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Parenting is definitely not an easy task. Parents are responsible for the wellbeing of a tiny human from the time they're born until they grow up and move out on their own.

They're bound to make a few mistakes along the way. Some mistakes are definitely more hurtful than others, though.


Reddit user u/amklair asked:

"What are some of the worst parenting mistakes your 'well meaning parents' made while raising you?"

10.

Getting mad at me for saying "bad" words. Getting mad at me for swearing I can understand, but my dad once flipped out on me because he thought I said "penis." (I said pianist) But even if I had said penis, getting angry with a child for using the correct anatomical term for the male reproductive organ is f**king ridiculous.

-pmme_your_lbits

9.

They were pushing me to be "perfect". By "perfection" they meant the girl that:

never raises her voice, always does as she is told to, (is everyone's pushover)

has the best grades at school but never gets higher education or a job and goes straight to becoming a stay-at-home mom, (is smart but not feminist)

doesn't wear make up, doesn't go out with friends, (only women that don't care about their family do these)

spends all her life with her family as close as possible. (has social skills but only limited to relatives)

-DirladaDiraladada

8.

My parents made a lot of mistakes but I think the one that really fits here is praising me for being really smart. As long as I could show that I was smart, I got praised. Working hard didn't matter. Barely working at all didn't matter. Once I got older and actually started to struggle with a few things, it was like someone took a hammer to a bottle inside me labeled "self worth." My identity was based around being smart and just instantly understanding everything.

When that went wrong, I struggled. Working to understand something was an entirely foreign concept to me and just wasn't something I found myself capable of doing. If I couldn't instantly get or do something, I dropped it. I also felt like crud. I learned it was easier to just not try because trying and failing hurt a lot while not trying and failing didn't. I also managed to succeed in most things with barely any effort.

I dunno. It's stupid and hard to explain. Sorry.

-namenamesname

7.

On my 4-year birthday, my parents decided to baptize my brother. They had a big party with everyone from my family and stuff, and no one wished me a happy birthday. I know they didn't think about it at all, but it's something I remember very clearly, I cried myself to sleep that night...

-ketchupisasmoothie

8.

Holy crap was I sheltered. I was super sheltered to the point where when I got to the "real world", I had no idea what to do. Hell, I'm 28 & STILL don't know anything. I never got to hang with friends thus affecting my social skills, my mom would constantly degrade me if I couldn't figure out a problem even she couldn't do (for example, one of her favorite insults was "C'mon Chad, we're not re-inventing the wheel!" & yes, I am a Chad I might as well say.


Everything that we would do, always had to revolve around what my mom liked. It makes me feel like my hobbies are garbage & aren't worth the light of day. She constantly interrupts me when speaking just to talk to someone else, which makes my words feel like they're worthless, like something that holds no value.

It's made me feel......empty & to be honest, I hate talking about my feelings because I feel like I don't know how to describe them without sounding like an emo 16 year old.

-TheNekoMatta

7.

The clean plate rule and super strict diet. Now finish everything on my plate with compulsive relentlessness and have a really hard time moderating snacks. A neighbor once felt so sorry for me that she gave me a small bag of chips for my birthday. I hid under my bed and ate them. This does not lead to a healthy relationship with food.

-streamstroller

6.

Never explaining their decisions and reasoning. "I'm the mom, that's why." Never apologizing when they made mistakes. Showing love with material things. Teaching me to be so polite that I couldn't say no to anything or stand up for myself.

-egirl25

This. My mom's favorite was "because I'm the parent and you're the child". I swear I heard it at least once a day. All it did was make me rebel more/ probably do more dangerous things than I normally would've because I thought she was saying no just to be mean instead of explaining that certain actions could hurt me.

-kvrnbrch

5.

Telling me I was a good writer, then when I asked her to read things I wrote, being told "that has plot holes big enough to sail an aircraft carrier through". No further detail, no help, no identification of what exactly the hole was.

Fifth grade writing contest, I had been writing ongoing stories in a world I had created. Was gonna write up a new bit or recycle an old one in that world. Mom decided she'd write her own story in my world with my characters and make me turn that in. I didn't make it past the first round.

Gave her a story I wrote later on for her to look over. She gave it back, having rewritten it. All my complex sentences were reduced to subject verb object. The flow was gone, the tone was gone, just choppy words left. I hate everything I write now, but everybody tells me to keep doing it because I'm "good" at it.

-DraconicArcher

4.

My grandparents had the philosophy that if one kid misbehaved, all the kids got the same punishment. My mom has stories of coming home from some after school activity, having done absolutely nothing wrong, and getting spanked the minute she walked in the door, then sent to bed without dinner because her brother had done something that was completely unrelated to her.

How screwed up is that? At best, it pits your children against each other and causes them to act out toward one another to avoid being punished. Is that really what you want as a parent? A seven year old beating on his five year old brother to avoid having his own ass beaten?

-830_L

3.

Constantly upping the bar if I made B's then A's became the minimum. I watched my siblings once ,oh then I got to watch them every week. Nothing was ever good enough. I workout oh well your doing it wrong(I hated running). I try to pray and be active in my faith, I'm "too into it." (Really wasn't they just didn't like anything that told them no) All of this was to supposedly push me to achieve more and be stronger and instead I just gave up on trying because what's the point if getting B's which was really hard with my ADD wasn't good enough why bother trying for A's.

-gsp1991dog

My internal monologue: "why bother doing the best for a lot of effort, when I can do decently with a lot less effort, and get yelled at the exact same no matter the result?"

-just_a_random_dood

2.

Sometimes a kid just needs to be upset and have a parent listen and sympathize/empathize instead of approaching feeling negative emotions like a problem that needs to be fixed. My brother and I were never allowed to be upset or angry or sad without being just hounded to death about needing to just let things go and think positively.

-CamembertlyLegal

1.

I was one of those "model gorgeous" kids and my parents basically made my worth about my looks.

I now have an eating disorder and really low self esteem because I was taught my accomplishments didn't matter as long as I looked pretty.

-ThornyThong

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.

On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.

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Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

Image by Nguyen Dinh Lich from Pixabay

When I was moving on from middle school to high school my parents had me tested for the "gifted" program. By some miracle I passed and was accepted. And then I turned it down. Everyone was irritated. "This will pave the way for any college you want! You'll learn so much!" his path will set you up for life!" Every adult tried valiantly to sell me this merchandise but in my gut I just wasn't buying it. So I "settled" a level below, merely advanced classes. And upon reflection... it was the best choice I ever made.

Redditor u/dauntlessdaisy was wondering how far some in life got by asking... For those of you who were considered "gifted" in school, what are you doing with your life now?
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Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

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