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People Confess Which Life Lessons They Learned The Hard Way

People Confess Which Life Lessons They Learned The Hard Way
Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

Humans are not always hard-wired to accept the lessons they can learn softly. Humans may need to have a seriously difficult learning experience to recognize a life lesson.

We call this learning the "hard way."

Whereas if you'd just listened to someone's advice beforehand, you may have avoided making this mistake—but on the other hand, the issue being dealt with would certainly not leave as great an impression upon you.


Redditor TheNewSuspect asked:

"What life lesson did you learn the hard way?"

Here were some of those answers.



Don't Force Them To Stay

"If someone doesn't want to stay in your life, they're not going to stay in your life. Whether you want them in your life or not."-i-will-be-dead

"And doesn't matter if you try and change or 'prove' yourself in way(s) to keep that other person in your life. Some people are going to do what they want to do regardless."-vroelens

What Is Credit?

"Always think of a credit card as spending money. Never think of it as 'I'll worry about it later.'"

"I've always paid off every one of my credit card bills. I had a friend who paid off just the bare minimum each month for years."

"I had a coworker who would withdraw money against his credit card to pay off his other credit card. Then he got a third credit card to pay off the second. Then he had 3 maxed credit cards and was freaking out."-G8kpr

With The Taste Of My Lips

"It took a long time reflecting on where my friendship went sour, but in the end, there were negative feelings all over the place."

"We'd hang out and just end up arguing or fighting over something small. Went on for years, I told myself that they're toxic for me, but that it was still possible that I was toxic for them."

"Then a realization hit, it didn't matter who was toxic to whom, you're both unhappy, it's time to step away for both parties sanity. It was hard, but I wish them well, I just don't ever want to be put in emotional sinkhole anymore"-Youve_been_Loganated

It seems like you wish you could take back this mistake that made you learn, but then, you wouldn't be who you are now without it.

Passion Or Lash-On

"Being smart doesn't make up for work ethic - the real world isn't anything like school (primary or higher ed)."

"Not everyone has a dream job. Some people, maybe even most, do jobs they tolerate so they can enjoy themselves outside of work."

"I think society talks too much about your job being your passion, or doing something you really love - work is work, we do it because we have to."-BumblingUnicorn

Turning Saints Into The Sea

"I was jealous. But I didn't want to be 'that guy.' You know, the one who was too suspicious of his girlfriend because she was outgoing and had a lot of friends, some male."

"I held back and never said anything when she was out late with friends. I didn't want to be 'that guy.' Welp, she got pregnant. I sure thought it was mine. I was in the delivery room with her and paid for everything."

"I asked her to marry me but she said no because she didn't want to marry until things were 'back to normal.' As time went by I was sure I was the Dad, until the baby was over two years old."

"Even though I paid for almost all the baby's things and kept her most of the time at my house, my girlfriend filed for medical assistance. She didn't know they would do a DNA test to see if I was the real father."

"They did, and I wasn't. She never even tried to deny it after that. It was a huge blow to me and my family. I was right all the time about not trusting her. It wasn't me being unreasonable, it was reality and I ignored it."

"It got worse after that because I left her life and she just told everyone I didn't want to see the baby anymore. Everybody thought I was the scum of the earth."

"It ended good for me though. I met the love of my life just a few months later, we moved out of state and we've been VERY happily married over 10 years."-paulvs88

Flag! Flag! Flag!

"-Don't dismiss the red flags in a relationship, you will regret it later on. Not everyone can be helped or 'saved;' it's not your job to heal every single person, and you can't let that tear you apart."

"-If a person does not communicate with you or put any effort into the relationship, they don't care about you and you deserve better. You will KNOW when someone truly cares for you."

"-If you're not into someone, be honest and tell them!! Otherwise they will keep on bugging you! I guess most of life's greatest lessons are learned the hard way."-Lulu18_H

It's Been Me All Along

"That I thought everyone were a**hole idiots because I was in fact an a**hole idiot and viewed the world through the lens of my own anger and toxicity. I was the toxic one."

