There are two groups of people in this world.
Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.
People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.
If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad Ideas
Tom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
Keone_710
You First
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
JAHNOOSKA
Craiglist People
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
BeebMommy
"forbade"
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
DivorcingGuy1234
The Worst
maury GIFGiphy"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Secret_Guarantee_277
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A Mess
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
Top-Pin-3520
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
UmbraofDeath
Rear View
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
RecoverSexAddict
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
Ok_Adhesiveness_4321
Worthless
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
BBQSpareRibMoon
Bad Connections
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
WeCanWeWi11
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor cheerfulspinach wanted to discuss the truth about being cleansed... so they asked:
"What is something people think is a 'healthy option' but actually isn't?"
We all need to research more to define 'healthy.'"
Sneaky, sneaky...
Hold On Waiting GIF by Nature ValleyGiphy"Sugar sneaks it's way into all sorts of 'healthy' foods. Make sure to check the nutrition facts if you are watching for it. I'm looking at you, granola."
cottonfist
Cleanse Crap
"Those stupid juicing detox programs... your body's liver and kidney's naturally detox your body so long as you drink plenty of water. This whole notion that you are detoxing your body with juice is a*inine."
fihiv13853
"The financial director of the WORST place I've ever worked decided to go onto a juice detox. Each tiny bottle was like £5 (this is back in 2016) and his diet was literally 5 of those bottles a day."
"However during work he would get agitated and lacking energy so he'd 'top up' with haribo throughout the day to make sure he didn't collapse. Very freaking healthy."
luv2belis
75 pounds in a year...
"I had a friend in college who believed sub sandwiches were healthy. Like... not specific ones. The Subway health based commercials made her think that anything served in sub form was healthy. She was eating footlong white bread covered in cheese with double bacon and ham sandwiches with extra cheese, extra mayo, extra oil or ranch and whatever else she wanted on them or chicken bacon ranch subs with double cheese and double bacon. Devouring them 2-3 times a day to lose weight."
"She hadn't told anyone she was trying to lose weight but after she gained 75 pounds in a year, some of her friends started asking why she ate so many unhealthy sandwiches every day. Her mind was blown when we told her that sub sandwiches aren't magically healthy just because of the form factor."
SadLaser
Bad Rep
"Smoothies from smoothie shops They use sorbets, ice creams, and juices with an insane amount of sugar in them. My sister worked at a smoothie shop, and people would always come in after going to the gym. It’s not what most people think it is."
wekig10581
"Depends on the smoothie but yes most of those mainstream chains are like that."
iast68
Options
"'Low-fat' or 'fat-free' options. These products often have added sugars and other unhealthy additives to compensate for the lack of fat. In some cases, these options may actually be worse for you than the full-fat versions."
Appropriate-Land9451
"And not to mention they STILL taste worse than the full fat versions. Lowfat yogurt is the bane of my existence."
fallout_koi
Low does not mean no.
Smell the flowers...
"Vaginal washes on a daily basis so it smells like lavender instead of what vaginas are supposed to smell like. It's unnecessary and changes your pH down there and pre disposes you to infections."
fihiv13853
Take a Brake
"I think a lot of Millennials and Gen Zers are beginning to catch on to how bad it can potentially be, but I think dedicating your life just to work is really unhealthy. I mean fair enough if you have a job you really enjoy, but even so if you dedicate almost every waking moment to your job there's a problem generally. Its not a great attitude, live to work."
sopica8678
Buying into the system...
"Toxic positivity. The people who tell you that you need to love yourself regardless of whatever debilitating disability or mental condition you have that makes doing so near impossible Or the people who, whenever you try to reach out, immediately try to downplay your problems (you don’t hate your body, society just MAKES you buy more products/your not depressed, society sucks)."
"People who try to take what you say about yourself and twist it beyond recognition into some pseudo-'woke‘ actually society is the problem’ bulls**t and passively blame you for not waking up farting rainbows because actually everything you’ve ever disliked about yourself was created by 3 white dudes 200 years ago therefore making any doubt you have just ‘buying into the system.'"
LavaRoseKinnie
Muffins
"Honestly, a lot of whether or not something is healthy or unhealthy (especially in the context of weight loss) depends on the specific person."
"For example, I have to avoid eating nuts as a snack because they're extremely calorie dense while not being at all filling to me and hence I can overeat them really easily without thinking about them without any benefits of affecting my hunger level."
