Some people have a list of deal breakers a mile long. Others (shout out to you, Libras!) can roll with pretty much anything as long as you're not a terrible person. Some people haven't actually put real thought into their deal breakers, which tends to pop up as a problem later on down the line.
Personally, if a person has done their work, we share values, and they bring a solid playlist to the game, they've got a good chance of getting my attention. But my absolute deal breaker is fun.
If you don't approach life with an eye for fun then we absolutely cannot be in a romantic relationship. I have a blast by myself and laugh my way through the day. If a person isn't improving that, then no thank you.
One Reddit user asked:
What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
So let's talk about it, fam!
Patient And Supportive
I have a good deal of trauma that I am working through in therapy, as well as depression and anxiety.
If someone can't be patient with me and supportive of my healing then they've no place in my life as a romantic partner. And because of my anxiety, with how bad it can get, I need someone who isn't going to yell or snap at me for it. I grew up with my parents telling me I was constantly over reacting and invalidating my emotions.
And then there's obvious things such as manipulation and cheating.
Nothing More Profoundly Selfish
mothers day smoking GIF
Giphy
Smoking. Not going to deal with it. I don't want to smell your stink. I don't want to kiss an ashtray. I don't want to damage my lungs with your pollution. I don't want to watch you die a slow wasting death decades before you should have. I've watched it happen to half of my family. Your heart breaks. But you also hate them for it just a little bit...
There is nothing more profoundly selfish than smoking.
Clutter
Someone who isn't conscious about how much clutter there is in the house.
I lived in a house with my mother and she is an EXTREEEEME hoarder, and so the house is so cluttered. There's only like three paths in the entire house. They start from the couch where she sleeps and go to"
the bathroom
the TV
and the kitchen - which is the most disgusting room in the house. It's got all this dirty water in the sink, dead food in the entire room, and the fridge has mold growing in it.
I never let any of my friends come visit because of how disgusting it was. It's almost like the house from resident evil 7, but without the bits of broken down flooring and such.
Also, I was afraid that their parents weren't going to let me be their friend anymore. Now I keep my little apartment as clean as I can -with the exception of dust, because I don't own a duster.
The Deception Is The Problem
So I'll add one that's a bit unusual. I'm in a poly relationship with several people. Everyone knows; although not all of them are poly themselves, they at least know up front where I am.
The deal breaker is concealing a relationship. If one of my partners goes on a date with someone, I'm cheering for it to go well. I hope they had a great time, and it won't bother me at all if they develop a relationship.
So then, there's absolutely no reason to hide anything. If I find out that one of my partners has been seeing someone and hasn't told me, then the relationship is over, full stop. I don't care if you're seeing someone, why are you lying to me about it? The deception is the problem.
Changing The Deal Breakers Is A Deal Breaker
Going back on your word about a deal breaker and pretending like you didn't.
I don't care if you change your mind on something, but tell me. Don't just sit on it until it comes up.
My ex did this 2.5 years into the relationship, denied he ever agreed that something was a deal breaker. But he did agree, enthusiastically. He later told me I was ridiculous for it being a deal breaker.
I was adopted and given a wonderful life. I know it's not for everyone, and that's totally cool. But he went for hours about how great it was and that he'd love to give a good home to a child like one was given to me.
2.5 years in and he told me that it was stupid for that to be a deal breaker and I just wanted to do what my mom did, etc.
My current husband and I agreed that adoption is definitely on the table for us. It's not set in stone, but the option is there. Lots of kids need good homes.
- LeeVH1
A Fitness Fixation
frustrated jump GIF
Giphy
Different fitness level than me. But I'm not talking about this in a "looks" way.
I'm really athletic and do athletic type stuff as a hobby: hiking, backpacking, climbing. But I do it to the max. I seek out extreme experiences. I enjoy harsh climates, test your metal type level stuff.
I've had partners that do this level of activity with me and its awesome, and that's what I prefer. So a partner needs to not only be interested in that stuff and capable of physically keeping up with it.
Space Is A Must
If he won't give me my space.
I do not text back instantly, and I'm not into spending every waking moment in contact. I have other things I enjoy or need to engage in besides a romantic relationship, let me have my own life.
