The Real Reasons People Cheated On Their Partner
There are two groups of people in this world.
Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.
People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.
If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad IdeasTom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy
"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
The Worstmaury GIFGiphy
"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A MessSteve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy
"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
WorthlessWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
- People Who Remarried Their Ex Explain How They Got Back Together ›
- People Who Have Been A 'Homewrecker' Break Down How It Impacted Their Relationships ›
- People Who Were Wrongly Accused Of Cheating On Their Significant Other Share Their Stories ›
People Explain How They'd Respond If Their Partner Asked For An Open Relationship
Many couples who've been together for many years will often look for a way to "spice up" their relationship.
Worried that their relationship has or is getting stale, they look for ways to reignite the flame that lit the fire when they first met.
One idea which is becoming more and more common among couples is to open their relationship up.
Allowing each other to see and have fun with other people, while remaining committed to one another.
For some, this proves just the ticket, as it opens up communication between the two of them, while also letting them meet new people and explore areas they hadn't with their partner.
For others, however, the very notion is a firm no, and the suggestion might even put their relationship in worse jeopardy than it was already in.
Redditor SuchShopping3828 was curious to hear how people would react if their spouses or significant others suggested opening their relationship, leading them to ask:
"Guys & girls, what would be your response if your partner propose open relationship?"
That Ship Has Sailed...
“'Why would you wait a quarter century to suggest this?''
"'Nobody else wants to sleep with us now'."
''Stop it'.”- AtLaw
Did You Have Someone In mind?
"Ask them who they want to f*ck."
"Unfortunately, this has happened to me before."
"Should have ended it there, but I dragged it out a bit longer."- Bobisburnsred
The Door Is That Way
"You are open to leave."- brianmmf
"Goodbye."- DeadFyreBye Bye Goodbye GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphy
Those Vows Were Not Made In Vain
"My wife has a lot of medical issues, and at one point sex wasn't really an option."
"She told me that I could have an open relationship on my end if I wanted."
"My response was an immediate no."
"I'm married to her."
"I love her."
"There isn't anyone else in this world I'd rather be with than her, and that I would wait as long as she needed or indefinitely if that was the case."
"I am with her, not her vagina."- WardedDruid
Why? Just... Why?
Not For Us
"I once asked what my spouse thought of 'open marriages'."
"Yeah... neither of us like that idea."
"It's just not my idea of a good relationship at all."
"I am a one woman guy and always will be."
"If they would like any other man, or men than they can have them, just count me out of it."
"I couldn't ever fathom that."- My_Space_pageSeason 9 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy
“'Aiiight, imma head out'.”- SunburntGemz
Close, But No Cigar
"I suggested it to my Partner a while back."
"He has a very high sex drive, the medication I need to be on has lowered mine considerably."
"I wanted him to not resent me because I just didn't want sex very much anymore."
"We very much thought about it, even to the point of making up rules and setting standards."
"In the end he came to me and said he didn't want to do it."- bambiisher
That's A Dealbreaker...
"That would be the end of it for me."
"I can totally respect that being how someone wants to live their life, but that isn’t for me."- TapReasonable267830 Rock Dealbreaker GIFGiphy
"Weren’t we already in one?"- St_Vincent-Adultman
Is It Me?
"Probably break it off."
"I understand that monogamy isn't for everyone and I'm not gonna force it on anyone, but personally I'm not interested in an open marriage, and if my husband wanted one, the marriage might be too far gone."
"Even if he's okay staying monogamous, I may spend the rest of the marriage stressing over whether I'm enough, and wondering if he's getting what he wants behind my back."
"If his needs aren't being met, I'd want to have that conversation long before it gets to the point where an open marriage even crosses his mind."- VisualCelery
"I would terminate our relationship, whether it's breaking up or divorce."
"Saves the both of us a whole lot of heartache and drama."- tadadesaeHigh School Love GIFGiphy
Been There, Done That.
"Tried it once."
"Destroyed the relationship."
"Automatic no from me from now on."- aregularguy92
"My daughters dad tried this and then proceeded to give me an ultimatum."
"I was about 10 months post partum and my libido hadn't really recovered yet, not to mention I was at the PEAK of my PPD."
"It wasn't a totally dead bedroom but not nearly as often as we used to."
"He kept asking me for a threesome which was great timing considering my self-esteem was already at an all-time low."
"So naturally I refused and told him to never ask me again."
"He then said he either needs an open relationship to satisfy his needs or he wanted to break up."
"Soooo I told him he's not getting my permission to cheat on me and we're done."
"We still lived together for a few months for financial reasons but from that point on we were roommates and coparents."
"He STILL gives surprised pikachu face at the fact I'm cold to him."- Ok_Shame_8377
Some people can compartmentalize love, commitment, and sex, allowing them the ability to make open relationships work.
