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Reddit user DontMicrowaveCats asked:
What basic life skill were you surprised to find your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse didn't have when you first started dating?
and the internet had some surprising and hilarious answers.
Wife can't swim.
She said her mother wouldn't let her learn because she was afraid of her drowning. THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SWIMMING IS FOR! lothartheunkind
This is a "what she has taught me" post. I grew up in a hoarder/squalor house (like on TV), so when I first moved out and got a place with my girlfriend at the time, I had to basically be taught every domestic skill (apart from cooking, which I had already taught myself). That was like 11 or 12 years ago, and I STILL learn things every now and then from my wife. An upbringing like that isn't something you just overcome at the drop of a hat. After being out of that environment for so long, visiting home now sometimes feels like visiting an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon where I observe primitive behaviors that I evolved out of, but are still prevalent within the family. B_Squad_Captain
Had to file 7 years back taxes for a girl, she'd simply never done them and didn't know that after university and working minimum and low wage jobs since high school that it meant she'd be getting back thousands of dollars, like $21,000. EnderSword
Back To Basics
Basic life skills. He (an ex from long ago) couldn't comprehend certain daily tasks. He thought any kind of soap could be put in the dish washer, he would leave things in the oven and forget about them for hours, thought you only needed to shower or brush your teeth every few weeks?! I once witnessed him make a milkshake and not put the lid on the blender... (stuff) went everywhere and he was genuinely perplexed at the outcome. If he didn't feel like working 1 day he'd just quit and apply for another job. The worst part was he truly believed I was an idiot for thinking him wrong or suggesting he change his habits. I felt like a wrangler at the zoo... or a parent to a 25 year old man baby. Bebeshark
How to use a broom. Not like lazy, but literally has never handled a broom before and doesn't have the motor memory for a sweeping motion. I actually kind of have to work hard not to laugh as its adorably watching a grown human being handling a broom like a toddler. natha105
Money management. She used to think, "Oh, I have $500 in my account, which means I can buy that $500 item!" She's since learned how to appreciate saving. aggressive_napkins
Dental care. She nearly dumped me when I pointed out that it's not normal for teeth to be brown on the edges. I didn't notice it initially because the brown was eternally covered by white, fossilized food residue.
Eventually, I was able to make it clear that I just care about her health, and she's been working through about $5000 in fillings, root canals, and gum treatments as quickly as her insurance will let her. TBSchemer
What a Gas
My biggest smack my head moment with my wife was when she called me and told me that she had just met with the road service guy due to running out of gas. I asked where she had run out and she told me the location.
It was in the same parking lot that contained a Shell Gas station about 50 yards away from where she was parked. Sigh.... Goblue5891x2
Being able to determine whether my hands are free or not. Like I'll be carrying a two handed tote and she wants to hand me the glass of water she just poured. Like yes please balance it on my shoulder. thatdudecole
Cleaning. Specifically, dude had no idea where dust came from. Thought that if he didn't go over to that part of the room, it wouldn't get dusty, and therefore didn't need to be cleaned. graciewindkloppel
One at a Time
When texting I have to write a sentence and wait an answer.
If I write more than one, she only reads the last one.
Better Than Sliced Bread
My dad likes to make bread, and I gave my boyfriend (who I'd been dating for a year at that point) a loaf.
We decide to have a slice and he just cuts the entire loaf in half,
He wasn't sure where to go from there. I suppose a lot of people just buy sliced bread and never make their own! SaskatoonDream
The Hinges Go in Both Directions
The ability to close cabinet doors. Snauzberries
In His Best Interest
Compounding interest. My ex had maxed out a $500 limit credit card ten years earlier, just ignored it, and had been paying about $25/month in interest ever since.
I explained to him that the single easiest way for him to earn money was to pay it off and terminate the card -- that would be like earning $25/month for doing nothing!
He slammed his fists on the table and yelled, "No! I'm not earning anything, they're just taking my money! I'm not giving them any more!" a3wagner
How not to drive like a jackhole.
