My birthday passed a few weeks ago. It went by like a whisper. And I cried. Now, I have to say I am lucky. Every birthday in my memory is a lavish bacchanal. I've had several surprise parties, dancing, way too much vodka and tons of celebration. But this year I just didn't have it in me to care. That could be Covid or age or wisdom... realizing, it is just another day. So we don't have to go crazy all of the time. We all stop celebrating birthdays for so many reasons. Just don't let it be for sad ones. You are worth a party.
Redditor u/AALO101 wanted to hear about why birthdays are not always the most celebratory of days by asking.... To those who no longer celebrate their birthdays, why?
Who Cared?
Happy Birthday Reaction GIFGiphyNo one ever made it special. So I stopped caring about it when I was much younger.
Overhype....
As a kid mine would be hyped up to be special and then limited to a few kids allowed, typically ended up being me and my craphead cousin that would steal my presents and open them without repercussion. I don't know if I ever hit him for it, but I probably did.
I don't remember most of the crap he pulled, but I know he did it because the year I got a Home Alone style TalkBoy Walkman he took it and recorded me crying and asking for it back. Decades later I rediscovered the toy and hit "Play" only to be hit with some PTSD style flashbacks.
The stuff I do remember only breeds resentment.
Don't Look at Me
Uncomfortable with the idea of being the center of attention for no reason other than existing.
Also realized something a bit screwed up recently. When I was a kid most of my little playmates were people who lived in our area seasonally because their families were vacationers. (My family was in the tourism business.) I wanted to invite them to my birthday party but Mom said no, because we wouldn't be able to return the favor of giving them gifts and going to their parties when it was their birthdays because they would be back at their homes.
So I got this idea that parties were just to get other people to do something nice for you, and it was rude to invite someone to your party to give you gifts if you wouldn't be able to reciprocate. With the way my life was structured, I didn't really have any local friends I cared to invite. So I never wanted a party beyond just having a cake and something good for dinner.
As an adult I let them slide by unnoticed until I married a guy who has the same birthday as I do. I don't want to ignore his birthday so we tend to make plans to go out for dinner or something, for both of us. Kind of forces me to celebrate mine too. Other than that, parties don't happen.
Ordinary
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyAt my age I really just don't care anymore. It's just another day to me.
COVID Celebration
This year was the best because my birthday fell during the week in March after stuff got crazy and everyone was scared to leave home. I got lots of phone calls and texts that day from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but no one expected me to attend a birthday dinner or party. I sat in my pajamas all day watching TIGER KING and eating junk food.
Loved it. 36 years it took me to get such a gift.
Pizzazzlessness....
I get more joy out of my children's birthdays than my own. They tend to appreciate and respond to the effort of the party more. At 40yrs old, I have had enough wild birthdays that when they come around now.. It is just me, the wife, and the kids, going out to dinner. No pizzazz or anything. Just the family.
Everybody Hurts
I remember when I discovered this myself.
One year, I ended up going to the cinema with a single friend, which actually turned out great. It was heavily snowing and we walked there alone as the roads were so bad, and it was empty as nobody could get there.
Then next year he moved away. I made new "friends", and everything seemed great on the surface.
Then I arranged a meet-up for my birthday, but leading up to it they all dropped out one by one (the last 2 on the day), leaving me alone. I realized that they weren't real friends, even though they acted like it at school, and I ended up pretty isolated.
Ever since then, I prefer to not even tell anyone when my birthday is, because if they don't know, then they can't forget and disappoint me.
I Forget
sad birthday party GIFGiphyIt just reminds me how lonely I am so i completely pretend it doesn't exist.
I hate this day....
- Very few people to celebrate with. I dont have a ton of people who actually give a crap. I know a few people who would probably send me a gift if I asked but who wants to freaking ask someone for a birthday present?
- Inconvenient timing. I was born very close to Christmas so any attempts for a birthday celebration over the years has been thwarted by people always having family events or Christmas plays on the same day.
- It's just a particularly lonely day. If I had a partner or someone that considered me family, I'd probably be down to celebrate, but since I don't it doesn't really matter to me. Girl_You_Can_Train
More like Enemies....
Woo Hoo Season 7 GIF by FriendsGiphyI invited like, 10 of my "friends", and literally none of them showed up, even though they RSVPed. Even my "best friend" didn't show up. Then, maybe the next week, I see on snapchat, all my "friends" at one of their birthdays, so thats when I quit trying to have parties for that.
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