place. The monthly customers have a parking pass that lifts the gate to get in and to get out. The thing is, the pass and their sensor don't work. You have to creep up to where you think the sweet spot might be, wave your pass around, reverse and try again, curse a bunch, endure people behind you honking despite them going through the same thing..... frustrating.
Not surprisingly, I witnessed a grown man throw the most excellent temper tantrum I've ever seen. The gate wouldn't go up, and he just started screaming in his car and smashing on the horn, straight out of a movie. The worst part is is that the gate always seems to go upright when you reach peak rage. So he's yellin' away, and then the gate is just like "Alright, man. I'll open. Jeez."
"When I was in high school..."
When I was in high school, my boyfriend was planning on joining me and my friends for an indie movie night at my house. Boyfriend called me up to say that he couldn't make it because he had to watch his siblings, and I overheard his dad screaming, stomping, and yelling at the top of his lungs. He kept calling me a 'stupid little wh*re' and a 'f****** waste of time'.
I should mention that I was 14. Who calls a 14-year-old girl that?!
I ended up calling the police on him twice later; once when he punched his son in the face and another when he followed my mom and brother home. He wanted to 'teach her a lesson', we found out.
I don't wish pain on anyone, but if he died in a car fire I'd probably do a little dance.
"We called the police."
When I was working at Petco, I used to see all kinds of adult temper tantrums. People needed to take care of their animals but hated how much that costs. Of course, they would take it out on the store employees. People that wanted fish were the worst. They would try to get away with spending so little on fish and never wanted to clean their tanks or buy the stuff to do that. Then they wouldn't properly introduce new fish to their tanks and would bring in samples of their water that were just terrible and be pissed when they couldn't get another fish for free to replace the one they killed.
However, the biggest adult temper tantrum was from a guy that bought Flies Off (really cheap) in an attempt to get rid of fleas (relatively expensive). He used the whole bottle and came back expecting a refund because his dog still had fleas. He was told no and things went south quick. He was yelling by the check lanes about how he deserved a refund. Screaming at the manager in front of everyone making a huge scene. He then kicked over this spinning rack holding dog collars and yelled that he was going to come back and shoot up the windows. We called the police. He never actually came back, but what a total piece of garbage over like 5-10 bucks.
"He asked a clerk to come help..."
kevin smith dancing GIF by FilmStruckGiphyI was at the pharmacy around 8 pm, waiting in line behind an older lady. The pharmacist tells her she'll have to pick up her prescription tomorrow at 10 am because this location doesn't carry this particular medication. The following ensues:
Lady: I'll wait
Pharmacist: No ma'am, we physically don't have it in this store. You have to come back tomorrow at 10 am.
Lady: Let me speak to the manager.
Pharmacist: I am the manager, I'm the pharmacist and this is my store. I'm telling you, we do not have this medication right now.
Lady: Can you just give me one pill and I'll get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, we don't have any of the pills here.
Lady: What if I pay you for the cost of that one pill right now, and I get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, I can't give you one pill because we have zero pills in this store. You'll be fine until tomorrow at 10 am, I promise.
The woman proceeds to go WILD. She begins throwing stuff on the shelves onto the floor, stamping on them, screaming about how she will sue this pharmacy and how she's never seen such terrible customer service in her life. She even started kicking the partition between her and the pharmacist, threatening to go back there and fill it herself. It didn't even seem like she was upset about the medication itself, it was more that she didn't get her way and didn't want to come back. He asked a clerk to come help and the whole time, she's grabbing for things and throwing them onto the floor in fury. She gets escorted out and we could still hear her yelling outside.
"Then it gets bad."
A 60ish-year-old man was getting gas and the pump allows you to pay for a car wash at the same time. He adds the car wash to his bill.
Drives around to car wash, big huge large see from space type sign "Temp Out Of Service"
Goes inside starts screaming that this mother f***** tried to steal his $7.99. The guy explains that the ticket is good for 90 days and he's sorry. Slams his fist on the counter screaming that if the car wash was out of service the pump shouldn't have offered it to him in the first place. Demands a full refund including the gas for wasting his time.
Then it gets bad.
He starts calling the guy an ISIS member and throwing things off the shelves before storming out. Calls the guy all sorts of names. I thought his head may have exploded with all of the veins showing.
This man is my father. We don't speak anymore.
"We explained..."
I worked as a bra fitter in a department store. We had an older lady, probably late '60s with her rich old husband (80's) come into the store wanting to buy bras after she had 2 weeks earlier gotten a boob job. We explained that because of swelling she should wait to buy bras and she became so enraged she literally started yelling abuse at us and pushing over entire racks of underwear. Picture a thin, somewhat wrinkled woman in rhinestones, losing her s*** and tossing around undies. It was glorious.
"One time..."
I used to work at McDonald's. One time a guy came through the drive-thru and ordered chicken nuggets. We gave him his food and he drives off. A few min later, he comes into the store and runs up to the counter ranting about how we forgot his BBQ sauce. My manager meets him at the counter, apologizes profusely and gives him some BBQ sauce packets (extra too, maybe 6-7 packets). He proceeds to throw them at her and the rest of us workers behind the counter. We all had BBQ sauce splattered on our uniforms, on the walls, equipment etc. After he ran out of ammunition, he ran out of the store and drove away like a coward.
I was 15 then and I pretty much lost my faith in humanity.
"It was my last week..."
