Dating is tough enough on its own but it becomes more complicated when you reach that breaking point. When you finally decide enough is enough: It's time to hold potential romantic partners to a self-created set of standards.
This can feel awkward, since you're turning away people who haven't yet done anything to you, but what they haven't done. It's important to have standards, to have expectations possible partners need to hit because if they don't, you'll spend the rest of your dating life settling. And who wants that?
Reddit user, u/Zoni6, wanted to hear what you have in mind for a potential partner when they asked:
What is an absolute requirement for you to date someone?
Talk To Me
talking homer simpson GIFGiphyWhen I met my current bf we had both just gotten out of horrible relationships and we both agreed that communication was key because our past partners kept secrets and lied to us. We both wanted to make sure that we could be open and honest with each other at all times and that we would tell each other if something was wrong.
It's worked well so far. 11 years and counting. Still high level of communication and still very very happy with each other.
Be...Your...Self.
I just want to be with someone who I can truly be myself around. I believe I have a lot to offer to a relationship but for me opening up and being completely myself is the hard part. So if I had to pick a requirement I would probably want her to have supportive qualities.
They're Comfy And Easy To Wear!
They're gonna have to learn to appreciate (or at least tolerate) my hardcore dedication to wearing shorts as often as is reasonably possible.
"Reasonable" being "So long as it doesn't pose a safety risk, like say when welding or handling radioactive materials"
Interesting Take On Ex's
Just that they are funny, interesting, and that they don't say all of their ex's are crazy. Like they have to be the problem if they aren't on decent terms with one or two of them. I'm a girl if that's relevant.
Finding That Perfect Balance
I require them to not constantly shove their political or religious beliefs in my face. If they do they're not for me.
For me it is important that someone has more or less the same values, and part of this is communicated trough political opinions. If someone doesn't like politics and doesn't want to talk about it all the time I completely get it, but I would be curious to know where they stand.
Understand Their Feelings
Don't be misogynistic.
Treat women like people with feelings and not just little pretty things to make love with
Love 'Em Or Leave Me
Like animals.
For me, they have to like cats in particular. I'm not getting rid of mine when we move in together.
Can We Talk For Longer Than 2 Minutes?
Being able to hold an intelligent conversation is a must for me.
Not. The. Same.
glow homer simpson GIFGiphyI lose all interest in someone as soon as they try to tell me that astrology is just as legitimate and real as science
Oh Yeah. Dedication.
Show interest, show love and support, and MOST IMPORTANTLY - don't cheat.
My ex cheated on me, and it still mentally f-cks me up a bit.
Think It Through
She has to be able to both think and act independently and logically.
I can say living with siblings who cannot do either of those has caused far too many avoidable problems.
Two Words: Shared Interest
They must enjoy flying. I have my pilot's license and I love taking people up in small airplanes and just sharing the experience of flight. So it's very important to me that anyone I date would be fine with me just saying "hey let's go flying today." and actually enjoy coming along.
Don't Make Me Play Games
Be open about their feelings, sry but I'm ain't gonna guess everything, your mood, where you want to go to eat, or what I did wrong
We Don't Always Have To Be Doing Something
The constant need to be out doing something is what drove me further and further away from my ex. They ALWAYS had to be doing something with friends. There was no such thing as a night in watching a movie. It got old real fast. While that life works for some people, I really appreciate quiet nights in.
It Seems Obvious, But Some People Won't Accept This For Themselves
Interest.
If they're not interested, then I'm out.
it sounds obvious but too many women just look at their phone all night expecting me to buy them a meal
Time Is Important
Be on time.
Date was 90 minutes late for a first date. There was no 2nd date
90 minutes?! Holy sh!t man I'm surprised you didn't go home, or started eating alone.. depending. The situation that'd be a bigass no for me lol, I'd just blow off the first date.
We were meeting at one of those town fair things, so at least I was able to walk around and stuff. After an hour of waiting for her, she said she was still 30 minutes out. Thats when I left and said forget it haha
In This Year, Especially
Homer Simpson Hug GIF by Animation DominationGiphyThese days?
Empathy.
The amount of people walking around without feeling empathy for their fellow man is staggering.
