Full confession, my closest friends often tell me I'm the dumbest genius they know. I breezed through school, handle advanced concepts with ease - and I spent ten minutes looking for my phone in the dark by using the flashlight app on my phone. The saddest part is I didn't even realize how dumb I was being on my own. I tried to recruit my ten-year-old to help me and she just stood there staring at the phone in my hand with the sort of silent pre-teen judgy face you see in sitcoms.
She didn't even have to say out loud how ashamed she was of me. She just stared until I finally got it and went "oh... wait... the phone is in my hand." Then she sighed and walked silently back to her room.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the strangest thing your brain made you do on "autopilot"?
Since I do that sort of stupidly silly thoughtless stuff on a daily basis, I felt like maybe this would be the thread for me. I wasn't wrong. I'm taking comfort in the fact that I've never forgotten that I quit a habit or just showed up on my ex's porch by accident... yet.
60. Sock Trash
Went to put the trash in the clothes bin and the dirty socks in the trash can.
59. Sandwich Time
Made a sandwich with some expensive pate left over from Christmas and combined it with some lovely cheese from a local castle.
I then cut it in half and put the knife on the plate and threw half the sandwich in the sink where I was soaking a pan from earlier.
57. Man's Best Friend
Sleep deprivation from grief does things to your head. I live at home and work from home - when my dog I've had since childhood passed, I was utterly devastated. It was sudden, it was awful and I felt so guilty like, there was something I should've seen... But in the end, he was gone.
During my sleep deprivation period, I would wake up, go to let the dog out and feed him as part of my morning routine and then go make myself breakfast.
When I saw his food bowls weren't there on their tray, it didn't register to me. I thought he just knocked them under the table again. I got the door to the backyard open and called out for him.
And then it hit me all over again. The day he passed I went to go shove leftovers from dinner into his bowl when I had taken too much to eat and that set me off badly. With the calling him incident, I just went back to my room and curled up in bed until 3 PM.
I did things like that a LOT because I wasn't sleeping. At all.
That stands as the strangest... and saddest. Sorry...
- Storm137
56. In The Trash
Back in the 90's I had a long phone call (land line) with a friend. When the call was over, I threw the phone in the garbage.
55. Buckle In For This Jam
I sat down at my drum set, put my feet on the pedals and reached to put my seat belt on.
54. Chilled Electronics
I guess putting a remote or some other electronic inside the refrigerator? I don't even remember what it was, it's a common occurrence for me to sometimes just randomly put things that don't belong there after making a sandwich, maybe I should stop sleeping at 2 AM considering I have to wake up at 8.
53. Chalk Or Carrot
When I was like 3 or 4, I had chalk and a carrot in my hands. I bit into the chalk. I still remember this.
52. Lollipop
Back when I used to smoke, I had a cigarette in one hand a lollipop in the other. You can imagine the rest...
51. Green Means Go
I've stopped at green traffic lights as if they were stop signs after driving through many previous intersections that had stop signs.
50. It was for safe keeping
Made meat balls, out off a bag, in the oven. Kind of a meal prep thing so I made a lot. When they were done I put them in a Tupperware container and then put the Tupperware container back into the Tupperware drawer. Didn't even think about them until the following night when I needed more Tupperware. Glad I found them before they started to rot. 10ampfuse
49. That's not autopilot...that's Vodka!Â
Diving over 100 miles home and not recalling any of it. Suddenly waking up in the driveway wondering how i got there but don't remember doing it. MonKnee
48. It Burns!
Once, I washed my eye makeup with nail polish remover. I can tell you, it hurt! madamecoucoucriss
47. What are your specials?
Bit late to the show here, but here goes.
Used to work 3rds at a fast food place, coming home most mornings absolutely exhausted. Came home one day and promptly fell into bed and passed out. Some amount of time later, someone showed up at my apartment complex and rang the security buzzer, which woke me up.
I trudged out of bed, shambled to the front door, and held down the 'talk' button. "Welcome to [restautant], how can I help you?" HuoXue
46. Old Habits
While getting acclimated to my new job, being half awake at 5:45, I have driven to my old job several times. I now consciously tell myself "don't turn here." rr_0223
45. Oh Jenahhhh!Â
I've got a few...
