How People Cope With The Fear Their Partner Might Cheat On Them
When singles finally find a romantic partner after what may have seemed like an eternal love drought, they make sure they put in all the effort it takes to keep that relationship going strong.
However, there are those who are convinced that the love they found is too good to be true–probably because they may feel they don't deserve it or because they have doubts.
That's the thing about those who don't trust a good thing when it happens. Their skepticism can be all-consuming and it can lead to self-sabotaging the relationship.
Curious to hear from those who struggle with the "what ifs" in their relationship, Redditor DinoNuggieVape asked:
"How do you cope with the fear of your partner cheating on you?"
A certain hobby is more likely to prevent wandering eyes.
Commitment To Knitting
"I’ve been cheated on by my only other long term partner beside my wife. I don’t worry about my wife because 1.) I trust her and 2.) having an affair would cut too much into her knitting time. Hell, I feel like 'the other man' when compared to yarn."
"As someone who crochets, I’m sure this is how my partner feels 😂"
"Mine sews. You're said the Perfect comment. I once complained to my wife about being second love. She sewed me a blanket, and it's now my most comfortable possession. Find the right one for you."
Fixating on the possibility is the bigger problem, according to these love experts.
"By coming to terms with the FACT that there is literally nothing you can do to control what another person chooses to do."
Find Your Self-Worth
"Too many people hang on to the idea of 'I can’t live without this person' love."
"Yeah, you can. Realizing you can exist on your own and be fulfilled. After that? You’ll realize you can survive a cheater."
Finding Independence In Love
"I can't live without this person"
"That's not love. It's obsession. Once you realize you don't need the other person to live, you can start to truly love them."
"This. I had two partners (possibly three, not sure on the last one) that cheated on me. The first one I know for sure. It feels absolutely soul wrecking. So I do know how it feels. But I do also know the signs and what to look out for. Investigating phones or emails or listening for hushed conversations aside, the biggest tell tale is in the personality change. It happens 100% of the time. That is at least from talking to other people about it has led me to conclude anyway. You can always tell. And if you suspect, you could well be right."
"I'm not Mr. Paranoid or anything, but the reality is if she's going to cheat on you, then it's going to happen. There is nothing you can do, if it's going to happen, you can't control it. What you can control however is your reaction to it. And mine is very simple. End of relationship, block contact, see you later. The second time it happened to me, I didn't even offer an explanation. Her friend contacted me at some point asking why I had cold cut her out of my life and how it was so f'ked up of me to do so. I simply responded that I knew she was screwing someone behind my back, to which her friend replied, 'Oh you know about that? Well it really doesn't matter, it's you she wants!' I don't think I actually responded, I hung up."
"Getting past that business for the second time was remarkably easy. She had a few things left at my place which went into the bin, hoovered my house, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, threw out the few bits in the fridge as I used to get some food items that she liked but I never used, total clean out. I didn't feel the need to go nail a new girl that instant, instead spent the evening playing some guitar and watched a movie. I was perfectly happy and was done with the whole thing in an evening practically."
The pain cuts deep, but these Redditors learned to move on.
Trust Goes A Long Way
"I’ve been cheated on by every partner I’ve ever had. I just got married 6 months ago to the only person I’ve ever actually trusted. It comes natural which is crazy… i do have moments where i het intrusive thoughts at random like 'what if…' but i snap myself out of it and remind myself how truly trustworthy this man is and how i know he loves me. A lot of commenters seem to not understand that being cheated on can cause a type of ptsd. It’s something you just work through."
"Agree, my ex cheated on me 16 years ago and I think I will always have some doubts. My wife, who I've been with over 12 years, has never once done anything that would make me think she would cheat on me, and I trust her completely, but that trauma from 16 years ago is is still there, rearing it's ugly head from time to time."
I find that being obsessed with the possibility of one cheating on another can manifest in ways that jeopardize a solid relationship.
It's more important to appreciate being in the moment when something is going well, whether it's a relationship or anything else applicable.
Because fixating on the "what ifs" can take up a lot of energy that could be better spent on enjoying a healthy relationship.
