People Describe The Most Immature Thing They've Ever Seen An Adult Do
How hold are you?
Sometimes it feels like adult humans completely forget how to act their age. When you see toddlers with better manners than the forty-year-old lawyer, you know humanity is a mess. Now granted, sometimes people are in situations where their emotions take their common sense hostage, but more and more it feels like society is just starting to live in that stasis.
For example, if your order is wrong, don't throw a tantrum or food, simply send it back. If someone cuts you off in line or on the highway, don't chase them down and scream racial slurs, send them peace for their own lives. The list goes on. Let's go through a little of it.
Redditor u/doyoushrubclick wanted some adults out there to listen up and realize... people are watching, they asked... What is the most immature thing you have ever seen an adult do?
Hello Karen...Karen GIF by moodmanGiphy
A customer literally hung out in the middle of our store and started screaming "DOES ANYONE WORK HERE?!" when the only employee in her current line of sight asked her to wait till she finished with another customer first.
My husband got a sandwich thrown at him by a middle-aged woman because he apparently "made it wrong" according to her arbitrary standards that she failed to disclose before ordering the sandwich. We later saw the same woman on a viral video yelling at the cashier in a Starbucks because some customers in the Starbucks were speaking Korean.
My husband also got the police called on him by a 30-something man for not giving him a free pickle.
My manager had two dudes blow an airhorn in her ear after she leaned out the window to hear them better. Almost blew her ear drum. Same manager also had to report a dead body on shift, call an ambulance for a suspected drug user, had a sandwich thrown at her many times and was generally abused by customers and other managers.
Customer DearestMommie Dearest Quote GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy
I saw a grown man throw his burger at the cashier at McDonald's because it had onions on it and he didn't like/want onions.
I had a customer recently complain to me that they were, and I quote: "Absolutely sick and tired of all these companies using COVID as an excuse. They need to pull up their boot straps and get their sh!t together and get to freaking work."
I want to say I was baffled by their ignorance, but it's par for the course right now and the handicap on the game keeps getting higher.
Having my vegetables weighed at the supermarket, and some guy cuts in line and just plonks a zucchini on the scales to be weighed (I'm in China and line cutting is a huge issue here). I don't say anything. I simply pick up the zucchini and hand it back to him. He throws it on the floor and storms off.
Forget that guy!!
Exactly at 4...
Probably not the MOST immature thing I've seen but it's what came to mind. I worked in a hot dog joint that was actually pretty popular but it closed at 4 o clock every day on the dot. Exactly at 4. We would prep for closing 30 mins in advance, keep enough food out to sell if someone came in before closing and then spend 5 mins after 4 finishing up and then leave for the day.
Well, one day my manager (great gal) and I were the only ones there.
No customers, so we get all our work done and some more and then close the signs. Manager is counting the drawer when this dude barges in. I recognized him because he had been parking RIGHT in front of the store for a solid twenty mins and I assumed he was just waiting on someone.
Dude comes in (front door is only exit so we didn't lock it but the multiple closed signs were up) and looks around. My manager says, "Sir we are closed. You'll have to go elsewhere."
This grown a** man then POUTS, proceeds to STOMP HIS FOOT and say, "But I'm Hungry and I want to eat here!"
"Sorry, sir, but our food is up and the drawer is closed. No more sales." The way she spoke to him was fitting; like he was a toddler.
Then this dude just sighs real loud and says "Fiiiiinnnnneee I guess I'll starve."
Grown man. Like not exactly a boomer but older than my dad for sure. Old enough to not act like that. Some adults are entitled AF.
You Suck!I Hate You Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy
In whole foods. Whole foods worker drops and spills a tray of produces he's transporting.
Middle aged lady stops, looks me in the eyes and says (loudly so everyone can hear) "SUCKS TO BE HIM". Like we were all supposed to laugh at this guy trying to do his job. Forget that foolish lady.
The Cancer Card
So... my daughter is a cancer survivor. As we've been on this journey I've discovered parents of children with cancer fall into 3 broad categories.
- Parents who are in it for themselves.
- Parents who are in it for their kids.
- Parents who are in it for the community.
I should point out that last group makes up 98% of the people, but holy sh!t do those 2% split between groups 1 and 2 are literally a cancer.
I've seen parents finagle multiple make a wish trips for their kid.
Pull the cancer card to get free everything.. then bad mouth charities when the charity realizes they're grifters just using their kid for benefits.. your kid doesn't need 4 ipads..
Getting invited to meet professional athletes and then begging for autographs and souvenirs.
I've watched parents have a melt down because their kid wasn't on the front page of a flyer promoting an event.
Piss and moan because their kid got more time on TV then they did.
It's eye opening when you see how petty and exploitive people can be.
I WIN!!donald trump snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Adults arguing with children and then get even more mad when the child has a valid point.
The director of the company.