I worked in a grocery store and a woman asked me to slice her organic bread. She flipped out when she discovered that non-organic bread was also sliced on the machine. She stomped her foot and yelled, "But that messes up the organic integrity!" It was my last week working there, so I simply told her, "Ma'am, please understand, I'm not emotionally involved in the situation." She froze and just walked away with the bread.
"I told a grown woman..."
I told a grown woman she could not pet my service dog while he was working. She got herself so worked up she started shouting, and told me that if I didn't want people to pet my dog I shouldn't bring him into the grocery store. I expect this sort of behavior from young children, and I also expect their parents to keep them under control.
"Needless to say..."
I worked the front desk at a hotel a few years ago. A guest came to check in around 10 pm and asked if he could get a room with 2 beds (he booked 1 bed). I told him we were sold out of rooms with 2 beds. Before I could offer him anything else, he took the bowl of apples we had at the desk and threw it against the wall. Then he took his OWN laptop, threw it on the ground, and started kicking it around the lobby. Security came out promptly and told him he needed to leave, which obviously prompted more screaming and kicking. Needless to say, he didn't stay at the hotel that night.
"I work in a small boutique hotel..."
Hospitality industry nightmares. I work in a small boutique hotel with no security and a couple of years ago a guest had a nervous breakdown that lasted for about two hours. Her husband left her in the city center and she somehow couldn't get back to the hotel, started blaming us. Accused us all of being racist because she's Iraqi, accused the taxi driver of wanting to assault her, got in my face to the point I thought she was going to hit me. She was screaming so loudly the other guests locked themselves in their rooms. It was the worst thing I have ever witnessed from a human being.
"When I worked at Starbucks..."
Oh good lord. When I worked at Starbucks there was a very well-dressed man who came in and ordered a latte with the following customizations: whole milk, no foam, 200 degrees. We had just run out of whole milk, which I told him and apologized for. He didn't get S***** with me or anything but was sort of weird and soft-spoken. Okay, whatever. So I handed his cup down the line for his drink to be made. 200-degree no-foam lattes are a bitch to make, but my best barista was on duty so I wasn't worried at all. She hands off his drink. He takes the lid off and looks at it.
Customer: "I said no foam."
Barista: "Oh, I'm sorry, I must not have been paying attention. Give me one moment and I'll remake it for you."
Customer: "No, it's fine."
The customer walks away in the middle of my barista explaining that it would only take a few seconds to correct his drink. Suddenly, but also very silently, he takes the lid off of his drink and pours it all over the condiment bar in a sweeping motion.
Not really a temper tantrum, but obviously the dude had some very VERY weird ways of dealing with dissatisfaction.
"When I told her this..."
I'm in retail, so I witness my fair share of adult temper tantrums, but ever since I became a manager it's 10x worse because now I'm the one that gets called up to deal with the tantrums. A few weeks ago a woman wanted to return a curling iron that had clearly been being used for years and wasn't even a brand that my store sold so she obviously had no receipt and no original packaging, meaning it wasn't eligible for a return anyway whether or not it's something she had bought at our store.
When I told her this, politely, of course, she puffed up and asked to speak to the manager. Okay, I'm a manager, but the store's general manager will be here tomorrow if you want to leave your number and I can have her give you a call. Nope, not acceptable, she wants cash for it today. Even if I somehow was able to accept the return (my system literally won't let me) it would be store credit only, never cash. I tell her this, and she flips the f*** out.
Screams at me (literally, not figuratively), tells me she's calling the cops and corporate and the Better Business Bureau AND the attorney general (wtf are they going to do about it?!), calls me a wh*re, and then she tells me karma is going to bite me and I'm going to have a stillborn baby. Which was really fun to hear considering I'm currently nine months pregnant. All because she couldn't return her used curling iron for meth money. I had no doubt in my mind she was on some sort of substance, but the significant amount of teeth missing from her mouth tipped me off that it was meth she was after, and you obviously can't pay your dealer in-store credit.
"I was an intern..."
This was back in 2010 or so.
I was an intern at an ad agency in Boston and commuting into the city every morning. I'd get off at North Station and then transfer to the orange line. That stop has a decently large entryway.
One day, the woman ahead of me as I walked down the stairs had a large folder in her hands. She was reading what looked to be a fairly technical financial or legal document, and you could tell she was really stressed out about it. Like, rubbing her temples, cursing under her breath, etc.
Anyway, we get through the turnstiles and are about to head down to the train platform and she stops and just kind of looks at her stuff...and then screams at the top of her lungs I HATE WORKING!!
Then she starts sprinting back and forth and screaming (in a crowded T station during rush hour, mind you) I HATE WORKING!!!
She does this for about 30 seconds or so before eventually tossing her file up and the papers filling the air. She then sprints back up the stairs out of the station.
The wildest part was people paused for like two seconds then went back on their way as if nothing happened.
[deleted]
The Crush
smash it with a booster! GIF by Candy CrushGiphyCry when I jokingly told them that Candy Crush has crashed and lost all their level data.
COOKIE!!!
Back when I worked at a bakery a grown woman came back in a few minutes after picking up her order and she baseball threw the whole package at the cashier I was working with, luckily she dodged though it almost knocked the bread wall over.
This bakery made giant oreo-like sandwich cookies shaped like butterflies as part of the normal menu, and where called Chocolate or Vanilla Butterflies depending on the flavor.
Around easter the bakery made cookies with rainbow pastel frosting in the shapes of flowers, bunnies, eggs, chicks and butterflies, they where called Rainbow Bunny Cookies or Rainbow Egg Cookies...you get it.
They are also either chocolate or vanilla flavored.