She tailgated, stopped late, swerved randomly because she wasn't paying attention, and... It has taken a lot of patience to get her to the point where i am cool with her driving the kids around. Her sister is still a horrible driver. deathtastic
Guess Where Vegetables Come From?
An ex-GF was from a wealthy family and I'd get calls about everyday life stuff all the time:
"How do I choose which head of lettuce at the grocery store?"
"How do I use a ___ (gas pump, clothes iron, sandpaper...)?"
" Why are there so many kinds of shovels and which one should I buy?"
My favorite was her fuming about the farmers market that sold her a bag of veggies that were dirty, they had ACTUAL DIRT on them. picksandchooses
It Says Disposable
The ability to understand how a lint roller works.
He didn't know that the sheets peel off the roll, just thought when the top sheet was covered you threw it out and got a new one. industrial_craze
ANYTHING that requires maintenance.
I mean anything. Like, she will listen to a fire alarm beep for hours before I come home and swap the batteries. She will try and change a light bulb while the switch is on. She does not understand the concept of circuit breakers. Every time she has a computer problem, I ask her "Did you turn it off and on" and invariably, she hasn't.
She went ~8 years between moving out of her parents home, then living with me. I don't know how she survived.
BUT she is super smart. Like, so very good with money, deans list when she went to Uni, excellent mother, reads and understands contracts. Pretty much everything I'm dumb at she's good at and vice versa. We make a really good team. KarmaAerospace
Beep, Beep, Beep...
My friends sister secretly taught herself Korean, announced as a total surprise to everyone (including her family) that she was moving to Korea, alone, and worked there for a couple of years as an English teacher. We live in England and she had no previous connection with Korea, so this was pretty incredible.
In her mid- to late 20s she came home and moved back in with her dad, and one day the smoke alarm was beeping because the battery had run down. She wasn't sure what to do, so she rang her dad for help, despite knowing he was at work. On a ship. Fifty miles away. After he got understandably annoyed and asked what the hell she expected him to do about it, she left it beeping for about six hours until her brother got back and changed the batteries.
It still boggles my mind that someone so clearly intelligent, adventurous and apparently independent could have so little common sense when it comes to everyday life. She isn't the only person I know who can be like that though, so maybe it's a totally different part of your brain that's involved or something. EuphemiaPhoenix
Dated a girl who called me one night asking me if it was safe to put plastic in the oven. When I said no, she laughed nervously and said she might have set her house on fire. (She did)
I was confused by much in that conversation, but the main thing was why she was calling me and not the fire department.
She also couldn't tell her lefts from her rights.
It was odd because other than that she was a generally intelligent human being. Monochrome21
I had a roomie who, three months into living together, told me she'd let the gas stove run a while and use a Bic to light it.
Because she was "afraid of the clicking noise."
There were a lot of reasons I wanted to hit her in the back of the head to knock some blockage loose, but that was the time I came the closest. LittleSadEyes
Cooking....like at all...she would burn pasta...
"BOIL water?? What am I...a chemist???"
My ex was a hot mess in that regard (life skills).
He didn't know how to do anything in terms of taking care of himself. I asked him to mind the pasta that was cooking for five minutes while I went to grab something, and when I came back he was just standing there watching it boil over without doing anything. He tried to run the dishwasher, but filled it with just rinse aid instead of detergent because, "they're basically the same thing, right?". When he did laundry, he would leave the wet clothes in the washer for 3-4 days and then be surprised when they mildewed literally every time. He never budgeted, just spent whatever he felt like (mostly on expensive sports equipment, etc) and then would call his parents in a panic if he got an overdraft fee before his next payday.
He'd clearly been babied all to hell, and I would've had a lot more sympathy except that a) most of these things were pretty easy to just Google if you didn't know how to do them, and b) whenever I tried to gently correct him on how to do something, he'd fly off the handle and accuse me of being condescending and nagging. So, yeah, by the end of our relationship I'd kinda lost all respect for the guy. pdxemf
Soap IS Soap, Right?
