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People Confess Which Obvious Things They've Only Realized Recently

People Confess Which Obvious Things They've Only Realized Recently
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

Unless you're a total egomaniac, there's probably been at least one moment in your life where you had to stop, stare at yourself, and embrace the realization that yeah, you're really shockingly dumb. No judgment, we've done it too - and we have no shame talking about it.


My regular readers know all about my childhood belief that I was the "moon princess", but if you're new here I'll rehash the Cliff's Notes version.

My parents used to tell me that the reason I could always see the moon no matter where I happened to be was because the moon loved me so much that it followed me everywhere. Me, being young and trusting, just took them at their word. Bad idea in my family.


I didn't know anything about astrological distances, perspective, etc. I never questioned it again. The moon was my little best friend and I would talk to it as such. Let's just say I was EMBARRASSINGLY OLD when I had my moment of sudden realization that pretty much everyone with a view of the night sky could see the moon 'cause that's kind of how celestial bodies work.

I absolutely still talk to my sky-bestie, though. BFFs for life.

Reddit user negan2018 asked:

What really obvious thing have you only just realized?

Folks... I feel better. We've got Santa issues, people who didn't understand how to use towels, a missing Olsen sibling, and at least one person who just thought Michelangelo really liked some random dude named Dave.

Enjoy! The dumb is truly dazzling.

When In Rome

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"Super embarrassing but in college I would order Roman Cokes because I heard everyone else ordering the same...turns out I misheard everyone and found out it was just rum and Coke."

- Kaylakamrie

The Missing Olsen Twin

"As a child I was confused as to why Mary, Kate, and Ashley were referred to as the Olsen twins and why ads on TV only ever showed two of them at a time."

"And then 16 year old me found out about Mary-Kate."

- PM_Me__Recipes

Lost In Translation

"The first time I visited the USA I was on my own and in NY and going to all the museums. I kept seeing signs that said "No strollers" and thought (because what Americans call strollers are called "prams" in the UK) that you guys are super strict about the proper amount of attention required to visit a museum. I actually pretended to show more interest than I had in order not to be thought of as some deadbeat out for a casual stroll."

"It wasn't until about day three that I saw a "No strollers" sign that included a graphic for idiots."

- Flibble21

D.O.G.

"This girl I know has a dog named Deoji. Two years into knowing her and being around Deoji, I was having a conversation with her sister in law and I said "I love the name Deoji, how did she come up with that?" Her sister in law responds, "Deoji" and I said "yea, it's a neat name". She started laughing and said "No, D.O.G. ...the way you spell dog"

"I'm still mindblown about this lol."

- PoTinkTink17

A Very Merry Christmas

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"When the kids catch their mom kissing Santa Claus, it is because Santa is their dad dressed up. Not because Santa and Mom have a once yearly torrid affair."

- RagingTromboner

"I had always wondered why the dad wasn't as mad as he should have been. Figured it out when I was about 30 years old."

- Skylayers

"Okay so I was listening to this one just the other day and had a realization about it. There's a line where the kid says "I was supposed to be in my bedroom fast asleep." This means the Dad was dressing up as Santa Claus for the mother and not for the kid. Meaning Mommy has a Santa fetish."

- Truffled

"Similarly, I was recently telling my friend how creepy I found the song "Santa Baby" because it was weird a woman was trying to bang Santa. Then my friend told me Santa is supposed to be her boyfriend/husband, not actually Santa"

"Still a weird song but not as much now."

- AmberTheDork

"I was always confused why they would say, "up on the housetop reindeer paws" because reindeer have hooves... then I realized they didn't have paws, they were pausing so Santa could go deliver gifts."

- VagueAbstractBeing

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A Dude Called Dave

"That Michelangelo's David is David from David and Goliath. How did I not know this?? I thought it was just a dude called Dave."

- gene_parmesan_PEYE

"At first I was like, "I thought it was King David." But now I think those are the same person. Ol' Dave had a lot of adventures."

- Theorheticaldjokes

"I mean I hate to make you feel worse, but did you never notice the sling he is holding over his shoulder and the stone he is holding is his other hand???? Did that not give it away?"

- Dad_Is_Mad

"Bro I thought it was his trousers that he isn't wearing 😅 I honestly haven't looked at the statue in depth (in any depth at all clearly) and yeah I haven't noticed the sling..or the stones?! There are stones?? Man, my bad Michelangelo."

- gene_parmesan_PEYE

Departments

"It's called a Department Store because there are, wait for it, separate departments within the one store."

"I had a Sudden Clarity Clarence moment with that one recently."

- BlueShoeLover

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Birthday Suit

"I realized that to be in one's birthday suit it means to be without clothes. I thought for the longest time it was a specific set of clothes you would wear on your birthday each year. I found out when I asked, "what happens when you don't fit in your birthday suit anymore?" Lol"

- BeastOfWhimsy

The Absence Of A Dock

"I only just today realized that the "walk the plank" plank on a boat is not a special addition pirates added to their ships as a means of public execution that looked like a little wooden diving board."

"It is, in fact, the very same plank as the gangplank you'd normally use to get on and off of the ship. It is not the presence of the plank that is threatening, but the absence of dock."

- LionTamer

Gay Moms

"This is so so stupid but I didn't realize my moms were gay until I was almost 14 and I literally heard my mom say "I'm gay" to my grandma as a joke."

