Everyone has new ideas, and everyone wants to leave their mark on the world. But more often than not when some newbie manager is brought in to take over, all want to focus is a total overhaul of every possible thing. That is never a good idea folks. Yes, by all means, fine tune what's already great and search for what can be better. But let's not try and reinvent the wheel and dismantle what is working just for your ego.
Redditor u/detonatingorange wanted to hear some of the best stories about the newbies who made a mistake or two when coming into the office by asking....
By changing management styles - basically everyday.
The classic "my door is always open".
The "email me first before coming into my office - have you tried working this out with your peers together, first?".
The "why do you think I called you in here" after every time I tell you to come into my office
The "I don't eat lunch with any member of the team anymore as they are my subordinates now"
The "Why doesn't anyone on the team treat me the same anymore? Why don't they like me"
The "Come see me at the end of the day 'just to check in' before you leave"
The "no seriously, coming to see me is now mandatory before you leave for the day"
The "email me when you come in and when you leave everyday"
The "why'd you take a 45 minute lunch break" - whilst going to 'Walmart' for 3 hours this morning and coming back with a God Damn Chipotle cup. Moots_point
cuz why not....
My old 'new' manager jumped on the job. First manager position. Proceeded to demoralize the heck out of our entire department to the point where she literally had to call us into a team meeting to group apologize for being such a moron, in front of our GM. Then continued to be a moron cuz why not lol. Valentines450140
The dumbest guy at my company was promoted to manager, until this day I don't know why and how. I was his direct subordinate among other colleagues. He was really fool, did no have the knowledge to work in the company. He started to arrive at 13:00 o'clock at the office, used to brag about how smart he was and how fast he become a manager.
The guy even started to use the company's vehicles which were destined for directors only. When the whole department collapsed he was just transferred to another area.
He was worst the Michael from "The Office" show. Never hated someone so much during my lifetime. Bored_npc
I was there 12 years by this point.
First time she met me she walked right past my desk and looked all over the work area to find something wrong. She started asking me if I knew how to do my job. I was there 12 years by this point. This was not an isolated incident and she acted this way to everyone. She never worked in the field but had been a manager previously. So it seemed like she was intimidated by people who knew their jobs. seriouslynothavingit
I worked as a cook in a restaurant in a country setting. American food, burgers, fries, some simple seafood/steak specials. Nice food, but simple and easy to prepare and filling portions for the price.
They lost their head chef on short notice and we were chef-less for a month or two. The new guy they brought in wanted to change everything. He wanted to redesign the kitchen(which it did need and which was planned). But then he started talking about getting rid of the burgers on the menu, getting rid of the deep fryer.
Started trying to sell these little vegetarian ornately-plated small dishes for high prices. Ordering little flowery garnishes and telling the cooks they were all going to need to buy their own $50 pair of plating tweezers. Started hiring, one by one, employees from his old restaurants, creating this weird social divide between his cult followers and the existing employees who know that a hard-working farm hand will not pay $18 for some steamed beats with herb goat cheese smeared on the plate.
Not many people were very happy..
He didn't last long.
I feel a little bad for those employees who jumped ship to follow him only to be let go when he was, maybe a month later. bisteccafiorentina
We had a new supervisor join us at the retail job I used to work at. His first impression on everyone wasn't great. He dressed up wayyy too much for what the job was (wearing a suit to a thrift store lol) and just kind of acted douchey. Bragged about the manager position that he had previously at a bar, which we all figured he must've been fired from. Immediately talked down to all the employees. The supervisor team lead felt iffy about him right off the bat, but the last straw was when he called her "kiddo." He didn't even last a week until we were all informed he had been let go. albertagenuinedraft
A former manager used their company phone as a hot spot to watch Netflix at home since they didn't have internet. This happened for their first month on the job, until the phone bill came in. Apparently, that one bill was for over $3k. MTSwagger
So, the plan was a go.
I had a manager named, we'll say Larry, when I worked for an airline. He only lasted a few months, but came in boasting about his prior experience with another company. Over time, he grew increasingly stubborn and it all culminated with one particular plan that he was convinced would "save" us by routing all of our baggage to a single conveyor belt line.