Take off my shoes and socks, in class.
Bit into my keys when my sandwich was in the other hand.
And this one was pretty stupid, but I was on complete autopilot while driving and, I guess because there was not car in front of me, I blew through a red and didn't even notice till my friend yelled at me.
Oh and routinely answering the phone with "hello this is jenahhh from eye best, what can I do for you?" After quitting my phone job there.
44. A bathroom comfort
Leave my purse on the counter by the sink in a multi-stall restaurant bathroom. My work has a single bathroom with a shower and everything so I guess setting my stuff on the counter by the sink became a habit. It was a good thing no one else came in and that my friend was waiting on me. Lol
43. Ding Dong Gratitude
When I worked at Panda Express, everytime a customer would round up to the next dollar to donate to charity, we would have to ring a bell and everyone yells "Thank you!" Well for awhile after I quit everytime I heard anything close to a bell sound I would randomly yell thank you. It's happened multiple times.
42. Great Minds
Not super strange, but a funny coincidence. I stopped to get gas, I pulled up to the pump went inside and bought a soda then got in my truck and left. Didn't realize I forgot gas until a mile later when my gas light came on so I pulled into the next station where my brother happened to be walking out of the store with a soda. I told him what I just did and he looks back at his car, parked not a pump but at the store, and says "holy crap I was about to do the same thing." So we had a good laugh and got our gas and went our separate ways.
41. How About a Snuggle?
Arriving exhausted from work, walked like a zombie to the house, straight to my room and completely undressed as soon as I got inside, completely forgetting that a friend is with me. A lady friend that is...
We still laugh about it to this day... lgfmjr
40. Life in SleepÂ
I am a sleep walker. Apparently, everything, including but not limited to, walking, cooking, moving furniture, sex, going outside, eating anything, and one one occasion driving. It's always played for laughs on TV, but it can be terrifying.
39. Shady Pines Ma
I sat on the toilet and was about to pee before I realized I still had my pants on.
38. Maybe You Should Rest
Drove to my ex-wife's house, my old house, after work about ten years after leaving. I even wondered who the heck was in my driveway, which reminded me I don't have a driveway anymore.
Using a flashlight to look for my flashlight in the tent.
Using my phone to call my phone because I couldn't find it.
Sigh... 40_watt_range
37. I like Free Pizza!Â
I wouldn't necessarily call this "autopilot" as it's only happened once, but I was on a first date with this girl, and we were walking past a pizzeria that had an open-air dining area that was right next to the sidewalk, separated with a short fence. While walking past a table that had a couple eating, I just grabbed a piece of pizza. I don't know why I did it, my body just acted. I immediately apologized afterwards and offered to pay for the pizza, and was COMPLETELY embarrassed.
36. Rinse, lather, repeat!Â
Was attempting to wash hair in the shower, grabbed body soap instead of shampoo and rubbed that into hair. Realized what I'd done, proceeded to wash soap out and go for the shampoo. Grabbed the body soap AGAIN, rubbed it into hair a second time, pondered all of my life's mistakes as I re-washed it out. orangeintheovercast
35. Stare at it long enough, it'll change.Â
Waiting for the stop sign to turn green. dandalyisgod
You know what? One time I treated a stop light like a stop sign and did not even realize until I was about 30 feet passed the red light I had just ran. I gasped. Really lucky it was night time and no one was around. That could've been really bad. FiddleSticks3333
34. The Effort Counts....Â
Make a beautiful stock out of a chicken carcass. Pour it into a colander to filter out the bones. Thus resulting in a colander full of bones and the stock down the drain. TheseWereThePlaces
33. Always finish the coffee!Â
Woke up. Grab the salt and pepper shakers I kept in my room when I was a teenager. Brought them out to the kitchen. Started making coffee while still holding the shakers. Halfway through realized I was still holding the shakers. Put them back in my room. Got dressed for school and left.