Me. Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher deal.
Cleaned the house, did the laundry mowed the lawn and bought flowers for the ex before she came back to her place. Final touch was having all dishes done and put away. Put dish soap in because, wtf, it's clearly soap for dishes so that'll work.
Turns out it floods the whole kitchen with bubbles.
I decided to mow while dishes were going, had to call and explain before she got back. Thankfully she thought it was hilarious and said thanks for cleaning the floors while calling me an idiot. gotbadnews
My GF is a Forensics Chemistry major with two minors and she's brilliant. But she has trouble telling which way to turn when giving directions and confuses her left and right. If she says "Go left" my safest bet is probably turning right because left would be me turning into oncoming traffic, a tree, a wall, or just the way we don't need to go. It's kind of cute now, but at the beginning it was confusing. Avinan
Spell My Name
He couldn't spell my name right. My name is Hazel. It's not exactly common, but it's not super rare either; English, five letters, not so bad.
And it wasn't that he was dyslexic either -- he was whip-smart, and had no problems with spelling anything else. His text messages were all perfectly punctuated. His grammar was on point. He'd proofread my work from time to time. It's not a thing I would have expected him to have a problem with.
But in the three months we dated, I was a Hazzle, a Hazle, a Hazzel, a Hayzel and a Hayzell. Not once do I recall him getting it right. It got to the point where I thought he might be doing it on purpose, either because he thought it was cute or to annoy me, but no -- it was just a complete blind spot for him.
It didn't last. (For other reasons, but... damn, I mean, is it too much to want your name spelled right?) Portarossa
Fundamentally, all of them. His mother basically anticipated that he would find a good woman to take care of him, so he was essentially treated as a child.
He couldn't cook, not even ramen. He didn't know how to repair a car, didn't understand how to clean, shop all. Not only did he fail to budget, he fundamentally had no clue how much stuff cost. I refused to live with him.
I know a woman raising a son like that. She has said that she's not bothering to teach him how to cook or clean because he'll find a wife to do that for him. When someone asked her what if he didn't get married, she said "he'll just make good enough money to be able to hire a maid". StyxRun GetLostYouPsycho
My husband can't ride a bike.
He was never taught. Bittysweens
Down the Drain
My wife did not know how to plunge a toilet. The first few times I was over at her place and her toilet was clogged when I entered the restroom I figured "hey, it happens, I'll just plunge it on the dl and save her the embarrassment." After a couple of years and countless low-key plunges we had to sit down and talk about checking the bowl, proper plunging technique, all that jazz. It's much better now but for a while it was this weird little secret that only I knew. pianoman616
How to use a can opener!
I was literally blown away. How can a grown man not know how to use a car opener? LauraIngallsWilder1
He was amazed with my sock folding skills.
You know, when you're folding laundry and pair up two matching socks side by side and then fold down the cuffs so that the socks stay paired up together.
His reaction was like he had watched me perform brain surgery. Literally mind blown. I should have taken it as a sign. pixiecut678
Her concept of time is so skewed it's mind boggling and it's caused her to be one of those people who "has their own time" (like people add an hour to whatever time she says she'll be anywhere).
I didn't understand it until I witnessed it first time when we were getting ready to leave somewhere together. She thinks "well I just have to throw clothes on and make up and I'm good, so leaving in half an hour is fine." However, she lets things distract her from her two main objectives and doesn't allot any extra time for such occurrences.
Example: Starts dressing and make up, then realizes she hasn't fed the dog, but also realizes she hasn't eaten so makes a quick snack, but while doing that she notices she hasn't taken the trash out and if she doesn't do it now it will attract flies, what was I doing again? Make up, oh yeah. Where's my coffee? Oh I hadn't made it yet. Better do that. What's this bowl of yogurt and granola doing here? Oh yeah, I need to eat this. Okay lets go. Wait, I need to bring this chair up to my mom on the way up to the car. Proceeds to have 5 minute argument with her mom about nothing in particular.
And suddenly we are 45 minutes late. DothrakAndRoll
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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