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Things That Scream 'I Make Terrible Financial Decisons'
Reddit user Mysterious_Fudge171 asked: 'What screams "I make terrible financial decisions?"'
How people manage their money can be a very contentious issue.
Some people have an air-tight budget, which they wouldn't dare stray from, even if they aren't even close to living paycheck to paycheck.
Others don't worry too much about how they spend day in and day out, even if they are still aware of how much they have in their checking and saving accounts.
Then there are those who love to spend money and are very good at doing so, but the concept of savings and a budget seems to escape them.
Often finding themselves confused by being in over their heads in credit card debt, despite the thousand dollar shopping spree they went on last week.
"What screams 'I make terrible financial decisions' ?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"Burning friends by asking for 'emergency' money, (based on some fake story), that you will never repay."
"Yes, oddly specific."
"Yes, all too common."- urkldajrkl
Children Are Meant To Have Hand-Me-Downs, Right?
"My neighbor can’t buy her kids school shoes."
"But has custom rims and wheels."- Comfortable-Rate497
The Military Is not Known For Being Lucrative
"A Private in any branch of the military buying a Dodge Charger."- Lukanian7·
dodge GIF by Off The JacksGiphyRe-sale 101?
"My ex SIL went to Walmart and bought a sh*t load of nail clippers, files, polish, and anything to do fingernails with."
"I asked her what the hell she planned on doing with all that."
"She told me she was going to start a flea market."- Buddyslime
If You Have To Ask, I Can't Afford It
"When you ask them how much they paid for something and they only know the monthly payment amount."- jiggeroni
Payday!!!
"Making impulsive decisions right after getting paid."- daisiesandpoetry
Pay Day Money GIFGiphyCoffee Is Where Some People Just Won't Compromise
"I know someone who is always struggling with money."
"Then I found out he has individual cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee delivered to him (via third party apps of course) while he's working at home."
"You know, instead of making a pot of coffee for yourself."- MrFishpaw
Warped Priorities
"Can't pay rent on time, but never misses a night out."- jessie_monster·
Makes Perfect Sense...
"A family member of mine has been begging money from everyone."
"He says they don't have enough money for food / rent / fuel for his wife to get to work or for tires."
"We own a tire shop, and offered him a set of used tires for $40 if he will help mount them (it's a job he's familiar with)."
"He said he didn't have $40."
"He goes to my sister in law and says he needs to make money for tires."
"She starts paying him daily for doing some remodeling work for her."
"He informs her on day 3 that he won't be available for the next two weeks because he is going on vacation to new Orleans."- Desperate_Camel_4159
car help GIF by Bubble PunkGiphyOnly The Best...
"Having the top of the line everything with a minimum wage job."
"Unless you are an unlicensed pharmacist on the side."- Ellieoconnor
Savings Accounts Exist For A Reason
"Every time you get a chunk of cash, you think you have to find a way to spend it."- Sponess
And They Don't Worry About It Getting Scratched Or Stolen...
"Expensive flashy car in the low-rent apartment complex parking lot."- Kedosto
car gold GIFGiphyJust One Click...
"Getting into debt to buy luxury products online."
"The vast majority of luxury customers aren't millionaires, they're regular people who earn below 6 figures."- lehmx
Moochers Gonna Mooch...
"When you have a 150k 'allowance', a free house and vehicle and you're still dead broke for 4 -5 months of the year."
"Sound specific? It's my entitled piece of sh*t uncle."- bhenghisfudge
They Notice...
"Fancy pickup truck with bald tires."- grondfoehammer
Chevy Truck Ipofshow GIF by Off The JacksGiphyWhen presented with a large sum of money, it is hard not to immediately think of how you plan to spend it.
Often forgetting how nice it would be to have it sitting in a savings account, should you find yourself coming up short on rent or bills.
After all, who can truly enjoy fancy things if you know you can't afford them?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
That has always been one of my favorite life sayings.
Whether it's true or not is all subjective.
Maybe it's a truth.
Maybe it's a lie unfortunate people sell themselves.
And at some point in life, we're ALL unfortunate, here and there, now and again.