While your instincts are usually reliable, always remember that communicating a doubt that is becoming an obsession is vital to sustaining a trusting and respectful relationship.
Things That Make People Question Someone's Intelligence
As Forrest Gump famously quipped "stupid is as stupid does".
Forrest was right, as far too many people judged him by purely looking at him, which should not have been indicative of his, or anyone's, overall intelligence.
Even so, we've likely all been guilty of judging someone's intelligence based on a first impression.
Likely owing to something outrageous they said or did.
"What makes you instantly question someone's intelligence?"
One Shouldn't Always Be So Confident...
"Being confidently ignorant."- Tattooed-Tangoamanda tanen catwalk GIF by HULUGiphy
Learning Is An Eternal Gift
"An unwillingness to learn new things."- Electrical-Bid-9577
Don't Be Fooled...
"Interest in a pyramid scheme."- GameCox
"When people are really into a MLM scheme."
"I’m not taking about 'I’m a bored house wife so I decided to start selling makeup, leggings, whatever it may be, because I’m bored and this gives me something to do'.”
"I’m talking about the people who consider it their career and are huge into the Boss Babe lifestyle."- MilehighcarsonTalking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"When they post one of those things on Facebook saying 'only a few will share!' or when they comment on one of those clickbait 'God has a blessing for you today say amen!' posts."- se7ensquared·
Do You Even Know What I'm Saying?
"Arguing without listening."- dezx156
"Talks a lot and never listens."- BaronVonOstrichangry daffy duck GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
And Now For Something Completely Different
"When you prove your point in a discussion and the other person explains that it doesn’t even matter because their REAL point is something that’s an off-shoot of that subject in a 'gotcha!' manner."- No-Mud-5854
Loud Is Almost Never Right
"People who can only argue by raising their voice."- malkumecks
"Littering."- CannaPanda69driving eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
They Have No Idea What They're Missing
"Active hostility to books (as opposed to simply not reading them)."- Manganela
"Being proud of never having read a book."- peppermintcreams
"When they repeat a certain statement word for word I get the impression that they memorized something to sound more intelligent than they are."- Armedes369Talking Nigel Thornberry GIFGiphy
How Much Proof Do They Need?
"They aren't open to changing their beliefs when given new information."- Pretengineer_825
What Are They Trying To Prove?
"Oddly enough, when they try and tell me their IQ."- manwithoutcountry
It is often the people who try to prove how smart they are who end up doing just the opposite.
A truly intelligent person would know better than to do that.
People Share The Biggest Insider Secrets From Companies They No Longer Work For
It's hard to ignore gossip and rumors at work, whether at the water cooler, in the bathroom, or in an email sent to the wrong recipient.
Of course, sometimes gossip is nothing more than just that, with no truth or validity to it whatsoever.
Other times, however, it turns out to be accurate, and what's more, should it become public knowledge, it could become truly damaging to the company's reputation and business.
Hence why many companies make all their employees sign an NDA, often preventing them from sharing information about whether they continue to work at the company or not.
Not all companies are as careful, however, resulting in some employees leaving with the knowledge that could one day force the company to go under.
Redditor broadway96 was eager to hear the juiciest information people learned about their former workplaces which they weren't supposed to know, leading them to ask:
"What's a company secret you can share now that you don't work there?"
Off The Books, But With Good Intentions
"This isn't a company secret, but:"
"I worked part-time at a Domino's franchise in college."
"The owner was, at first glance, a short-tempered, critical penny-pincher who did everything he could to save a business money, right down to watching over your shoulder to make sure you didn't put too much cheese on a pizza."
"Cheese is called 'white gold' in the pizza industry, even back in 2002."
"But after working for him for a while, you realized why he was so specific about the margins."
"Twice yearly, he would send out generous bonuses (in the form of money orders made out to his employees from his own personal savings account) to the college students working for him."
"the checks/money orders contained the memo line 'keep learning!'"
"The amount of the money orders would be directly correlated to the profit margins of the stores he owned. The dude did legit profit sharing."
"After I graduated, I heard a rumor that he was trying to start up a small education grant trust that would benefit applicants of the Farmer School of Business at Miami University, but I don't think anything ever came of it."