For others, it's a packaged deal, and the only thing that should be open in their relationship is their feelings.
People Break Down The Most NSFW Thing They've Ever Done That They Don't Regret
Some of us just love the more scandalous moments in life.
They can be too far and few in between.
But when they come around, they always provide a good story.
Who doesn't love great mic drop action?
There is such freedom in embracing the... "I did that. And what?!" mentality.
Try it sometime. Within reason, of course.
Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Let's ChatPay Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home DepotHeart Love GIF by Lowe's Home ImprovementGiphy
"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
Plus 2Ariana Grande Singing GIF by The VoiceGiphy
"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Creepiest Thing They've Ever Experienced That Chilled Them To The Bone
The older you get you realize... there are things that go bump in the night.
There can be danger around every corner.
And yes... somebody may actually be in the closet.
So being constantly creeped out is a norm.
Redditor unripenedboyparts wanted to hear about the horrors we've all been witness to, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest thing you’ve seen in the woods, or in the mountains, or in deserts, or caves, or in small towns, or in big cities, or in hotels, or in remote or rural areas, or while asleep, or home alone, or while on large bodies of water, or while on an aircraft or a nautical vessel?"
I don't camp.
I don't hike.
I don't do wilderness.
And this is why...
TexturesLife Smash GIFGiphy
"Coming out of anesthesia from open heart surgery, every time I closed my eyes I could see a perfectly formed brick wall inches from my face. I could see the texture of the bricks through the paint, the mortar, all in perfect detail. Every time I changed rooms, the wall would change colors."
"I was up north. Far North British Columbia, Canada working in a (oil) rig camp out in the woods. I was working as a cook, I went out one afternoon for a smoke on the back deck. It was about 2 o'clock n the afternoon. It was a very quiet, still winter day. It was snowing those kind of big snowflakes that make it look like the world is moving in slow motion."
"So as I was standing there smoking, just staring off in the distance not looking at anything particular... you know looking left right, up down at my feet whatever. I felt something looking at me. Then I looked straight ahead. About 30 feet or less in front of me was the tree line of the forest, and directly in front of me in-between two trees I see the most gigantic wolf I have ever seen."
"This thing sitting looked like it was the size of a man standing. It was massive, sitting there and just staring right at me. We locked eyes, then I looked away for a split second and then looked back and it was gone. I don't know, it just gave me the weirdest feeling. It was definitely like, "hey.. I see you, I could eat you... butttt I won't, k byeee"
"Something I'll always remember."
It’s absolutely unnerving...
"I live in a really remote part of Alaska. I think the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered is how silent the woods/tundra can be in the dead of winter. I’m talking like 'I feel like I am about to go insane' quiet. It’s absolutely unnerving. I become hyper aware of my heart beat and my breathing sounds like a f**king airplane taking off."
"And I know a lot of people will say 'it’s because a predator was near by' nah man, some places up here just have nothing. That’s what really freaks me out. I am absolutely alone in this one spot. I could drop dead and no one would ever find my body."
"I rounded a corner in a trail in the Appalachian Mountains and came face to face with a sow black bear and her cub. Same situation, we locked eyes, she seemed to convey - look dude, I can un alive you in a second, but I’m not about it today so just be patient while I dig these bugs outta this hillside. I sat and watched this bear and cub for prob 20 mins at a safe-ish distance."
Who Are You??Video Games Gamer GIF by Call of DutyGiphy
"There must be wilderness dwelling gamers out there, because I found a pile of xbox games in the mountains. Like two dozen in a pile in a remote location."
Those gamers are sneaky.
It FliesDavid Choe Love GIFGiphy
"Hallucinated a flying whale alongside the night time flight from Alberta to Ontario when I was 12. It was snow white, seemed friendly enough. Roughly the size of a blue whale."
Onto the Rocks
"It happened when me and my parents were on vacation to some place near Spain when I was still little. We went to a little beach at some coastal town where I then immediately jumped into the sea with my swimming goggles on. I then crawled on to some rocks and walked around until I noticed a crab sitting on the rocks."
"I then traversed them carefully while trying to catch it, but it kept crawling away. This continued until I then followed it to a point where the little bay I was in ended and the open ocean began. So then little me decided that it was a good idea to jump into the open water to see if there was anything cool down there. I then jumped in, and I was immediately hit with the cold temperature of actual ocean water."
"But the worst part was that even with my goggles on, I couldn't see anything down there. I was met with a giant black void. No fish, no plants, no rocks. Nothing. I then immediately turned around and began swimming back as quick as I could. And since that moment I haven't gone beyond the shallows ever again."
"This was almost a decade ago; I live in a town outside of Phoenix, AZ. It was late in the afternoon as the sun was starting to set. I went out in the backyard to smoke a cigarette and play fetch with my dog. As I was throwing the ball I noticed a small orb shoot from the ground directly into the sky."