Being Overly clingy / jealous
My ex from college would text me all the time - on Facebook, MSM that would cluster my notifications, etc. They would get jealous of the dude that would sell me my favorite chocolate filled donuts or anyone really that spoke with me. Also, holding my arm like if I was gonna poof out of existence if they let go and give me some space.
The List Potentially Expands Forever
Irresponsibility/unaccountability.
Using your phone constantly, even on a date.
Homophobia/racism/sexism/any form of hateful behaviour like that.
Wanting kids.
Having different love languages that the other person won't try to invest in.
Sex pests...!
Smoking.
Drugs.
Excessive drinking.
A lot of these I didn't know I had until previous relationships had presented these issues to me... They've now become a litmus test for any future relationships, and who knows, the list may expand with every new relationship I get. 😂
Shh
Talking during movies.
This cannot be upvoted enough.
When I go solo to the movies and people start talking, I've lost all patience for the insolence; you get one "shh", then I say "Hey Siskel and Ebert, save it for AFTER the movie"
...granted I haven't done it in a while since the movie theatre has been shut down for the past 6+ months. Prior to that I used to say "no one has paid to hear you talk, please stop"
I also go up to people who break out their phone and tap them on the shoulder and tell them "Please turn your phone off, it's disrupting the other patrons"
Angry All The Time
There are a couple of little ones like being racist, messy, or have no social skills. But a big deal breaker for me is when they're angry all the time and do nothing about it.
Like in the mornings? I understand not being a morning person but mornings happen. Deal with it. When they don't want to ever go on a morning walk or make breakfast until 11am, etc. that's a deal breaker. I don't want to deal with someone who is always in a bad mood.
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Of course, most of the time, it was “just a phase". And looking back, those phases are regrettable, to say the least. Here are some prime examples of that.
SirGergoyFriendman asked:
What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?
The enthusiasm of a young person can lead to some unexpected changes that parents are just not ready for.
Hi, Wheeljack!
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
Very 2008.
Ariana Grande Shrug GIFGiphyMy cat-ear phase. I wore cat ears every single day. Everywhere. I had like 20 pairs of them. Now everyone thinks I'm a furry.
I find that very cute and wouldn't have thought you'd be furry. Even if you'd had cat mittens. I think my suspicions would have started if you moved a bit like a cat, displayed catlike grooming habits or got a cat mask.
Not gonna lie, that car sounds cool.
I went to a car show once as a teen, and the only newer car there was some chick's PT cruiser. It was hot glittery pink, and at the time I was obsessed. I insisted that one day I would have a hot pink car, with pink seats, pink dash, pink carpets, etc. I was pretty heavily goth at the time, so my parents just rolled their eyes.
These phases can often lead to some very strange fashion choices.
That’s commitment.
When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those sh!tty sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally sh!tty chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out the door.
My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.
I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I'm wearing it because I refused to take it off.
One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.
Not everyone can be Eminem.
slim shady eminem GIFGiphyBaggy pants, being a rapper someday and being a professional skater.
When I was about 14 and Eminem was starting to blow up I bought myself a keyboard with a synthesizer. It cost like $200 which was all the money I had saved up. It finally came (this was way before amazon prime and such) and I tried rapping.
My sister told me "you're effing horrible" and I gave up right then and there.
This should be a sin.
I used to button the top buttons of polo shirts.
I must say, this is probably the worst one I've read.
Looking back at our regrettable choices, all we can do is cringe.
An optimistic look at bad tattoos.
check me out season 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphyBeing a tattooer. Regrettable because of those poor people who have my awful doodles on their bodies.
Take heart! My favorite tattoo is the one I drunkenly got my buddy to do in his living room one year during March Madness! It's dumb and frankly mediocre? But such a good story and has such good associations I smile every time I see it.
RIP Fredro’s.
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least two years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also two white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
Talk about cringey.
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
My weirdest phase was probably when I insisted on wearing knee-high rainbow socks to school every day. But honestly, I don't regret it. I rocked those socks, and I wish I still have a pair.
To all the people out there cringing over their past selves, remember that you were just a kid, and to be easy on yourselves. After all, we've all been there
Yet, too often, manufacturers who oversell their products fail to deliver what is promised and are inevitably left with angry customers who want their money back.