My mom yelled at me that night for not finishing making the coffee. Trackingwest
32. As clean as can be!Â
Put hand soap on my toothbrush like I'd done it 1000 times. Kakorat237
31. Let's have peace!Â
A guy threw a chair at me when I was a bouncer from the second floor arcade and shattered it on my head. I turned around, saw the guy staring at me in absolute horror, pointed at him keeping eye contact the entire time, gently grasped him by both shoulders and walked him back down the stairs, out the front door then sat down on the sidewalk curb and then came to my senses around 4 AM at the emergency room with a text containing the security footage of me doing this because I had suffered a pretty bad concussion and don't remember anything that night.
30. Who is gaslighting me?
In my twenties i once took something out of the freezer and placed my tv remote back in there. It took me 5 days to find it, i looked everywhere for it. I looked in the car like 4 times alone even though i knew it couldn't be there, i looked under the mattress, removed all the pillows from the couch I don't know how many times. Every drawer at least 3 times.
The worst part is that I didn't find it, a friend of mine did, he was visiting and asking if he could have something to eat i said sure take whatever you like, check the freezer. 2 minutes later he said "why is your remote in the freezer?"
Mind blown.
29. The Soft Spark
I wanted toasted marshmallows so I found the grocery list and a pen. I wrote "Marshmallows" and "Fire." Stopitpoodle
28. Denny's it is!Â
Woke up, took a shower, packed my lunch, then started driving to work. About 20 minutes into the drive a realized it was very dark. It was about 3am. I worked 2nd shift, didn't need to be in until 1:30pm. Also it was a Sunday, the shop was closed on Sundays. Decided to eat breakfast at Denny's before heading back and going back to sleep. ZefyrGaming
27. A Universal Pass.Â
Bought a coffee from the little shop at the train station, and tried to pay for it by holding my monthly pass up at the barista. nullagravida
26. Information is Key?
Tried to unlock my locker using a usb stick. It was a flip up usb as well so I first put it against the lock, saw that I hadn't flipped out the bit you stick into a computer so pushed that out and then tried to unlock my locker again. Marshmallowboats
25. Bravo to Whomever!Â
My dad was watching some awards show on tv while I was on my computer. The crowd clapped after a winner was announced and I started clapping along even though I wasn't paying attention in the slightest. interrupting_milk
24. Look Down
Keep in mind I was in grade 1.
I was wearing my snow pants while frantically running around asking everyone where my snow pants are. Why did no one tell me. Nexio8324
23. Just Hold Me
Seriously sleep deprived new dad; standing still in the fresh produce isle pushing the trolley back and forth, like a pram. A very nervous cleaner came up to me and asked me if I was ok. I was doing it for about 10 minutes.
A few months later, baby is with the grandparents, standing outside, holding my wife, and we both start rocking back and forth. Our non-parents friends burst out laughing. maxil_za
22. Where was I going?Â
Noticing my fuel light was on, I pulled off the highway to fill up. As I start to fuel, the attendant comes up and explains that they do the fueling in Oregon; it's not self serve.
Oh alright. I step aside and begin to sort out my priorities for the day. Let's see, I left my house in Tacoma to go to Costco. So what am I doing in Portland? lacedstraight
21. Uniformed Sleep
Woke up, changed, wore my school uniform, almost got out the house when my mum stopped me. Turns out, I was napping after I came from school. So I just woke up, changed from the uniform, put it on again, then was about to leave. riot_ball
20. The Stroke
Brushing my teeth one time while wondering round the house and without thinking I just spat the toothpaste out on the floor.
Thought I had a stroke or something
19. The Night Nurse
I used to work in telephone triage (the nurses you call at all hours of the night for advice), and would sometimes have to call the on-call doctor for additional help or to call in a prescription.
And on nights when I wasn't working, I would call my mom at night and our conversations would end with "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!"
You see where this is going...
One night around 1am, I called the on-call doc to ask a question and she ended the conversation with "Good night".
So my sleep-deprived autopilot brain immediately responded with "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!"
The best part? Her equally sleep-deprived brain responded with "Ok, love you too!" before hanging up.