"This owner also played favorites when hiring."
"Every single one of his managers was a former employee."
"Three of the four managers at his stores when I worked there had graduated from my college with business degrees."
"All four of them had a small portion of their education paid for by Marvin Covington."
"Marvin Covington, Oxford, Ohio Dominoes owner from Vevay, Indiana, died in 2017."
"That dude knew how to do business, and do it right."- sunward_LilySeason 1 Netflix GIFGiphy
It's all in the branding
"I worked at L’Oréal."
"The cosmetics from L’Oréal and Lancôme are practically the same."
"But Lancôme costs like $20 more."- BayBel
A Literal Comic Book Villain
"I worked at a comic book store that offered a service where you paid a small premium to have sent in rare comics to have them graded at CGC."
"A few months later we had many customers coming in to check the status of their comics."
"We contacted the owner to see what was going on, and he would always claim that there was some distribution problem."
"Fast forward a few months, we found out he was taking customers graded copies and selling them online while trying to return back issue versions of their original comics."- ZealousidealWay1139
The American Healthcare System Everyone...
"Health insurance dude."
"When you file a claim, it is often denied because they're counting on you not escalating it."
"Once you do, your case goes to a 'medical management group' which ought to be called the 'we don't wanna pay' group."
"Keep escalating and involve your doctor."
"Fight for the insurance you paid for."- theUttermostSnarkPop Culture Politics GIF by PBS Digital StudiosGiphy
"The vehicle modification shop at Chillicothe Correctional Institution in Chillicothe, Ohio dumps waste coolant from the machine shop into a storm drain that empties directly into the Scioto River, because the chemical disposal tank is a 55 gallon drum in the paint shop, and that's much too small.
"They can't throw me into solitary confinement for complaining anymore."
"This happens about once a year, when the machine's coolant reservoirs are emptied and the coolant replaced."
"It's not on a schedule, it's one of those things that you do when work is slow."
"Each machine holds 15-20 gallons, and usually you just add more as it evaporates, but eventually it gets nasty and needs replaced."
"It's supposed to go in a waste tote to be disposed of safely, which is what every non - government machine shop does."
"Being able to prove this is being done would require knowing when they're going to do this, and that's a decision that's often made spur of the moment - hey, work is slow, let's have a clean up day."
"There aren't any phones in the machine shop, either."
"A container to store the waste properly costs $200."
"Why waste taxpayer money when we can just poison the taxpayers instead?"- Pariahdog119
Neat Freak! But It Paid Off...
"I don't think it's a bad secret at all."
"But back in college, I delivered pizzas for Papa John's."
"The store manager must have had an undiagnosed case of OCD or germaphobia or something."
"Because every night, he would assign someone to do the cleaning duties (mopping floors, double checking expiration dates/throwing away expired stuff, etc.)."
"And every night, he would absolutely lose his temper and berate whoever was doing the cleaning."
"They were going too fast, they weren't cleaning everything, whatever."
"After that, he'd always take over the cleaning himself."
"He was amazingly picky about the cleanliness and food quality."
"'Expiration date is three days from now? F*ck that, I'll order more'."
"Throw that sh*t away, we're not serving it'."
"He would also go out of pocket to buy special cleaning products 'because that worthless bullsh*t that corporate wants us to use doesn't get the job done'."
"He also went out of pocket to hire some kind of specialist to clean out the fountain drink dispenser, ice machine and all that stuff."
"'The machine needs to always be as close to brand new as possible!'"
"One stand out moment for me was when he reduced a cashier to tears by hollering 'Would you eat off this floor? No? THEN IT'S NOT CLEAN ENOUGH!'"
"He wasn't telling her to eat off the floor."
"He was just making a point."
"After we'd closed the store, he'd kick all of us out, lock up behind us and stay until something like 2am cleaning the place."
"You always knew when he closed because you could smell the chemical scent still lingering in the air."
"The end result of this was the store, the food, the equipment and the facilities were always in squeaky clean condition."
"Customers (somehow) picked up on what a perfectionist the store manager was and bought from us all the time."