Someone asked him a work-related question. Because of this "distraction", he messed up the repair project, blamed guy asking question, and threw a wrench across the room. At someone else's head. For "distracting him."
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can work here. If you can dodge the blame for things you didn't do, then you can work here (until you get hit by a wrench or 3 write-ups, whichever comes first)."
"Shouted at an employee..."
Shouted at an employee to the point of making her cry because the employee ACCEPTED to refund the product...
"Had a temper tantrum..."
Had a temper tantrum because I was sitting in "her" seat on the bus.
"I'm in a wheelchair..."
I'm in a wheelchair and have been for all of my life. One old lady told me and I quote, "Don't worry, you'll learn to walk one day." My dad and I were baffled and didn't know what to say.
"Scream at her grandkids..."
Scream at her grandkids at the park because she wasn't paying attention and a basketball hit her.
"He refused to admit..."
He refused to admit that people liked some other guy better and didn't even show up to the party when the guy got promoted.
"I see adults pay thousands of dollars..."
I work in probate law. I see adults pay thousands of dollars to fight their siblings over trash. These items are not even of sentimental value, it's just to win some decades-old beef with a sibling.
Fast food worker here.
A couple of years ago we hired a 14-year-old girl to take drive-thru orders and run them out to cars. A few weeks into training she ended up making a few mistakes on an order in the middle of a rush. No big deal and an easy fix but my boss, a 40+-year-old grown adult, decided to yell at her in front of everyone and throw some plastic food trays at her.
She ran to the back of the restaurant crying and all of our kitchen staff stepped off the line mid-rush to comfort her and offer to be her job reference if she decided to walk out that night, which she did.
Ironically, my boss's fit ended up causing a major backlog of orders that night and we were all giving him hell the entire night for treating her that way. It was one of the few moments that I felt really proud of my kitchen crew for refusing to tolerate that s***.
"My uncle got irate..."
Was at a restaurant with my uncle and cousins from far away. First time visiting with them in years. At the end of the dinner, one of my cousins snuck off and paid for everyone as a nice gesture.
My uncle got irate yelling and complained that he wanted to pay his share because, and I s*** you not, he has a movie ticket points Visa card and he was close to getting a free movie. He argued and told off our cousin loudly in the restaurant over a few free movie points. He would not drop it until he got our cousin to apologise to him for costing him movie points.
I don't think those cousins are going to fly down again any time soon.
When I worked in the bakery at Whole Foods, we had a customer who kept asking us to make banana muffins with A LOT of pecans on top for her - but only a few at a time, like two or three. In general it was a request we could accommodate, but we had a few considerations we had to account for, like the fact that if we made them and she didn't pick them up we couldn't sell them to anyone else because pecans weren't on the ingredient list.
The problems started arising when she would call us while she was on the way to the store, expecting to pick them up when she arrived. She was about twenty minutes away and they took 45 minutes to bake. Even if she had called us while she was an hour away, we were on a pretty tight production schedule and someone would have to interrupt the work they had to get done that day for an unexpected special order for this one customer.
First, she got mad that we couldn't magically make them in twenty minutes because of chemistry. I was, unfortunately, the supervisor on shift when she called most of the time, so she'd keep me on the phone for fifteen minutes raging about how the customer is always right - even though she was factually incorrect in this circumstance. She started saying we should just make them her way all the time so that we always had them on hand for her. I explained to her that we could get heavily fined by food inspectors if we did that, but that only made her angrier because f*** the man, I guess?
Eventually, my team leader said that we had to put our foot down with her and tell her that she had to put in special orders two days in advance just like everyone else. When we told her this, she of course got like sputtering infuriated (along the lines of "How am I supposed to know when I'm going to want them?!?!"). We were able to just say "well management says so, sorry," and we thought that was that. She went along with it for a couple days, sending her poor mother to pick them up for her because she was too angry to step foot in the store - her mom always looked so apologetic.
Finally, though, she came in personally to berate my team about how rude and inconsiderate and generally s***** we had been to her. Then she asked to speak to our store manager, who had been made aware of the whole Banana Nut saga. He escorted her outside and told her she was banned from the store. We found out later that she had also been banned from the three nearest Whole Foods locations over this exact same set of circumstances.
"On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party..."
My mother-in-law doesn't handle stress very well, she tends to start lashing out at people and starting fights for no reason.
On the morning of my son's 1st birthday party, she started to lose it as we were running around getting everything ready before the guests arrived. She first cornered my wife and started freaking out over the thermostat and some other unrelated pointless crap, then found me and started a fight over the garage door (it needed oiling and I hadn't done it because I was busy setting up the party). Volume of the voice steadily increasing.
My wife marches up to her and actually sent her to her room to calm down, and she did it! She stayed up there for an hour while my wife and I finished putting up decorations. It is a memory I will cherish forever.
