Dating is tough enough on its own but it becomes more complicated when you reach that breaking point. When you finally decide enough is enough: It's time to hold potential romantic partners to a self-created set of standards.
This can feel awkward, since you're turning away people who haven't yet done anything to you, but what they haven't done. It's important to have standards, to have expectations possible partners need to hit because if they don't, you'll spend the rest of your dating life settling. And who wants that?
Reddit user, u/Zoni6, wanted to hear what you have in mind for a potential partner when they asked:
What is an absolute requirement for you to date someone?
Talk To Me
talking homer simpson GIFGiphyWhen I met my current bf we had both just gotten out of horrible relationships and we both agreed that communication was key because our past partners kept secrets and lied to us. We both wanted to make sure that we could be open and honest with each other at all times and that we would tell each other if something was wrong.
It's worked well so far. 11 years and counting. Still high level of communication and still very very happy with each other.
Be...Your...Self.
I just want to be with someone who I can truly be myself around. I believe I have a lot to offer to a relationship but for me opening up and being completely myself is the hard part. So if I had to pick a requirement I would probably want her to have supportive qualities.
They're Comfy And Easy To Wear!
They're gonna have to learn to appreciate (or at least tolerate) my hardcore dedication to wearing shorts as often as is reasonably possible.
"Reasonable" being "So long as it doesn't pose a safety risk, like say when welding or handling radioactive materials"
Interesting Take On Ex's
Just that they are funny, interesting, and that they don't say all of their ex's are crazy. Like they have to be the problem if they aren't on decent terms with one or two of them. I'm a girl if that's relevant.
Finding That Perfect Balance
I require them to not constantly shove their political or religious beliefs in my face. If they do they're not for me.
For me it is important that someone has more or less the same values, and part of this is communicated trough political opinions. If someone doesn't like politics and doesn't want to talk about it all the time I completely get it, but I would be curious to know where they stand.
Understand Their Feelings
Don't be misogynistic.
Treat women like people with feelings and not just little pretty things to make love with
Love 'Em Or Leave Me
Like animals.
For me, they have to like cats in particular. I'm not getting rid of mine when we move in together.
Can We Talk For Longer Than 2 Minutes?
Being able to hold an intelligent conversation is a must for me.
Not. The. Same.
glow homer simpson GIFGiphyI lose all interest in someone as soon as they try to tell me that astrology is just as legitimate and real as science
Oh Yeah. Dedication.
Show interest, show love and support, and MOST IMPORTANTLY - don't cheat.
My ex cheated on me, and it still mentally f-cks me up a bit.
Think It Through
She has to be able to both think and act independently and logically.
I can say living with siblings who cannot do either of those has caused far too many avoidable problems.
Two Words: Shared Interest
They must enjoy flying. I have my pilot's license and I love taking people up in small airplanes and just sharing the experience of flight. So it's very important to me that anyone I date would be fine with me just saying "hey let's go flying today." and actually enjoy coming along.
Don't Make Me Play Games
Be open about their feelings, sry but I'm ain't gonna guess everything, your mood, where you want to go to eat, or what I did wrong
We Don't Always Have To Be Doing Something
The constant need to be out doing something is what drove me further and further away from my ex. They ALWAYS had to be doing something with friends. There was no such thing as a night in watching a movie. It got old real fast. While that life works for some people, I really appreciate quiet nights in.
It Seems Obvious, But Some People Won't Accept This For Themselves
Interest.
If they're not interested, then I'm out.
it sounds obvious but too many women just look at their phone all night expecting me to buy them a meal
Time Is Important
Be on time.
Date was 90 minutes late for a first date. There was no 2nd date
90 minutes?! Holy sh!t man I'm surprised you didn't go home, or started eating alone.. depending. The situation that'd be a bigass no for me lol, I'd just blow off the first date.
We were meeting at one of those town fair things, so at least I was able to walk around and stuff. After an hour of waiting for her, she said she was still 30 minutes out. Thats when I left and said forget it haha
In This Year, Especially
Homer Simpson Hug GIF by Animation DominationGiphyThese days?
Empathy.
The amount of people walking around without feeling empathy for their fellow man is staggering.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANEveryone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphyEmotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphySolo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
See Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphyGood Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.