Many things around us possess a duality of opposing forces – including us.
While the concept of dualism embodies inter-connectedness, we could stand to lose the negative aspects of ourselves if we can admit to having them.
It's a challenge always doing our best to be Jekyll while we conceal our Hyde.
But if we're able to acknowledge having the most toxic of traits and confront them head-on, there may be a possibility the light will overcome the darkness and allow us to become better versions of ourselves.
Curious to hear about the things that make us feel ashamed or ourselves, Redditor fafifafufa asked:
"What's your most toxic trait you can admit to?"
Stubborness
"I can't let go of things and I take things way too personally. I rationalize it like this 'I wouldn't dream of saying or doing something like that to this person, so why are they doing it to me?.'"
"Also, I procrastinate like no other. Seriously, you could give me a year, or 2 days to do something. Wouldn't make a difference."
Not Letting Things Go
"I can hold a grudge a long time."
"This! I have cut family members from my life because of my grudge."
Putting It Off
"I procrastinate to a concerning degree as well. I'm starting to think it's because whatever line of work I got myself into is something I hate so so much, and that's why it's so dreadful to start any project, because like, I have no problem being productive when it comes to my hobbies, it's just school/work/chores that I procrastinate on."
Living Out Loud
"I'm not good at hiding my emotions. Specifically, if I'm in a bad mood, everyone knows it. I used to be an absolute nightmare when I was younger because of it; I'd turn my bad mood into everyone's bad mood. I don't do that anymore, but I'm still not good at hiding it."
Spotlight Stealing
"I'm an unintentional one-upper."
"I'm not trying to steal the attention during a story or cut you off, I'm just overly excited that I can relate to you and want to share my similar story."
– AdamDawn
All About Me
"I talk about myself way too much and don't ask about the other person nearly enough."
"Probably not my most toxic trait but definitely the one that's giving me issues at the moment."
Getting Too Attached
"I’ve had a best friend ghost me, so I can be really, really clingy now. Unsurprisingly, this encourages more people to ghost. I’m trying to nip it in the bud."
"Ken, if you’re reading this, get bent."
Being Vulnerable
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy.
Can't Win
"I sometimes tend to be a sore loser."
"Same. Especially if I'm gambling, I dont get pissed off at casual games with friends or my gf but if I'm losing a sports bet I'll be motherf'king people left and right"
Seeking Validation
"Most of the time when I ask people for their opinions, I don't actually want to hear 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 opinion. Instead I want to hear my opinion come out of their mouth. I'm always hoping that they will have the same opinion as me because it makes me feel validated. I don't actually care about what they really think."
Low Self-Esteem
"I'm extremely insecure and overthink a lot, I feel constant fear of being disliked or abandoned, I need a lot of reassurance in things because my anxiety makes me so scared and worried I either hold on too tight or I push people away even though I want them close which only end up hurting them more."
Expectations
"I have impossibly high standards for myself and I tend to place this on others as well. Then I get pissy/grouchy when people fail me. Deep down it is a self protection mechanism, having been let down by so many people, it is just easier to assume and expect the worst, that even the best of those I love will let me down."
Not Being Consumed
Distancing themselves for whatever reason wound up not being a wise solution for these Redditors.
Personal Space
"I'm emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I just disappear. My closest friends understand this but it's off putting for new friendships. It's nothing personal, I just need to recharge."
Being Unconcerned
"I just don't care about most things and that apathy has done a lot of harm to myself and others."
– SwixSwax
"Honestly this, I've been completely desensitized to 90% of things that when I see terrible things happening, like on the news and such, I'm just kinda like 'yeah, shi* happens, world sucks, same ol same ol' and continue on."
– Zaq1996
Relinquishing Certain Control
"I've begun categorizing things into 'you problems' and 'me problems.' I can control my actions and reactions, and that's it. I can't control anything else. If someone is being an a**hole and upsets me, then that's a them problem and they need to work on that part of themselves. If they're acting with good intentions and it's an accident, then it's a me problem if I hold that against them. Lifting the responsibility off of myself for the actions of others and only establishing accountability for myself really has reduced my stress and guilt."
Single By Choice
"I refuse to date. Because I'm aware I'm emotionally unavailable I think that's bullsh*t to lead someone on and completely unfair to do, and I don't do one night stands. I'm very personable and charismatic, so I am good with meeting new people, but I don't let it become anything more than friends."
Maintaining Relationships
"I'm bad at keeping in touch with people I care about. The phrase out of sight out of mind is really true for me. I tend to just be absorbed by what's right in front of me. It's very rare that I would have a thought like I wonder how my sister is doing or I wonder how such-and-such friend is doing after xyz event or even I wonder how my girlfriends day is going. I care about these people obviously, but they also don't seem to naturally occur to me in my daily thoughts."
"This unfortunately leaves it up to everyone else to reach out to me, to hang, to make the invitation, to chat, etc. I'm always super stoked when they do, but I regret putting that on them. I'm fortunate that they do all make the effort. I am a good friend... like with anything else I do, when I'm with someone I'm very much absorbed in that interaction, so that I think helps put away any doubts about my interest in the relationship."
"Another aspect of it is that I always imagine that everyone else has something going on. I don't want to interrupt or put any pressure of having to accept an invitation on them. I don't know what it's like to be bored at home wishing there was something fun to go out and do.... if I have free time like that I relish in it as a chance to play some video games or watch a movie. I'm a total home body. I have no problem filling my days with productive things/recreation/sports that I enjoy doing on my own. Maybe I lived alone too long and got too good at it."
"Bottom line I am trying to better at being the one to reach out. Because I know deep down that it feels good to hear spontaneously from your friends and loved ones, and I want them to feel good."
I'm a procrastinator.
I embarrassingly did not RSVP in time for a wedding and when I showed up at the reception assuming my very late response was received, I realized my name and plus-one were not on the list.
We did not have a place to sit at the reception which was held on a harbor cruise around Manhattan.
Fortunately, the very understanding bride and dear friend did not make us walk the plank. As it turned out, there was a cancellation and we did not that let the absent party's dinner go to waste.
You would think a lesson about procrastination was learned.
Hey, we're all a work in progress.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
Who Am I GIFYou tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.
customer service call center GIFGiphyI'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
Gotcha!
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121
GiphyOf course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
Brief Inconvenience
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
– FioreFalinesti
Instant Death
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
– itguy1991
Smooth Recovery
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
– TankApprehensive3571
That doesn't happen in real life.
Atypical Casting
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
– Johhnymaddog316
Unnecessary Extravagance
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
– Expensive_Structure2
Disarming Explosives
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
– SuvenPan
Inconvenient Birth
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
– RogueKatt
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
– stupidlyugly
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
– DickySchmidt33
Love Connections
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
– Terrible-Ad-4879
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
– Katarassein
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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