"I was a kid in a mall..."
I was a kid in a mall when I was able to shop by myself and saw a lady blow a fuse at some guy behind the counter. Calling him names and what not just losing her s***. He just puts up the palm of his hand and says, "Mam, I believe you are too irrational to deal with." And then just pivots 180 degrees not facing her and ignores her. Waits for her to leave and when she does, he just proceeds to say to the next person, "May I help you?" Like nothing even happened. I learned a lot from that guy in 1.5 mins.
"After three hours..."
Old job. One day, we had a huge tech overhaul they didn't prepare anyone for. Entire machines we're used to using were just gone, sometimes replaced, sometimes not. After three hours of literally everyone asking the manager how they were supposed to do their jobs now, he walked to the middle of the room and turned in a slow circle, screaming at the top of his lungs and gesturing wildly, saying, "EVERYONE JUST DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS F****** DO."
...So I went to my workstation and waggled my fingers in the air where a keyboard had been the day before.
The parking garage near my work is a frustrating place. The monthly customers have a parking pass that lifts the gate to get in and to get out. The thing is, the pass and their sensor don't work. You have to creep up to where you think the sweet spot might be, wave your pass around, reverse and try again, curse a bunch, endure people behind you honking despite them going through the same thing..... frustrating.
Not surprisingly, I witnessed a grown man throw the most excellent temper tantrum I've ever seen. The gate wouldn't go up, and he just started screaming in his car and smashing on the horn, straight out of a movie. The worst part is is that the gate always seems to go upright when you reach peak rage. So he's yellin' away, and then the gate is just like "Alright, man. I'll open. Jeez."
"When I was in high school..."
When I was in high school, my boyfriend was planning on joining me and my friends for an indie movie night at my house. Boyfriend called me up to say that he couldn't make it because he had to watch his siblings, and I overheard his dad screaming, stomping, and yelling at the top of his lungs. He kept calling me a 'stupid little wh*re' and a 'f****** waste of time'.
I should mention that I was 14. Who calls a 14-year-old girl that?!
I ended up calling the police on him twice later; once when he punched his son in the face and another when he followed my mom and brother home. He wanted to 'teach her a lesson', we found out.
I don't wish pain on anyone, but if he died in a car fire I'd probably do a little dance.
"We called the police."
When I was working at Petco, I used to see all kinds of adult temper tantrums. People needed to take care of their animals but hated how much that costs. Of course, they would take it out on the store employees. People that wanted fish were the worst. They would try to get away with spending so little on fish and never wanted to clean their tanks or buy the stuff to do that. Then they wouldn't properly introduce new fish to their tanks and would bring in samples of their water that were just terrible and be pissed when they couldn't get another fish for free to replace the one they killed.
However, the biggest adult temper tantrum was from a guy that bought Flies Off (really cheap) in an attempt to get rid of fleas (relatively expensive). He used the whole bottle and came back expecting a refund because his dog still had fleas. He was told no and things went south quick. He was yelling by the check lanes about how he deserved a refund. Screaming at the manager in front of everyone making a huge scene. He then kicked over this spinning rack holding dog collars and yelled that he was going to come back and shoot up the windows. We called the police. He never actually came back, but what a total piece of garbage over like 5-10 bucks.
"He asked a clerk to come help..."kevin smith dancing GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
I was at the pharmacy around 8 pm, waiting in line behind an older lady. The pharmacist tells her she'll have to pick up her prescription tomorrow at 10 am because this location doesn't carry this particular medication. The following ensues:
Lady: I'll wait
Pharmacist: No ma'am, we physically don't have it in this store. You have to come back tomorrow at 10 am.
Lady: Let me speak to the manager.
Pharmacist: I am the manager, I'm the pharmacist and this is my store. I'm telling you, we do not have this medication right now.
Lady: Can you just give me one pill and I'll get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, we don't have any of the pills here.
Lady: What if I pay you for the cost of that one pill right now, and I get the rest tomorrow?
Pharmacist: Ma'am, I can't give you one pill because we have zero pills in this store. You'll be fine until tomorrow at 10 am, I promise.
The woman proceeds to go WILD. She begins throwing stuff on the shelves onto the floor, stamping on them, screaming about how she will sue this pharmacy and how she's never seen such terrible customer service in her life. She even started kicking the partition between her and the pharmacist, threatening to go back there and fill it herself. It didn't even seem like she was upset about the medication itself, it was more that she didn't get her way and didn't want to come back. He asked a clerk to come help and the whole time, she's grabbing for things and throwing them onto the floor in fury. She gets escorted out and we could still hear her yelling outside.
"Then it gets bad."
A 60ish-year-old man was getting gas and the pump allows you to pay for a car wash at the same time. He adds the car wash to his bill.