So the lady called in an order for 2 dozen of each flavor of Butterfly Cookies. The order was filled accordingly, however the customer didn't know she had to specify the Rainbow Butterfies and instead of asking us to exchange pr something she stempts assault and ruins 48 3inch in diameter cookie sandwiches.
How High?
A guy down the street from me growing up, built a huge fence, like 10 or 12 feet high on one side of his front lawn and not the other. He said he hated his neighbour so much he didn't want to risk ever seeing him.
"invading her privacy"
I had a woman absolutely lose her mind with me because she thought I was "invading her privacy" at the bank by looking at the screen, which had nothing on it but a screen with the teller in the upper-right corner. (It wasn't like most banks where you interact with a teller in-person--you use some kind of video-chatting service to do whatever you need to do unless you do need to meet in-person with the teller.)
In reality, I was looking at it because my mom had sent me to wait in line and cash her check while she met with another teller about her debit card and I had absolutely no idea how it worked and didn't want to seem awkward in front of the teller (social anxiety sucks ass). Didn't even look for more than 5 seconds and I could care less about what she was doing, but that didn't stop her.
I feel sorry for all the employees working at the bank that had to step in and get involved and try to get this woman to calm down. And I mean all the employees. All six of them currently working at the time (it was near closing time).
Eventually the woman stormed out and peeled out of the parking lot with her husband in tow, and we apologized to the teller my mom was speaking with, who was pretty chill about the whole situation.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
remote control raymond GIF by TV LandGiphyMy husband and I were bickering over what to watch which led to physically (play) fighting over the remote. That bastard threw it into the next room cuz he knew I was too lazy to get up to get it.
You're 40!!
Playing against a 40+ year-old man in a WHFB tournament who got upset at some horrendous rolls and threw his own models across the store.
Useless...
Use a sharpie on a weather map to double down on a completely stupid and baseless claim that wouldn't have even gained him anything if it were true.
(Honestly, there are dozens of actions of our former White House occupant that could and should make this list.).
The Segway
I worked in a warehouse and my manager was the owner's son.
So this spoiled, rich, soft, white, country club man is being shown how to operate these new ridable order selectors we have. Basically a baby Segway with a basket for small boxes. He's standing on it and the sales rep from the company was explaining the buttons and about safety.
Obviously.
He reaches over to show my manager the buttons on the handle and my manager slapped the guys hand like he was a child. We all, including the sales rep, looked at my boss like he was outside of his mind.
Eat a hot dog...
My ex started screaming and crying when his dad wouldn't eat the hawaiian pizza (he didn't like pineapple on pizza, fair enough) that i paid for. My ex then decided to pack up the rest of the pizzas so nobody else could have any, and storm out. He didn't return that night so i had to stay in the spare bedroom at his dads, (this was a rural area and our house was like an hours drive away and we had been drinking).
He then told me when i made it home the next day he ate all the pizzas in a bush and then walked home.
Ex screamed and cried coz dad wouldn't eat pizza i'd paid for so then decided nobody was having any, stormed out and left me at his dads in the middle of nowhere and took all the pizzas with him. Dude had serious issues and i still think about the bullet i dodged to this day.
I Admit!
Nbc Gwen GIF by The VoiceGiphyThis is me. I remember I was pregnant and something on the banking website wasn't working. Over and over I kept trying and nothing. I got so pissed off I hit the laptop a couple of times with my hand. Hard enough because I broke the hard drive. Whoops. 🤦🏻♀️.
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Everyone, at some point in their lives, has managed to keep confidential information a secret.
Whether it was an individual's embarrassing past or someone else's behavior that you weren't supposed to witness but did, most people generally manage to show restraint by not revealing secrets.
Until they don't.
Sometimes it depends on how scandalous the secrets are.
But some are relatively easier to keep than others.
Curious to hear from strangers who've managed to be tight-lipped, Redditor MrBowls asked:
"What’s a harmless/non-serious secret you’ve kept forever?"
These Redditors did what they could to keep up with appearances.
Covering Up Mom's Habit
"My mom was a meth addict. So my siblings and I grew up with very little. Normally she would pull her head out of her a** enough around the holiday season to sign up with a church or charity to get us a food box and some presents. However by the time I was 11 she was so far gone we could go weeks without seeing her leave her room or her be completely gone from the house. I entered a drawing contest at my school around this time. I won a $100 gift certificate to our local mall."
"One day after making sure my siblings made it to school I played hooky and walked to the mall(about 3.5 miles) I bought my three siblings some presents(almost forgot to get myself something ended up buying some discounted body wash) then had them wrapped there at the mall before trekking home. I hid the presents in the crawl space till the 24th (I was right our mom did nothing) when my siblings were distracted by a movie, I snuck out and put the box of presents on the front porch before knocking and running away. I snuck back in the back door by the bathroom and heard my siblings yelling 'someone left a box on the porch that says Merry Christmas' I had also spent the last week before winter break going door to door asking for canned food donations, saying it was for a food drive at my church (I didn't have a church) so that we didn't spent the whole winter break hungry."
"I'm so glad all 4 of us made it out of our childhood, and not one of us took the same path as the woman who birthed us Edit:spelling."
– Beautiful_Ad1219
Keeping Up A Ruse
"My friend is a major, major, Death Cab for Cutie fan. They came to our city a couple years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the tickets to go. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated by it."
"I bought tickets. Two days before the show, I told her that the friend I originally planned to take couldn’t go, and would she please come with me? There was no other friend. Told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She of course accepted, and had the time of her life."
