There are two groups of people in this world.
Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.
People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.
If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad Ideas
Tom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
Keone_710
You First
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
JAHNOOSKA
Craiglist People
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
BeebMommy
"forbade"
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
DivorcingGuy1234
The Worst
maury GIFGiphy"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Secret_Guarantee_277
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A Mess
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
Top-Pin-3520
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
UmbraofDeath
Rear View
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
RecoverSexAddict
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
Ok_Adhesiveness_4321
Worthless
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
BBQSpareRibMoon
Bad Connections
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
WeCanWeWi11
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
Walter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
Episode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
Get Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
the exorcist shadow GIFGiphy"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
Art Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
Be Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.