She called back about 2 minutes later and we had a good long laugh about it.
18. Dream Clock
Morning alarm went off (in winter, so still dark) got up, made coffee, fed the dog, took her out, looked around and realized it was 'too' dark came back inside and realized it was 3AM not 6AM, I had dreamt the alarm and never questioned it... the pathetic thing is we have many decorative clocks. I must have walked by 5 while getting ready.
17. Spit
I was driving my car and had a build up of saliva. So I rolled down the window to spit outside. I then looked down, and spat directly on my crotch while driving.
16. The Ex's Front Porch
Drove myself to my ex girlfriends house when I was supposed to be going to dinner with my new girlfriend. I didn't snap out of it until I was on my ex's front porch about to knock. I went to turn away when my ex opened her door asking why I was there and if everything was okay. I just awkwardly stumbled over my words, turned away and walked back to my car and drove off.
15. Ka-Chunk-Flash-Flash
Spend a good minute trying to unlock my front door with my car remote, while my car is sat about five yards behind me going ka-chunk-flash-flash every time.
14. I Forgot I QuitÂ
I stopped at a gas station, went inside and bought a pack of cigarettes. I went to my car, opened them. Wadded up the foil pieces, removed a cigarette and lit it. It tasted like I just licked a dirty ashtray. That's when I remembered that I had quit 6 months earlier.
I went back inside and left the pack on the counter, told the guy working that I forgot I quit.
- Euphtech
13. A Whole Shelf
Put ALL the toilet paper in the fridge. There was a whole shelf of cold toilet paper.
12. A Few Too Many
I went to a bar near my ex's apartment. The whole night I was thinking I can have a couple more than usual if I want to, I'll just walk home. It was only when I was walking up the stairs to her apartment that I remembered that we broke up two weeks ago and I live on the other side of town.
11. The Train Ride Home
Left work and walked a mile to the train station. Then I took the 45 minute train ride back to my home town. I got out of the train like normal, looked around the parking lot... and suddenly remembered that I drove to work that day.
- Hrekires
10. Don't Swallow The Ring
I believe mild heat exhaustion came into play in this scenario, it was a summer day & my boyfriend and I were hanging out by my pool and ended up falling asleep in the sun for a few hours. We went inside for a snack & then napped in my room, with the door shut so no air circulation.
Woke up suddenly in the dark to my phone alarm to take my birth control, and in my disoriented state I opened the ring box on my night stand & popped the ring inside into my mouth. I sat there feeling the metal on my tongue for a solid thirty seconds thinking something didn't feel right, but arguing with myself that this was something I did every day. I won the argument and didn't swallow the ring.
9. Wrong Hand
When I was around 12 I got given a $10 bill to go buy a sub from Subway. In my other hand I had a receipt which I intended to throw away. One thing in each hand so I couldn't mix them up, right? Wrong. I used the wrong hand. I put the $10 in the trash and walked to subway before realizing what I did, luckily it was still there when I looked in the trash can!
- ClubWRX
8. Buckle Up For This Jam Session
I sat down at my drum set, put my feet on the pedals ... aaaaaaand reached to put my seat belt on.
7. Desolate Roads
Strangest? Let's say scariest.
I live in very rural Midwest, and spend lots of weekends driving flat, straight, 1 and 2 lane highways/interstates with very little traffic and nothing to look at off the highway.
Several trips I have completed, and when arriving at my destination, think to myself where the heck the past X hours just go? I don't remember a moment from them. It's like my brain just shuts off out of boredom.
People will try to be justice warriors and condemn anyone who texts and drives at any chance they get, but you don't know how desolate the country can be (especially those in populous states/cities). Some of the drives require absolutely bare minimum attention. So naturally I gravitate to my phone, music, the views around me, etc. and it's baffling how little I actually pay attention to the road sometimes.
I should clarify, when I get into residential areas, any sort of traffic, etc. I put my phone down. I do consider myself to be a good, responsible driver. But I do believe that "absolutely no texting and driving ever" is unrealistic.