"She’s doing much better now, but every couple of Christmases or Birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because 'she knows how much I love the band.'"
"I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now it’s gone too far where I can’t tell her."
– chernygal
A Worthy Replacement
"First marriage to my late wife, on the day of the wedding, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out. My two best men went into overdrive and took a picture I had if the ring and went to I don't know how many jewelry stores explaining what had happened and if they had a ring that was similar."
"They went to this really great jewelry maker so said, 'I have something that is really close, give me a bit and I can make it perfect.'"
"He worked his a** off and got it done with about an hour to spare, plus the managed to get my window fixed."
"The three of us are the only ones who know. It stays that way! I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed and well I haven't stopped yet."
"He ended up telling my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. I did and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He is a great guy. He retired during COVID."
– UtahCyan
Nobody needed to know. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
Crafty Dad
"My mum is a health nut (with probably disordered eating) who wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was kid. When I was mid 20s, I bought a unit and my dad was helping me fix stuff up so I provided lunch. I said to him - bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches. It was then he told me his deepest secret, he had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty. And my mum still doesn’t. Poor dad has been retired for years though so not sure on the current cheese consumption status."
– rumblemumbles
Don't Pet Raccoons
"One day I came home late at night drunk and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house my dog attacked a racoon hanging around the area. I ended up wrestling my malamute and freed the racoon from his jaws."
"Here's the thing. I was drunk and the racoon kinda just stared at me infront of me and I decided to try and pet the racoon. I got maybe one pet in before it took a chunk out of my finger. I ran into the house leaving a trail of blood up to my brothers room for help. A sleepless night in the hospital and 4 consecutive rabies shots later was the result."
"Everyone asked me what happened and I just told them while I heroically wrestled my dog to save the racoon I got bit in the process. They still don't know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years year."
– August-thecow
Saving Dad's Life
"I was about 10 years old and was pretending to be sick to avoid going to school. This was the 1980's so the old-school, glass tube, mercury-filled thermometers were still a thing."
"My dad was getting ready to leave for work as I worked my magic to convince my mom to let me stay home for the day. Neither one of them was having it. I persisted."
"Out of frustration, my mom grabbed the thermometer and put it under my tongue. I knew it would read 98.6 and this was my only shot to avoid school for the day."
"Both of my parents stepped out of the room for a moment. I looked over and saw my dad's piping hot cup of coffee sitting on the counter awaiting his morning commute. I quickly dipped the thermo into the hot java."
"It instantly shattered emptying the toxic mercury into the coffee along with tiny shards of glass. I panicked. In my mind, there were only a couple possible outcomes. My dad dies of heavy metal poisoning and a lacerated esophagus. Or, I fess up to what I did."
"I could hear them coming around the corner about to return to the kitchen. At the last possible second, I swatted my dad's mug off the kitchen counter smashing it on the floor creating a coffee explosion in my mom's freshly cleaned kitchen."
"They burst in the kitchen aghast at the mess I created. I reply with a flurry of sorrys and apologize profusely for being clumsy. My dad is furious because now he won't have coffee on his way to work. My mom is pissed and she starts cleaning up the mess."
"In the chaos everyone forgets about my claims of illness. I slipped the remainder of the broken thermo into the trash and went to the bus stop saving my father from a horrible death--at least in my mind at the time. Until this day, I have never told anyone about this."
– from_the_interwebz
These anecdotes will warm your heart.
Encouraging A Splurge
"I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway, I won a coupon but she won the grand prize , a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant. My sister was a size 16, and desperately needed new clothes but would spend money on her baby grandkids and thin adult daughters. This was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself. It’s been 10 years. She’s doesn’t know."
"Edit: thank you kind strangers. I’m glad she doesn’t know what Reddit is, or she’d definitely figure this out !"
– Remarkable_Story9843
A Dying Mother's Legacy
"When my wife died, she had been working on 'special occasion' letters for all of our kids. Towards the end, the cancer had spread to her brain and she wasn’t able to focus on writing much, and when she did, it was often unintelligible gibberish. I tried to help her by taking dictation but she said it would mean more if it was in her own handwriting and wanted to finish it. She slipped into a coma and died after only getting through a handful of letters for our eldest child, leaving addressed envelopes only for our other two kids."
"I knew this would be devastating for the three kids, and possibly create conflict, so I paid a woman who specialized in calligraphy to literally duplicate my wife’s handwriting. I gave her the content, channeling my wife’s comments she made to me about what I thought would be meaningful words to our three kids when I had helped her dictate a few. And, as she wanted, I have passed them out on special occasions of wedding dates, birth of first child dates, first day of college dates, etc."
"My kids don’t know. They’ve even shared the ones she actually wrote with ones written by her surrogate and thus far the secret remains safe. I haven’t told anyone else this but Reddit and hope it stays here a secret as well. I’ll take it to my grave. I consider it harmless as it was her intent but cancer robs so much from people afflicted with it…including their best, most sincere attempts at helping others cope with the loss themselves."
"EDIT: Wow, thank you for all the awards and comments of encouragement gang. I’m humbled by some of the messages. Thank you."
– Walleyevision
As you see, secrets are complicated depending on the situation.
Some secrets are kept to not only respect the privacy of others, but also out of kindness to protect the positive illusion to disguise a cruel reality.
Can you be trusted with keeping a secret under any circumstance?
Redditor chrispdx was curious to hear which foods people eat in wildly different manners than intended, leading them to ask:
"What's a food that you eat completely different than it's normally eaten?"
No Method, Just Eat!
