Dating is tough enough on its own but it becomes more complicated when you reach that breaking point. When you finally decide enough is enough: It's time to hold potential romantic partners to a self-created set of standards.
This can feel awkward, since you're turning away people who haven't yet done anything to you, but what they haven't done. It's important to have standards, to have expectations possible partners need to hit because if they don't, you'll spend the rest of your dating life settling. And who wants that?
Reddit user, u/Zoni6, wanted to hear what you have in mind for a potential partner when they asked:
What is an absolute requirement for you to date someone?
Talk To Me
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When I met my current bf we had both just gotten out of horrible relationships and we both agreed that communication was key because our past partners kept secrets and lied to us. We both wanted to make sure that we could be open and honest with each other at all times and that we would tell each other if something was wrong.
It's worked well so far. 11 years and counting. Still high level of communication and still very very happy with each other.
Be...Your...Self.
I just want to be with someone who I can truly be myself around. I believe I have a lot to offer to a relationship but for me opening up and being completely myself is the hard part. So if I had to pick a requirement I would probably want her to have supportive qualities.
They're Comfy And Easy To Wear!
They're gonna have to learn to appreciate (or at least tolerate) my hardcore dedication to wearing shorts as often as is reasonably possible.
"Reasonable" being "So long as it doesn't pose a safety risk, like say when welding or handling radioactive materials"
Interesting Take On Ex's
Just that they are funny, interesting, and that they don't say all of their ex's are crazy. Like they have to be the problem if they aren't on decent terms with one or two of them. I'm a girl if that's relevant.
Finding That Perfect Balance
I require them to not constantly shove their political or religious beliefs in my face. If they do they're not for me.
For me it is important that someone has more or less the same values, and part of this is communicated trough political opinions. If someone doesn't like politics and doesn't want to talk about it all the time I completely get it, but I would be curious to know where they stand.
Understand Their Feelings
Don't be misogynistic.
Treat women like people with feelings and not just little pretty things to make love with
Love 'Em Or Leave Me
Like animals.
For me, they have to like cats in particular. I'm not getting rid of mine when we move in together.
Can We Talk For Longer Than 2 Minutes?
Being able to hold an intelligent conversation is a must for me.
Not. The. Same.
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I lose all interest in someone as soon as they try to tell me that astrology is just as legitimate and real as science
Oh Yeah. Dedication.
Show interest, show love and support, and MOST IMPORTANTLY - don't cheat.
My ex cheated on me, and it still mentally f-cks me up a bit.
Think It Through
She has to be able to both think and act independently and logically.
I can say living with siblings who cannot do either of those has caused far too many avoidable problems.
Two Words: Shared Interest
They must enjoy flying. I have my pilot's license and I love taking people up in small airplanes and just sharing the experience of flight. So it's very important to me that anyone I date would be fine with me just saying "hey let's go flying today." and actually enjoy coming along.
Don't Make Me Play Games
Be open about their feelings, sry but I'm ain't gonna guess everything, your mood, where you want to go to eat, or what I did wrong
We Don't Always Have To Be Doing Something
The constant need to be out doing something is what drove me further and further away from my ex. They ALWAYS had to be doing something with friends. There was no such thing as a night in watching a movie. It got old real fast. While that life works for some people, I really appreciate quiet nights in.
It Seems Obvious, But Some People Won't Accept This For Themselves
Interest.
If they're not interested, then I'm out.
it sounds obvious but too many women just look at their phone all night expecting me to buy them a meal
Time Is Important
Be on time.
Date was 90 minutes late for a first date. There was no 2nd date
90 minutes?! Holy sh!t man I'm surprised you didn't go home, or started eating alone.. depending. The situation that'd be a bigass no for me lol, I'd just blow off the first date.
We were meeting at one of those town fair things, so at least I was able to walk around and stuff. After an hour of waiting for her, she said she was still 30 minutes out. Thats when I left and said forget it haha
In This Year, Especially
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These days?
Empathy.
The amount of people walking around without feeling empathy for their fellow man is staggering.
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"What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?"
The minds of really smart individuals never stop working.
Resourcefulness
"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot."
– Puzzlehead-Engineer
Inquisitive Minds
"They are curious about everything."
"To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you cant be knowledgeable if you are never curious."
– soup54461
The way highly intelligent people interact with others is slightly different.
Social Adaptability
"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding."
– Wynonna99
Talking On Level Ground
"Talking to people as if they're intelligent at their level and without being condescending or even letting on that it's lower than their level."
"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him."
– Yoodei_Mon
The Humble Professor
"No joke. The smartest professor I had in engineering school was also the most humble. She was an astounding human being. By week 2, she knew everyone's names by heart in the intro engineering course. In College. With like 180 students. Later, in upper division classes, people would occasionally ask some really stupid questions."
"Like, it happens... you get so deep into some fluid mechanics derivation or something you forget something really basic. People would ask a question like this and everyone would be thinking like; 'Wow, how did you even make it this far?' but then... it's like she would spot the flaw in their understanding so perfectly, and then respond with such clarity and wisdom that the person asking the question would look less stupid and the whole class would be enlightened."
"And here's the thing... I pride myself on being really good at that exact skill. I tutored a lot of people. I was easily one of the brightest amongst my peers. But that woman was on another level. It was mind-blowing."
"And it wasn't just her intelligence, but her organizational skills, discipline, consistency.... And yet... she was so humble. She was quiet and physically quite small. But she just exuded competence and immediately commanded every room she walked into. I've never seen anything quite like it."
– EngineeringNeverEnds
A Positive Effect
"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent."
– gwoshmi
When In Doubt
"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'I don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation.'"
–blutoboy
Some with impressive IQs may deal with questions in the following ways.
Reaction To Delayed Responses
"'You really think about everything don't you?' - a doctor, to me, after he asked me a question and I took longer than 2 seconds to answer it."
"No, I just pull something out of my ass every time and those extra seconds you waited for me to answer were purely to irritate you for my own enjoyment."
– Imakegoatnoises
The Really Good Questions
"They can ask really good questions."
"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask 'really good questions,' not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)."
– milkmanbran
Taking Pause
"They spend time thinking before asking a question."
– ParkMan73
"Some of the smartest people don’t comment at all."
– metric-poet
I agree with many of the comments saying a really intelligent person knows how to cater the conversation towards another person's level of understanding.
They do have the impressive skill to convey something in a way that can easily be understood. Some of the most venerated professors at my university were like this, and their classes were always the hardest to get in to.
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I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.
don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
Bribes
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
H2O Issues...
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The Quad
Acds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
Threats
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
Go Fish
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
Masternid
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Season 3 What GIF by On My Block"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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