6. Calling The Dog
Sleep deprivation from grief does f*cked up sh!t to your head. I live at home and work from home - when my dog I had since childhood passed, I was utterly devastated. It was sudden, it was awful and I felt so guilty like, there was something I should've seen... But in the end, he was gone.
During my sleep deprivation period, I would wake up, go to let the dog out and feed him as part of my morning routine and then go make myself breakfast.
When I saw his food bowls weren't there on their tray, it didn't register to me. I thought he just knocked them under the table again. I got the door to the backyard open and called out for him.
And then it hit me all over again. The day he passed I went to go shove leftovers from dinner into his bowl when I had taken too much to eat and that set me off badly. With the calling him incident, I just went back to my room and curled up in bed until 3 PM.
I did sh!t like that a LOT because I wasn't sleeping. At all.
That stands as the strangest... and saddest. Sorry...
- Storm137
5. Soaked Sandwich
Made a sandwich with some expensive pate left over from Christmas and combined it with some lovely cheese from a local castle.
I then cut it in half and put the knife on the plate and threw half the sandwich in the sink where I was soaking a pan from earlier.
4. Wet Clothes
My nightly routine involved changing into my jim-jams, having a wee then putting my clothes in the laundry hamper. One night I dumped my clothes into the toilet bowl and was half-way to peeing in the hamper before I clicked back to reality.
3. Back To The Start
I was walking back to my flat from the train station. I have to wait near a bus stop to cross the road. It takes me about 2 minutes to walk home from the bus stop. All I need to do is wait for a break in traffic and cross.
The bus arrives while I'm waiting. For whatever stupid reason, I get on the bus. I then pay for my destination, which is the train station, right back where I started from.
The station is 20 minutes walk away from my flat - I should know because I JUST WALKED IT. I would have had to wait for another bus to leave, which would have taken another 30-40 minutes. So I walked. Again.
God, that was an excruciating journey home.
- smidgit
2. The Bathroom Key
I do it all the time with the bathroom at work. My office is inside of a larger office building so we share a bathroom with the other tenants. It's also locked to prevent non-employees from using it.
I can't count the number of times I've been on auto-piloted and did weird things with the key. Like putting the key in my pocket right away and then being confused why the bathroom door wouldn't open;
I've gone to the bathroom and completely forgotten the key; I've tried to unlock our office door with the bathroom key; I've tried to use the office key to unlock the bathroom; I've tried to use the bathroom key on the inside of the office lock when leaving for the bathroom.
You'd think that something as simple as opening a bathroom door wouldn't cause so much trouble, especially after using it at least once a day, five days per week.
1. Porch Diapers
We cloth diaper my son. A normal change goes: stuff new diaper with inserts, take off old diaper, clean butt, button new diaper. Wipes in the trash, diaper in the bucket by the washing machine.
I stuffed the clean diaper, took off the old one. Wiped his butt, put the old one back on, and threw the clean diaper on our front porch.
My brain was telling me i needed to feed the dog (on the porch) after the diaper change. My poor kid was still laying on the floor like, "This isn't right..." and my husband told me to go take a nap.
H/T: Reddit
There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.
I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.
After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.
"Playing music..."
<p>Playing music or having a 'private' conversation via speaker phone in a public place.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginci58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LLCoolBrap</a></p>"When they exhibit..."
<p><strong></strong>When they exhibit a personality trait that I also have, and don't like about myself. Every time I find myself being dismissive or judgemental of somebody, it's just my own insecurity.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iotangle42</a></p>"When I'm talking..."
<p>When I'm talking and they are not listening. Like they are not even trying to pretend that they are listening.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gincjto?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">eat-the-rich-07</a></p>"Because one of these days..."
<p>A person can treat me like a princess but as soon as I see them mistreating either animals or people, I am out of there. Because one of these days, you'll be on that receiving end.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginpr97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">starlightradio</a></p>"It just screams..."
<p>Telling people to smile. It just screams condescending and a lack of emotional intelligence.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">3FoolsinaTrenchcoat</a></p>"When I hear that..."