"Unfortunately for my health I eat most food like Kirby."- gildorratner
Deconstructed Pizza
"Not me (because its bonkers) but a friend."
"Scrapes all the cheese/toppings off the pizza and eats the slice first."
"Does this with several slices then eats all the cheese/toppings at the end."
"It makes me insane."- FantasticPear
From Bottom To Top
"I like to flip muffins upside down, remove the wrapper, and eat them from the bottom up."
"It's less messy, and the top is the best part because it's got better textures."
"Obviously, this does not work when they're dusted with sugar or have other toppings thrown on top."- NoMoreMonkeyBrain
time muffin GIFGiphyNo Time To Peel
"Not me but I saw someone go into an orange with the peel on and I almost passed out."- greenteaburnout
Fingers Be Damned
"I eat popcorn by darting my tongue at each piece the way a frog eats flies."- Lowerea
But Do You Eat The Crust?
"I eat sandwiches in a circular way.. like I spiral it."
"After 8 years together my wife finally noticed last week and asked wtf is wrong with me."- SkydivingSquid
sandwich GIFGiphyME TOO! (Honestly, I DO! And I Dip Them In Blue Cheese Crumbles...)
"I eat croutons out of the bag like chips."- Admirable_Cycle2
Saving The Best For Last
"Not in public, but when I'm home alone away from judging eyes..."
"...I eat the crust off my mozzarella sticks first, and then pop the whole blob of melted mozzarella into my mouth."
"So cheesey, so salty, so satisfying, and best of all: no sad flour flavor."- Fyraen
oreo GIFHonestly, Not A Terrible Idea
"I don't still do it because I have learned better but the packets of instant ramen that you cook in the Pan."
"I never knew it was supposed to be a soup with noodles."
"My dad taught me that you cook them down until all of the liquid is completely gone and you end up with flavored noodles."
"The noodles then would become a side for a liver sausage sandwich on rye bread, never anything else, just with that sandwich!"- mkrzemin
Much Less Messy
"I cut the corn off the cob with a knife."
"It all gets stuck in my teeth otherwise."- Plus-Statistician80
Personal Taste... Literally
"I prefer some fruits less ripe because I prefer sour."- BasuraIncognito
raisels fruit splash GIFGiphyHold The Crunch
"Capt'n Crunch."
"I suck all the milk out of every bite, then chew."
"It's basically like trying to chew sandpaper, but the sensory effects of it are super satisfying."- cthulucore
Time Consuming, But Worth It
"I meticulously remove the center of a Reese's peanut butter cup, consume all the peanut butter first without breaking the chocolate ring, and then eat the ring by itself at the end."- PetersWolf4212
Crunchy Munchies!
"Dry cereal."
"Love the taste of just the cereal & I dislike milk."
"Don’t like it when crispy foods get soggy, so I just eat dry cereal w/ a spoon & wash down with my coffee."- Confident-Bid142
Hungry Lucky Charms GIF by Dark IglooGiphyThere's a more than likely chance that someone will give you side-eye, or even scoff at you should you eat your food differently than they do.
As long as the food tastes delicious, that's their problem and not yours.
And who wouldn't agree that the top is the best part of the muffin?
Redditor Own_Championship7862 wanted everyone to share some off-the-wall facts, so they asked:
"What’s an unusual fact that most people don’t know?"
I have no odd and fabulous facts to share.
So teach me. I am a sponge.
Keep them All!!
Friends Infomercial GIFGiphy"When someone gets a kidney transplant they generally just cram the new one in and don't take out the old ones. So the person ends up with three kidneys."
Optimal_Towel
"They continue this with multiple kidney transplants too. Had a patient recently on her third transplant and yep, there are five kidneys crammed into her abdomen. Too risky to take any of the other ones out."
baconboy73
Body Works
"When going to surgery for a gunshot, we don't typically search for bullets. The body will encapsulate it to protect itself."
New-Inspector-9628
"As I remember Rene Pretre a worldwide famous surgeon talking about this: There's a lot more about the decision to either leave the bullet or do get it out. It depends on a lot of factors. In the old times, as medicine was not that good, it was a thing that they could not get the bullets out when it was in a difficult position inside the bodies. Today, it's different."
"Also, it depends on the bullet itself, not every bullet stays solid - a bullet can be halfway shattered without having the effect of a dumdum bullet, later in the process of healing it could still be that fragments get off and make problems. Today, it's also easier to prevent and treat infections, this was a big killer in the old times."
Diacetyl-Morphin
Growing and Growing
"I have recently learned that Lobsters don't display senescence which is the deterioration of the body as it ages. Their bodies are continuously growing and their exoskeletons get heavier and heavier, hence when they molt into a new exoskeleton it takes more and more energy to take off the old one."
"Eventually they die because one day they just go, 'Yeeeeeaaaah sooo like this exoskeleton is too heavy so imma just go meet Lobster God and head out from the mortal world.'"
"Now a thought... If a group of people helped a lobster shed it's exo- skeleton... And if said lobster kept growing... Technically, a giant lobster could be brought into existence should the lobster not die from old age."
FunnyComedian8290
Get Out
"More eels swim out of the Bermuda Triangle than swim into it."
Optimal_Towel
"Most eel species breed in the Sargasso Sea - aka the Bermuda Triangle. There’s a type of seaweed that lives on the top of the ocean called Sargassum that turtles, eels, and a bunch of animals use as a breeding ground. Eels go there, lay their eggs, little silver eels babies pop out and go back home."
roseygrl98
Revolutions
Venus GIF by The TelegraphGiphy"A day on Venus (one complete rotation around its axis) is longer than a year (a complete revolution around the sun) on Venus."