Drives around to car wash, big huge large see from space type sign "Temp Out Of Service"
Goes inside starts screaming that this mother f***** tried to steal his $7.99. The guy explains that the ticket is good for 90 days and he's sorry. Slams his fist on the counter screaming that if the car wash was out of service the pump shouldn't have offered it to him in the first place. Demands a full refund including the gas for wasting his time.
Then it gets bad.
He starts calling the guy an ISIS member and throwing things off the shelves before storming out. Calls the guy all sorts of names. I thought his head may have exploded with all of the veins showing.
This man is my father. We don't speak anymore.
I worked as a bra fitter in a department store. We had an older lady, probably late '60s with her rich old husband (80's) come into the store wanting to buy bras after she had 2 weeks earlier gotten a boob job. We explained that because of swelling she should wait to buy bras and she became so enraged she literally started yelling abuse at us and pushing over entire racks of underwear. Picture a thin, somewhat wrinkled woman in rhinestones, losing her s*** and tossing around undies. It was glorious.
I used to work at McDonald's. One time a guy came through the drive-thru and ordered chicken nuggets. We gave him his food and he drives off. A few min later, he comes into the store and runs up to the counter ranting about how we forgot his BBQ sauce. My manager meets him at the counter, apologizes profusely and gives him some BBQ sauce packets (extra too, maybe 6-7 packets). He proceeds to throw them at her and the rest of us workers behind the counter. We all had BBQ sauce splattered on our uniforms, on the walls, equipment etc. After he ran out of ammunition, he ran out of the store and drove away like a coward.
I was 15 then and I pretty much lost my faith in humanity.
"It was my last week..."
I worked in a grocery store and a woman asked me to slice her organic bread. She flipped out when she discovered that non-organic bread was also sliced on the machine. She stomped her foot and yelled, "But that messes up the organic integrity!" It was my last week working there, so I simply told her, "Ma'am, please understand, I'm not emotionally involved in the situation." She froze and just walked away with the bread.
"I told a grown woman..."
I told a grown woman she could not pet my service dog while he was working. She got herself so worked up she started shouting, and told me that if I didn't want people to pet my dog I shouldn't bring him into the grocery store. I expect this sort of behavior from young children, and I also expect their parents to keep them under control.
"Needless to say..."
I worked the front desk at a hotel a few years ago. A guest came to check in around 10 pm and asked if he could get a room with 2 beds (he booked 1 bed). I told him we were sold out of rooms with 2 beds. Before I could offer him anything else, he took the bowl of apples we had at the desk and threw it against the wall. Then he took his OWN laptop, threw it on the ground, and started kicking it around the lobby. Security came out promptly and told him he needed to leave, which obviously prompted more screaming and kicking. Needless to say, he didn't stay at the hotel that night.
"I work in a small boutique hotel..."
Hospitality industry nightmares. I work in a small boutique hotel with no security and a couple of years ago a guest had a nervous breakdown that lasted for about two hours. Her husband left her in the city center and she somehow couldn't get back to the hotel, started blaming us. Accused us all of being racist because she's Iraqi, accused the taxi driver of wanting to assault her, got in my face to the point I thought she was going to hit me. She was screaming so loudly the other guests locked themselves in their rooms. It was the worst thing I have ever witnessed from a human being.
"When I worked at Starbucks..."
Oh good lord. When I worked at Starbucks there was a very well-dressed man who came in and ordered a latte with the following customizations: whole milk, no foam, 200 degrees. We had just run out of whole milk, which I told him and apologized for. He didn't get S***** with me or anything but was sort of weird and soft-spoken. Okay, whatever. So I handed his cup down the line for his drink to be made. 200-degree no-foam lattes are a bitch to make, but my best barista was on duty so I wasn't worried at all. She hands off his drink. He takes the lid off and looks at it.
Customer: "I said no foam."
Barista: "Oh, I'm sorry, I must not have been paying attention. Give me one moment and I'll remake it for you."
Customer: "No, it's fine."
The customer walks away in the middle of my barista explaining that it would only take a few seconds to correct his drink. Suddenly, but also very silently, he takes the lid off of his drink and pours it all over the condiment bar in a sweeping motion.
Not really a temper tantrum, but obviously the dude had some very VERY weird ways of dealing with dissatisfaction.
"When I told her this..."
I'm in retail, so I witness my fair share of adult temper tantrums, but ever since I became a manager it's 10x worse because now I'm the one that gets called up to deal with the tantrums. A few weeks ago a woman wanted to return a curling iron that had clearly been being used for years and wasn't even a brand that my store sold so she obviously had no receipt and no original packaging, meaning it wasn't eligible for a return anyway whether or not it's something she had bought at our store.
When I told her this, politely, of course, she puffed up and asked to speak to the manager. Okay, I'm a manager, but the store's general manager will be here tomorrow if you want to leave your number and I can have her give you a call. Nope, not acceptable, she wants cash for it today. Even if I somehow was able to accept the return (my system literally won't let me) it would be store credit only, never cash. I tell her this, and she flips the f*** out.