"By now all the apologies have been made, some relationships restored, and some relationships solidified by my changes, some relationships ended permanently, and I respect their choice to end communication with me."

"All I can do now is take my meds, not drink or do drugs, and be honest about how I'm feeling with those close to me so they know what to expect. It took me a very long time to forgive myself. It took me a decade and a half to learn how to do that."-Gonergonegone

And when it comes to these lessons—better late than never, right?

Here's Lookin' At You, Kid

"Don't worry about what random people think, only about the people important to your lives a.k.a friends and family. If they are real friends and family they will support you and tell when you're being a real dick."

"The dude on the street why care I mean who is he to you? Do you know him? No. So why concern yourself with what he might think, he probably doesn't care or notice."-tottallynotmike

The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

The world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...

Ah, Unrequited Affection

"Never try to be friends with someone you are in unrequited love with. Better to move on with your life and let them with theirs than pine everytime they have a new hookup, partner, are doing something you wish you were doing with them."

"There is also another similar that suggests never trying to be friends with someone when you both desire each other mentally and physically but, for whatever reason, can't act upon those feelings."

"This is something I have tried a few times over the years and my considered opinion is that it is possible if they live 11,000 miles away, a lot harder if within walking distance and therefore not having them in your life is possibly the safest answer for you both."-Eckieflump

Are You An Over Sharer?

"That there are some things that we probably should keep to ourselves. At least in my case, I tend to overshare when I'm too excited, sad, or angry."

"On many occasions I overexaggerated and ended up either making a fool of myself or taking very dramatic and definitive choices that I would later regret."

"It's good to express yourself freely, but sometimes it's good to just take a breath and not act impulsively."-paloxox666

Just Being You

"There will always be someone worse off than you and someone better off than you."

"You are not special. You're just you. Trying to act special and compete with others is a hole you will never reach the bottom of."-Rubricae98

Open Minded Is The Key To Innovation

"Be OPEN-MINDED to ideas, even if you don't like them at first glance. Right and wrong are sometimes very relative, if you're close-minded you'll miss A LOT of wonderful, life changing experience."

"Or you even risk making horrible decisions that you will regret. Being open-minded will also help you learn unimaginable truths sometimes."-Happier12345

To Be A Relationship Guy

"How to be a husband and partner. I genuinely didn't feel I needed to change at all. I though, 'she picked me so I'll just keep being me.'"

"What I needed to do was become a bit more like my wife (hardworking and neat) and constantly remind myself that she needs to get measurable value out of the relationship (tasks completed, work done. not just fun, laughs and sex)."

"I'm still working on this but it should have taken so many years to learn this."-daveescaped

Too Hungry For Life To Pass

"Learned that marrying at early twenties was not the best idea. Missed traveling, expanding the network of people, learning new stuff, finding myself."

"I learned that at that age, despite 'being sure that I knew it all', I did in fact knew nothing. The best was yet to come later in life."

"That is 'my' lesson. Do not get triggered, challenged and in need to justify your personal circumstance. 👍"-redditoruser3021

No Good Deed Will I Do Again

"Not everyone wants your help. A bit of backstory me and my boyfriend ended up breaking up over a fight I had had with his parents who were very very poor and for some reason decided to have a litter of puppies."

"They could barely afford to feed their dogs that they had but for some reason decided to have these puppies instead of getting the girl dog fixed."

"His dad however took it like I had basically called them poor and I was being a snob and went on this 20 minute ran about how I didn't know what I was talking about and what not when wanted to get the puppies there shots."

"I had the right connections and it would have been completely free for them but but he was not interested in my help and his wife nor my boyfriend or his brother didn't have enough of a spine to back me up even though his mom was the one that originally asked for help with the puppies."-twomanycats1

If you are able to--the time to take stock of these lessons is now, after reading this article, than when you're in a tough situation and have to start making choices.

Hopefully these folks' mistakes can help you avoid making a mistake in the future.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.