GRL_1151
The galaxy is too cool.
We'll never know enough.
Head Butt Time
giraffes fighting GIFGiphy"The male giraffe will continuously headbutt the female in the bladder until she urinates. The male then tastes the pee and that helps it determine whether the female is ovulating. If she is, it’s business time."
hornypandey
Go Vanillla
"Wearing white wedding dresses only came into fashion after Queen Victoria started the trend. White isn’t meant to have any other meaning or represent purity as many people think. Before this trend, most brides just wore their best dress of any color as it was expensive to buy a dress just for the occasion."
week7
Active Ingredients
"I love when this question comes up because I get to talk about the thunder clappers."
"When the Lewis and Clark expedition was exploring the west of North America, their diet of dried meat left them constipated. They were all taking these pills called thunder clappers to make themselves sh*t. The active ingredient in thunder clappers is mercury, and historians can track the expedition because they left increased deposits of mercury in the soil."
KerchBridgeSmoker
Color Schemes
"Pink used to be a masculine color."
"During the height of the British Empire, the soldiers in the far reaches of the world donned their red coats in battle and patrol. The newer recruits would look especially sharp with a bold red color. The rugged war heroes though? Their coats were faded and worn into more of a pink color."
"If you saw a guy wearing a pink coat, odds are they have stories to tell with a thousand-yard stare. This became a desirable thing to show off your experience and grit. Hence pink was associated with combat prowess and ruggedness and became a masculine color during that time."
ChristIsLordAlmighty
War Incentives?
Ice Cream Elmo GIF by SésamoGiphy"In WWII, the American navy had barges with ice cream bars on them to visit soldiers in the Pacific after battles as a way of boosting morale."
Not-sure-wtf-I-am
Yuck!
"McDonald's engineered bubblegum flavored broccoli in an attempt to get kids to eat more vegetables.
"They still didn't want to eat it."
cmad182
I love broccoli.
I love gum.
I would not eat them as one.
We can't learn everything in school, and maybe that's a good thing—because these bizarre historical facts are too weird for a textbook. Like Abraham Lincoln's other assassination, Thomas Edison's little-known dark side, or Mozart's obsession with butts...and that's just naming a few. Strap in for this VERY strange ride.
1. Queen Elizabeth Had A Nasty Mouth
Although dental hygiene was not necessarily at its peak in Tudor England, Queen Elizabeth I’s fondness for sweets gave her pearly whites an even darker tone...in fact, her chompers were probably very black. More than that, since sugar was a luxury, some women then blackened their teeth both to emulate their queen and show off their wealth.
2. Thomas Edison Was Evil
The famous inventor Thomas Edison had a huge dark side not many people know about. For example, he used electricity to publicly kill animals. He wanted to show how alternating current was more dangerous than the "direct" current that he used. On one occasion, he used A/C to execute a rogue circus elephant named "Topsy" in front of thousands of people.
3. Alexander The Great's Mother Was Scary
File:Cassandre et Olympia-Jean Joseph Taillasson mg 8223.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Queen Olympias was Alexander the Great's mother, and she was even more ruthless than her son. On one occasion, she sent a captive enemy queen a cup of poison, a noose, and a sword...then told her to choose how she would die. According to history, the woman chose to hang herself, though she cursed Olympias to the very end of her life.
4. Napoleon Used His Wife As A "Womb"
Napoleon Bonaparte famously adored his wife Josephine, but few people remember the dark end of their love affair. Tragically, Josephine couldn't have children, so Napoleon made a hard choice: He divorced Josephine and took up with Marie-Louise of Austria. Napoleon reportedly told his blushing bride straight off, “It is a womb that I am marrying.”
5. Ernest Hemingway Almost Died In Back-To-Back Plane Crashes
In 1954, the macho writer Ernest Hemingway got into a plane crash. He miraculously survived, but that was just the start of the nightmare. When he tried to take another plane to get medical help, that plane exploded upon taking off. Hemingway managed to survive again. Talk about bad luck. Or wait a minute...actually, is that good luck?
6. King Edward VIII Was A Colossal Jerk
King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia,… | Flickrwww.flickr.com
King Edward VIII lost his brother Prince John at a young age from a severe seizure. The boy had suffered from epilepsy and other ailments for years, but Edward’s response was so disturbing, it’s impossible to forget. He referred to John’s passing as “little more than a regrettable nuisance.”
7. The FBI Knew About Pearl Harbor
The FBI ignored compelling evidence about the attack on Pearl Harbor because they didn’t trust the Serbian double agent Dusan Popov, who was apparently a gambling, lustful lush. Dusan's nickname around town was "tricycle" because of his infamous love of threesomes. Unsurprisingly, he was one of the inspirations for Ian Fleming’s James Bond.
8. There Were Original "Siamese Twins"
Two Siam natives, Chang and Eng Bunker, were American twins joined at the sternum. During the American Civil War in 1865, Eng’s name was drawn in a draft lottery, but not Chang's. There was little the conscription officials could do: The brothers were not only joined at the sternum, but their livers were also fused. Neither twin served in the conflict.
9. Ben Franklin Had Bodies In His Basement
File:Joseph Siffrein Duplessis - Benjamin Franklin - Google Art ...en.wikipedia.org
While renovating his home into a museum, researchers made a horrific discovery at Ben Franklin's house. They found 10 bodies in the founding father's basement. This led to speculation he may have been a serial killer. However, the bodies were more likely cadavers used for the anatomical studies of one of Franklin’s friends.