"But for someone who doesn't have my issue with snacking foods, a handful of nuts as a snack would absolutely be a great part of a balanced diet."
"On a more general level though, muffins. Most muffins you can buy are basically cupcakes but people treat muffins like a diet food."
badgersprite
Be Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"Not getting angry. Holding in your negative emotions not only increases your cortisol stress levels, it also prevents you from opening up about the things that are holding you back."
"If you learn how to talk things out and express frustration before things boil over, you just might find that your relationships are more honest and fulfilling."
GoddessLeVianFoxx
Being healthy is all a state of mind.
Anything you'd like to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Isingsongstomycats wanted to hear about what can completely make us regret speaking to another person, so they asked:
"What instantly ruins a conversation for you?"
I'm ornery. Anything and everything can turn me off.
Blocked
honey boo boo phone GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Getting their phone out for no reason mid conversation."
Expensive_Pie_6943
"Sometimes I want to look up something pertinent to the conversation but I don't want to interrupt them to say that. Now when someone checks their notification mid conversation, that really burns me."
cutelyaware
Up & Up
"When someone feels the need to one up you on everything you say."
Apprehensive_Gap_368
"Had a coworker like this once, his one upping was so bad we would test it. Best one was a guy talking about catching a shark on a pole at the beach. He interrupted with the time he swam out a mile and got attacked by a shark and beat it and swam back with it."
Mess_Bubbly
Rude
"When they start saying nasty things about people they barely know."
WeirdShyKitten
"I have family like this. I once heard them go on on this rant about how the new waitress at their local coffee shop is fat and ugly. They made a thousands assumptions about this woman that included criticism to her service."
18062022
"Or start sh*t talking someone the second they leave the room. My dad's sisters do that, I was stuck in my parents house alone with them and I would get so paranoid every time I left the room. If they do that to each other, I can’t image the crap they talk about me."
vicki_chicki
War of Words
"When they ask for your opinion or talking about something fully subjective and then tell you how you are objectively wrong or get offended by you nor agreeing."
Prize_Interaction931
"Similar, but not quite the same: my old roommate would correct me on things that were objective, and not like facts."
"Like I mentioned it was hard for my folks to get a mortgage because they were self employed and he correct me that it wasn't. He wouldn't believe the story i was telling and told me what he thought might have happened with no knowledge on the subject."
"Needless to say I moved out."
SFXBTPD
Blah Blah
Bored Chris Rock GIF by BounceGiphy"When it feels like you're engaging a combination lock just to get responses to simple innocent pieces of a conversation. People who small talk you to death."
I swear small talk people should be arrested for attempted murder.
Useless
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"When someone drags a story out with useless details. Like something that happened on the drive to work but they start the story at the point when they first woke up and what they had for breakfast. Just get to the point!"
ticklemebits
Paused
"When they interrupt me mid sentence."
HelpMeSweetJesus
"If it sometimes happens on accident whenever they think of something and get over-excited it’s whatevs. Now when they constantly step over you it’s like your opinion merely feels like filler at best and they ain’t even listening. Not even worth the energy to continue at that point."
BAKED_TATER_
"One of my coworkers only listens long enough to figure out what she's going to say next, and then she interrupts. I guess we're only there to feed her lines."
Witty_Commentator
Do Better
"When someone gives you completely useless advice you didn't ask for. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to a coworker that I was glad to be going home because I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep."
"Dude first of all had the audacity to say 'Well, you need to do better.' When I said I have medication resistant insomnia he looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks if I've tried melatonin."
errant_night
Duh
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them, does it. Take you about eight seconds. You’ll be listening to some guy, and say, this guy is f**king stupid. Then, then there are some people, they’re not stupid. They’re full of crap."
"Huh, that doesn’t take very long to spot, either, does it. Take you about the same amount of time. You’ll be listening to some guy, saying, well, he’s fairly intelligent. Ah, he’s full of s**t. Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of s**t, they’re freaking nuts."
teaching-man
Gross...
Disgusted Emma Stone GIFGiphy"Sexualization. We're talking about a new video game and suddenly I get asked if I play naked, or if I'm turned on by a game mechanic or some such nonsense. Yuck."
GreenAppleLady
Good conversation is hard to keep these days.
Do you have any conversational red flags to add? Let us know in the comments below.