Screams at me (literally, not figuratively), tells me she's calling the cops and corporate and the Better Business Bureau AND the attorney general (wtf are they going to do about it?!), calls me a wh*re, and then she tells me karma is going to bite me and I'm going to have a stillborn baby. Which was really fun to hear considering I'm currently nine months pregnant. All because she couldn't return her used curling iron for meth money. I had no doubt in my mind she was on some sort of substance, but the significant amount of teeth missing from her mouth tipped me off that it was meth she was after, and you obviously can't pay your dealer in-store credit.
"I was an intern..."
This was back in 2010 or so.
I was an intern at an ad agency in Boston and commuting into the city every morning. I'd get off at North Station and then transfer to the orange line. That stop has a decently large entryway.
One day, the woman ahead of me as I walked down the stairs had a large folder in her hands. She was reading what looked to be a fairly technical financial or legal document, and you could tell she was really stressed out about it. Like, rubbing her temples, cursing under her breath, etc.
Anyway, we get through the turnstiles and are about to head down to the train platform and she stops and just kind of looks at her stuff...and then screams at the top of her lungs I HATE WORKING!!
Then she starts sprinting back and forth and screaming (in a crowded T station during rush hour, mind you) I HATE WORKING!!!
She does this for about 30 seconds or so before eventually tossing her file up and the papers filling the air. She then sprints back up the stairs out of the station.
The wildest part was people paused for like two seconds then went back on their way as if nothing happened.
The Crushsmash it with a booster! GIF by Candy CrushGiphy
Cry when I jokingly told them that Candy Crush has crashed and lost all their level data.
Back when I worked at a bakery a grown woman came back in a few minutes after picking up her order and she baseball threw the whole package at the cashier I was working with, luckily she dodged though it almost knocked the bread wall over.
This bakery made giant oreo-like sandwich cookies shaped like butterflies as part of the normal menu, and where called Chocolate or Vanilla Butterflies depending on the flavor.
Around easter the bakery made cookies with rainbow pastel frosting in the shapes of flowers, bunnies, eggs, chicks and butterflies, they where called Rainbow Bunny Cookies or Rainbow Egg Cookies...you get it.
They are also either chocolate or vanilla flavored.
So the lady called in an order for 2 dozen of each flavor of Butterfly Cookies. The order was filled accordingly, however the customer didn't know she had to specify the Rainbow Butterfies and instead of asking us to exchange pr something she stempts assault and ruins 48 3inch in diameter cookie sandwiches.
A guy down the street from me growing up, built a huge fence, like 10 or 12 feet high on one side of his front lawn and not the other. He said he hated his neighbour so much he didn't want to risk ever seeing him.
"invading her privacy"
I had a woman absolutely lose her mind with me because she thought I was "invading her privacy" at the bank by looking at the screen, which had nothing on it but a screen with the teller in the upper-right corner. (It wasn't like most banks where you interact with a teller in-person--you use some kind of video-chatting service to do whatever you need to do unless you do need to meet in-person with the teller.)
In reality, I was looking at it because my mom had sent me to wait in line and cash her check while she met with another teller about her debit card and I had absolutely no idea how it worked and didn't want to seem awkward in front of the teller (social anxiety sucks ass). Didn't even look for more than 5 seconds and I could care less about what she was doing, but that didn't stop her.
I feel sorry for all the employees working at the bank that had to step in and get involved and try to get this woman to calm down. And I mean all the employees. All six of them currently working at the time (it was near closing time).
Eventually the woman stormed out and peeled out of the parking lot with her husband in tow, and we apologized to the teller my mom was speaking with, who was pretty chill about the whole situation.
D-I-V-O-R-C-Eremote control raymond GIF by TV LandGiphy
My husband and I were bickering over what to watch which led to physically (play) fighting over the remote. That bastard threw it into the next room cuz he knew I was too lazy to get up to get it.
Playing against a 40+ year-old man in a WHFB tournament who got upset at some horrendous rolls and threw his own models across the store.
Use a sharpie on a weather map to double down on a completely stupid and baseless claim that wouldn't have even gained him anything if it were true.
(Honestly, there are dozens of actions of our former White House occupant that could and should make this list.).
I worked in a warehouse and my manager was the owner's son.
So this spoiled, rich, soft, white, country club man is being shown how to operate these new ridable order selectors we have. Basically a baby Segway with a basket for small boxes. He's standing on it and the sales rep from the company was explaining the buttons and about safety.
He reaches over to show my manager the buttons on the handle and my manager slapped the guys hand like he was a child. We all, including the sales rep, looked at my boss like he was outside of his mind.
Eat a hot dog...