10. You Can Use Honey For Some Messed-Up Activities
King Herod, the tyrant king of Judea, had his wife, Mariamne I, preserved in honey after her death. Herod ordered her execution, but found her too beautiful to bury and so kept and preserved her body for seven years. Herod suffered from paranoid delusions, rage, and arteriosclerosis, but his death in 4 BCE came at the hands of a mysterious and agonizing illness that modern doctors are still not able to identify.
At one point, the pain was so excruciating, the king attempted to take his own life. The illness came to be known, among the Judean people, as “Herod’s Evil.”
11. Abraham Lincoln Cheated Death Once
Abraham Lincoln was almost killed two years before he was assassinated. Late one August evening in 1863, Lincoln rode alone by horse to his family’s summer residence. A private at the gate heard a shot ring out and, moments later, a bareheaded Lincoln clinging to his steed galloped into the yard. Lincoln explained that gunfire at the foot of the hill had sent his horse into a frenzied gallop, running so fast that it knocked his hat off.
The two men retrieved Lincoln’s hat, which had a bullet hole in it. Lincoln asked the guards to keep the incident quiet because he didn’t want to worry his wife...
12. Public Beddings Were A Thing
File:Catherine de Médicis - entourage de François Clouet.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Catherine de Medici was only 14 when she married Henri, the son of King Francis. And although she was young, the King and other older men insisted on watching the consummation of the marriage.
13. The Most Ruthless French Queen
The Tour de Nesle affair was a scandal in the French royal family in 1314. In it, Queen Isabella of England accused her sisters-in-law of adultery. The scandal led to the imprisonment of the women and the execution of their lovers. The lovers were then executed. Most histories agree that they were first castrated and then drawn and quartered.
14. Marie Curie Slowly Killed Herself
Marie Curie, the chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity, was completely in the dark when it came to the dangers of radioactive materials. Though she and her husband both suffered from chronic pain, neither considered that it was their radioactive substance-handling that was the cause. It was. Some of their original lab equipment is still so radioactive that we cannot safely view or study them.
15. George Bush Coined An Unfortunate Word
File:George H. W. Bush presidential portrait (cropped 2) (a).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
After George Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, the Japanese invented a new word: Bushusuru. This means to “do the Bush thing” or to “publicly vomit.”
16. Gandhi Liked To Tempt Himself With Young Women
Today we see Gandhi as a figure of peaceful protest and understanding. But there's a side of him no one knows. At the age of 36, while married, Gandhi became more and more obsessed with lust. In order to train and “perfect” his control over his desires, Gandhi would sleep undressed with young women. But one night, he committed an act so heinous that it made his own staff member quit on him forever.
Gandhi had performed this sleeping act with his own grand-niece named Manu. His stenographer left in disgust.
17. The Most Notorious Hollywood Eccentric
Howard Hughes was one of the most successful men of his time, producing many famous movies and dating Hollywood's most beautiful women. However, later in life, he became a complete hermit. Hughes spent his days in hotels, refusing to make eye contact with his aides. He also stopped bathing completely. Even more gross? He only cut his hair and nails cut once a year.
18. Nero Hated His Mother
File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
According to one ancient historian, the mad Emperor Nero tried and failed several times to kill his mother Agrippina the Younger, each time trying to up the ante. First, he tried to poison her on several occasions, but she always took an antidote each time. Then, he constructed a machine that would collapse her bedroom ceiling on her while she slept, but she caught wind of the plot and escaped.
Finally, he—seriously—invented a collapsible boat that would drown her while she was on a pleasure cruise. Reader, SHE STILL SURVIVED.
19. Grace Kelly Was A Homewrecker
Grace Kelly has a pristine, princess-like reputation in Hollywood, but nothing could be further from the truth. She had affairs with, and I quote, "everybody." She fell for so many of her older male co-stars that multiple biographers have wondered if Kelly had some daddy issues. There was Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, and Ray Milland, just to name a few. Milland's wife even called Kelly a "home-wrecker."
20. Victorians Had Impossible Beauty Standards
Although the hourglass figure has always held a special appeal across Western cultures, the Victorians took their obsession to a whole new level in their use of corsets. These waist-cinching devices, while successful in achieving a "wasp waist," had some major health repercussions. Besides causing fainting spells, which the era’s ladies unsurprisingly became famous for, the restriction on women’s lungs likely worsened potentially deadly ailments like pneumonia and tuberculosis.
21. Sweden Wasn't Always Peaceful
File:Verwilt - Erik XiV DSC6824.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Erik XIV of Sweden was super paranoid. It wasn’t unusual for people caught laughing, smiling, or whispering within Erik’s earshot to find themselves on trial for treason. Somewhat ironically, he passed in 1577 when someone poisoned his pea soup. We guess just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
22. Mary Shelley Kept Her Husband's Heart
Frankenstein author Mary Shelley had a pretty gross secret hidden away in her desk: her dead husband’s heart. When her husband, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, drowned in a boating accident, he was cremated, but his heart remained intact. Mary eventually took possession of it, and researchers discovered it in her desk when she passed a few years later.
23. King Henry VIII Had Royal Bottom Wipers
The infamous King Henry VIII employed four Grooms of the Stool, men whose job it was to wipe the royal bottom and attend to his other private needs. It was a position of great honor, but also—as one Groom soon discovered—incredibly grave danger. Henry VIII executed one of his bathroom staff, Sir Henry Norris, on trumped-up charges that he was sleeping with Henry's second wife Anne Boleyn.