What is sexy to some is a stomach-turner to others.
Who hasn't been out with friends hunting for love interests and then been left shooketh by certain people's choices?
Redditor aloe_veracity wanted to discuss simple turn-ons and turn-offs, so they asked:
"What common 'sexy' thing is a turn-off for you personally?"
I do not get and will never understand skinny jeans.
Whoever thinks they are sexy is blind.
Use your words...
baby talking GIFGiphy"Baby talk, is that supposed to be sexy? Because it kinda makes me wanna take them to daycare."
kaeyasimp420
"I baby talk with my partner, but it’s less of a sexy thing and more of a cute n’ cuddly thing when we’re embracing each other."
H2OhYeahh
Off Color
"In Ireland, fake tan is very popular among women of all ages. But any guy I have talked to about this topic hates it, it's okay when done right but 99.9 percent of the time it is orange and patchy and looks like baby diarrhea smeared all over your body."
"Any woman I have discussed this with insists it looks amazing and that the boys love it, but I and any guy I have talked to about it are turned off majorly by the sight and even smell of it."
john_lemon7812
"My sister just shamed me for going somewhere without a fake tan. Don’t mind being pale in Ireland anymore though. Just too much effort to smell like fake tan, and have fake tan on my bed, and clothes. All just to look orange ha."
Kaza-beo
Just Howl
"Ripping off clothes during sex. Just take them off, no need to be a werewolf."
SuvenPan
"Did this twice. The first time I knew ahead of time that it was on the table, so I wore an old shirt that probably should have been thrown out by that point anyway. The second time, though, was totally on impulse and popped the buttons off of a really nice button-down blouse I’d worn for a job interview that day. At the time, it was hot af but once the hormones wore off and I couldn’t find all the buttons to sew them back on, I was miffed about it."
mokutou
Be Normal
"Aside from all the physical turn-offs, I am turned off by someone who's acting sexy, it's too ridiculous to me. Just act normal."
_Norman_Bates
"Ugh my husband used to do this, admittedly he can be incredibly socially awkward sometimes which cracks me up and is a reason why I love him, but man do I hate it when he tries to be sexy, squinting his eyes and slightly while raising his eyebrows, biting his lips and all. Gives me the ick so bad."
urscndmom
Unsexy
Not Listening Season 5 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Dated a girl who was really into anime once, she did the hentai cries to be sexy and it was just the most unsexy thing I've ever experienced."
GemoDorgon
This anime craziness is taking over.
To each their own.
Clothes On
dance party GIFGiphy"Male strippers. Just not for me and if I ever got a lap dance, I would probably just end up laughing lol."
semisweetdreams87
So Arrogant
"When confidence turns into arrogance."
DeerZealousideal7423
"Agreed. There's a difference between giving off the impression you know how to handle anything thrown your way and thinking that any communication with you is me thinking I'm hot crap and you think I'm unworthy of your attention."
patrickwithtraffic
"I struggle with this, but not because I am arrogant lol. I looked down on my abilities so much that I faked arrogance to be funny. My friends get the joke and we laugh, but I forget the joke doesn't land when the person has just met me."
jedadkins
I Still Cringe
"Oh, God. I KNOW this isn’t common outside of like, the 11th grade, which makes it worse. I have a 6’7 ex who would wiggle his eyebrows and do that tongue flicker thing. Something about something that off-putting being done by a towering beast of a man just made it 1000x worse. I still cringe."
No-Photo8763
"My ex used to do this lick/slurp noise and kinda hang his tongue tip out when he talked about hot people. It legit made me gag more than once. That particular gesture has stuck with me more viscerally than anything else he did."
LeSilverKitsune
Flavored
Tv Show Hulu GIF by The BearGiphy"Girls calling me 'Daddy,' it's gross and incestuous. I prefer to be called Chef, it's professional and implies we going to flavor town."
BicycleMinimum4629
Grow Long
"These stupid short beards which are way too symmetric and that everyone gets from the barber. Like someone drew it with a marker."
Kampfzwerg0
Again, sexiness is all subjective.
Our tastes are clearly all over the map.
Enjoy.
Traveling for most people is a wonderful adventure, full of new experiences, sights, and memories.