Whether the merchandise was defective or ridiculously overpriced, strangers online shared some of their worst purchases when Redditor BooksMcGee asked:
"What is the worst product you ever paid money for?"
Short Life Span
"This NERF gun that's supposed to shoot tennis balls for your dog. I bought it cause I thought you could load 3 at a time and shoot them far, but it's just one and it's super loud and the gun broke after like 4 shots (reading reviews later, this was a common issue)."
Lame Pets
"There were these toys called squiggles when I was a kid and the commercials made it seem like the toy was alive. It looked like you would get this crazy little fuzzy worms as pets that would follow you around an so sick tricks and listen to your every command. It was really just a piece of fluffy string tied to another piece of string with googly eyes on it. People may say that it was supposed to be a magic trick but they should also explain that to a 5 year old who really wanted a pet."
Card Value
"Not their fault, but I paid $70 for a Yugioh card hours before it was limited to one copy. Probably dropped to $20 by the end of the day."
These purchases were bad for your bum.
"A bicycle that literally fell apart before I made it out of the parking lot."
Not Worth Sitting On
"Joybird brand couch. Was so terrible, we returned it. Still hard to believe, we returned a freaking couch."
Going Nowhere Fast
"A 2000 VW Beetle (used)."
"Biggest piece of sh*t that literally had to have just about everything replaced before 100k miles and would still break down every time you left the driveway to the point where the tow-truck driver knew us on a first-name basis."
Expensive Lemon
"An Oldsmobile Achieva from one of those buy here pay here places. I should have known better, but I was young and thought I was getting a good deal. I had the thing for about 5 months, I drove it for maybe 3 weeks. The rest of the time it was either in the shop, or in my driveway waiting until pay day so I could afford to fix whatever broke on it this week. Eventually told the dealer just take it, I'm not paying for it any more. He said nope, and I will make sure your credit is ruined. I said well you sold me a lemon, do you really want to go this route? He came and took it. Never reported anything to credit. I heard he got sued by several other people who sold sh**ty cars too and eventually went out of business."
"Always amazes me when I see them driving around still, I can only assume there's enthusiasts who just love repairing horribly designed cars."
– zerbey
These Redditors were not convinced what they ingested was edible.
Bad Cereal
"A box of plain Cheerios. Thought they were honey nut, poured a bowl, was very disappointed."
"If I wanted to taste cardboard, I'd just eat the box."
– gor8884
Space Pizza
"A burnt frozen pizza at the air and space museum cafe in DC. I Don't wish that experience on anyone. There are some amazing restaurants in DC, don't settle."
– Alseids
The following electronics just gave off a bad charge.
"Asus Transformer Pad TF700"
"This was one of those early 'high end' Android tablets that was grossly underpowered, and it showed. Thing was slow as sh!t in no time flat. Rookie mistake investing into shiny new tech while they were still working all the bugs out. Think I paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-400 for it..."
– Luke5119
Bad Apple
"macbook pro 2018 13" touchbar. 2 years old and dead (battery). they're asking $300-$400 to change the battery. malfunctioning keyboard with double presses and missing presses. that's a lot of money for bad design."
Chilly Reception
"Past winter my old room heater broke down and I had to buy a new one. Went to a store nearby and somehow got convinced to buy a very costly heating device.. It's also my fault, since there were some sligthly cheaper options around, but nope. I wanted the expensive one thinking it will make my small room a volcano with little to no effort/cost (that's also what the seller told me). Long story short the device wasn't doing ANYTHING. No significant temperature changes, too much space, a weird noise, and was doubling my previous device in utility cost. I still gloom over those 80 euros.."
Some of my disappointing purchases was clothing, but only because I purchased them online. Unless they are a brand I'm familiar with, I'm usually fine with buying new jeans off of their websites.
But when it comes to graphic tees only available on specialty shops, an M-size shirt is not necessarily the same size as those found in other reputable stores.
I bought a medium sized T-shirt from a boutique store online because I loved the look of the design. But when it arrived, the supposed medium fit me like an XL.
At least I gained a fierce cleaning rag from this impulsive purchase.