24. Versailles Wasn't As Glamorous As We Think
Château de Versailles (Yvelines) | Le château vue depuis le … | Flickrwww.flickr.com
The legendary Palace of Versailles had everything—except enough toilets for everybody. Despite the villa’s luxury, Versailles simply didn’t have enough public water closets to accommodate Louis XIV’s huge court. It wasn’t uncommon for courtiers to pay each other for access to those precious commodes…or else, they simply went in the corner.
25. Mozart Loved Poop
Mozart was surprisingly obsessed with bathroom humor. Two of his songs actually talk about analingus. He also wrote letters to his family where he described his bowel movements in great detail.
26. King George IV Got A Brutal Revenge
King George IV hated his wife Caroline of Brunswick. When their only daughter perished in childbirth, George didn't even tell Caroline. She had to find out by accident through a courier.
27. Joan Crawford Once Gave Her Crush A Disturbing "Gift"
File:Joan Crawford in Humoresque, 1946 (cropped).png - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.org
Actress Joan Crawford once came on to her co-star Henry Fonda by making him a red sequined jockstrap.
28. A King Of Egypt Had A Disgusting Appetite
While many of Egypt’s citizens starved, King Farouk of Egypt reportedly ate 600 oysters a week. Not content with this, he also bought a candy red Bentley, then demanded that no one else paint their own cars red.
29. Jack The Ripper Might Have Been A Royal
For a long time, people thought Queen Victoria's grandson Prince Albert Victor was Jack the Ripper.
30. A Famous Comedian Hated One Color
File:Peter Sellers at home in Belgravia, London, 1973.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org
Comedian Peter Sellers hated the color green. He claimed it gave him “strange vibrations.” He not only refused to wear the hue, but he also refused to act opposite of anyone who did.
31. Russian Tsarinas Had A Naughty Addiction
Foot tickling was used in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries as a means of arousal. Many of the Czarinas (Catherine the Great, Anna Ivanovna, and others) loved it. It was so popular that eunuchs and women were employed as full-time foot ticklers.
32. The Royal Mistress Who Was A Dominatrix
Dancer and royal mistress Lola Montez carried a whip around wherever she went and lashed it out on anyone who displeased her, including members of the public, bored theatre-goers, and critics who gave her bad reviews.
33. Dracula Had A Dirty Little Secret
File:Bela Lugosi as Dracula.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Dracula actor Bela Lugosi once had an affair with starlet Clara Bow, and commissioned an undressed portrait of the actress. He then displayed the large painting prominently in all of his homes from 1929 until his passing—including in the houses he shared with his last two wives.
34. Einstein Was Stupid In One Way
Albert Einstein's secretary once got an anonymous call asking where Einstein lived. The secretary declined to respond. The caller then admitted he was Einstein himself, and that he had forgotten his address.
35. Isaac Newton May Have Been A Virgin
Though Isaac Newton lived to be 84, he never married. Some even believe he never lost his virginity.
36. This Medieval Queen Was A Grave-Robber
File:Joanna of castile with her children.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Shortly after her beloved husband's passing, Queen Joanna of Castile ordered his body exhumed, had the casket opened, jumped to his side once again, and kissed his dearly departed feet. She then carried his casket everywhere with her.
37. Cleopatra Had Wild Parties
Cleopatra wasn’t just a powerful queen; she was also a party girl. She created a drinking club known as the “Inimitable Livers” with her husband Marc Antony. The club would feast and drink heavily and then go out to play pranks on unsuspecting citizens.
38. People Actually Slept In Coffins
Actress Sarah Bernhardt had a peculiar obsession with death, and from the tender age of 15 onward, she sometimes slept in a custom-made, satin-lined rosewood coffin.
39. Caligula Loved His Horse WAY Too Much
File:Antonio Tempesta (1555-1630) (after) - Caligula (AD 12–41 ...commons.wikimedia.org
The Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula made his horse a senator.
40. The Prince Who Was Raised Like A Girl
Philippe, Duke of Orleans was the brother of King Louis XIV. To prevent Philippe from threatening his famous brother, Philippe's mother Queen Anne of Austria raised him to be very feminine, calling him “my little girl” and even urging him to dress up in frilly, feminine clothing as a child.
41. History's Most Shocking Sideshow
Tarrare was an 18th-century French showman. His party trick? He obsessively ate everything, and lots of it. His circus act had him eating, among other things, whole live animals, a basket of apples, and even rocks.
42. A "Huge" Claim To Fame
File:Porfirio Rubirosa, circa 1954.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
1950s international playboy Porfirio Rubirosa had such an infamously large "package," Parisian waiters used to call their 16-inch pepper mills "Rubirosas."
43. Tsar Ivan Really Was Terrible
When Tsar Ivan the Terrible saw his pregnant daughter-in-law walking around in clothing that he didn't approve of, he absolutely snapped. He viciously attacked her, causing her to miscarry. When his son came into the room, Ivan also ended up killing him in a fit of rage.
44. But He Wasn't The Only Mad Russian
Anna, the "Mad Tsarina" of Russia, once tormented one of her hated courtiers by locking him up in an ice palace for the night. Before that, she made him pretend to be a chicken, sitting in her ante-chamber and "laying" eggs.
45. King Tut Was The Product Of The Siblings
File:King Tut Burial Mask (23785641449).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
King Tutankhamun passed at the tender age of 18. Some researchers believe he died from genetic disease, due to the fact his parents were brother and sister.