No one knows what you're going through like you. With 2020 showing no sign of slowing down on literally anything, self-care is more important than ever. If you feel like you're experiencing mentally tough times then it's important to address it, talk to someone you trust, then begin to take actions to fix it. A bad day can lead to a bad week and we've already had enough bad weeks.
Reddit user, u/Koestter, wanted to hear about:
What do you do to cheer yourself when you're sad or upset?
Changing Your Environment
camping the simpsons GIF
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Being outside. Doesn't matter why, or how long. A few minutes outside is usually a good thing for me. Enjoying the nice weather, the view, how busy or quiet the area is. It's the little things.
Something Low Stakes To Remove The Higher
I like to just find a puzzle of some kind and try to solve it.
I guess for other, this means doing something low stakes without lots of time or efforts required that genuinely gives you a little momentary sense of sh-t I'm an actually half intelligent human who can actually accomplish something...
...People have different things that make them happy.
I will say try to avoid eating high sugar items or buying extremely expensive things wen feeling down because it leads to a sugar crash or a credit score crash.
Scream It Out
My coping mechanisms are sh-t, so I asked my 4 year old niece. She said you scream the sad out, then sat on the floor and shouted "AHHHH!" Then smiled and went about her day.
Scream the sad out.
against_underscoresOnly You Knows You
I wrote a letter to my future self when I was at a happy point in my life to read when I'm sad. You're obviously the only one who knows what you're going through, so it's nice to get advice from the happy version of yourself.
All Together Now: Let's Put A Smile On That Face
Some motherf-cker said you can literally smile and trick your brain into being happier. I hate how it actually works sometimes.
Sometimes depression can literally hinder your body's ability to produce chemicals that allow you to feel joy. Fake smiling can help your body to begin producing those again and pave the way for you to feel joy in the true sense in the future. It's a very helpful tool.
A Pleasant Day Digital Farming And Baking
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Stardew Valley with Great British Bake Off on in the background
I was just mentioning that GBBO makes me happy! Pretty scenery, baking, I love the hosts, and I love how the contestants always have each other's backs.
Do A Different Kind Of Reading
I read a book, that always takes my mind off things: way better for your mental health than social media
Seriously though. Just cut off the toxic social media for some weeks. Just browse through Reddit. You'll feel much better.
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
Yelling micheal jackson sounds. You gotta try it. It really helps
HEEEE HEEEE
Redirect Your Attention Elsewhere
I exercise. That makes me so much more miserable that my previous state of misery appears cheerful
lmao thats genius. its like the old joke where you can make yourself stop thinking about how much one part of your body hurts by making another part hurt more
Do All My Friends Hate Me Or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?
If I can, I take a nap or just go to sleep for the night. My dr told me an analogy for mental health that I always find helpful.
Mental health is like a table. The more legs you have under the table (good sleep hygiene, nutritious diet, exercise, social contact, therapy etc...) the more stable the table is. It's rarely one thing but we can do a lot of little things throughout the day that can cumulatively make a difference.
I have a toddler so I'm always exhausted and sleep deprived so that's usually the table leg I'm missing, so any rest helps.
Don't Run From It
Season 3 Hug GIF by The Simpsons
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Cry.
Identify my emotions. Is it angerr? Disappointment? Despair?
Accept them. Allow myself to feel them.
Figure out why I felt them and soon they just go away.
I find that distractions or suppressing them only makes them fester and get worse or come out in the form of anger and end up hurting someone else.
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Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swiped
dean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
Sicko!
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
Bye Girl
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
- Letharos
Take it All!
skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boy
bicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
Dangerous Woman
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
- orstius
Be Gone
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
The "Actor"!
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
Money Blues
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop Off
Tom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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