My ex started screaming and crying when his dad wouldn't eat the hawaiian pizza (he didn't like pineapple on pizza, fair enough) that i paid for. My ex then decided to pack up the rest of the pizzas so nobody else could have any, and storm out. He didn't return that night so i had to stay in the spare bedroom at his dads, (this was a rural area and our house was like an hours drive away and we had been drinking).
He then told me when i made it home the next day he ate all the pizzas in a bush and then walked home.
Ex screamed and cried coz dad wouldn't eat pizza i'd paid for so then decided nobody was having any, stormed out and left me at his dads in the middle of nowhere and took all the pizzas with him. Dude had serious issues and i still think about the bullet i dodged to this day.
I Admit!Nbc Gwen GIF by The VoiceGiphy
This is me. I remember I was pregnant and something on the banking website wasn't working. Over and over I kept trying and nothing. I got so pissed off I hit the laptop a couple of times with my hand. Hard enough because I broke the hard drive. Whoops. 🤦🏻♀️.
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Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinatecatholic the exorcist GIFGiphy
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleiaexercise push up GIFGiphy
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologisturuguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy
At Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy
Not The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343dating app GIFGiphy
If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
PromisesPlayers Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy
“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
"Does anyone know you're here?"
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Previously...canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy
"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Be SeriousShouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?
Happiness is relative.
The idea that money can't buy happiness sounds good, but the reality is money can buy many things that contribute to our overall well-being.
And isn't comfort happiness?
Reddit user Little-Two6210 asked:
"F*ck 'Money can't buy happiness' BS, what did you buy that made you so much happier?"
"My rice cooker."
"I always bought the cheapo $20 rice cooker and they’d under/overcook the rice and then eventually burn up and die."
"Saved up my pennies a few years ago and bought a nice Zojirushi model and it has been amazing. Absolutely love the Keep Warm function and the little song it sings when it starts/stops cooking."
"I was so impressed that I bought one for my mom who also loves rice with every meal. First she said 'oh honey it’s too expensive, take it back!'."
"Then she used it and refuses to 'give it back'. These cookers are absolute workhorses."
"I moved into my sister's old house (family land) when she moved in with her boyfriend and just assumed she'd be back 'any day now'."
"Well, I slept on a 'floor mattress'/cot for a year before I accepted that it was okay to start making it my home, bought sheets, pillows, blankets, everything and holy sh*t it changes how sore you feel in the morning."
"Same, except my dog is a cat."
"So much this. I really feel like the only unconditional love relationship I've had in my life has been with my pets."
"I realize that's kind of a pathetic statement, but I'm grateful to have found that type of love in some way."
"My first piano. It changed my life."
"For me it was my first acoustic. I had been playing for a decade on electric."
"Discovering how to use tone- and the beauty that tone carries- was magical."
"Flight tickets to Barcelona. I landed, had a blast, contemplated 'forgetting' to leave."
"Wandering around the city, losing myself in thought in the Gothic Quarter, sitting on a fontain's edge at a square."
"Barcelona is one of my favourite cities. I rarely go there because the flight is rather long, but Athens is a good subtitute for a weekend getaway."
"I ruined my teeth thanks to depression and poor self-care."
"Money paid for my teeth to be fixed and my confidence improved so much."
"Walking is dope."
"I don't have a lot of money so it makes me so happy when I buy anything."
"Like the other day, I got sushi, it was awesome."
"And I got a beautiful comfy beanie."
"Makes me so happy I'm wearing it now. Keeps me warm."
"When I was poor, like super poor, anything was the world to me!"
"My set of cheap pots and pans from Walmart, my first tv (small but awesome!) my first set of not donated sheets, my first new pillows, my first set of new flatware, a lot of firsts."
"My own apartment."
"Feel like my parents, siblings and myself get along better after everyone got their own place."
"Having your own space to just shut off and not be bothered takes such a huge load off."
"Time—help with housekeeping has been invaluable to keeping a sane household while working."
"Services...which to me is essentially buying time."
"So paying to have laundry washed dried & folded has brought me more joy than anyone could ever imagine. Or cleaning service for my house so that I can do other things."
"I've actually noticed that I'm much less grumpy when I don't have to do as much of my own house work."
"I can be so productive with other things I really need to do."
"What is one thing that is the great equalizer between rich and poor people? Time. No amount of money in the world can buy someone time."
"We all have 24 hours days and we will all eventually die. The one thing in this world rich people cannot buy is time."
"So they spend their money conserving time."
"It's why they travel in private jets, have chauffeurs driving them around, a cook who makes their meals, a cleaner for their home, and personal assistants to take care of mundane tasks."
"They cannot buy more time. Only use their money to conserve what time they do have."
"The most important thing money can buy is choice."
"With enough money you can choose to walk away from a sh*tty job or a toxic relationship."
"You can still walk away without money but it’s SO MUCH harder."
