Bad jobs are essential to growing as a person, right there next to your first heartbreak or having a teacher who won't listen to you. It happens to everyone so don't feel bad when you start working only to then realize this job is awful and you need to get the heck out. Everyone's limit may be different, but the reaction is the same:
Reddit user, u/TheStrangestOfKings, wanted to know what caused you to quit Day One when they asked:
Not Quite The Holy GroundGiphy
When I was 14 I got a job at one of the few fast food places in town that hired kids under 16. I went to orientation, where they explained the positions different age groups could fill.
My job would be to take people's orders out to their cars. I wasn't allowed to touch money or work the fryer. I showed up on the first [day] and was told my whole shift would be on the fryer.
I told them I was 14 and not allowed to, plus I hadn't been trained on it. The guy basically said tough sh-t and tried to hand me a hair net. I just left.
Companies, Let's Up Our Production Costs! Come On, Now!
This was about 15 years ago. I got hired to be a host at IHOP, and went in for my first day of training. It sucked so bad, I was so bored watching all their cheesy videos.
On a break, Panera called me and asked me for an interview, so I left and went there immediately. Worked there for 5 years.
Coffee Is Kind Of Breakfast Staple
I got hired as the "breakfast girl" at a historic hotel in my town. Now I don't know if this was due to management, or laziness, or what, it that kitchen where I was to prepare breakfast was REPULSIVE. Everything was old, they saved batter for pastries for WEEKS, eggs were damn near spoiled, and they kind of just threw me into it with no warning at all as to what they wanted from me. Didn't really even show me where the coffee was. I quit at the end of the first shift.
No Pay Is Worth No Training
Zaxby's when I was 18. F-ck that place.
It was my first job. I hadn't had any before because of my anxiety problems.
The first red flag was when they asked me to come in the same day I was interviewed. I worked a 6 hour shift, but only about an hour and a half of it was me being trained. I was only taught how to bread & fry chicken and make grilled cheeses.
Then they threw me in the dish pit for 4 and a half hours. No one really came back there to check on me. The dishes kept piling up faster than I could clean them, and it made me really anxious. I called and quit the next day. They even offered to up my pay but I said no, it wasn't for me.
This Sounds...Truly Awful.
I was 17. It was for a small restaurant in a central area of my city where there were a lot of tourists. I had to stand on a busy street handing out flyers and trying to convince people to come eat at the restaurant even at hours where literally nobody would want to go to a restaurant. We got paid like an extra 50 cents for each person that we brought, and in the entire day I only managed to get one group of 4 to come for lunch.
I got there at 8am, and sometime in the afternoon I was told that I could either leave at 4pm and earn a ridiculous sum, or stay until 8pm and earn a ridiculous sum plus a few extra euros. We're talking something like 5€ for 8 hours of working on my feet, in the summer heat, being either ignored or insulted by the people that I had to stop. I was shy as hell and going up to strangers like that was awful. Oh, and at one point the owner passed by in a motorcycle and yelled at me because "I wasn't working" (I was taking a minute to recover from the heat).
I left shortly after because I couldn't take it anymore, I was bored as hell and people were more annoyed than interested by me. I went home and called them to quit. I also googled the restaurant and found reviews complaining about the food and prices, all basically saying that it was a tourist scam. I kinda felt bad for the nice Spanish family that I had convinced to go and eat there.
Oh, and they didn't even pay me. I was told that I'd only get paid after working there for a week, and I had no intention of ever going back so I was like f-ck it, they can keep their small change.
Retrieving used formwork. Ten guys throwing 20kg pieces of nail-infested timber down from five floors up. My job was to dodge the falling bits of timber and avoid stepping on nails while I did it for ten hours a day.
No first aid guy on site, got a nail through each foot on my first day which I disinfected, bandaged and went back to work.
I was 18 and it was as a waitress for a fancy retirement home, where they made meals to order for the residents who all ate in a communal facility. Somehow we were responsible for knowing a person's dietary restrictions but there was no list of people with dietary restrictions as it's protected health info - we were just supposed to "figure it out." For example, if Grandma was allergic to peanuts, forgot and ordered a dish with peanuts, we were held responsible.
The men keep smacking my butt with their napkins and making inappropriate comments, which was fine with management because they were old/senile. My first shift was supposed to be covering breakfast/lunch (8 hrs) but because so many people quit mid-shift it became a mandated double. I lasted one day. Of the 15 people I trained with, only 1 made it 2 weeks.
Check The Eyes
Away at college, needed a job. Got hired on at a national pizza chain, with a table involved. Anyway, show up the first day and quickly notice every single person working there is tweaking. Everyone. No way I was going to deal with a bunch of tweakers, and quit after my first shift.
Manger asked why, and I told him because everyone here is tweaking. His response: How did you know?! Maybe it was the dialated eyes, the fact everyone here is sweating like it's 113 degrees out, yet I need a long sleeve shirt to stay warm?
Don't Want To Be Misled
As a teen, I applied for a standard teenage summer job picking berries on a farm. Thought id be with other people but turns out I was the only one hired and half of the first 12h day was also construction/helping the farm renovate their barn. Not worth it for minimum wage.
Got a job at a sawmill right out of high school. It was probably opened in the 40's - dangerous as hell. First day One of the guys that worked there was bragging about how good the owner was to work for, held up his 2 fingered hand, touched the two nubs one at a time and said "I got $500 each when that happened!"