<p>Grown ups using "baby talk" to try to get what they want. I'm not talking about when people goo-goo at babies, but when they use a silly whiney voice to try to persuade people or make people do them a favour.</p><p>"Aww, pwease hewp me wiv dis wittle pwoject."</p><p>When I hear that I instantly lose respect for that person, be it a stranger or someone I know.</p><p>Pet peeve.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginbwb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">handsahwill</a></p>"Okay, we get it..."
<p>One-upping people. "Yeah, that's pretty good, but one time I..." Okay, we get it, your life is more amazing than everyone else's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginhrkd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">well-uh-yeah</a></p>"When out driving..."
<p><strong></strong><strong></strong>When out driving, someone who pulls out in front of you, then proceeds to go 5-10+ mph under the speed limit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuzzMcBeefy84</a></p>"If you don't..."
<p>Talking negatively about anyone who's just trying to have a good time in a fun setting. If you don't have nice to say shut the hell up.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio4vf5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">intergLACTIC</a></p>"When people..."
<p>When people put other people down to try and make themselves look better. "Oh I'm just playing around with them we're friends." I don't care quit being an @ss you know what you're doing and you should be able to tell you're making them feel bad.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio9p3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inf303</a></p>"If it's into a drain..."
<p>Spitting on the pavement.</p><p>If it's into a drain, that's fair enough, sometimes you get phlegm and you need to get rid of it. Going for a drain shows you're at least considerate of other, imo. But on the floor where anyone can step in it (or if you're in a wheelchair, get it all over your hands from pushing the wheels) is just gross.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginojq3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghostmadlittlemiss</a></p>When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.
Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.
Homemade TarantulaÂ
<p>"Dental student here. Black hairy tongue is a common condition and it's exactly what it sounds like." </p><p>"It's just caused by buildup of dead skin that becomes hair like because of tobacco use or antibiotic use. Usually combined with lack of frictional forces from brushing"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu9tdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Alarm-Potential</a></p>Load Em UpÂ
<p>"When a patient gets a kidney transplant, they usually leave the old 2 behind unless there's a significant problem with them."</p><p>"The extra kidney is just tucked in the peritoneum leaving the patient with 3 kidneys."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu6qjd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MedicalJargon-itis</a></p>Come On Mutations!
<p>"Every single melanocyte on your skin (you know, the ones that give your hairs color, and your skin its skin color) is connected to your sympathetic nervous system via modified synapses."</p><p>"No-one knows why they're connected that way - but we do know that under stress, those nerves nuke the pool of stem cells that create hair pigment, which is why it makes you go grey."</p><p>"A few mutations and you could theoretically be able to control them and change color like a chameleon."</p><p>"So in many ways, we're basically walking cuttlefish."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuyo29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PavlovaPalava</a></p>Play the Long Game, PeopleÂ
<p>"Humans can outpace any animal on the planet."</p><p>"No, we're not the fastest, but if we were chasing the fastest animal (cheetah) we would catch it and be able to keep going."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisujdr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bout3Fidy</a></p>Little Helpful CrittersÂ
<p>"There are little microscopic organisms living in your eyebrows, eating away at the dead skin."</p><p>"Don't freak out, they are very helpful and completely harmless, just a little gross"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giud33u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vid-Me-BossCheesburg</a></p>Thankfully That Filter is a Pretty Good OneÂ
<p>"Saliva is filtered blood. Your tears are too. And if you're too stressed out you can cry blood."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitshe5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>Imagine It All in a BottleÂ
<p>"I know that the average human churns out between 1 and 2 liters of saliva every day.... oh and we have parasites who are embedded in our hair follicles, and they eat away at our skin, thus causing Dandruff :,)"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisrxcc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Throwawayyy123451</a></p>So HotÂ
<p>"Humans give off so much body heat that in 30 min we can boil a gallon of water" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Financial-Ad-6050</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Rookie numbers" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuvqqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nopenothappening</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Pshh I can get a gallon of water boiling in like 10 minutes tops" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuhji3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ridiculouslygay</a></p>Oh DearÂ
<p>"Old ladies often have prolapse of their pelvic organs. This means their vaginal walls got so weak that it can no longer support their bladder or uterus."</p><p> -Nurse practitioner"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitopxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">vespertinas</a></p>Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.
Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.
For Fashion And Protection
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjkwNTU2OX0.6D-LIQ26JXH0-7OtPpG93HOtt41wAv62bGHMVvuAYpk/img.gif?width=980" id="7ff06" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6109fb5baf04f17deade8b58695881d1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />wound up season 3 GIFGiphy<p>I had a patient come in with lacerations to her fingers. Her blender got clogged and she stuck her hand inside to clear it. She cleared it and the blender resumed....um blending. Luckily, she had long acrylic nails. This helped lessen the impact.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitz5l4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bornagainchola</a></p>I'd Rather Go To Sleep
<p>Guy came in after being concerned the bed sheet had stuck to his lower leg. Turns out hed been using a petrol mower the evening before and it had exploded. Full thickness burn to his calf. No pain. He wanted to go home to feed his cows instead of being transferred to burns and plastics. Man it looked like white leather.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitkqf9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DamaskRoses</a></p>Why Play Typical Catch?
<p>Guy was camping with his frat buddies and they were firing air rifles at each other with a baseball glove on.</p><p>The pellet was lodged well into his hand. Like, how did you think this was going to end?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitq7lt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Milesofstyle</a></p>Close Eyes Off From The World
<p>I was in the ER as a patient next to a guy who was brought in via ambulance because he super glued his eye lids shut.</p><p>He was high as a kite, but so was I from the pain meds I'd been given for my own injury. Whatever meds I was given made me think everything was hilarious. I got yelled at by the nurses for laughing hysterically in the next room. He was being a pain in the a--, ER was on diversion already, and they were not amused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/githxnc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">brubarbal</a></p>That's Why It's Called A "Dog" Toy
<p>A few stand out. Person somehow swallowed a spiked dog toy.</p><p>Someone tried to reverse his circumcision by cutting more of his d-ck off with a pair of scissors.</p><p>About every object known to man up the bum. 🎵 if you like it then you shoulda put a string on it." 🎵</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitnt24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bsn2fnp1</a></p>Yeah, But, How?
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjAyNTM0OX0.Esaobyl7Yq7QltSxli0ZwjggE7j8A4gu0uNRnn1ZwUc/img.gif?width=980" id="95a28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f4eb7f0131c0d79db2de93fd2bbdc0af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>I've seen an internal vaginal laceration from someone climbing a fence while trying to see something happening down the street.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss2id?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">midturbinate</a></p>Again With The Butt...
<p>ER Nurse here</p><p>-We had a girl come in and who knows what she was doing but she had one of the thin glow sticks in her bladder, maybe some fun finger/glow play during a concert? I don't know but pretty wild.</p><ul><li>Also I had a Spanish speaking only gentleman explain why a shoe polish bottle was in his bum, we had to use a video interpreter due to the language barrier but it's was pretty wild to hear the interpreter say "I have a bottle of polish in my anus" after expecting him to just explain why he had belly pain. We also proceeded to print out multiple pictures of common types of shoe polish he used to ask him if it was "this one or that one". It was hilarious when he identified what one it was based on the picture, he had to go to the OR</li></ul><div><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AirFryersRule</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></div>Sounds Like A College Guy Thing To Do
<p>Had a university student who ignited a firework in his anus while drunk for the amusement of his buddies. It exploded, causing full thickness burns of his rectum, resulting in him needing a colostomy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss6l1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ArcofRiolan</a></p>Wow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDI4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDMyMzMyMn0.b42VhIpJrAsaFR19Cf55ZVkWnby5yTIrMhI73HVAImk/img.gif?width=980" id="3ccdf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50847094a4e17c16febbb35d2146f14f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />scared homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Operating theatre - this woman came in with a frozen chicken stuck inside her lady parts. Apparently she had a habit of buying them, inserting them and then pulling them out, as she really had a thing for going through childbirth, but on this occasion, she hadn't allowed time for it to defrost properly /adequately.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mike_OxonFaier/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mike_OxonFaier</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.
Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?