"Peace of mind.
"I grew up dirt poor."
"But I’ve had a pretty successful career. Unfortunately, my family has accumulated a lot of medical debt."
"And despite me having a low six figure income, we were living a low income life and worrying constantly about money and spiraling debt."
"The state I live in is very conservative, which translates to a general stance of 'f*ck poor people', despite being one of the poorest states in the country. So it took my spouse, who is a textbook case for the type of person for whom disability is intended, 7 years to finally get approved."
"After that, and refinancing the house, we’re no longer spiraling further into debt. We’re debt free except for the mortgage. And we’re actually growing our savings account."
"I can contribute to a retirement account now. And while we’re far from rich, the sheer relief I’ve been feeling for the last few months is just amazing."
What things have you bought that contributed to your happiness?
We've all heard that love and work do not mix, and we've definitely heard that we shouldn't take relationships or friendships with coworkers to the next level.
Between having our work, our jobs, our income, and maybe even our reputations on the line, there's simply too much at risk.
But maybe sometimes, the affair won't turn out quite the way we expected.
Redditor Nuff-Do asked:
"People who had sex with coworkers, how did that turn out?"
Rewarded with a Trip to Italy
"I was a young Airman at my first base in California and I worked with a girl (let's call her Sarah) who was way more attractive than anyone my small-town Missouri a** had ever hooked up with before."
"For some reason, she was into me. She was into a few other dudes too, but at the time it didn't matter because I was 19 and stupid and she was a few years older and far more sexually experienced than I was. We had sex a few times and sort of 'dated,' but it didn't really go anywhere and I was heartbroken but cool with it."
"This was right after 9/11, so U.S. military operations were starting to ramp up and Sarah got deployment orders. They didn't tell her where she was going, but she was on the hook."
"Her reaction to the news was to tell our Chief that she was pregnant with my kid so she didn't have to go. I knew she wasn't pregnant and just using it as an excuse not to deploy."
"The Chief came to me and asked if I'd go in her place. As I said, I was 19 and even though I was a little scared, I signed the dotted line and told him of course I'd take the deployment."
"It turns out, the 'deployment' was to a NATO base in Naples Italy where I'd be paid about 80 dollars per day per diem on top of my normal paycheck."
"As soon as Sarah found out where I was headed, she called the Chief and told him she wasn't pregnant anymore and would like to take the deployment."
"The Chief denied her request and I spent an amazing eight months in Italy, being paid more money than I knew how to spend and having the time of my life."
Watching Them Move On
"We met thru work and dated for one and a half years. She cheated with another coworker who is married. We broke up. She started to date a different coworker. Not the married one. She paraded that relationship in my face."
"Everything was great until it wasn't. It really f**ked over my self-esteem and self-worth for years. It sucked that I had front row seat to her moving on."
"I feel that last part. When my ex moved out, she did it slowly over the course of like a month. She came over every day and packed up slowly until she finally got everything."
"The worst day was when she finally came and took her cat. I still remember sitting in front of the door and crying for hours after she left that day."
"There's a band called Pedro the Lion that has this lyric, 'My old man always swore that hell would have no flame. Just a front-row seat to watch your true love pack her things and drive away.'"
"When I kicked my ex out this summer for having cheated on me, I gave her an arguably unfair timeline to leave before all of her possessions just went outside, and packed and moved everything for her to the garage overnight, since I couldn't sleep anyways."
"This is why. I simply couldn't handle those constant reminders and wanted it done and gone as fast as possible."
A Messy Breakup
"I had resigned and was leaving the company anyway but it was one of those classic hookups at a company party. We had fun for a while but then she decided to stop seeing me."
"I'm glad I had left the company by then; otherwise, things would have been messy."
A Huge Theft Ring
"I got fired and she got fired and all 20 guys she f**ked while we were dating were fired."
"I got fired under false allegations because she was my girlfriend and she was stealing from the store."
"She got fired for stealing from the store."
"The other 20 were fired because it was brought up that she was stealing and sleeping with managers and other coworkers while in a relationship with me. They thought that me and her were the center of a theft ring."
"Like, no... I don't steal so."
A Promotion for Everyone
"So my wife of over 10 years, who had cheated in the past and I forgave her, got a huge promotion at work which caused us to relocate."
"I guess she got tired of me because she kicked me out and we were getting a divorce."
"Four months later, I found out that a co-worker had a thing for me, so I took my shot. The sex was amazing. It could be that it’s been a long time for me since sex with the wife was basically non-existent for the last few years of marriage."
"Me and the co-worker have now been dating for over a year and I haven’t been happier. So for me, it worked out for the best. And the sex is still great!"
Too Many Options
"I worked at a casino as the only male cocktail waiter/bartender (roughly eight cocktail waitresses and four female bartenders). The floor was mostly women between the bar, servers, restaurant, and dealers."