But even for the best travelers, there are bound to be some flop destinations along the way.
Redditor ITSSAMMYG asked:
"What was your worst ever holiday destination?"
Canberra
"Canberra. Not a bad holiday overall, there just wasn't much to do. It's such a weird place."
- Capital-Rhubarb
"If you're a nerd like me, then you never get tired of visiting Canberra. All the national institutions, museums, galleries, libraries, courts, parliaments new and old, decent food and beer, and beautiful walks around the lake. Not a touristy place at all for most people, but I love it."
- pistola
"Absolutely agree. Canberra should theoretically be a great city… but it’s just a bit... off?"
- aimztw
Las Vegas
"Las Vegas. The Douchebag Capital of America. When all our kids were in summer camps, my wife wanted to go on a lark. I've been to multiple conventions here, so it's old hat to me."
"The weather was actually unusually mild for late June, so no complaints there. But, having been to LV on both business and pleasure now, every visit follows the same pattern."
"Day One: Oh, cool. Neon! Wayne Newton! Weird architecture! Naked excess!"
"Day Two: Okay. Yeah, seen that and done that. And no, I don't want to deal with a gauntlet of guys handing me t*tty flyers as I walk down the street. F**k, I just want to have a drink in peace without somebody's rowdy bachelor party going on two tables over."
"And I really am bothered watching that 80-something woman feed quarters into a slot machine for fourteen consecutive hours. She was there this morning, she was there when I went back to my room, and now she's there at 10 tonight. Like she's grown a taproot or something. That woman's the real Las Vegas, not what you see in the ads. This place is like a really f**king hot Gatlinburg with slot machines."
"Day Three: Get me out of this place. Red Rocks. The Hoover Dam. Any place but this soul-sucking, tacky-a**ed, gimcrack s**thole. Short of Gary, Indiana, or a Calcutta slum, this has to be the most depressing place on the planet."
- AnybodySeeMyKeys
"The perfect way to do Vegas is to fly in early on a Saturday, do all the pool stuff, or golf, or see some of the sights. Have a nice lunch, and maybe play some games. Eat a really nice dinner, gamble and drink all night, and fly out before noon the next day. One night, in and out."
- SeeYouOn16
Gatlinburg
"Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge, Tennessee."
"I went a few times in the 90s and it was great. Nice hiking, beautiful views, and a secluded cabin. Just nice and relaxing."
"I went again in 2018 and you couldn’t pay me enough to ever go anywhere near there again. Traffic is a nightmare, tourist trap, s**tty food, crowded hiking trails, the views are littered with McMansion-style 'cabins.'"
"And our 'secluded cabin with mountain views' we went down in a valley with 10 other cabins. Our Mountain View was out of one window on the top floor if you looked up at the right angle. Worst vacation ever, I couldn’t wait to leave."
- PhobiaToyBox
Marmaris
"Marmaris, Turkey."
"Just constant harassment from locals who assume you're rich and my Black mate would be called Eddie Murphy or Micheal Jordan (which he thought was kinda funny as he's a short a**)."
"Such a dirty overcrowded s**t hole."
- Hankstinkbuckle
Liechtenstein
"Liechtenstein. It wasn't bad, just not very interesting."
"Also, both my friends and I got horrific food poisoning in a café before heading to the airport to fly home. We all had the s**ts, and I even ended up vomiting into the X-ray tray when going through security, causing me to miss my flight. Not my finest holiday."
- TheWouldBeMerchant
Dominican Republic
"I went to a destination wedding at a resort in the Dominican Republic. I paid full price for a room that wasn’t as nice as advertised (jungle view is actually a vista of more damn buildings) and they wouldn’t stop pestering us to attend timeshare sales meetings."
"It wasn’t safe to venture off the resort. Never going back."
- BlueLarkSpur_1929
"In Dominican Republic, my friend's parents paid for a guided tour, and at the end of the trip, the guide took all of their money and valuables."
"He was meant to have been really funny and charismatic, they thought he was joking at first."
- TheRealSlabsby
Jordan
"My Jordan experience was sexist."