All of us supervisors--and I mean ALL of us-- explained to him that his plan was NOT going to work since we knew there were going to be 500+ bags for several flights in the span of a few hours coming down that line and we did not have the staff or the space to work on that belt and it was guaranteed to jam. We had the numbers, we had the on-the-ground experience, everything. I tried to talk him out of it in a last ditch effort since I was the one who had to physically make the change in the computer and he shut me down almost immediately.
So, the plan was a go.
It failed so spectacularly that not only did I immediately get a call and message from him on the morning of my day off (the "start" date), but his manager called me requesting that I make any necessary changes to remedy it, as well as several other high-up individuals. MegaPiglatin
Worked for a company that was owned by 3 individuals who built up an incredible business over about 10 years and sold to a large national company. One of the owners was technically the manager as well and was absolutely awesome. Treated the employees very well and was probably the nicest man I've ever known.
In comes younger new corporate manager to oversee office operations. He was hired about a month before previously mentioned owner was due to leave and learn from him. On his last day as owner/manager, he went around hugging each employee and saying his goodbyes. People were legit crying over him leaving.
New manager couldn't comprehend how the employees were emotional over this. Was making awkward remarks about how silly it was. Didn't take long to realize we were now working for an insensitive corporate schill who had no soul. FlipFlopsNPorkChops
The old CFO at my company worked from home, but gradually was convinced by the CEO to work more in the office. The guy was very traditional and very stern i.e. the workplace was not a place for idle chit chat, employees weren't to take many bathroom breaks, etc. We were told our attitudes were being observed.
In the span of 6 months, like 4 people had been let go for "not being a good fit". It got to the point where we felt if we didn't consciously smile and act with enthusiasm, we'd be fired. It felt like I was in a cult or something, and ended up leaving. jonahvsthewhale
Came in, took over a department, decided to get rid of people who were contractors, even if they'd been there for 3+ years. Didn't care what they did, just axed them. A month later, critical systems were failing and the people left there just shrugged. He'd axed the people who knew how those systems ran. Etgbdjkjf
Company I used to work for got bought out a few months after I left and the new owners did something like that. "We already have the software, what do we need programmers for?" And laid off the lot of them. Middle management, who knew exactly what the code monkeys were needed for, flipped out. They were only able to rehire about half of them, and then with significant pay raises and benefits.
And worse, this place was running on this terribly antiquated architecture that nobody learns or uses anymore. People able and willing to code on it (I wasn't, which was why I left) are few and far between, and the system is so sprawling and arcane that it takes years for new hires to get the hang of it. Dyolf_Knip
Best of luck.....
I worked part time remote for a web design Bootcamp that got bought by a huge corporation. Corporation decides they don't like part timers and fires us all. I'm like "how are you gonna do all the work of like fifteen part timers with two full time staff?" I am told not to worry about it.
Six months later, I'm asked to take on ten hours of grading per week because they're hugely understaffed. Sure! I liked the job and it's easy money. But now the one full-time lecturer for this program needs time off, and they need someone to sub for him. Oops, we all have full time jobs now. Best of luck. clocksailor
Bye bye Benny....
We had a dude I'm going to here call Benny. Benny had been a corporate dude and decided he wanted to run a location instead. Corporate agreed and gave him the location I work at.
It was clear almost immediately that Benny was a helicopter manager. He would show up unexpectedly and hover. He'd nitpick. He'd ask weird questions. He'd send out lengthy rambling emails about goals he had for us as a team.
One morning as my overnight was ending, he arrived unexpectedly, pulled me into his private office, and had an hour long conversation with me where he revealed he'd been watching me and that he knew I did video editing. I was creeped the hell out, but admitted that yes, it was something I enjoyed doing periodically as a hobby, alongside a bunch of other creative pursuits. He replied that he wanted me to make a music video starring coworkers to lift the morale of the team. I replied that I'd think about it and got the heck out ASAP.
My direct supervisor revealed that she had overheard him talking about firing the entire staff and rehiring from scratch. I told my girlfriend that I was considering quitting based on how the next team meeting went.
That evening, I got an email to the tune that Benny had been forced by corporate to resign. He had been caught acting like a sociopath and that in his 1 month tenure employee morale had reached an all time low.