"I slept with one of the cocktail waitresses for a couple of months even though I knew I had a bigger crush on her than she did on me. I also knew I didn't really want a relationship with her for a couple of reasons."
"Evidently, she told some people and gave me good reviews. After she quit and moved away, I had more interest than I really knew what to do with and kinda just went for it with anyone who showed interest that I was attracted to as I knew I had no more than a year left there no matter what happened. I ended up with four more of them over the course of a couple of months."
"One time on a shift, I looked around and all four were on the floor somewhere. All knew each other but I'm not sure any knew about the whole situation, and none were any false impressions of a relationship as far as I know so nothing bad came of it."
A Family Man
"Not me, but she was working in payroll and he was a security guard. One day, a coworker saw the security guard walking her to her car. Immediately, she was transferred to another branch. However, they continued to see each other."
"Soon after, they got married after finding out she got pregnant. In the next five years, they had three daughters, with me being the youngest. My dad ended up passing away from brain cancer when I was just a toddler."
The Downfall of a Friendship
"I had one good experience one bad. The first one we ended up dating for a year and a half. We had a ton of fun sneaking around at work, and even though in the end he totally broke my heart, it wasn't a bad experience."
"The second one was very bad. Do not recommend."
"I thought he would be safer because we were friends, so I figured communication and rules would be no problem. Instead, we didn't communicate at all because we were both so worried about hurting each other's feelings."
"It ended badly with major assumptions on both ends and now it's very awkward and uncomfortable."
"It makes me sad because honestly, I just miss my friend. While the experience can be fun, I don't recommend it."
A Suspicious Relocation
"Pretty fine. We worked at different locations in the company the first time we slept together, but we knew each other as she had trained at my location."
"One night we ran into each other at the bar and one thing led to another. A couple of months later, I ended up getting transferred to the location she was at and we just acted like it never happened."
"After a month or two of working together, we ran into each other again at the same bar, and history repeated itself."
"There was a slightly awkward moment a couple of days later when I had to find a way to give her back the necklace she'd left at my place without anybody noticing, but other than that, our working relationship didn't change at all."
Messy Feelings Everywhere
"First time: super fun but I got more attached than she did."
"Second time: kinda fun but she got more attached than I did."
"Moral of the story: don’t f**k coworkers unless you’re SUPER SURE."
"We dated for over a year and then one day she randomly decided to break my heart. Thankfully, we had stopped working together by that point. It still makes me tear up thinking about her, though."
Best Decision Ever
"We had an instant connection the moment she joined the foundation I had been working at for a year. We worked at the front desk together and we got to know each other very quickly."
"Neither of us enjoyed small talk and we would get angry emails from our unbelievably incompetent manager about the amount of laughter coming from the front desk. We got all of our work done, and then some, our manager just felt like she was getting left out. Which our manager was, but it was because she sucked."
"I worked from home four days a week before my new coworker started and a few weeks later she asked me why I was coming in every day. I told her something about training her how to answer the phones, which she instantly knew was bullsh*t (we got four calls a day, max)."
"The first time we hung out outside of work we told each other it would be a terrible idea to date. That lasted for about 10 days. The next time we hung out we slept together."
"That was a year and a half ago."
"We left the foundation after she told our manager that her 'management style' was untenable in an email. The two of us then called a meeting with her and we laid out a very well-planned strategy for departmental growth and change."
"Our manager nodded her head the whole meeting and told us how proud of us she was for taking ownership of our careers and how excited she was to implement our new plan."
"Three weeks later, they fired my coworker. They pushed me out, telling me that they no longer had a place for me (at my review the previous year, the CEO told me herself that she believed I had CEO potential)."
"We both have new jobs, she is a high school English teacher at one of the best high schools in the country and I became a private investigator."
"Her dad and I go to college football games together and our moms get lunch and do spa dates."
"We have been showing each other how to heal and grow as individuals and as partners."
"Right now, she's sleeping in my bedroom while I type this in the living room. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that she's the love of my life."
"Sleeping with my coworker is the best thing I've ever done."
"Marry this girl already."
Redefining the Coworker
"Pretty good. We have a kid together. Granted we'd been married for seven years before we became coworkers."
"She always wanted to teach at the same school as me. The school grew enough that it needed a dedicated English teacher. She has a master's in it so it worked out."
A Slow Transition
"We worked together for a couple of years and became close friends before we crossed the romance line one night after a lot of drinks. Honestly, it was and still is amazing. Happily married now over 15 years with two kids."
A Bartender's Love Story
"She's sleeping next to me, cuddling our cat."
"Turns out our chemistry working behind the bar together was also amazing outside of work."
We've all heard that love and work don't mix, and that we absolutely shouldn't get close to our coworkers, but from these Redditors, it seems that while things could get messy, sometimes it's worth the risk.