"I have to say everywhere I've been to has been great, but, speaking for my ex-wife, I'd have to say Jordan."
"She surprised me for my 30th Birthday with a trip to Jordan. She also wanted to prove that the scene in Indian Jones (the third one, I think?) in Petra is real."
"The hotel staff was very condescending to my wife, looking at me to 'take over' and handle it. Kept asking me questions while she was standing right in front of them. At one point, she went down to get money off the credit card and they refused her. I took HER, not my, credit card and they gave me money without batting an eye."
"Tour guides were very unresponsive to her questions, and conversation, and engaged me as a tour guide would."
"We decided to head out a day early, not much to do after ruins and Petra. She called the airlines, and they refused to change the tickets, informing her there was no room. She went into Karen mode to no avail. Frustrated, she hung up the phone after probably 30 minutes."
"Something told me I should call them. I called right after her, and they were more than happy to put us on an earlier flight."
"We got... extra security... when we left. We were used to random questions, passport checks. That comes with traveling the world."
"First, an armed guard did the passport checks, asking us all sorts of questions about WHY caps on purpose, we went here, and WHY we went there. Very aggressive. Consulted with another armed guard and let us go. Then, while sitting down, a uniformed military person say down next to us and started questioning us."
"I would definitely go again, but I would advise my significant other about the experience."
- ReticenceDriftShadow
Albania
"Albania 2022. It was full of trash, scammers, and s**t quality everything. All the cities are so worn down and everything is concrete grey. No beautiful old towns like Croatia, Spain, and Italy."
"Every beach we visited was full of jetski jerks, waterbikes, and garbage. All the restaurants/bars/beach clubs were competing to play the loudest music. The only thing tolerable to enjoy was some scenic nature when driving far away from everything, but still, you would walk around in garbage if you stepped out of the car."
"And that rental car was moldy and s**t to drive. We had booked a newer model car, but that was stuck on a truck in France (sure thing) but we would get a 100 euro refund and get a very nice car instead. It looked like a bear had attacked the car. We're still waiting for that refund. Hate it!"
- ColdFeedPotatoe
Branson, Missouri
"Branson, Missouri. I will never go again until I'm a senior citizen."
- el_monstrueo
"I’ve said that for years. It’s only fun if you’re under 12 or over 70."
"I had a great time at Silver Dollar City a couple of times as a kid. Then I went in my mid-20s and thought I would die of boredom."
"Now, in my 40s, I’d enjoy more of the rural-type things near there, like fishing, boating, kayaking, hiking, etc. But you would not get me anywhere near that awful Branson main drag."
- mmm_unprocessed_fish
Venice, Italy
"Venice in mid-June eight or nine years ago. The city itself is impressive and the architecture is marvelous, but it was terribly crowded, full of tourists and street scammers/ suspicious ambulant vendors, also everything was at least twice as expensive as other lovely but more low profile places we saw in Italy."
- Latham_Scandelieus
Southern Illinois
"I went to Southern Illinois at Christmas time. First time I'd been there. Flat, desolate, brown, and f**king cold. It's like being on a s**t version of the moon where everything f**king sucks. Awful."
"I went there in spring once though, it was lovely."
- Doctor_WhiskyMan
Delhi
"Delhi. Unfortunately stayed in the worst part and almost lost my leg the first night we were there."
"I was in a tuk-tuk crash and had I not been a tourist and looking around, I wouldn’t have seen it a moment before it happened and my leg would have been crushed between the tuk-tuk and the road barrier. The whole side of it crumpled in and needed lifting back onto the road. Very frightening."
- ItsYaBoyTC
Jamaica
"Jamaica. Upon leaving the resort it was immediately obvious that the place was unsafe for tourists. The resort itself was adequate and we didn't mind staying within the bubble, someone with plans to explore the island was sure to be disappointed or dead or both."
- cutelyaware
"My wife and I went to pick Ocho Rios for our honeymoon. Our room was a 'jungle view,' meaning it was in the part of the property across the road from the main hotel and restaurants. They had golf carts that you called to bring you back and forth. We were warned not to cross on our own, as once we left the gate, we were subject to police harassment or getting assaulted by local criminals."