"Because there's a lot of peace of mind that goes in with knowing your food was cooked by someone willing to throw ingredients away BEFORE the expiration date, stay in the store until God knows when cleaning everything, etc."
"The true irony was how much the boss hated himself because he didn't think he was doing a good enough job to run a clean restaurant with fresh ingredients."
"It didn't matter how many compliments he got from customers or how many service industry veterans said they'd never worked in a place as obsessive about freshness and cleanliness as his Papa John's store, he was convinced his store was still a filthy barn."
"Eventually, he got promoted to some kind of higher level corporate position (district manager?) that required him to visit other stores and make sure they were all up to spec."
"The end result of that was a LOT of stores in this area all improved seemingly overnight."- EponymousTitularSeason 10 GIF by FriendsGiphy
Easy Way To Get Attention
"If you pick up a wall phone at Home Depot and push '7' it activates the store wide intercom."
"This works in every store in my province afaik."- _Zoko_
Be Careful What You Say...
"If you were on Live Chat with Customer Care, I could see what you were typing before pressing send."
"I watched people work through grotesque, racist, sexist statements, fraudulent lies and mistruths, meticulous grammar fixes, and their whole range of emotions in real-time before deleting and typing 'ok'.”- BariatricPressure
2 Secrets For The Price Of One
"Ford parts from Mexico are way more reliable than Ford parts from Detroit, or at least they were before 2020."
"I worked in Detroit and we had some customers who were fussy about us always doing repairs with Michigan parts, but when we had a problem that wouldn't stay fixed we would always secretly switch to the Mexican parts, which did solve things."
"I was a prison guard a decade ago and we installed some facial tracking software in the surveillance cameras."
"One of the inmates panicked while cleaning the unused solitary confinement cells--which is usually a desirable job, it's easy as f*ck and nobody pays attention to you, and he insisted that he be moved out of that job because there was a ghost."
"The ranking officers decided to check the new cameras, and the security software claimed it saw a face behind the inmate at the same time as he was visibly startled in the camera footage."
"We're all aware there are mundane reasons why a new facial recognition system would think it saw a ghost, but since the inmate and the security software both thought there was a ghost it was decided that the inmate should be immediately transferred at no penalty."- NoAnTeGaWaseason 9 GIFGiphy
If some walls could talk!
Then again, any jilted employee will likely do all the talking for them...
Don't let people fool you when they say it doesn't.
Yes, it isn't everything.
And yes it can corrupt.
But it can also be immensely helpful.
It's especially helpful in large sums.
A windfall of cash in any amount can be life-changing.
Redditor SheemieRayVaughan wanted to know how we could have some fun with a major windfall, so they asked:
"How would your life be changed by winning $20,000?"
Please someone send me $20,000!
I'll even take $10!!
LivingKisses GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"Replenish my emergency fund that was depleted from my cancer bills this past year. My out of pocket max + deductible was 5k and now just paid 1k to get a prosthetic (had salivary gland cancer which left a hole in my soft palate). Hopefully part of that will be reimbursed from either dental or medical insurance."
"As I'm homeless ATM it would mean a whole f#*king lot! I'd buy some fruit first tho! The biggest pineapple I could find! 😂."
"Umm about £2 so like $3, ah you've very kind thank you! But it's ok I don't even have a knife or anything to get into one and I've no Venmo or PayPal or anything like that. Really do appreciate the very kind offer all the same! ❤️🙏."
"If you find a way to receive it I will also Venmo you pineapple money. I’ve not been homeless but I’ve been 'no money for fruit and veg or literally anything to bring light to my life' poor. $20k would still be life changing but I have enough pineapple money to share now."
"I'd literally be out of debt for the first time in my entire adult life 😅."
"Same 40 this year and I've just given up on the idea of owning property. Settled for a council house in the sticks in Scotland. Gonna make this house our home, try to clear the debts and just try be comfortable is the aim."
"Actually doing it on the other hand is near impossible when my outgoings of just rent, food and power take my entire wage. At the moment bankruptcy is looking like my only way of actually ever achieving being comfortable let alone buying property."
"It wouldn't change."
