People Confess Their Personal Relationship Deal Breakers
Omar Medina Films / Pixabay

Some people have a list of deal breakers a mile long. Others (shout out to you, Libras!) can roll with pretty much anything as long as you're not a terrible person. Some people haven't actually put real thought into their deal breakers, which tends to pop up as a problem later on down the line.


Personally, if a person has done their work, we share values, and they bring a solid playlist to the game, they've got a good chance of getting my attention. But my absolute deal breaker is fun.

If you don't approach life with an eye for fun then we absolutely cannot be in a romantic relationship. I have a blast by myself and laugh my way through the day. If a person isn't improving that, then no thank you.

One Reddit user asked:

What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?

So let's talk about it, fam!

Patient And Supportive

I have a good deal of trauma that I am working through in therapy, as well as depression and anxiety.

If someone can't be patient with me and supportive of my healing then they've no place in my life as a romantic partner. And because of my anxiety, with how bad it can get, I need someone who isn't going to yell or snap at me for it. I grew up with my parents telling me I was constantly over reacting and invalidating my emotions.

And then there's obvious things such as manipulation and cheating.

- WaywardCosmonaut

Nothing More Profoundly Selfish

mothers day smoking GIFGiphy

Smoking. Not going to deal with it. I don't want to smell your stink. I don't want to kiss an ashtray. I don't want to damage my lungs with your pollution. I don't want to watch you die a slow wasting death decades before you should have. I've watched it happen to half of my family. Your heart breaks. But you also hate them for it just a little bit...

There is nothing more profoundly selfish than smoking.

- Tuxedo-Duck

Clutter

Someone who isn't conscious about how much clutter there is in the house.

I lived in a house with my mother and she is an EXTREEEEME hoarder, and so the house is so cluttered. There's only like three paths in the entire house. They start from the couch where she sleeps and go to"

the bathroom

the TV

and the kitchen - which is the most disgusting room in the house. It's got all this dirty water in the sink, dead food in the entire room, and the fridge has mold growing in it.

I never let any of my friends come visit because of how disgusting it was. It's almost like the house from resident evil 7, but without the bits of broken down flooring and such.

Also, I was afraid that their parents weren't going to let me be their friend anymore. Now I keep my little apartment as clean as I can -with the exception of dust, because I don't own a duster.

- PDKSkeitter

The Deception Is The Problem

So I'll add one that's a bit unusual. I'm in a poly relationship with several people. Everyone knows; although not all of them are poly themselves, they at least know up front where I am.

The deal breaker is concealing a relationship. If one of my partners goes on a date with someone, I'm cheering for it to go well. I hope they had a great time, and it won't bother me at all if they develop a relationship.

So then, there's absolutely no reason to hide anything. If I find out that one of my partners has been seeing someone and hasn't told me, then the relationship is over, full stop. I don't care if you're seeing someone, why are you lying to me about it? The deception is the problem.

- throwaway414063

Changing The Deal Breakers Is A Deal Breaker

Going back on your word about a deal breaker and pretending like you didn't.

I don't care if you change your mind on something, but tell me. Don't just sit on it until it comes up.

My ex did this 2.5 years into the relationship, denied he ever agreed that something was a deal breaker. But he did agree, enthusiastically. He later told me I was ridiculous for it being a deal breaker.

I was adopted and given a wonderful life. I know it's not for everyone, and that's totally cool. But he went for hours about how great it was and that he'd love to give a good home to a child like one was given to me.

2.5 years in and he told me that it was stupid for that to be a deal breaker and I just wanted to do what my mom did, etc.

My current husband and I agreed that adoption is definitely on the table for us. It's not set in stone, but the option is there. Lots of kids need good homes.

- LeeVH1

A Fitness Fixation

frustrated jump GIFGiphy

Different fitness level than me. But I'm not talking about this in a "looks" way.

I'm really athletic and do athletic type stuff as a hobby: hiking, backpacking, climbing. But I do it to the max. I seek out extreme experiences. I enjoy harsh climates, test your metal type level stuff.

I've had partners that do this level of activity with me and its awesome, and that's what I prefer. So a partner needs to not only be interested in that stuff and capable of physically keeping up with it.

- areuseriousjk

Space Is A Must

If he won't give me my space.

I do not text back instantly, and I'm not into spending every waking moment in contact. I have other things I enjoy or need to engage in besides a romantic relationship, let me have my own life.

- gambitgrl

Being Overly clingy / jealous

My ex from college would text me all the time - on Facebook, MSM that would cluster my notifications, etc. They would get jealous of the dude that would sell me my favorite chocolate filled donuts or anyone really that spoke with me. Also, holding my arm like if I was gonna poof out of existence if they let go and give me some space.

- Milizapiainc

The List Potentially Expands Forever

Irresponsibility/unaccountability.

Using your phone constantly, even on a date.

Homophobia/racism/sexism/any form of hateful behaviour like that.

Wanting kids.

Having different love languages that the other person won't try to invest in.

Sex pests...!

Smoking.

Drugs.

Excessive drinking.

A lot of these I didn't know I had until previous relationships had presented these issues to me... They've now become a litmus test for any future relationships, and who knows, the list may expand with every new relationship I get. 😂

- blinkrandom

Shh

Talking during movies.

- Damnthatnotcheap

This cannot be upvoted enough.