About an hour in I went to my car under the auspices of grabbing my thermos. Left and never went back.
Kids See Through Your Lies Pretty Quickly
I mean, I don't like kids and I never plan on having any, but "how hard can be playing for 7 hours be?" I was a fool to think children were easy.
Yeah, no. I can't fake enthusiasm, or run around a table for 2 hours, or made a kid eat their lunch (which consists entirely of chocolate?), or stop a child from biting my ankle.
A Government Service That Was Ill-Maintained? You Don't Say...
I have two. The first was at a bpysenberry picking place where you got paid per container. $7 for 8I hours work.
Second was a place that tried to find employment for disabled people. If you were considered "unemployable " by their standards they would employ you in "sheltered employment" which was actually factory work. Some sold packaging to businesses, the area I was in refurbished headphones for a large airline for in flight entertainment.
This was all factory work and they had about 20-30 working on these headphones. They paid $50NZD (around 35USD) a week for 40 hours work. This worked out to be around $1.11/h. They also lied to the disabled people claiming that $40 a week was all they could have before it affected their benefit entitlement. This is a lie because you can earn up to $100 before tax. Then they take 30 cents to each dollar earned over that.
So yeah. Told then where to shove that. This service was also funded by the govt....
Seriously, Guys. Train Your New Employees! It's Not That Hard!
Cumberland Farms, a northeast convenience store/gas station chain. They trained me on everything but how to do anything having to do with lotto, and the manager kept leaving and said "you'll be fine." I was 17 and they left me alone in the store, only having started two hours before. I felt like I knew nothing, so of course you know what's next: every customer wants to buy lottery tickets. When I took my break, I got in my car and left.
Cotton Puff Joe
Being a weaver at an old textile mill, using old machines. My main function was to tie knots in the threads if they broke, and start the machine back up. I was too tall for the machine, and my back was killing me after one day. I wouldn't have stayed anyway. Too repetitive and mind-numbing. People were walking around with cotton puffs stuck in their hair.
...Nope. Got Nothing For This One.
A couple years ago I got hired at 1-800-GOT-JUNK, to be one of the truck loaders. The first training session I went to they explained for about 20 minutes, with an accompanying video, how to scrape dead rats off your boots after leaving the junkyard.
I quit at lunch time.
Maybe Not Day 1, But Not Long After.
I didn't but it was not uncommon at all to see new Amazon delivery drivers quit after 1-3 days. They picture it as driving and just sitting on their butt was my theory. Delivering 250 packages to 180 stops is hard work. Loading the van + walking some stupid a-- driveways/stairs with heavy packages + traffic can be overwhelming.
Don't Leave Until After The Shift Meal
it was a "brew house": code for independently owned applebee's with more beer options, usually local. the cooks smoked on the line, trash was thrown on the floor ankle-deep until the end of the night, the "confetti" in the ceiling light covers were bugs, the ceiling tiles were brown from having never been cleaned, the floor even with non-slip shoes felt like I was walking on ice from the oil and whatever else, the chimney of the fryer caught on fire and I was told that happened every 2-3 days.
I worked 4 hours, got my shift meal, told them I couldn't do it because I didn't want to be there the day they got a less lenient health inspector.
Do Your Own Research
I applied for a call center in my local area, interview went well, hired on the spot and introduced to coworkers (small rented space, less than 20 employees). Was left by manager to chat with future coworkers while I waited for my mom to pick me up (I was still 17 at the time, 3 months shy of 18) when one coworker let's slip some mumble about how he hopes "this young girl doesn't leave like the rest."
I couldn't get the guys words out of my head so when I got home I did some more research on this business and found out they've been hiring for months and constantly losing people, but primarily hiring females who then left the company pretty quickly after. Found a forum of such employees talking about being sexually harassed while working there, how they never got paid what they were promised, etc. Just really shady things, but immediately after learning about the sexual harrasment claims I called and said I would not be taking the position after all. They didn't even ask for a reason.
Worked at a recycling plant for medical supplies. My job was to get inside the compressing machines and clean them. The machines were filled with blood needles.
It was absolutely disgusting.
Plus the place was infested with rats.
...Yeah, You Need To Go.Giphy
I was working at a restaurant.
- A co-worker told me the boss asked him if he would sell him his passport.
- Different co-worker said the boss asked him to be a guarantor in a totally blank passport application.
- Some customers came up to me to say they overheard some men on the patio talking about trafficking people. Like, in the way that they were discussing plans to do it. Unbeknownst to them, one of these men was the owner.
Owner was from Albania by the way. Not trying to generalize but they are known to be a one of the Human Trafficking hotspots.
I quit that day and called the RCMP. (Sort of like Canada's FBI)
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
One second. One moment. One decision.
They can change... everything.
Change happens with and without notice. Life happens instantly, so we have to learn to keep up.
These are all lessons we learn too late. We need more wisdom when we're younger.
We can make our lives better from the smallest decisions without knowing. But, let's start knowing.
Life will be the better for it.
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560Giphy
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynoldsGiphy
I'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
"Drinking water first thing in the morning and through the day." ~ FuriousBebochoGiphy
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
For the Zzzzzsss....
"A good bed. Game changer." ~ DividebynegativezeroGiphy
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.