"I’m in the same boat that it wouldn’t change much. 1/10 of my student loans would be kinda nice I guess, but when I’m drowning, I prefer they just drain the whole pool instead of 10%."
"Same. It would just get rolled into a current or future investment."
"I'm with you. Would split it up between Roth and savings. Excitement would last just a moment. I know that sounds spoiled but the question was asked. I answered."
TimelessEpisode 9 Hug GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"$20k would cover rent, bills & food so I could take time to spend with my dying parents."
Time is precious.
HELPCartoon Network GIF by CNLAGiphy
"I'd be able to get the medical treatment and dental work I've been avoiding. I'd probably be a lot happier being able to chew more things."
"I would lose my disability and be more f**ked than helped, honestly."
"If I spent it incredibly under the table, then yeah. But if I did anything noticeable with it, it's still a risk. I borrowed money from a friend once to buy a cheap a** van (to live in, yay, leeching off the government is so profitable /s) and they drilled me about where I got the money to buy it."
"To get them off my back, I even drew up a contract stating that I was never in possession of the money and was on a payment plan to pay it back. It can be hell to get disability, but they'll rip it away in two seconds."
A little here and there...
"I have $54k left on my mortgage. No other debt. Don't need a car. So almost no change."
"Same pretty much. I don't 'need' anything and the one thing you could argue I could use, you can't buy that for $20k. So literally would not change my life at all. Maybe someone else would be a better recipient."
"I mean, it wouldn’t change my life, but I could park it somewhere for my son later on."
"My mom died and had an insurance policy that paid out about this amount. It allowed me to buy my first ever new car. Everything works in it! Especially thrilled to have heat and defrost. Reliable transportation really does make life easier."
The EverydayBugs Bunny Money GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"It would help immensely, I'm living paycheck to paycheck with $12 in savings. I get by, but the fear of an unforseen expense is crippling at times."
Debt be Gone!
"Pay off some consumer debt and the rest of my car loan. It would basically just push the timeline for my wife getting a new car up by a year, granted that would mean that the debt we paid off would be replaced by a new car payment. Aside from her no longer driving something questionably reliable (we've had major issues), nothing would change."
Money isn't everything... but it certainly helps!
What would you do with the money? Let us know in the comments.
Between our parents' words of wisdom and the annoying cliches we hear daily, life lies to us a lot.
The advice we get from our family and life seems like a good thing; at the very least, it's well-intentioned.
However, it's not always true.
My parents told me I could be anything I wanted. What they didn't mention was that not everyone has an affinity for science, and there's every possibility I won't be a physicist. That one was not fun to learn.
Redditors know all too well the reality of the world proving to us that life has many lies, and were eager to share what those lies are.
It all started when Redditor GandalfGreen95 asked:
"What do you consider life's greatest lie?"
Mother Knows Best?
"That I'm the most handsome boy in the whole wide world. Wrong again mom"
"Human nature makes it so we always see our children this way, otherwise we might drown you in a tub. :P"
"No YOUR wrong mother always knows best"
We're All Messes
"That other adults have it all together."
"No, just no. Everyone has some part of their life that is a sh*t show."
– Deleted User
"Lol looking back I got so much advise and looked up to so many adults from work in my late teens early twenties that were barely functioning adults. I just followed along cause I assumed they knew better and I was just a young kid."
"Married 17 years, 2 kids, a house, cars, dog, job with retirement plan but I DO NOT feel like I have my sh*t together. Everyday is a stress filled gut-punch of doubt and remorse."
"I am a 40something married mom. We own our home and car. And yet, every single day, I feel like I am role-playing. I feel like I am a child playing house. The older I get, the stronger this feeling becomes. Maybe it is because my personal life as far as friendships, social outings, etc. has become very small. I spend 90% of my time in my home, on my phone spaced out playing games or surfing reddit. I barely leave my home, especially in the winter, and when I do, it is because I have errands or yet another doctor appointment or antibody infusion for breast cancer. I barely talk to anyone even online. I know there are days where the only time I speak out loud is to either discuss something with my husband, usually about the kids, or talk to the kids about what they have been up to."