- pedantic_dullard
Sihanoukville
"Sihanoukville, Cambodia. We left after one night despite having booked for longer. Empty, abandoned concrete skyscraper shells and loads of Chinese who are Triads. Horrible experience."
- Davelydelicious
While traveling is an important and enriching experience for a person to learn more about someone else's culture and beliefs, it's clear that there are some experiences that will be had that are better off not being repeated.
People fighting with their own insecurities will go to great lengths to overcome them.
Unfortunately, some of those tactics come at a cost, especially if the endeavor to attain a desired status is a vanity project rather than an improvement of a person's well-being.
Curious to hear from strangers online who pursued a superficial achievement, Redditor Beneficial_Form8563 asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to try to be cool?"
These people were more concerned about keeping up with appearances.
Showing Off Your Seat
"Wore my pants backwards during the 90s when kriss kross was popular, so glad we didn't have social media back then."
– Rocjames77
Undesired Contrast
"Tanning booths."
"Had a lady friend that was into those. I only did it like 5 times. I was so dark, the grey hair on my chest were literally glowing."
– mrxexon
Hot Gangsta
"In junior high I wore a hoodie all year because I thought it would make me look gangsta. This included those balmy 90+ degree Texas days."
– Old_Army90
Causing A Spectacle
"In 1st grade, I was very jealous of people with glasses. I wore an old pair of my mom's sunglasses and said they were prescription. So I was, what, 6ish, wearing GIANT 1970s woman's sunglasses and couldn't see sh*t."
"My teacher saw right through it, of course (something I couldn't do). She didnt call me out, just humored me, to a point."
"I kept taking them off to read the chalkboard and she told me to put them back on. She called my mom and explained the situation. Mom picked me up from school and all I remember is denying it, and then my mom expressed her disappointment that I'd lie to her and to a teacher."
"So I told kids I switched to contacts (which were barely a thing then, especially for kids)."
– ahhh_ennui
These Redditors didn't think about consequences.
Amateur Acrobat
"When I was 8 my sister had her friends over, all teenagers, and trying to be cool I jumped on the trampoline in front of them and told them I’d do a backflip. I’d never done a backflip so I landed on my neck, bounced off the trampoline and broke my wrist."
– Artemis64z
Painful Experiment
"Tried to strike a Zippo lighter on my 'stubble'. I was about fifteen; it was fluffy hair. Ripped a zit out of my face. Looked like I’d been shot. Still have an odd clump of scar tissue in my cheek."
– goodassjournalist
The Chugger
"Went to a party and chugged 6 Mike's Hard Lemonades and then threw up for several hours. Nobody else at the party was even a little drunk."
– AdamBombKelley
These people missed the mark when they were seeking to be cool.
The Rebel
"Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail."
– anon
Hair Don't
"had my mullet cut off but left a rat tail, then had it braided."
– TrailerParkPrepper
Wet Disguise
"Spilled my drink to hide that I pissed my pants. Was too cool to say I needed a bathroom."
"EDIT: Before one more of you tell me that was actually smart, it was not: The problem was that it was November, we were outside drinking and smoking to hide from our parents. So when I did the quick thinking how to hide my wet pants I forgot that pee is warm.. and it was a cold night. So my pants were kind of.. steamy lol. I was 22 and a bit drunk 🤷♀️"
– SnicketyLemon875
Targeting The Teacher
"Not stupid just mean and regret it. Some of the popular kids were being my friend, or just pretending to be I don't know. I stole one of the nice teachers candy bars out of her cupboard. I didn't get caught, so I saw her take out the empty box, and look around the room disappointed. Felt like garbage."
– HooterEnthusiast
I was always the class clown in elementary school, and I loved making my classmates laugh.
One time, I tried pretending like I was walking into a closed-door classroom while intentionally not looking where I was going.
To make it look like my face slammed into the door, I planned to kick the door before my face actually hit it to simulate impact.
I misjudged the distance and my mouth slammed into the door.
My adult teeth that had just grown in didn't fall out, but they did get knocked out of alignment and my gums gushed blood.
Well, at least I still got the laughs I was seeking...at a painful cost.
What was your dumbest move to appear cool?