It's been a few years since Benny left, but I remain paranoid about him still to this day. mxmnull
Guy gets hired as a supervisor, worked on a Disney cruise before so he thinks he knows how to run a bar. During his interview he points out to a few staff how they're doing minor things wrong.
Somehow he's hired and immediately starts making changes, getting mad whenever anyone does something other than his way. Meanwhile he's rarely seen on the floor, rather, he's in the office creating cocktail guidebooks while it's extremely busy at the bar.
Got into an argument one night where another supervisor who wasn't working at the time got a bit drunk and told him he never helps out and how everyone disliked him, he tries to get said supervisor fired. It backfires and everyone complains about him instead. This all took place in the span of a month. I quit shortly before he was fired. lockedlantern
People pushed back.
Had a manager get promoted who read a self help book about business communication and decided that is what we need. She hired them to give us a day long seminar at 8:30am-4:30pm on a Saturday. People pushed back. She responded by sending out an email that this is mandatory now and if you were going on vacation you have to show her proof of that. Then there was a couple of rambling emails about how she is trying to help us and can not believe no one would want to do this and that when her kids throw tantrums that they need guidance.
The day of the seminar the manager showed up in the morning to give us a pep talk. The person running the seminar asked if she was going to stick around today to see our progress. Manager said no because her weekends are family time with her and that is sacred to her. Then she said good bye and good luck and walked out the door.
Within weeks people were finding other jobs. In six months more than 70% of the people at that seminar were gone. Onid8870
Worked for a brokerage/investment banking place that had sized up rapidly from the lean, mean start-up days. I was around the 100th employee. Shortly after I started they hired a full-time office manager for the first time. Her first official act was to eliminate the free Snapple in the break room to save money.
I never saw anyone become so despised so fast. EVERYONE refused to comply with her direction after that, ignored her in meetings, just generally froze her out. She was gone in a couple of months. Missus_Aitch_99
On a Break....
Our team had a 15 minute break at 10am, we always have done. Our new manager arrived and it turned out this break wasn't actually official, so he stopped it happening.
The place very quickly fell apart, it basically required people ignoring the rules to get things fixed, working into lunch was very common or staying behind a little bit late to get a job done. So when this break happened we stopped going above our job description and did it to the letter.
They had to spend a fortune calling in contractors to fix things that we had been fixing but weren't supposed to, jobs got delayed constantly because we would pack up and leave to go to our lunch breaks exactly on time, or drop a job half way through to go home exactly at finishing time. Dr_McKay
We were a pioneer account. The account was a huge US telecommunications company that handed their department to be outsourced to our center, from another that screwed it up. We were excited.
For the first 6 months, we flourished, so much that the company thought it was a good idea to make our Operations Manager move to another location to get him to improve that.
So who replaced our OM? The old OM that handled the account at the other center who messed up. Basically ran the account to the ground. In less than 6 months.
Kept hiring more and more people. Only promoted people he liked. Job assignments weren't clear, people kept being reassigned. At the end we had over 500 employees, and he had to fire 300 of them because the account only needed 200.
The company suffered a lawsuit and lost the account. dambrucee810
We worked in teams of two on 8 hour rotating shifts. That meant there were 8 crew members in total. We split our duties between us to keep our workplace clean and properly provisioned. New manager decides to promote one in each team as a sort of supervisor. The obvious happened. The new supervisor says to his colleague that they should do x,y or z, colleague responds screw off that's what they're paying you the extra for. Ruined relationships for years. Gregormcc17
We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>
Complete And Total Taking Over<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>
Scene Of The Crime<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>
When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>
Not Hurting<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>
Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>
Escape<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>
If You Give A Pup A Shower<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>
Caught In The Act<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>
Shunned<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>
"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>
"I was already pretty cynical..."<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
"I used to daydream..."<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>
I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>
"Acting like a clown..."<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>
I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>
"To be fair..."<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>
"She got tired..."<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>
"Looking back now..."<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>
"The world is wider..."<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>
"I already knew I was quitting..."<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>
High school isn't easy.<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>
An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>
A Bare Bones Story<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>
Tipping Over the Edge<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>
Optics<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>
Always a Reason to Stay<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>
For the In-Laws<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>
A Sudden Shift<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>
Slow Fade<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>
Wise, But a Little Sad<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.