"I chose all of this. I love being home and being with my husband and kids. I find it difficult to connect with other women and form friendships. All the friends I do have live minimum an hour away and I no longer drive because I don't trust myself (thanks to chemo and other medications I severely lack the focus required to drive. Last time I tried I backed into my mother in law's new car. I simply didn't see it even though it was easily seen). I have a good life as far as comforts and care and sharing my life with my husband and children. But I severely lack socializing, and all that brings."
"The isolation plays a huge part in how I feel like I am a child role-playing. I can totally understand how and why some think we are living in a simulation. Somedays feel exactly like that."
"That there is one person in the world that is perfect for you."
"Well statistically there probably are a lot of people that would be perfect for you. It's just that we will probably never meet them."
"Right? You married your soulmate huh? And she just happen to grow up and live in the same town as you? How lucky!"
Dirty Politics (Which Is Just Politics)
"Politicians are there to represent their constituents..."
"The lie there is that the constituents are the voters. Their real constituents are the people/companies that pay them"
We All Need To Pay Rent
""The money didn't matter.""
"Is not a lie at itself, but it needs to be clarified. The money is not all in the world, but it really matters. It can be more comfortable a bad moment or difficulty, or save you from a big problem. And if you don't have any mayor problem or so, is always good and healthy have some for any surprise the life have for you."
"I hate when I'm worried or mad because the money is barely enough (and always stuck with credit to complete), and say me "money didn't matter", "money came and go". I know money is not all what I must worries and must put time and attention in other important things, but I can't keep that important things (like my wife or my cat) if I have not money for the basics of the house or some emergency."
Life Isn't Fair...
"The belief that life is fair is a lie, and it's a particularly toxic lie, because people who believe life is fair tend to believe that everything which appears like injustice must actually be secretly fair somehow, and so they rationalize injustice."
"People who believe life is fair also tend to be the ones benefitting from the unfairness."
Hard Work Doesn't Mean Much
"Hard work = good life."
"If that sh*t was true every woman in sub-Saharan Africa would be a millionaire"
"Hard work=more years a company screws you and robs you out of your pension until you retire at 70 or 80 with only memories of working your life away as you slowly die."
Who Really Cares?
"That the people in charge care about you. They in fact, dont care if you or your loved ones die."
"I care about my guys. Corporate doesn't."
"They care that they'll have to hire and train a new worker if you die. They don't care about your loved ones one bit."
The Company > The People
"The HR Department is there to protect the employee's interests."
"BS......it's there to protect the company from lawsuits"
College Isn't The Be All End All
"Going to college = success. The fact that so many people go to college, get their degree, and then get a job that has nothing to do with their degree "
– Deleted User
"That you need to go to college and get a degree to be successful. You really don’t, you can still find success without a degree, IT IS NOT REQUIRED."
Found Family Is Better
"Family is everything.This lie has imprisoned so many in abusive situations"
"Yuuuup. "Blood is thicker than water" is another shiny gem."
Life Isn't About A Formula
"You must go to college, get a job, find a partner, buy a house, retire and die."
"That formula and the expectations that it puts on us is the basis for so much loss. All that matters is the time we have left and how often we get to spend with those that love us."
"Specifically if you work hard in school, get good grades, go to uni, you will get a good job and be able to achieve all this easily."
"Yeah it doesn't work like that. I switched career in my 30s and make more money now a couple years later than I did with 10 years under my belt working in the industry I graduated into (construction management) and am infinitely happier."
"Find something you enjoy doing for work, don't immediately go to university because your parents and teachers say you have to, try a few different things until something sticks, then work out if you need a degree from there."
"The one where your parents are infallible. You don't realize it until you get older or become a parent. They were holding it all together by the skin of their teeth just like I am."
"This one hits me hard. I grew up in a very authoritarian family and was basically indoctrinated that my parents had it all together and knew it all. Early adulthood was hard because I was living on my own and was afraid to make decisions without checking with them first."
"Many years later and now I can see all the faulty logic for what it is. Wish I had figured that out in my 20's."
"Remember when you were young and you thought your dad was Superman... Only to grow up and realize he was just a drunk guy who liked to wear capes."
Yeah, I remember learning that one myself!