"I knew that lesbians/same-sex/gay were relatively interchangeable but it didn't click as "my moms are lesbians which is another term for being gay and they are gay" until that moment."

- hgb965

Little Pillows

"Story time. When I was little for some reason I hated toast. Just hated it. My parents always tried to make me eat it but I always refused. My grandma decided to try something different. She took toast, cut it up into tiny squares, put some butter on them, and called them "Little Pillows." I ate them all the time. Only now, at 22 years old, did I realize it was just freakin toast."

- Cosplaybaby13

Bathroom Blunders

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"Ok, this was a couple of years ago, but it was something I realized WAY too late in my life..."

"You're supposed to use the towel to dry yourself after a shower. I was just wrapping it around myself and sitting / walking around in it until I air dried."

- EnoughToBeAnnon

"Dude I thought I was alone with this."

"It wasn't until I went on a lake trip with my school when I was 14 and I was sitting with my towel on waiting to dry, that I saw people drying themselves off with their towels when they got out of the water and it hit me. I have never felt more stupid and I have no idea how I didn't realize sooner."

- SkippyGonzales

"I always thought women with long hair turned their towel into a turban for fun. I didn't know they wrapped their hair in it."

- wwfmike

"Last time I remember this question asked there was a guy that didn't realize you could wait until the water got hot to get in the shower. He hated how it always starts so cold."

- Betakurt


"I'm 16 and didn't realize until a month ago you don't HAVE to turn sinks up all the way. Water always splashed me when I washed My hands, and I complained to a friend and she said "Just turn the handle half-way then..?"

"My life has gone uphill from there ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you."

- J_C_Wizard49

So Fresh And So Clean, Clean

"That the phrase mint condition means like new because it's the condition coins leave the mint in."

- BiracialMonster

"Wow I always thought it meant mint condition because mint makes u feel fresh..."

- Dofus-Rinas

Beef

"Didn't just realize this but didn't realize it for a while"

"The reason why the cow mascot says eat more chicken is because he doesn't want people to eat him - which is a beef. For years I never understood this and then one day I realized it and told my family and they called me stupid."

- CharlesBread_

Narwhals Are Real

"A few days ago my wife and I had gotten into a stupid argument and weren't speaking to each other. We live in a pretty small place so we both were kind of stuck being angry in the same room. I turn on the TV and start watching a documentary on sea life and a segment pops up with a narwhal swimming with her calf. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my wife slowly look up from her phone and her jaw drop. She then says "Wait, wait, wait....hold on.....those...exist?....they're real?!" I didn't know what to say so I just burst out laughing for a solid minute. At least it got us talking again lol."

- sodapopsik

Bow & Arrow

"I remember that in seventh grade I had watched a vine where a kid gets a bow and arrow and says "I have a boner!" I didn't know what that meant so me and my friends were playing Minecraft and I thought it meant bow and arrow, but abbreviated."

"I don't remember what we were playing but I was yelling that out, "I need a boner!" Thinking I was yelling for a bow. The entire class went quiet and I was wondering why my friends were dying of laughter. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life."

- acorns_under_tree

Coincidence

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"In Latin, "Reddit" literally means "Surrender". Coincidence? I think not!"

- ImOkNotANoob

Night Gas

"That there are gas stations open at night. I know that this is something that is extremely obvious to most people but I grew up in New Jersey where most gas stations close at 8pm. It never occurred to me that there are ones open on the highway for people driving at night. I used to drive around with my friends at night and whenever gas is low that just meant that it was time to go home."

- username67580

Non-Native English Issues

"For years, I said 'it's a doggie dog world' until my wife said to me that the right expression is 'it's a dog eat dog world'.

"Also, not being a native English speaker, I didn't realize at first what booty in 'shake your booty' song was referring to. I thought it meant shaking your little boots on the dance floor."

- triple-negative

Spontaneous Pinecones

"Pinecones come from pine trees, I was sitting outside and looking around then suddenly realize, pinecones around a pine tree. I never really gave thought to it I thought pinecones just existed."

- LePigMeister

Mice And Rats

"I thought that mice are female of rats...I watched too much pokemon as a child. Ratata - a mouse evolves into Raticate - a rat."

- trestany

Citrus

"That oranges; lemons and limes are different fruits. I thought they were the same fruit in different stages of development like grapes and raisins."

- nsbe_ppl

Natural Gold

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"This is so dumb.....but about a year ago I realized that dog breeds aren't naturally occurring. Like there aren't golden retrievers in nature."

- 97Charlie

The Second Worst Seizure

"When I was in high school I heard my mom talking about someone having a "grandma seizure." I asked mom what that was and she said the worst type of seizure you could have. I never could figure out why they didn't call it a grandpa seizure then. And then the grandma seizure could be the second worse type of seizure."

"Well, yeah, years later I saw it in writing and it's actually Grand Mal Seizure. I'm obviously not a doctor."

- Shemas12

We've all been there and had that thought, "did I miss school when everyone else missed this?"

Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do

Reddit user johnnyportillo95 asked: 'What’s something left handed people have to deal with that right handed people wouldn’t even think about?'

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap DierenartsenGiphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPostGiphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIFGiphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & GraceGiphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

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