"A few seconds later another one followed, and another, and another, and another. It didn’t stop for a few minutes. At first I thought it was a Roman candle but I just couldn’t hear but you’d normally hear them fizzing as the fly. I couldn’t hear anything. It was dead silent. To this day, I still don’t know what those were."
"When I was a kid in the early 80's my parents had a house they rented out to people. We were cleaning it out after a set of unsatisfactory tenants and I was going through the kitchen cupboards making sure they were empty. I saw a mason jar tucked way back in the corner of one of the top shelves so I hopped up on the counter, stretched my arm, grabbed it and hopped back down. When I looked at the jar I saw a finger floating in a clear liquid. I set it down on the counter, walked out of the kitchen and called, 'Mom, I found a finger!'"
Jigglesearthquake GIF by James CurranGiphy
"I was on a fishing boat just off the Pacific coast and there was an earthquake. The water jiggled a bit as we heard a boom and a quick shake. Only time I was on water during an earthquake."
This is why I don't fish. Not even on dry land.
Do you have any bizarre experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Worst Mistakes Someone Can Make In Their 20s
Once people graduate from high school, a lot of them know what they want to do career-wise, but they may not totally know where they want to go or who they want to be.
And while the twenties are the time to figure that out, there are some ways that people can really mess up their future if they aren't careful about how they spend their time.
Redditor KadduUltimate asked:
"What is the worst mistake one can make in their 20s?"
Know Your Worth
"28-year-old here. Best advice. Learn to actually enjoy your surroundings."
"But the absolute best advice I can give. You're an adult now. You are allowed to make boundaries and stick to them. Unhappy with something? Leave or fix it. I gave up way too much time feeding into useless issues."
"Oh, and smile more. People seem to like people that smile."
Think Through Parenthood First
"Having a kid."
"As someone who didn't have kids, and watching my peers growing up and the lives they lead and how hard they have it... wait forever. It's bliss. Plenty of money left over for savings, retirement, and vacations."
Learn How to Invest
"Not the worst mistake, but if you haven’t yet, open a ROTH IRA and start contributing… compound interest is a thing."
"Spend time with your parents while they and you are young! Don’t get so caught up in doing absolutely everything all the time that you forget the people who got you to that point. They, too, are racing time."
Watch Out for College Debt
"Do not incur a mortgage-size debt in college tuition."
"You might be forced to continue taking classes to keep from starting the payment clock., while you also incur more debt. Also, you can't use bankruptcy to remove it."
"Instead, learn a trade: bring trade schools back. learn more about who you are and what you are interested in before taking on another lifetime commitment thing the boomers screwed up for us because 'screw you, they got theirs.'"
Watch Out for ANY Debt
"Credit card debt. Took us forever to get everything square after many dumb decisions and opening of multiple cards in our twenties."
Expensive Items Don't Bring Happiness
"Signing a commitment for a high-priced place to live or car."
"Too many young kids believe they deserved fancy and nice, especially to impress others, and they end up scraping for dollars because of it."
Giving In to Societal Pressure
"Thinking they have to start their whole life and career and be a homeowning family by 30... or be viewed as lazy, or my personal favorite, as 'wasting their potential.'"
Love Doesn't Have to Be Rushed
"You and your partner are going to change so much between age 20 and age 40, neither of you will be the same people, and divorce is almost guaranteed."
"Wait until you're done with school and/or established in your careers."
"Brush your teeth guys! And floss! The money needed to fix teeth is staggering in most places. Not even just the US!"
"Brush and floss twice a day! You'll be so thankful you did!"
"Going to jail. Don't break the law, kids."
Life Continues After Your 20s
"Thinking you’re supposed to peak in your 20s creatively, emotionally, sexually, and professionally."
"My 30s were when I learned that my 20s didn’t define me. My 40s have been f**king incredible. Hang in there."
"Actively neglected my health in my 20s to maintain employment. Now my knees and elbows crack very loudly and it hurts when they do."
"Also, not all wounds are visible. I thought I was perfectly fine when I was 22. I thought everything was temporary. Holy f**k was I wrong."
Don't Forget 'Back to the Future' and 'The Terminator'
"If you're a kid, the time cops will let you off with a warning, but as soon as you're older, any fluctuation in the continuum gets you 8 cycles in the penumbra."
"In your 20s, you're just not going to have the intuition to avoid causing ripples. Just wait until you're 30 and your chrono-mentor approves you for your first jaunt."
It's Not an All-Or-Nothing Situation
" I think it’s important to remember that even if you screw up and make some bad choices in your 20s, you can still recover."
Just like how some people think that high school is the ultimate time of their lives, others feel this pressure for every important detail of their life to take place in their twenties.
But the twenties are just the years where people figure out who they are and set the stage for the rest of their lives. They should be lived responsibly and safely, but they don't have to be taken seriously all the time, either.