When I go solo to the movies and people start talking, I've lost all patience for the insolence; you get one "shh", then I say "Hey Siskel and Ebert, save it for AFTER the movie"

...granted I haven't done it in a while since the movie theatre has been shut down for the past 6+ months. Prior to that I used to say "no one has paid to hear you talk, please stop"

I also go up to people who break out their phone and tap them on the shoulder and tell them "Please turn your phone off, it's disrupting the other patrons"

- DivorceAfterDisabled

Angry All The Time

There are a couple of little ones like being racist, messy, or have no social skills. But a big deal breaker for me is when they're angry all the time and do nothing about it.

Like in the mornings? I understand not being a morning person but mornings happen. Deal with it. When they don't want to ever go on a morning walk or make breakfast until 11am, etc. that's a deal breaker. I don't want to deal with someone who is always in a bad mood.

- Justin_C_82

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I may not be popular for saying this, but I think comedy is the best form of entertainment.

However, it’s not always easy to find great comedy.

There are lots of comedians who make me smile or even make me laugh at a joke or two. Yet, it’s really hard to find a comedian who can keep me laughing through their whole set.

If you’re having trouble finding those kinds of comedians, or are just ready to find a new comedian to enjoy, Redditors are here to help.

Probably hoping to find a great comedian themself, Redditor Plastic_Ad_6179 asked:

"Who's the best comedian of all time in your opinion?"

Sean Lock

"Sean Lock"

"For many reasons, but mainly for being the undisputed champion of the world in...Carrot In A Box:"

– Rymundo88

"What a HUGE talent. Luckily he left a lot of great footage. Terrible loss."

– Pan-tang

"The comedians comedian"

– FrederickBishop

George Carlin

"George Carlin."

"Honorable mention to Bill Burr."

– gobigred3562

"When I turned 21, my mom took me to Vegas. We saw Carlin perform and we laughed solidly for 90 minutes. I don’t remember any of the jokes, but I have never laughed like that since. He was a true master of the art."

– drCrankoPhone

"Carlin is the only correct answer. Nobody will ever touch that level of wit, wordplay, satire, and social commentary."

"Nobody."

– reflUX_cAtalyst

Mike Birbiglia

"I went to a Mike Birbiglia show at Zanies in Nashville back in 2008. Guy killed…got up on stage, told 1 story. Took him 90 minutes to get through that story. The whole time, he’s veering off on tangents that seemed completely natural, conversational even. Each tangent was a tiny hilarious story itself. The show seemed so smooth and flowed so naturally, that I could hardly believe it was written. It was masterful. Sure, he doesn’t tell jokes that leave you breathless with laughter, but he does tell jokes that get 90% of the way there with such consistency that I’m actually more impressed with that than the former."

– mavol

Norm MacDonald

"In terms of:"

  • "Being at the top of his game for a long period of time"
  • "Being perfect at timing and execution"
  • "Understanding comedy to a degree that other comedians notice and respect"
  • "Being clever and witty on the spot"
  • "Having memorable jokes and killer standup routines"

"Norm MacDonald"

– warpus

"My favorite story about Norm MacDonald I've heard is that when he was coming up if he bombed he'd wait in the back of the club after the show to shake everyone's hand in their way out. If he killed he wouldn't. What a legend."

– SixPieceTaye

"If you asked a group of comedians who their favorite comedian is I'd bet Norm would be near the top of the list. So much of his material was a deconstruction of comedy itself. If Norm MacDonald tells you a bad joke, and you laugh, is it still a bad joke? Why is it funny? Are you laughing at him or is he laughing at you?"

– foldingcouch

Mitch Hedberg

"Mitch Hedberg. RIP."

– onepotatotwopotato3

"I used to love that guy. I still do but I used to too."

– ChefHannibal

""I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.""

""F**k you, zzzzzzzzzzip""

– StarktheGuat

Monty Python

"Monty Python, as a group."

"I don't think there's been a single more influential comedy act than Flying Circus."

– EarlyBirdsofBabylon

"I agree with it just because it’s one of the few non-American mentions here. People seriously think that humor ends on American Stand Up and television…"

"Also Monty Python is ALWAYS funny"

– RockThePlazmah

Robin Williams

"Robin Williams."

– Flicksterea

"Live on Broadway stands as one of the most memorable things I have ever watched."

– Grimlock64

"Idk why he isn’t higher on this list or mentioned more often. Robin Williams had absolutely insane improv skills. Watch the episode of Who’s Line with him as the guest star, the rest of the cast can’t keep it together."

– _xXmyusernameXx_

Lucille Ball

"Lucille Ball"

– LusciousofBorg

"Scrolled this far to find a female comedian! Love Lucille Ball"

– boonybun

"I saw I Love Lucy was streaming a couple months ago. Having watched it as a kid, I figured I’d put it on for a nostalgic chuckle. I was not ready for that show to be so, so funny—I nearly passed out I was laughing so hard."

– mypantsareawesome

"She was a comedic genius."

– DrWorm_DD

Rowan Atkinson

"Rowan Atkinson (John Cleese closely second)"

– DarkFluids777

"Atkinson is such an amazing physical comedian that it’s basically overlooked that he’s a first-rate stand-up, as well."

– HilariousSpill

Eddie Murphy

"Eddie Murphy"

– onterrible1

"He saved SNL. They wouldn't be on air today were it not for Murphy"

– Blackgurlmajik

"Goat of comedy"

– IndependenceScary644

Comedy may not be everyone’s favorite form of entertainment, but it is a can’t miss, so long as the comedian in question is a good one.

Luckily, we’ve got some great suggestions above.